Venus: Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder!

Dina asks on  He’s Not Into You:

“But, Elsa, what if you’re fat? Or what if you’re unkempt? Primping is so emphasized in our culture, playing the courting game, wearing clothing that flatters and changes you.. “Staying just as you are because someone’s looking for you..” I don’t know.”

Dina, one person’s fat is another person’s desirable. What is unkempt to one is casual and relaxed to another. Less you think this answer is a cop out, let me make this very clear…

Fat and unkempt is a condition that is in the moment. I have been fat and unkempt at times in my life. Matter of fact I have been very fat and very unkempt. These things can and do change especially when someone comes along and loves you.

It’s far more important to develop your individual character if you want to attract satisfying relationship.  It’s very simple. Would you rather be happy… or beautiful?

Actually happy people are beautiful. People want to be around them because they make you feel goo. Fellow astrologer, Jack Fertig, now deceased, said it best:

“Whatever you may think, it’s never your age, your weight, your hair, your height, or your abstinence from gymnasia. It’s ALWAYS your attitude.”

I agree with him. Pretty (handsome) only gets you the first date. If you are a boring jerk, no one is going to love you and furthermore I have had people date my hair and it was not what I would call a good experience. In fact, I would call it a demoralizing experience.

Develop and open your individual heart and mind and soul. How else will love get in?  But let’s ask people. Let’s experiment because I betcha the answer to this is incredibly varied.

What type person (appearance or otherwise) do you find most attractive? Where is your Venus?

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Comments

Venus: Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder! — 109 Comments

  1. “Although I don’t believe men should wear white underwear. Ever.”

    ha ha
    And I don’t think they should wear underwear at all. Ever. 😉

  2. LOL at Elsa and the underwear. Can’t argue with that!

    Venus in the 8th in Cancer. I love people who are intense, who need me in some way, who feed me and like my cooking. Physically I can’t say I have a specific type although I’m more likely to find someone too skinny than too fat. I like substantial people.

    • Right on Lupa. More to love. Your type sounds like a dream. Add a noble brave kind heart, a taciturn guarded but sweet disposition, a bit of eccentricity and Im SO there.

  3. I love intelligence and smart discourse. With Mercury in the 7th I have to not only be able to have a conversation with said person, I have to love talking to them. I mean I must. Or else it is just not going to work out.

    Oh, and Venus in Virgo wants somebody perfect-looking. So all of my men have been very good-looking and tall.

  4. Venus Aquarius. Oh lord, I want the entire bag of skittles!! Tall, short, thick, thin, all different creeds!! But someone who can keep up with me intellectually, and be someone who isn’t afraid of what other people think when my Aqua Moon & Mars expresses itself..being at least a little outside of normal is a requirement.

    Venus in the 1st house…yes they come to me, or there isn’t too much chase involved..I am so lucky about that! 🙂

  5. addendum to 1st house…Venus is in Aqua, so maybe my relaxed approach makes it feel like there isn’t much chase.

  6. Fearless lovers, that’s what I like. If you love me, I don’t care what you look like. Although I don’t believe men should wear white underwear. Ever.

    (Venus/Mars conjunct in Aries)

  7. Double sag with venus cap.
    I go for serious types, so I can make them laugh.
    Caps,Saturn 5th and so on.
    As soon as they bend (with laughter), they´re mine.

  8. I’m weird I think.

    For whatever reason – physically, I love guys with dark hair and pasty skin. And dark eyes. I know – what is that about? John Cusack types.

    I like bigger over skinnier. I want someone I can burrow into.

    Venus in Virgo in the 12th.

  9. Hmm… fun question

    i have Venus in Leo in a t-square with Neptune and Saturn…

    i like a man who is possessive and emotionally honest. He also needs to be patient with my moon-pluto emotional intensity–

    i don’t think about looks much… but for sure i’m not attracted to overly groomed men, which i’ve come to associate with Venus in Libra

  10. You are addicting tonight, Elsa, you’re the blogtender / blogmeister, and the lights are flashing and there’s a big ON sign up and down the bar tonight! That tips happy hour added a nice positive spin to a day that was otherwise spinning out in the wrong dirction, everybody is ON tonight. One of those nights. Even better is tomorrow I will know where I went and there will be some money left and I will know what happened to the money that is gone.

    OK to the question, I don’t like real big guys. I like them about my height (5’8, give or take a couple)and not all muscle bound. OK, not so much effeminate, although I have had problems with gay them chasing down my date and trying to buy them drinks.

    I like pierced ears, both ears or multiple pierces in ears, not nose or eyebrows. They have all had blue eyes, so I guess I must like that. They usually have blonde hair & wear a lot of black with their jeans & maybe a chain with a gemstone on it, probably a stone I got for them for their chart.

    Unfortunately, they are usually talented musicians & every iota of the drama that goes with it. They are always romantic, sometimes they have money, sometimes they have no money, that is not a requirement. Either light hair or shaved head or bald head, any of those three seems to be my type. I think shaved or bald with earrings is incredibly sexy.

    They should be brilliant, but not smarter than me ;-). They can’t be real bossy or it will not work out, so I don’t do that well with cardinal energy except for capricorn. Also, they have to be either really talented in bed, or else really eager & learners, or else it wont even last beyond 1 night. I am serious, I am really a Taurus about that.

