I have achieved more in life than I ever dared to hope. But I’m almost 28, and I have never had a real relationship.
I used to not like myself. Now I do, but I’m still scared that others won’t. I have so much love to give and I’m wondering if I will ever find a man to fall in love with, and who will fall in love with me just as much.
What can I do to not get disappointed, cheated on and lied to again? When these things happened to me, I was naive. Now I think I’m too careful and worry that I’m scaring off the good men. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but most of all I’m scared to get hurt again myself. Then again the loneliness hurts so much more.
I simply don’t know where to start or what to do. Please help!
You are not going to be able to live in this world and avoid pain. In love or otherwise, pain is always a possibility and it’s not necessarily the worst thing that can happen.
For example, in your case, it is “pain” that motivated you to write me. And it will be pain that ultimately forces you to get back out there and love again.
Here’s the astrology: you have Pluto (pain) opposite your Venus (love). I do not doubt you have been devastated in love. And you have tried to amputate this part of your nature, but it’s not working is it? It’s not. You are in more pain than ever and I have to suggest you get comfortable with this… and yes. I’m serious.
I suggest you dive head first into your love pain. I suggest you wallow and you writhe around in it, because this is way to get clear. And I’ll tell you what to look for, when you’re down there.
I want you to look for your own powerful love. Whatever these men did to you… they could only hurt you as badly as they did because of your own depth. Would a superficial person have been as devastated as you were? No. You got hurt because of your ability to love intensely, which is your gift as well as your curse. And it’s a piece of you, a part of you that you cannot divorce, so please…
Try to embrace this part of you that wants and needs to connect deeply with another person. This is the love you have to give and need to share, even it hurts. Know why? It’s because this is who you are.
Would you rather be some flip little chick, one inch thick? Well, would you? I don’t think so.
Personally, I love to the bone. I love until my heart hurts inside my chest. And that pain is beautiful, can you see that? Keep looking until you can. And then go out there with your awesome love and find yourself someone who wants nothing less than what you’re offering. Because people like that exist, I promise you that.