Louise asked on: Plagued By Persistent Inability To Partner: Double Gemini With Venus Stressed
“I’d love to hear more about how to get your head around this. I’m still confused. Is it me? Is it them? Is it both? How do I address this? So, rather than all the drama of the old relationships that compelled me, I can be with a nice man and create the drama somewhere else . . . or not at all! Like with creative projects. Is that it?”
Louise – My idea here is that each of us has specific energy and it’s going to play in our lives one way or other. I contend all energy is neutral until it is directed and if you have a pattern of having difficulty in relationship it’s a safe bet your energy is being directed into your relationships in a way that is destructive.
When someone loves you they can and will process your (negative) energy. But there is only so much a person can take and if you want to improve your relationships it makes sense to manage as much of your stuff as you can and cut the partner and/or the friends, a break.
And this means you have to find outlets for the energy you embody that is challenging. And astrology is a tremendous aid because you can tell with a glance at a chart exactly what the problem is.
So that would be the first step. Who are you? What do you exude? What is ever-present when you’re around?
From there you look for ways to channel this so the whole kit and caboodle does not land on the head of the partner.
Do you know what it is about you that threatens your relationships with others?
Yes, I do. I have a mental list. And that’s a start, I suppose.
I’m not really sure.
Issues people have had with me during relationships (which aren’t so much of issues when I am not) are:
(a) my family, all kinds of a mess there
(b) the fact that I don’t act like a typical woman who loves domesticity
(c) clinginess (though I have been trying on my own to NOT be clingy in the last few years…I suspect I’ll be just as clingy if I ever get involved with someone again, sigh)
Yes, I do. Even knowing so doesn’t make it any easier not to do the next time.
I am never satisfied with the person I’m with. I’m always looking for the next best thing, even if I’m fine with the person I’m with. I either get really obsessed with the person I’m with or I don’t want to be anywhere near them, but continue to date them nonetheless. My emotions blow hot and cold often and it’s extremely noticeable. I also have a tendency to insult those around me, not intentionally of course, but I am tactless with my wording so that has caused my partners to back off. It’s hard for me to seperate envy from love, meaning that I am attracted to people that have things I don’t have or have never had, virtues, personality traits, opportunities, and sometimes even beauty. And so, my obsession ensues, either driving me to break up with the person and continue a relationship based on psychological abuse or treat them unfairly till they go away for good.
I’m starting to learn.
Oh hell yeah. !!
Didn’t used to, tho’. Heh. M’suppose that is the double-edged sword of age: the body goes south, but the wisdom factor finally inches upward…
Lots of Pluto transits help–that tiny guy’ll knock the sense right into you! Er, rather the way getting hit by a semi will teach you to look before crossing 😉
where do i start? ;P
what dogs me is that i am convinced everything will end at some point anyway…i struggle with my lack of staying power when it comes to domesticity.
I’m not really sure, and I’ve mined for input on this. Which might actually be part of the problem. Generally people agree that I seem to be either disinterested or way too intense, and never anywhere down the middle of the road.
Which I think is kind of true. I am somewhat aloof, which you can attribute to capricorn or saturn squaring my sun/mercury or Uranus in scorpio in the 11th. Until I hear/see/feel something interesting I’m willing to let you play and see what you do because if you’re just going to bore me why bother? Then, when I am keenly interested in getting to know someone I get very intent on them, and I have a lot of mercury cnj sun, virgo moon questions, its a bit 3rd degree of everything, and I guess saturn backing the whole thing up makes it extra intimidating.
I guess for ever-present energy it’d be some kind of thinking/judging thing
Yes I know and in my current relationship am being given the space combined with love and support to figure this out. He has his stuff too, but there’s this really strong foundation that seems to be weathering these two hot headed, opinionated, passionate people sorting out their issues together.
Oh yeah: like Foxxy it’s about Saturn and Capricorn restricting my emotional relationships. But I also have a Mars-Neptune opposition which makes daydreaming about someone else soooo appealing…
Thank you for writing this out – makes sense, and was something I was coming to understand as I’ve been contemplating what works and doesn’t work in all my relationships that are friends and family. With them I handle my energy well and we accommodate each other. I plan on applying this knowledge with my next love relationship.
not to be flippant.
aquarius moon is in nice sextile to the aries sun. really helps my relationship with myself (knowing myself) but leads to massive disconnects with others.
i’m liable to just shut down and move on if things go wrong. and not even notice until it comes back to bite me later.
and i don’t know, exactly, what my venus is doing. besides dragging me into messes that force me to figure out what’s really important. i think that’s the saturn aspect. or maybe the pluto. or both.
and ig uess i could go on.
but mostly i think it’s that i don’t connect easily to others. strongly, sometimes, but not easily.
I tend to rescue damaged oddballs n then they get dependent and clingy n sometimes insane n I want my hours I didn’t used to have to account for or explain or not write….and then it’s mutually ex-suck.
Whaddya know I just had to refuse a collect call from “an Ohio correctional institutions” one of the very people I was thinking of when ibposted last night’s reply to this. Food riddance. Another bridge sliders….gonna need some rafts around here.