    But my Venus, care to hazard a guess based on this description? You are correct if you say Aries ;-). It’s alone in the first house opposite Neptune alone in Libra in the 7th, what a big surprise.

  11. Clothing-free men! Wooo!

    I like substantial people like Lupa does. I have a compulsive attraction to big shoulders, hairy chests, and deep voices, but more a man with meat on his bones than a gym rat. With Venus in Virgo in 3rd, I have zero explanation for this. Maybe it’s Mars in Cancer? For (straight) women, isn’t it our Mars that tells us this?

  12. Oh yeah, and they are somewhere between 7 and 15 years younger than me. I would be very surprised if I dated someone my age again ever.

  13. Venus in Aquarius…
    Firstly, I need an intelligent man who I can debate about everything under the sun with. I also tend to go for men who are a little rough around the edges, and who are strong. As to physical looks, my two biggest loves looked very similar to one another…tall, strong, not skinny but not fat, very pale with brown hair and light colored eyes.

  14. Also, I like men who are a bit sarcastic…the biggest tip off to me liking someone is if we are constantly teasing each other back and forth. Not maliciously, but in a witty, sarcastic manner.

  15. This is actually a very touchy subject for me. I gained a LOT of weight after my third child. It changed how my husband felt about me & he treated me differently. Never mind that I was no different inside, it made a difference to him. VERY upsetting to me, even though I know men are visual creatures. Never mind the fact that he had also packed on more than a couple of pounds & it never changed the way I felt about him, nor the way I treated him.
    Fast forward to a year or so ago & I had lost all of the weight (70 lbs worth) and its still off. Regardless of how I look, it hurts me to know his love is so conditional. It just feels shallow to me to define someone by a number on a scale.

    Sure I have my preferences in what type of man I like to look at – we all have preferences. But the first long term relationship I had was with a guy that was heavier than the norm.. my second with a guy that was shorter than the norm. In the end the looks didnt matter a whole heck of a lot… and for me heres why. There IS no such thing as a man Ive ever laid eyes on that I couldnt find something I disliked about his looks. His nose is a bit too long, he’s got a weird chin.. maybe when he smiles he looks a bit nutso. Point out a super hunk celeb. to me & I’ll show you something about him thats .. eh.. in my eyes. So I never really paid a whole lot of attention to looks…because the stuff that makes me love someone, has nothing what so ever to do with it.

    • I hear ya Rox. I think you will find he criticized your weight because he saw that same something in himself. Like a gossipy person hating others who gossip.
      As long as your happy with yourself.
      I have a similar situation. Adore someone who is not good looking at all but has such personality, cleverness, intensity and sweetness. Ive absolutely adored him for 3 years. He sees me as a friend only. Im not younger than him with blonde hair, sea blue eyes so Im just the bestie. Im ok with it. I just find myself gagging on the double standard

  16. Hey–just a thought, but most of the talk on this topic is centering on the superficials–what someone LOOKS like. Isn’t that what we’re trying to prove wrong?

    I mean, yeah, I might have a type I’d stop to admire in the window, but the fit better flatter us both and the quality better be top notch (I buy for long-term, *legacy* use–I’m talking “heirloom quality”) or I’m walking out the door, won’t even consider trying him on. (Cap city, baby!)

    Also quite attracted to the fantasy of finding that perfect piece on the sale rack–the overlooked quirky someone who isn’t demanding first dibs and wouldn’t mind me rescuing him from oblivion. (Venus/Neptune and Aries Moon) A fantasy, I know…

  17. I started typing out what I’ve learned I need in a partner to be fulfilled and realized that it would take me multiple, multiple paragraphs. *lol* Venus hits everything in my chart except, ummm *looks* Mercury and the MC. Although, since Venus hits Saturn (semi-squared, whatever that is) and Saturn is conjunct Mercury, well. Likewise, Venus is conjunct Mars and Mars opposes MC.
    So let’s just call it everything, mmkay? It’s easier! 😀

    Suffice to say, with all the Venus stuff I have a lot more non-physical requirements than otherwise. The looks aspect basically boils down to, “How much does this man look like Jason Statham and/or Michael Chiklis?”

  18. hmmm…I don’t care too much about thick or thin…I do prefer a taller man, but I’m so short that most men are taller than me anyway 😉 I like European looking ones, physically (dark hair, dark eyes, latin/roman features)…but I’ve dated all kinds. In the end, the looks don’t really matter…I like men who stimulate me mentally – they have to be intelligent, or I just have no respect for them. They have to be good communicators…and if they like the food I make, that’s even better! They HAVE TO BE SENSUAL!!! Nothing I hate more than someone who kisses like a stiff-lipped lizard…:-P blick!! And if they’re turned off by PDA’s (public displays of affection), then they are NOT the guy for me…

    Venus in Taurus conjunct Mars in Gemini (rawr! 😉 haha)

  19. Venus in Aries conjunct 8th house cusp. Intellect is number 1 in my books. Intensity runs a very close second. All my life it appeared to be dark haired men with blue eyes that I grew close to (maybe because of my Dad), but looks are the least of what draws me to a man. The weirdest thing though is the man I am in love with, was the first blond man and Libra! but it is his mind and wit that drew me. Once in love the person is beautiful to behold, not matter what he appears to in others’ eyes. Regardless he is very handsome 🙂 Too bad it didn’t work out. So much to have explored,and learned.. but all thrown away when he decided I was too much of a wild card and uncontrollable. He went for a married thing that has a boy toy on the side because she is safe ROFLMAO.

