Love, Undermined By Your Therapist

scorned womanI had a client today, concerned her lover’s therapist might undermine her.  I thought the man she was dating was way too smart to let that happen. He was a Scorpio.

This happened to me once. I began dating a man who was in therapy. He was a Scorpio and we hit it off. He told his therapist about me and she came unglued.   He said she started clucking like a hen and tapping her clipboard with her pen. He was shocked. He’d been seeing her for about six months.

He said she’d never acted this way when he came in, week after week, feeling morose after yet another bad date.   Apparently she got all frantic, telling him what he was doing was all wrong – he wasn’t ready for a relationship and blah, blah.

He sat there, realizing she was jealous and interested in him herself.  Yes! By the time he finished the session, he’d lost all respect for her.

He left the session, then called her the next day to cancel their standing appointment. He never saw here He and I dated happily for the next three years.

I think this gal in the same situation I was.  You mess with a Scorpio’s love and they’re going to know it.

Have you ever been undermined by a therapist?

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Love, Undermined By Your Therapist — 18 Comments

  1. No, but I did suspect that my ex’s therapist (after we broke up) had a crush on him from things he mentioned her saying. Then again, almost every single female he knew but one had a crush on him, so in a way it wasn’t surprising. That said, it seemed really unprofessional. He was all, “I don’t think so,” but it was really suspicious stuff. Not this bad though.

  2. This guy thought the world of this woman right up until he went to this session. Boy when that veil dropped, it dropped and I bet she was devastared.

    He had Sun, Venus, Mercury and Saturn in Scorp and when that much Scorpio pulls out – you notice!

  3. No but I had a Scorpio tell me he’d told his therapist about me… he even told me what she had said about him seeing me. Turned out he never mentioned me to his therapist.

  4. I’ve had therapists undermine my romantic relationships, my relationship with my sister, even my relationship with myself.

    The irony? I’m also a therapist.

    A craftsperson is only as good as the tools s/he uses. A therapist’s tool is his/herself. And we’re all people just like any other.

    I tell people looking for a therapist is just like dating: you gotta find the right fit, and you gotta look out for the crazies.

  5. I friend of mine had a nervous breakdown in the summer because a therapist had insisted a (very damaged) young woman he’d been living with and supporting break off all contact with him. Their affair was already over some time before; but she’d been living in his house and they were, supposedly, very fond of one another and very close. This is a good, caring man whose only fault is to be too nurturing and caring to the point his boundaries disappear… He’s a Cancer stellium with lots of Taurus

    I got to hear all the gory details and I have no doubt at all this woman, the therapist, should have been struck off for the way she behaved – it was totally unprofessional and manipulative, and utterly without regard for any consequences to him. She’s quite well known btw

  6. I think therapists can be helpful for people… sometimes. Maybe folks who don’t have a lot of time or inclination for self-analysis and need time to come to conclusions.

    However my experience is that two consults with you, Elsa, helped me more than the 10 years of trying various therapists. Not so many of them in my experience are interested in fixing people and getting them on their way.

  7. Thank you, Shaina. 🙂 I got out of my way not to create a dependency with my clients. I’d much rather be a key or the magic pill. I try to crack the nut, right there on the spot. Hand over the goods in 3 seconds if possible.

  8. “Not so many of them in my experience are interested in fixing people and getting them on their way.”

    Exactly.Some of them are interested in extracting more money out of their clients.

  9. here’s my story back in college. i was seeing a therapist initially to have access to a “smart pill” in order to maintain my scholarship. my future and dreams depends on my grades so i lied to my therapist that i have OCD…lol! within few sessions we got along so well and to my surprise his “alma mater” is the same school as mine. when he asked me which school i go to, i gave him a different name. i figured since i lied, i might as well be consistent. it’s the virgo and scorpio in me. one day, i was at the campus library and decided to look up my therapist. i wasn’t surprised he was a stellar student and graduated magna cum laude plus has written quite a few books in his field. when i looked at one of his books, it was dedicated to his daughter who just passed away. you can just imagine how bad i felt that time. fast forward, my roommate’s sister was in town and the waitress forgot to mention that one of the ingredients in my side dish was peanut oil which i am highly allergic. in no time my face swelled up and i ended up in the emergency hospital instead. the hospital i was brought in was a teaching hospital and the chief resident administered an epinephrine shot right away. my “smart pill” did not go well with the shot and i almost died that evening due to cardiac arrest. the hospital called my family physician in the middle of the night to get my medical history. the following day, my therapist called me that he can’t see me anymore because he was just diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and he needs to take some time off. i knew he was lying. so every time i would talk to my room mate then, she never forgets to tease me, see everyone gives up on you, even your own therapist except me and we would end up laughing but then i would answer that it was all her fault anyway if she did not invite me to have dinner with her sister. i under estimated the power of manipulation.

  10. I had been seeing this therapist for a few months and didn’t feel it was going anywhere so i stopped seeing her. She would call me and leave me messages sounding frantic, saying she thinks it’s a very bad idea that I stop seeing her at this time… it was weird- like she was creating this drama that didn’t really exist.

    I had another strange experience with a male therapist. I had been going to him off and on for a year, he was about 20 yrs older then me. I got the impression he was attracted to me but I thought that maybe I was just misreading the situation. Then one day I get this call from him inviting me out to some social event with him. I never talked to him again. That just weirded me out. I’m a bit disillusioned with therapists.

  11. I’ve only been to one therapist and she was super effective, got me “mentally healed” in 2-3 months. After reading these previous posts, I feel thankful for getting a “normal” therapist! I can’t believe how many nutty therapists are out there all manipulating people!

  12. My therapist helped save me from a really bad relationship! She never gave advice, she just let me talk and come to my own realizations. I finally realized i deserved to be treated with respect. Thank God for her.

  13. IMO she was not a very good therapist. A good therapist doesn’t try to control someone’s life or their choices, or outright tell them what they are doing is wrong.

    Just as in any profession, you have to use discernment to weed out the good from the bad. Sounds to me like this one was in the latter category, and maybe had some unhealthy transference going on.

    Serenity

  14. @Petra…”I can’t believe how many nutty therapists are out there ALL manipulating people.”

    It is difficult to categorize any one profession and lump them all together as “nutty and manipulative” but this one did sound as though she was getting some kind of secondary gain (six months of therapy is no longer the norm). There are good and bad, and as I said in a recent post, you have to use discernment about who you choose to let into your life and what you disclose to them.

    Just because someone is a therapist, doesn’t mean they are “automatically” to be trusted. Many therapists lose their licenses every day, and often it is because of an inappropriate or sexual relationship with their client. Go figure!?

    Serenity

  15. With regards to Elsa’s story – I was going to say that the therapist wanted him for herself! Yikes!

    Anyway – I’ve never been undermined by a therapist…

  16. @Lunalie…yes it does sound like the above mentioned therapist had some underlying motives behind her actions…again it has been mentioned already, there are ethical standards that all therapists must abide by, if in fact they are not acting the client’s best interest, it should be reported to the State licensing board.

    They can investigate and make the appropriate recommendations….Therapists that undermine a client’s rights should be reported as they will most likely continue to harm others if nothing is done…there are very strict guidelines to prevent therapist abuse of client’s rights…No one should feel their right to be free of sexual harassment has been violated fro ANY professional providing a service.

    Serenity

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