I am pushing myself, mentally at this time. For one thing, I blew up yesterday, and while I managed to contain myself, mostly, I am not content to let it lie.
Mainly, I want to better understand why I got pissed off. Well, actually, I know. But I am trying to go beyond that and go deeper down, to discover what this actually means. What is the rage trying to tell me?
I have really become aware, I think differently than other people and I know it’s because of TV. Or rather, lack of TV. I would have never stole a truck and went to the store when I was ten, if I had a TV. I’d have watched tv like everyone else! I’m really glad, I didn’t have a TV. I know I don’t fit and I know why. Coming to understand this has opened doors for me, allowing me to understand a lot more, Little Match Girl, style.
But I have a TV now, and a computer and a phone and a tablet. At what cost? This is what I want to discern? What am I not doing now, because of this change?
It’s one of the reasons I am having a class. It’s PRODUCTIVE. It’s a good use of my time and skill. People will benefit; their lives will improve and I will make some money. I think this is better for me than watching tweets scroll by, or readings news that leads nowhere and results in nothing.
Virgo is associated with mental faculties and cares for efficiency. Consider this little bauble, I came across: you brain, which weighs about three pounds can do unfathomable things in unfathomable ways. So what are you doing with it? Watching, The Bachelor?
I want to do more than read and write on the internet and get mad. <– that’s a stupid use of my three-pound wonder. I am trying to change the script here, with this class but it’s even more important I push this further, once the class is done.
Even more important is the fact, I want to think my own thoughts. This is harder than it sound, considering all the distraction in infiltration, conscious and otherwise; mostly otherwise.
I tried to find a picture for this but all I see are pink brains, lifting weights. I just can’t let that cutesy represent me. I am giving you the frittata instead. They’re so well pulled together.
Who can relate?