More talk on the man who can’t be pleased… here comes the body count.
“So he wakes up with this gal in his bed, never mind who it is. No matter what he does, he’s going to be up a creek and so is she. If he gets rid of her or if she just catches on to some weirdness and decides to get up and get out of there because it’s creepy, then he’ll feel bad. He knows it’s not her. There’s nothing wrong with her.”
“But if she stays, which most women would because they just slept with guy, it’s game on. Not many are going to say, you know what? This was a mistake. Whoops! Most women wouldn’t want to have this in their head so instead they stick around and try to have a relationship with him.”
“And boy will it be great. They’ll get to walk around with him. They’ll go places with him. He’ll be wearing his frowny-face of course. You know. Poor me, I’m stuck here with this woman. This woman I sleep with every night because I don’t know what else to do.”
“Yeah, he’s a victim. And people see it that way too. They see him out there all burdened with this woman who is obviously wrapped around his neck like a noose. Because the fact she is alive and breathing is enough to ruin his day. And quite oddly the sympathy flows where? It flows to him! Look. Poor guy has to drag that woman around. All these mother figures feel sorry for him as if he hasn’t the ability to cut her loose! As if has no responsibility for her presence in her life. Oh woe. She just showed up one day so everyone feel sorry for me.”
“You get the idea. Best not the get in the bed. But if you do I hope you catch on fast because any relationship you want to have with this guy you will have to pretend it into existence because he’s not going to do a thing but wait for the inevitable. And eventually the girl does get away but can you imagine the pain and confusion?”
“It would be awful.”
“Yeah. So it turns out this guy is very bad news for being such an innocent. And who is the victim? Her? Him? What about the people who feel sorry for him and try to make his life better since he’s so sad? I guess they’re victims too. I say, stay the hell out of the bed in the first place. Because if you slip and fall into it… if you take his bait… well talk about a rabbit hole. You’ve just bought a one-way ticket to oblivion hell.”
I wrote this in 2007. In 2010, people are concerned the aspect that creates a situation like this. The fact is, it is a combination. It is this particular chart in total.
My point in writing this was just too illustrate that some people have patterns so ingrained, they are never getting out and anyone who associates with them is going to be pulled in.
It’s not that I think this is common. I am innately drawn to extremes or to the anomaly as I think there is a lot to learn from looking at things that occur at the outer edge so here you go.
That’s Neptune all over!
It’s a little creepy, I must say.
reading posts like these scare the hell out of me! You seem so insightfull, but in teh same time a bit fatalistic. Are we really doomed to carry the burden of our charts forever? I’d be s sad to know things could never change. I want to love so much, but right now I fell as if life isn’t letting me. Saturn is in my 5th house, so I obviously have problems there, but it would be crushing to feel as if all thaht love I feel cant go anywhere because of a stupid planet being in that section in my time of birth! so random…how do you deal with you chart elsa? do you accept it a fate? a problem to be worked out?
Oh Elena can I relate! I have a 5th house Saturn too and relationships have been a lifelong challenge. The few relationships I’ve had always were with men who loved me but weren’t in love with me. I tolerated this for most of my adult life. In recent years, I’ve not tolerated it – and I’ve ended up alone. So what to do?
Not many are going to say, you know what? This was a mistake. Whoops!
Oh… thats way too funny. I could not stop laughing because I have seen to many people fall in this trap. And is to blame??? I say both.
Having Venus sq Neptune, this has been me a number of times but I did learn to cut my losses. In fact, if you don’t learn to say. “this is a mistake”, you most likely continue to make it, into oblivion.
When you are right, your right. LOL
I know that guy! I’ve been the trophy wife that turned into the scorned burden from hell… It hurts to be seen as a burden. At least I figured out it was his head trip, not mine. His words can still bite me after twenty years, though. Seems like the name-calling and put-downs would have worn off by now. I just try to be in the moment and let go of the past. It’s all I can do…
Miss Elsa P… girl!
U just solved the last piece to my cosmic puzzle. I have been posting on this very situation on the boards since the summer. I’m the Libra going though so many growing pains with Saturn in Libra. I broke up with a Saggi over the summer… even though I was head over heels in love with him.
