I was thinking about a gal who constantly denigrates herself. This is her business but she tries to make it mine by making remarks that suggest I think negative, and sometimes even vile things about her. “You think this and this of me…”
When she does this, I suppose I’m supposed to protest, “I don’t think that about you. I think you’re a glorious rainbow and sunshine…”
I resist the bait because I don’t like being manipulated. I think her modesty is false, but I don’t really know. The truth is, I don’t think of her at all, except when she engages me in this random way.
I say false modesty, because whatever thoughts are feelings are being assigned to me, she does not agree with them, herself. Thinking yourself horrible and telling others they think you are horrible are very different things. She is not denigrating herself. She is denigrating me by accusing me of (wrongly) having bad thoughts and negative feelings about her, which I don’t have!
Then this morning, I read this by, Madame Jeanne Guyon, written in the 1600’s:
“The high esteem I had for myself made me find faults in everyone else of my own sex. I had no eyes but to see my own good qualities, and to discover the defects of others. I hid my own faults from myself, or if I remarked any, yet to me they appeared little in comparison of others. I excused, and even figured them to myself as perfections. Every idea I had of others and of myself was false.”
When I put these things together, I come up with lack of humility to be the root of the problem.
With Saturn in Scorpio squaring Venus in Leo, I thought this would be worth posting.
How often do you tell people, they think you suck or something akin to that?