    He was right to run I think because no man is EVER going to control me. I wanted an equal, isn’t that what lovers should be?! I would never respect a man I could walk over and control, in fact there would be zero attraction in the first place.

  20. Oh Loonsounds, that made me feel better! (the age difference thing)

    I guess I’m a pretty intense person, so they have to be able to handle that. With Sun in Scorpio, Venus in Scorpio and Mars in Virgo, the guy i am into right now fits the requirements right on. He’s 6’3″ (i’m 5’3″), slim, dark (gelled) hair (straight up), earings in each ear, and he definitely has the whole Scorpio gaze thing going on. Also, he really knows how to dress himself! (yumm). He’s pretty shy too, and that totally gets me. For some reason, I’m really not attracted to blue eyes in a guy.

    Sun, Mercury, Venus and Neptune, all in the 8th.

    I sure agree with your last paragraph Daemoness, I don’t want to be able to walk all over a guy.

    And since we are not just talking about looks – they have to ultimately be kind, mostly honest, funny is an advantage, they have to be willing to try, fairly smart… what the heck, I guess a person could go on forever. It’s just like Elsa says… no matter how perfect they look (tall, short, skinny, fat, etc.) they won’t make it past the first date if they haven’t got it between the ears.

  21. I’ve Venus in Sag, conj Neptune, sextile Pluto. I think Neptune accounts for my vague preferences. Every time I thought I had a characteristic I wouldn’t be able to handle (e.g. obese, doesn’t like reading etc.), someone would come along and prove me wrong so I’ve stopped thinking along those lines. Instead I think about interactions e.g. how we feel or act around each other or with others, how we handle conflict, how the relationship as a separate entity is etc. Compatibility in personalities, backgrounds and values doesn’t seem to be all that important to me although it helps a great deal.

    If I had to make a list (very un-Neptune!) of prerequisites, it would be instinctual feelings of trust, mutual understanding and good communication. That primal understanding where you both just… know. (On a side note, there are ppl I’ll gab all day with about anything that I would never trust; good conversation isn’t the same as good communication.)

  22. Lilly said:

    “hmmm…I don’t care too much about thick or thin…I do prefer a taller man, but I’m so short that most men are taller than me anyway I like European looking ones, physically (dark hair, dark eyes, latin/roman features)…but I’ve dated all kinds. In the end, the looks don’t really matter…I like men who stimulate me mentally – they have to be intelligent, or I just have no respect for them. They have to be good communicators…and if they like the food I make, that’s even better! They HAVE TO BE SENSUAL!!! Nothing I hate more than someone who kisses like a stiff-lipped lizard…:-P blick!! And if they’re turned off by PDA’s (public displays of affection), then they are NOT the guy for me…

    Venus in Taurus conjunct Mars in Gemini (rawr! haha)”

    Yep! That’s me too!
    Venus in Taurus in the 5th
    Ceres conjunct North Node in the 6th (they HAVE to like the food I make)
    Mars in Gemini in the 7th

    🙂

  23. Venus in Gemini in the 12th, probably opposite Neptune (but this opposition is very weak.

    I like people who are intelligent, witty, a bit sarcastic and good at expressing their thoughts, both in terms of being able to find proper words for them and being willing to share them – because conversation is what matters most to me in a relationship. I like it when somebody has a wide vocabulary and can use it. On the other hand, swearing puts me off instantly.

    But, as there’s not only Gemini/Mercury involved, they can’t be superficial. I look for sensitive, even oversensitive types – and that is sometimes difficult, because they tend to have some problems with themselves – family traumas, a tendency to depression etc. And funny that they are often somewhat artistic types – unfulfilled musicians and the like 🙂

  24. Well, with Uranus in the 7th I want someone significantly weird and genius but this side (my side) of crazy.

    I like men with big noses and if a man doesn’t have one I am going to be looking elsewhere.

    Can you imagine the horror for someone like me if the media is able to convince men to pare down their noses the way they have women? Gah.

    I like someone highly, highly unique – “iconoclastic men” as Scott once pointed out:

    https://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/2006/11/07/pluto-transit-to-the-moon-mine-who-do-you-love-do-you-have-an-organic-attraction-to-a-physical-type-planets-lined-up-in-scorpio-and-iconoclastic-men/

    Based on this, the idea of everyone becoming homogenized is enough to make me ill.

    • I love your type too Elsa. Quirky and eccentric. A bit taciturn intense with a sweet heart who can take my ribbing(I like to play with my food before I pounce-year of Tiger)
      Venus in Scorio in 2nd. Moon in Taurus in 8th

  25. Venus in Taurus, but other than “stable” I don’t much go for stuff like that. I’m already a semi-mega Taurus as is 😛 My man tastes tend towards my Mars in Leo and Juno in Aquarius- so flashy, charming, weird…

  26. gosh, appearance can be so varied. i prefer striking, in some fashion.

    i’m more concerned with character- without intensity, depth, and integrity i’m not going to want to stick around.
    and i can’t tolerate someone telling me who to be or who i am.

    venus/aries/8. (in aspect to saturn, pluto, uranus, neptune, and a partridge in a pear tree.)