We met earlier this year, became friends over a course of 5 months before taking things further. When we were just friends, he was attentive, supportive, positive, cooked for me… you get my drift. Then the ‘day’ things went further, he shifted immediately. Yes, I did go places with him… I was his gf… but he was different. Met all of his friends, co- workers, etc. Instead of feeling wanted and happy that we could finally be together, I started to feel like I was being ‘tolerated’ in his life and I just couldn’t shake this feeling. I went from being confident and secure to becoming confused, unsure and frustrated about someone I thought was my friend.
He tried to keep the act up for a little bit, but it became harder and harder for him. After a month, I started to break things off saying he wasn’t bf material and seemed to be happier single ; this man would argue me down every time until I gave in to continue seeing him.
But looking back on it, the ‘fantasy’ of being with me was so much more his speed. Loving me from afar floats his boat. I finally did break it off after 2 months. I was in love, but felt it was time to cut my losses because things were weird and a lot didn’t add up. I went through another 3 months of confusion, self analysis, questions and crying… pure heart ache.
You know what, you are right. He knew he was this way already. When we did finally break up, he talked about me to everyone else again about how much he liked me and would love to be with me if things were better in his life….
Well, we gave it another go round a few more times…. but it was never the same. He would get back together with me, and then become a party animal 7 days a week, treat me like crap… anything to make me go away again… because he knew I would.
I finally cut him off for good… told him to not contact me again…. no friends, nothing… because friends don’t treat friends like crap. 2 weeks ago, he tried to come back around with the same MO,but things were different for me this time and I called him out on all of his bs via an email. I felt duped, tricked… and I felt he deserved to hear the truth about himself even if no one else had the cojones to do so. He is very good at keeping women in his life who will ‘mother’ him and feel sorry for his plight. He was livid and I didn’t even have to read his response to know that… after all… I told him I would just delete it… because the gig was up… the magic trick has been revealed 😉
I saw him last week at a party, and his female friends gave me the dirtiest looks… I guess I did him wrong and I’m the bad guy now because I won’t put up with his head games anymore.. How dare I stand up for myself! BUT he also knows that I now know his dirty little secret. No woman will ever be good enough for him … NO woman. He knew how he would act once we got together. It took me 3 months to figure it out… but he is not happy at all knowing that I’m on to him.
This post and the one from yesterday, only answered my cosmic question and affirmed my psychic analysis of what really went down…. and I’m sure with a little help from Saturn in Libra 😉
So Thank You Elsa P.
Yes, ladies, stay away from the Big Bad Wolf..it’s no fun being Little Red Riding Hood in the dark forest of confusion…
Why only man ?
Barry, I am all over this blog talking about impossible-to-please women.
This is private conversation made public that concerns A MAN, not all men. It’s a one shot deal.
I do not think men are hard to please (on the contrary). I think this man is an anomaly.
Thank you for the excellent post Elsa. It made a few things make a lot of sense for me.
Barry, she was talking to me about a particular individual I was dealing with. he just happened to be a man. Elsa is very fair in her truth-telling.
I am stumped.
It was not an accusation against anybody.
All I meant to say was that by any chance may be we too feel & perhaps lump it up.
Satori , no issues. 😀
“we too feel…”
Barry, what I mean is that Elsa never said otherwise.
I think it is so easy to say oopps srry, lets be friends… or in some other time just avoid the person, and in most cases after a few weeks or months without seeing each other… be friends… im a master on that.
Im a rising Virgo, Scorpio Juno, Aquarius moon, Gemini Lilith.
Elsa i lost my password… how do i make a new one/recover it?
Paulo, do you mean your password on the boards?
im probably under the same email i use to post in here
Elsa… I have a question on behalf of a guy like this & I realise that he may have more clues in his particular chart, so it might be hard for you to say exactly, but…
He craves intensity & lots of sex, but he can’t sustain a relationship- even short term, because he’s so detached, unemotional, “cold”.
Is there a solution? Does the guy stay single… end up visiting pro’s the rest of his life for sex? What does a guy like this DO to keep himself sane & maintain a certain kind of happy?
If you have a minute, I’d really like to hear what you have to say!
Paulo – I changed your password and PM’ed it to you. You can sign in and change it to whatever you want. If you have more problems, let me know.
McKenna – sounds like a good question for the boards and you’re right – I’d have no idea what is actually going on without a chart.
Thanks Elsa =)