“So what happened anyway?” I asked regarding the soldier’s past lives. “How come you never got any love? What did you do? Just go to wars and fight and die?”
“Pretty much,” he said. “Some other stuff happened in some of my lives but mostly yeah. That was what I did.”
“So you would just go out and get killed young? Is that it?”
“Yeah, I did plenty of that. It took me a long time to learn to stay alive,” he said. “But that’s not the reason nobody loved me. I was alive long enough someone could have loved me if they were gonna.”
“No kidding,” I said trying to conceal my amazement, probably successfully. “I see.”
“Yep, but no one ever did. Not one person has ever loved me as a man in this life or any other until the day I met you.”
I stared. “I have no comment. I have no idea what to say about that.”
“Well there is really nothing to say. It’s what happened.”
I don’t know what you make of this but I’ll tell you what caught my ear and it’s acute. It was this statement:
“It took me a long time to learn to stay alive”.
Is that not true for all of us? Do we not have to learn to stay alive? Do we not have to learn to stay alive in relationship, to not lose out identity to the other person, fight against people who would try to oppress us? I am talking about your integrity as a human being. Are you alive if someone besides you is calling the shots?
This is all Mars stuff by the way. Fight or die.
What do y’all think?