  27. and, yeah. women are the only people who keep a running tally of clothing/hair/makeup/accessories/etc.- i think it’s some kind of female status game, really. in my experience, men seem to be more interested in the girl than her accoutrements (or, when do they typically notice that you’ve had your hair done? before or after your female friends… if at all?)

  28. I totally agree with you Elsa. I have a very good friend who is a bit heavy, but her personality shines and there is not a person who doesn’t love to be around her. She is funny, fun to be around, smart, passionate…etc. She knows who she is and what she’s about, despite her weight. She does disclose to me that she gets very insecure about her weight, but I think her character is more powerful than any old insecurity. I love her to pieces and I can’t see why a decent man wouldn’t love her as well. He’d be crazy lucky if you asked me.

    And I’m glad you made this post because I had a minor observation yesterday I wanted to ask about. I noticed that the types I am MOST attracted to either have Sun in Cancer (mostly), or ASC in Cancer. I pretty much think anybody can be attractive in their own ways…..but Cancerians…whooo, it’s just something about them. My Mars is in Cancer, and I wondered if that was connected in some way. My husbands Mars is in Leo, and I am a Leo Sun (I hope he finds me the most attractive??? 🙂 )

  29. I have a tattoo on my upper back of the Venus of Willendorf – for many reasons, one of which is a reminder that the “ideal” woman has changed many many many times over the years.

    I love that quote, too, Elsa. Pretty doesn’t even get the first date with me, most of the time. If someone opens his/her mouth and can’t engage me in conversation, I’m done. I know it sounds snooty, but I need reasonably complete sentences and a brain in the skull.

    I do sort of have a physical type that I am *more* attracted to – big bear-like men with great legs, LOL – but it’s so far down the list that it’s not going to be any sort of qualification for me. I mean, that’s what will turn my head walking down the street, you know? (That and Brad Pitt …. ) But it’s not what ultimately will attract me beyond that first glance, and I find that people become more physically attractive to me as they become more appealing – which means as I get to know them more.

    I’ve got Venus conj Mars in 2nd house Cancer, opposite 8th house Jupiter in Cap.

  30. So…hummm. Did that Scorpio Capricorn guy from a few months ago end up with that woman he was after? Ha Ha.

    I am dying to find out the birthday of this guy I’ve been attracted to for months cause he’s so not my ‘type’ but he affects me on a karmic level that has got me sideways. I don’t think it has much to do with beauty because we all gravitate to our archetypes of attractive but in the end it’s the energy between two people that determines everything.

  31. This is gonna be long, hopefully it’ll make it. 🙂 When I read this post, I was immediately reminded of something from a Carolyn Hax Live advice column:

    Question: I know this makes me look like a 3 year old, but here goes, anyway. My husband of 8 years and I had a rocky marriage almost from the start, so I was not terribly surprised when he left me for someone else. Here’s the “shallow” part: his new GF is seriously overweight, lives in greasy jeans, has a bad complexion and long, unwashed hair. She has 2 children but has never been married, and lives off food stamps and AFDC while working part-time at a local convenience store. While I’m certainly not a 10, I’m a professional who works hard to stay trim and neat and have a nice appearance.

    So, while of course I know the beauty is only skin deep bit, I can’t help but wonder why he left me for her? (Would I feel better if he left me for a PhD beauty queen? Dunno.) We’re actually on decent terms so I asked him! His response was, he really can’t explain it, of course I’m better looking, better educated, but for whatever reason they just clicked. FWIW, our sex life was fine and neither one of us wanted children.

    I’m sure in time this will be better, and I’m already doing better, but still. It seems silly to be jealous of someone with such seeming negatives but hey, she has my guy! Any thoughts on how I could get a handle on this would be appreciated. Thanks.

    Hax’s Answer: I’m going to let everyone else debate your take on the bad complexion/job/decisions, and answer your question straight: When it’s work to be with someone, none of the bells and whistles matter — in the end, it just feels like work. When it’s easy to be with someone, the lack of bells and whistles is not something you care about as much as you may have thought. It’s just easy.

    So I would advise not beating yourself up, and just making peace with the element you know best — in fact, knew before there was even a somebody else. You and he were work.

    Now, could he find her easy to be with because he doesn’t challenge/threaten/emasculate/scare him, etc.? Sure. She could also be warm and funny and emotionally available and someone who gets him in a way no one else ever has. Either way, it’s not about you, it just is.

  32. Wonderful Venus stuff. I have Venus in Pisces in the 7th and have felt a bit like a fish waiting in the water and whatever comes along I hook into. Don’t worry this has changed especially after the ‘find the divine in everyone’ thing turned sour a bit too often. It’s energetic resonance for me as all my loves have had totally different exteriors – though I don’t like pretty boy men. I have Mars conjunct Moon in Scorpio and so need intensity, passion and a certain level of brilliance. What they are/do is important too and I am attracted to their power – not materially, but in themselves e.g. a brilliant sculptor or a genius engineer – sounds all over the place and my lovelife, which has been, would make great comedy.

