Low Maintenance Friend

high maintenenceWhen Saturn entered Libra,  I wrote about high maintenance types going out of vogue.  You may notice that we don’t even hear that phrase anymore (in regular circles). People used to boast about their over-the-top demanding personalities and it just doesn’t fly at this point.

I’ve become a lot less demanding of my friends over the last couple years. I’m also tax my husband less than I used to and support him more.

I can’t tell you how important it is to make these adjustments now. This plays into the Uranus Pluto square.  With things as tense as they are, people just aren’t going to want to deal with people who create problems for others, while stock in people you can rely on not to cause you a problem goes sky high.

Do you require less maintenance then you did two years ago?

 

 

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Low Maintenance Friend — 23 Comments

  1. I require less maintenance, yes. I was never high maintenance, though, and was always pretty low key. Now I expect even less from my friends. And yet, oddly, I can’t seem to get even what I do require: respect, kindness, benefit of the doubt, and a simple freaking apology when the other person treats me poorly. I’ve found myself giving up on people who can’t meet my relatively low expectations. I think that these things are a bare minimum for me. I don’t require time, I don’t require a lot of attention, I don’t require a ton of praise, or presents, or investment. But the little of that stuff I do get? I want to be respectful and loving in nature. Not sure why I can’t seem to get that lately. It’s troublesome.

  2. I don’t think of myself as high maintenance but have noticed that I’m content with socializing than in younger years. I’ve become more of a homebody which suits me fine as I share my home with a lovely man. Plus I am in debt saving mode.

    Within my group of friends we are doing more dinner parties and entertaining at home than going out anymore. So many of my friends have young families and socializing in public (like a group dinner) is more trouble/expense than it’s worth. Plus you can’t talk to everyone!

  3. In the past few years, I let go of everything, and stepped off the cliff with nothing but my faith. It’s still a work in progress, but so far, everything I have now is better than everything I gave up.

    I have never been high maintenance, but always had that idea that, “If only I could afford those fancy clothes, expensive restaurants, exotic vacations, motor home, etc….”

    Now, I really do realize that those things do not matter. I’m thankful every day for the beautiful trees in my yard, my wonderful children, the potato I’m eating for lunch, etc.

    I HAVE relaxed my perfectionist expectations on my kids. You can do everything right, and still have everything fall apart. Yet, things still work out.

    God has our backs, and I am very conscious of not forcing my kids to do things the way I do them. I allow more shades of grey on the scale of “The Right Way and the Wrong Way to do Things.”

  4. I’ve never been high maintenance so all those high maintenance friends I had have gone. I removed them from my life. I agree with Rkkggg that the basics of respect was missing from those friendships so all this high maintenance of apologising, spending time and giving up my own time for my things in the process became too much. With little in return, its alright to be rude to me but yet to them I have to say sorry and walk on egg shells. I guess that’s why I still have a friend of 22 years who’s the same as myself. I don’t need to call or see her all the time nor send presents for xmas and birthdays. I believe that everyone has their own life and things that they have to do but in return it isn’t the same.

    I agree though with people who don’t create problems are out and those who create harmony in. I’ve just learnt in the last 2 years that the best response is no response to the dramas that people wish to drag me into and create out of thin air.

  5. Elsa, this has been on my mind a lot recently… as my relationship(and bf) is becoming more and more high-maintenance over the 4 years. Or maybe it is because I’ve changed and can’t deal with it any longer. I also blame myself for accommodating his high-maintenance letting it get this bad.

    And it’s difficult to suddenly not want to deal with it as I think the relationship will likely end because this will put too much of a strain on the already set patterns in our behaviors and way of interacting…
    🙁

  6. It is interesting how “high maintenance” isn’t heard much any more. There are still a lot of high maintenance people in the public eye, but to me it seems like they are becoming more laughingstocks than role models (like Kim Kardashian).

    I’ve always considering myself low maintenance, but I’ve become more so. I’m thinking more and more about what I can add to a relationship versus what I can get out of a relationship, and people who are thinking the same way are more appealing to me.

  7. I’ve never been really high maintenance but I’m definitely less demanding of my friends. For me, it’s a real understanding that life is short and I want to be the best person I can be and I want to be around people who are not emotional vampires or those who feel the need to create unnecessary drama.

    My husband who is high maintenance has calmed down quite a bit. My boss not so much.

  8. I was still involved with quite few high maintenance people three years ago but they’ve all gone out of my life now – they might say the same of me, I’m not sure; I hope I was giving more than I was taking.

    In any event I now live a pretty solitary life and I just can’t cope these days at all with people who drain me. I don’t ask anyone for anything either, any more. though I do have a few little jobs with an electric drill for the dog’s dad, who is shortly arriving to stay for a few days 😉

  9. I am mostly self-maintaining. When I do need to ask for help, I tend to be pretty clear about what specifically I am asking for and why.

    My friends are all self-maintaining as well. One friend has a girlfriend who’s a bit high maintenance, and quite honestly I’m concerned for them both. We shall see.

  10. Absolutely, I’ve become even more independant and self-reliant and I didn’t think that was possible. I’ve also been setting better boundaries with others that are overly dependant,
    Angie

  11. Definately…at least I am still learning to be. I have done some extreme things a last attempt at emotional survival (Pluto transit) but all in all, yes…I have just let go and those that are still my friends are pretty laid back. And even if they are high maintenance, they are striving to be more autonomous and stand on their own to feet in the future. It’s just a struggle for some, and it’s no fault of theirs. I embrace being able to be there for them.

  12. I have always thought of myself as a low maintenance friend, but honestly I am not sure if it’s true or just my imagination. I appreciate my low maintenance friends a lot, that’s for sure. It’s so nice when you can pick up the phone and just carry on where you left off, without them saying anything like, “why haven’t you called?” I hate those guilt trips.

  13. I’m with Kashmiri on this one– focusing on a solid relationship is ratcheting back my desire to socialize. (And, coffee, always. :D)

    I don’t know anyone who’s not dealing with something serious. Diagnosis with Alzheimer’s, suicidal depression, to name a few off the top of my head. Who has time/energy for much more than simple survival right now?

    That said, the things that are getting done, and the relationships that are prospering, are the solid, real ones, so it’s no big loss.

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