  33. I have Venus in Pisces, and I am most attracted to women who are creatively expressive, especially dancers. Other than typical male lust based purely on physical appearance, I am drawn to any woman, regardless of size/etc., who knows how to move in a manner that expresses what’s going on inside. In my teens/20s I was really into poets.

  34. Venus in Gemini. I like to debate. I like words. I like verbal competition. But most of all, I like giving someone a hard time in a fun way, him understanding that, and then giving it right back. Gets me every time. Every time.

  35. rox-sorry to hear your story. my weight has fluxed within a 120 pound range during the course of my marraige, so i have some idea. i was really lucky with my husband in that way, but i know many people are not as blessed in that department. {{{rox}}}

    there are lots of really interesting comments on this one! ya’ll are distracting me from my work…lol

    i have venus in scorp in the 3rd. i need a partner i can connect to emotionally, who can weather my emotional range. and it was really important to me to have someone smart enough to get me. i need to laugh, too, so it’s gotta be somebody i can have fun with. that sense of humor thing is pretty hot.

    an earthy chart makes touch a necessity. physical contact heals me and helps keep me on an even keel.

    and communication is a big thing for me, too.

    physically, i’m partial to guys that are tallish, 6 feet or more, and i like kinda big wooly types. average weight or heavier is fine, but skinny guys won’t usually get my attention.

    i enjoyed this post a lot, too. wonderful truisms. 🙂

  36. Shannon, I can so relate! You said what I was alluding to in my reply, that attractive packaging is okay but it’s not going to keep me around too long without something substantial behind it. I, too, become more attracted to someone the longer I know them and see how they “work,” and have had relationships with men I initially thought were downright ugly but later found irrestible because of their minds/thoughts/actions. *lol*
    I wonder if that’s a trait of Venus-Mars conjunction, or is it only responsible for finding burly guys with great legs super-hot? 😉

  37. I have venus in aquarius, and . . . well, that’s had me ripped up for years, so now i am drawn to men who can soothe. i haven’t found one. but i’m “aiming” for this. 🙂

    i guess he’s gotta be intelligent, and complex – enough that i can sink my teeth in or not feel like a deep dark hole around (if he’s surfacey and innocent). i like to “meet my match,” so to speak. and i’m aquarius rising.

  38. Has anyone else noticed we all want smart men? No one’s come in here and said, “I like dumbasses!” *snert*

  39. I have Venus in Aries (6th house on Descendant). I have been in three relationships with Venus-Aries men (incl. current bf) and they are all different! I can’t put my finger on what unites them as “Venus in Aries men”.

    This may seem really superficial but I want my man to look good and take pride in his appearance – clothes are very important to me. No white underwear (lol, kashmiri), no white jeans, no white anything, lol. I don’t care so much about conventional beauty – I don’t need a bodybuilder or muscleman/ male model. Good taste is more important. Well-kept look. Well-read. Culturally open-minded. And music. Very importantly – we have to enjoy the same music.

  40. Rox, I’m so sorry your husband feels that way.

    If it makes you feel better I like woman who are kinda heavyset!

    Rox, I’m not bull-shitting you, I’m telling the truth.

    And I’m sorry your husband can be kinda shallow!

  41. Funny, clean, healthy. Venus Virgo in 12th.

    I have been attracted all kinds of men in all shapes and sizes if they’re funny. But there’s one thing – if a man has an unusual odor, I’m gone. I don’t mean like a musty odor – I mean the scent of his skin turns me off. I guess it’s phermones!

    It’s very subtle.

    I attempted to date an obese man because he had a nice face and made me laugh. But I soon felt smothered by his attitude and his actual size.

    And anyway, very fat typically does mean unhealthy, so there you go. No offense to the woman who gained weight. My thought is this: if you let yourself go, don’t TRY to eat well and get exercise it’s almost like telling your partner, “I don’t love you enough to stay healthy and stick around for you.”

    Caveat: If you’re in a circumstance where you can’t or don’t have time to take care of yourself, okay, fine.

    Note: I do NOT have a bikini bod. I’m a little chunky in certain areas. But I TRY.

  42. venus in aries , and uranus in the 7th , and sag on the 7th/asc…I fall for openminded , funny ,positive and dynamic people..people who think..who keep themselves updated on the world…profession does not matter to me…neither does money…however I like people with a passion:)…looks dosent mean shit…If I fall for someone , no matter if they look like IT from the addams family…I will think they are the most beautiful person in the world..

  43. Venus in Sag in 8th – I like friendly buddy types who love me to death! Must have own interests & not cling. But I should be one of the top interests 🙂 As far as looks go, it varies, but substantial is usually an adjective I could use (probably because Venus trines Jupiter, lol.

  44. Okay, my Venus is in Virgo but I’m sure I’m attracted to Virgoans. In fact I have no idea what I’m attracted to. I usually just sort of ended up with anybody who would pay attention to me. Except for the last guy – Gemini plus Virgo. I’m still crying every day over him. But it was really the Virgo that broke us up.

  45. Venus conjunct Neptune trine Moon in 7th house. (fantasy anyone?). My “dream girl” is Miss America….. but I married a 200+lbs (probably 250+lbs). Why?? ’cause she was sharp witt and played the heartstrings. Oh…. and she loved sex , lots of it.

    What I’m saying here (besides my obvious lack of critical judgment) is this: it was her ability to use her mind , keep her personal hygiene near-immaculate , her clothes were tasteful but just a hint of “come here, I’ve something for you” , and to focus on something other than her body , which won me over.

    I have 3 planets (more in you count the numerous asteroids) in 3rd house. Being able to use your mind is attractive to me. Unfortunetly , this lady turned into something comepletely different almost immediately upon our marriage. So…. mind games are a definite no-no. Honesty goes a long way.

    *Bah* Stuck for words here.

  46. I’m attracted to men who seem like they could look after me – I know that sounds old-fashioned! I don’t need looking after and have spent happy periods as a singleton but the thought of a tall, strong, brave man to look after me is immensely attractive.

    I have Venus in Virgo in fourth house but I’m not attracted to well-presented, clean shaven guys – I much prefer scruffy, unshaven.

    I have Mars in Cancer, first house. I read somewhere that, with females, Mars plays a big part in who we’re attracted to.

    I’ve noticed lately that I’m attracted to men with Scorpio prominent in their chart. Maybe because I don’t have much in mine? (just Uranus and Lilith)

  47. Its been so long, I don’t know if I remember…well, hypothetically speaking, what I definitely need is someone who has a mind as quick as mine, an interest in learning, and understanding. They need to be good at what they do, because I always turn out to get good at whatever I do, and they have to have a strong moral compass. Integrity is important to me. On top of that, as I said to a friend once, if they want to get into my pants, they’d better stop telling me how great they are, and start telling me how great I am!

    Venus in Cancer

  48. Venus in Capricorn, in the 8th. I don’t know if this has anything to do with who I’m attracted to.
    I love ’em smart, and if they are a little bit of a smartass as well? bonus. lol I want them to get me laughing, but find me humorous as well. Sweet as pie, but also deep and intense. And.. as for physical.. typically… dark hair+light eyes= drooooooool 😉

  49. Venus in Gemini in the 8th, looks are way down the bottom of the list for me, my partner was overweight when we met and I can’t remember even noticing! I need someone with an intellect and emotional intelligence. Also someone who doesn’t mind my warped sense of humour:)

  50. 10th house Venus in Taurus trine to 6th house Mars in Capricorn, 7th house cusp in Aquarius. The looks is secondary to the mind which has to be above average:)to challenge my Mercury at 0 Aries. Willing and able to communicate, sensual as in liking touching and to be touched, sense of humor an absolute must, clingy (as in Cancerian) types should not bother. Must appreciate the basic pleasures of life like good food and wine. But the looks – really no importa. The beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

  51. Aquarius Venus in 10th house, conjunct Mercury, opposite Leo Pluto, square Taurus Mars, trine Scorpio Neptune, sextile Aries ascendant.
    Intelligent (not intellectual), funny, friendly, warm, open, reliable, artistic/creative (poetry to photography and all things in between), sensitive to my needs, smells good, dark hair, sparkling eyes, quick wit, nice hands, comfortable in either a suit or jeans, more ‘cabernet & camembert’ than ‘beer & biscuits’ (but I can fancy either type as long as they fit the rest of the description).

  52. dark hair, dark eyes, a solid personality. i prefer oddball, unique, and intense.
    hard to find all of that, but i kinda’ need it. (venus is dancing with a bunch of other planets in my chart.)

  53. Plenty of fat people get love every day. Every friend of mine who is heavier than me has gotten laid a billion more times than me, so I don’t think that’s nearly the stopper that say, a bad personality would be.

    I tend to go for tall and skinny with some kind of cheekbones. Prefer blue eyes (or alternately hazel). Definitely of the geek-cute variety. MUST be a smartass. Probably has nothing to do with Venus in Taurus, but there you go.

  54. Sun & Venus in Aquarius in the 3rd: Like men who can teach me something – poetry, motorcycles, film, cooking – absolutely anything.

    With Scorpio ascendant I can’t tolerate lack of intensity. Can’t play second fiddle to someone who another serious relationship besides me. I have to be number one.

    I don’t care what they look like as long as there is good muscle tone. Agree with Elsa about a big nose. Most of all they just have to “smell right” to me and this is hard to define but unmistakable when it’s present.

  55. Venus (House7) in Gemini, trine Uranus, opposition ASC
    I don’t have a physical type, (although I prefer muscle and tone than skiny or overweight but height is not so important), the intellectual connexion will be a make or break criteria in a firt meeting. I’m attracted to unconventional men (or enterining other social circles, I’m not “supposed” to) and relationships. I love men that go after their (unconventional) dreams and realise themselves against all odds. This is what I find “beautiful”.
    This is the attraction part. Doesn’t mean it works out in the end, because the emotional and sexual aspects will be also determinant.

  56. “dolce – Venus in Gemini. I like to debate. I like words. I like verbal competition. But most of all, I like giving someone a hard time in a fun way, him understanding that, and then giving it right back. Gets me every time. Every time.”

    I have Venus in Gemini in the first and what dolce (above) said a couple years ago is spot on for me! Has to be someone who can make me laugh, an awesome sense of humor is a must, with not taking oneself so seriously being right up there too. Looks don’t matter so much but if they have light eyes, dark hair, and are of the geeky variety then that is a SUPER extra bonus!

    Definitely a sense of humor tho, if you can’t make me giggle with your antics, then there isn’t much hope of me not getting terribly bored. Boredom is definitely not a good thing for any relationship I’m in with all the Gemini I’m stacking haha!

  57. Someone solid and grounded, yet perfectly willing to allow me to fly without holding me back, but be there just in case I land on my head. Venus in Aries. I prefer tall, strong and long hair (read: rebel). Couldn’t deal with a clinging type, just intensly loyal and honest (Scorp Moon/Rising).

  58. What type of person do I find attractive… Well for me it’s the same in women and in men, but I’ll write as for a man:

    Someone with self-belief, who carries himself with assurance, whose looks may be unconventional but which are attractive – ie not too overweight nor very skinny, someone well proportioned, with an open gaze and decent teeth, and yes if male he must have a good nose! And if a man, not too short or tall. In women, I’m more attracted to dark than blonde, and I don’t like that conventional bland magazine-type looks which blonds often go for – I like a face with some character.

    I don’t mind a bit of weight but sorry anything seriously overweight is very unattractive to me indeed, in either sex. I’ve only got one very overweight friend, and he has a truly brilliant mind! (and a very big bank balance with a heart to match lol). And I really don’t like scruffy at all – that’s a big turnoff for me

    But most importantly, it’s a ‘quality’ or charisma, call it what you will, which attracts me. I like very self-confident verbal people with a good sense of humour, people who are well read and well informed and who can articulate their findings and feelings – and this usually comes across in the way they ‘look’ ie the face they present to the world

    Venus in Cap, Taurus Moon

  59. physically, I am attracted to all types of males. I like smart. A sense of humor is a must. But I won’t have a long term relationship with anyone who isn’t faithful and loving. Venus in aquarius in the 7th house.

  60. Mister Sandman bring me a dream! His Mars must hunt me down and kiss my pretty toes. I don’t have a foot fetish. I have a Must Be Queen of His Fucking World fetish!

  61. Mystery is important, as is confidence. Confidence is sexy and attractive. A smile that comes from within. Not into surface people. Someone who likes themselves without being arrogant about it.

  62. I have venus in virgo in the 12th house. It is kind of difficult to me to really like someone, it just happened twice, the last recently with a guy with venus in aquarius who were not interested in me. I don’t really know why he wanted to keep contact honestly. Maybe to be just one of his list of “friends”. Unfortunatelly most of aquarians tend to trivialize the word “friend” when instead they should use “acquaintance”. Venus in air signs, in general, seems superficial to me. And I’m a libra but most of my chart is in earth element.

  63. Ooh –what a fun subject! I will chime in here.

    If you look at my Venus in isolation, you might think I’m into intellectually stimulating but fleeting and shallow, and maybe even polyamorous flings. Which isn’t the case at all. So you have to look at the whole picture. Personality has always won me over looks. Looks are icing but personality is the cake, the substance, the stuff you’re stuck with when the icing is all licked off the top.

    These are the traits I am attracted to (and after kissing too many frogs, was finally fortunate enough to tie down and marry!)

    Brilliant, funny, ambitious, socially conscious, chivalrous, conservative but powerful in speech and presence, visionary, and independent. And definitely communicative!! Talking is seduction for me.

    The traits(yep, if you combine them up and look at them cohesively, they’re textbook!)

    Venus in Gem (10th, trine Pluto in 3rd)
    Mars in Taurus (10th)
    Juno in Taurus (10th)
    Aquarius on the DC

    (No –I don’t find Geminis as attractive as much I should. Probably not at all. I can’t do flighty people in general, no matter the sign! But I do find non-boring Aqua-Cap types with old-fashioned common sense extremely hot. Maybe it’s all that 10th house action. ?)

  64. I have Venus in Cap in the 12th house. I find polite, low-key guys who are accomplished to the point they don’t need to brag about it very sexy. Ones who have a huge libido carefully restrained beneath a nice pinstripe suit. Think Robert Palmer in the Addicted To Love video, a sexy Capricorn himself. Uh, that’s what I’m TALKIN ’bout! 🙂

    I almost never attract men I’m attracted to when overweight. The slimmer I get, the more I draw men I do feel something for physically. It’s not because I’m more confident, it’s because my body is thinner, period. Losing weight is no guarantee of finding love but for increasing your pool of desirable (to me) dating partners it makes a TREMENDOUS difference.

  65. Venus in virgo in the ninth. I like tall, dark men with beautiful faces. And I like wiry physiques. Thin but with some muscle tone. I know some people don’t have a “type” but that is definetly my type and not much else is nice to look at for me. Beneath the surface I like someone who’s calm and cool but has a commanding presence. I have Mars in scorpio.

    As for beauty being in the eye of the beholder I totally agree. I had a friend tell me one time “men like thin women”. Bullshit. I’ve been up and down with my weight. I attract men at every weight and so did she.
    It’s weird that some people treat it like some kind of contest. The person who is attractive to the most people wins? I’ve gotten caught up in that game in the past thinking that’s what being single and looking for someone was about. I think I was hanging out with insecure people too.

  66. I still have trouble believing this because people tend to reject me within five seconds of looking at me. And I don’t like the type of people who’s flavor of the month I am. Lately only very old men check me out and I’ve seen other women struggle as time goes on. I can’t forget how Glenn once said his taste is Victoria secret models or how people like what they like. I can always tell the best looking person in a room like in that episode of the office Amy Adams guest stars in. Sometimes the fish you reel in aren’t to your taste anyway. Sometimes you feel in no fish. I think looks get you more choices and I want that.

    • Only wayyy older men and people who find my pasty white skin “exotic” are vocally attracted to me. But I’m only interested in men that are around my age and who won’t consider me a “gringa” at first glance. From this group no one has ever called me beautiful, let alone approach me. Every once in a while I have a mutual attraction with someone and I do sense they are slightly interested, but I think they don’t do anything more than that because they’re embarrased. Men make fun of other men with unusual tastes. And I don’t want to be with someone who’ll be ashamed of being seen with me. 🙁

      I have Venus in Libra in the 6th

  67. I have Mars and Venus in Leo conjunct. I find very Mars-y people attractive, and I’m attracted to very Venusian people too. A combo of both? Perfect.

  68. Regardless of how I feel and how certain things aren’t working, I understand the comforting logic of this, that we have the physical cards we are dealt and have to work with them. But I think weight and other stuff do make it harder. That song the oldest baby in the world is searing and depressing. I used to judge women like that. Thinking their fake airiness was a front and everyone could see through it. But, I dunno, I mean crying and being bitter is not helping either.

  69. My Venus is in Cancer. Chart ruler, & aspecting almost everything else in my chart. (It takes me some time to get to know, why I like someone – or something – but, by the time when I do know, they do, too.) Whatever category of liking. (I admire curvy women, in friends. And “curvy,” in character, most of all.. others call those traits, generosity, and thoughtful: well-rounded, mind-wise. A male friend has a curvy mind: one day he said, about not wasting water – here, where water is plentiful – that somewhere, there’s “his brother,” never met, related only through humanity, who must be careful with water, carried home by the women & girls in his family.)
    On the other hand, I most enjoy objects that are simple/plain in design. Or maybe it’s essentially similar. People who are curvaceous, physically and thoughtfully, tend to be streamlined, morally. The ones I notice, anyway. 🙂

  70. PS What attracts me, to friends, is similar to what attracts me romantically. And esthetically. Character, and what one is good at doing. Funny thing, there are often graceful curves involved. 😉

  71. I can’t speak for anyone else, but the heavier I am, the less frequently I find partners that I’m attracted to. In my case, what I weigh makes ALL the difference.

  72. Think of it this way: we all know some really ah…not conventionally attractive folks who have managed to find true love.

    • So true, Jennifer.

      When I was a teenager my English teaching got married. He was, ah…not conventional at all in his appearance, hygiene and character. At all.

      He was happily married and one day I bumped into he and his wife. They were a picture of marital love and bliss. She was very pretty, kind and friendly. And clearly very much in love.

      I learned then that probably everybody, everybody in time will find someone who adores them and finds them attractive just the way they are – no matter their looks or personality or age.

      It was eye-opening. Love is available to all 🙂

      • I have Venus in Aquarius conjunct IC from the 3rd house.

        I find ‘different attractive. I have dated most religions and many ethnicities (I’m dual heritage) – not a conscious choice just that Í like to date ‘different’ and learn things from different cultures/religions in the process (Venus sextile jupiter.)

        I don’t like ‘too eccentric’ (a little here and there is enough – got uranus rising so I am plenty.)

        When people see pictures of my fiance and me they notice how different we look and say it.

        Our composite sun (4th house) conjuncts mercury and sextiles saturn and mars yet it is opposite uranus (10th.) We feel at home together (4th) yet to English society (10th) we are unconventional looking as a pair.

  73. Having mars in gemini, venus in libra and Pisces in descendant, intellectual men were quite attractive….the type that can hold a conversation on their own. But having more intellect often meant that they could be more of an intellectual bullies. I think now that being kind is far more attractive than anything else.

  74. I have Venus Cancer on the 10th squaring Pluto on my first house, as well as trines to my Scorpio moon/Saturn. I find beauty in age gaps, 8-12 years age differences. I’m attracted to hardworking, earthy and motivated types that know how to take care of women and children. I tend to like guys who have a respected reputation in the community. Looks and relationship status do not matter because when my Venus square Pluto gets triggered by undercurrents of dark Scorpio chemistry magic, it’s over. It could be with anyone and anywhere because that aspect is like a forbidden fruit magnet.

  75. I love a man (or friend) with a great sense of humor and willing to have a little fun exploring the world with me. My Venus is in Sag and my husband of 30+ years is a Sag rising… I still giggle like a teenager at his jokes.

  76. With regard to the Beauty and the Beast analogy – I can’t think of circumstances (in the collective unconscious) where the woman has been the ‘beast’ and the man has fallen in love unconditionally regardless of her age/hideousness. This may imply gender bias… I’ve never met a bloke that liked fat ugly birds 😉

  77. Venus in Leo conjunct Mars and Uranus within a 3′ orb in the 6th house. I do fall for coworkers, fellow dog owners and people at the gym or supermarket!. I love confidence, energy and a full heart or at least a sense of humour. Nice hair or clothes do make a difference. I’m very loyal and expect the same.

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