I have been dating a man for four years now. He has been very supportive of me emotionally at a time when I especially needed someone to make me feel loved and accepted. He is very focused on me, watching me all the time and telling me he wants to take care of me. He sometimes complains that my mood is not what is called for; i.e., I am not romantic enough or focused enough on him. His ultimate ambition is a successful relationship with his woman.
I’ve had the experience of a long-term relationship with a man who was emotionally distant and I was miserable, so I know the value of finding a man who wants to be emotionally close. The problem is finances. He has a good job, but he never has really aspired to anything more than just a job. He also has a lot of debt from his first marriage. I’ve worked hard to gain a post-graduate degree and have taken some risks that have enabled me to make more money.
One of my priorities in a marriage is that we be able to attain an above average standard of living. I fear that I would be settling for something less than that if I were to marry this man. And yet, I know that money does not make happiness.
We are both in our forties and he is a Libra. What do you think?
I think I can make this very simple for you, so I’m going to do that first and then I’m going to make this hard. Here is the simple solution: Leave him! Could you do it? I’m guessin’ you’d be cryin’ for this guy within a week and crying even harder six months down the road.
Because you’ve had four years with this guy, and you aren’t complaining about all kinds of things. Things like sexual incompatibility. Things like “He cheated on me”. Things like “This guy is a bore!”
And if you have forgotten how fortunate your situation on all these other fronts, I imagine you’d be reminded within minutes of hitting Match.com. Yes the new bastard may be rich, but he may also be arrogant, boring, insufferable and ugly!! ::smiles:: But let me hit up the astrology, okay?
You have Venus (love and money) in the 8th house and I think it would behoove you to become more sophisticated about currency in various forms.
Money is not the only form of ‘currency”. Emotional support is also currency. Friendship is currency. For example, if I am strung out crying, a person’s ability to buy me lunch is not going to be all that valuable. A sensitive friend however – someone who would know what to say and how to say it – would be priceless.
With Venus in the 8th house, sex is also currency. For example, if I don’t have sex, all hell breaks loose. I’m serious. I start climbing the walls. So the man who is able to intuit this and keep that monkey off my back… well can you see how this would be more valuable than having some guy pay my rent?
“Here’s your check, Elsa.”
“My check? Where’s my dick?”
I think it would be good for you to start thinking along these lines. Because if you’ve got a man who knows how to talk to you, how to put hands on you, etc… well he’s loaded for bear as far as “resources” goes. And I suspect this is part of the reason this guy is in your life. To teach you that love is ENERGY and it comes in many forms.
Cash is just one form of energy, and it’s a common one at that. And if you can come to understand this, you may realize you’re getting the deal of the century with this guy. Good luck.
Venus in the 8th here too. I would so much rather have good sex than a lot of money.
Good sex and a guy I could stand to be around for four years? No way I would let that go!
I also have venus in 8th house scorpio along with mars and mercury. Is this the rwason for my head being thinking of sexual activity all the time and yes this is like a healing for me. But still not finding a compatible partner who can sense my intensity.
Really, good sex is the best kind of currency! Very rich, very rich, indeed! And it is so hard to find, especially when you need to feel safe and loved in order to experience it. Truly, there are just some things that money cannot buy. Good luck, Venus!
Venus in the 8th house here, too, though barely. I always say that I turn into a real bitch if I don’t get laid regularly! *lol*
Elsa, thanks. You are right about many things. I have learned my own contours as a woman with this man. And thank you also, kind readers. I’ll take your words to heart.
I have Venus in the Eighth House and have lost a really, really good man, because i was bored and wanted to experience life!….i overcame that life-altering experience and now have met another man who who do anything for me!…The sex is also awesome. Money cannot buy the security i receive from him emotionally, sexually and physically.
Love and money is synonymous with each other. Love conquers all that means it includes money. Money by itself could be mundane, it does not paint well with its true concept. The saying “Success is meaningless without someone sharing it with you” is also true to love and money. Even in the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill he mentioned that the communion of two sexes could produce great amount of success and wealth this can be attributed to the royal blood,kingdoms and rulings of Great Britain. The mention of Venus who is the Godest of Love on the eigth house reminds me of Virgil’s metaphysic’s and empirical science when he said heaven is made up of thirty six floors. You may land in heaven but the ecstacy defends on the floor where you will be assigned to. Landing on the thirty sixth floor of heaven according to Virgil would suffice the supreme bliss that one could attain and feel. Love just like money is but an energy that is why it is not surprising that an ardent lover would promise heaven and earth to a lass just to win her heart. This is the same tenacity that businessmen exert in the world today, they will do everything to make their business succeed and grow just to earn the seven digits in their bank accounts. Money just like love knows no language or creed and nationality. When you love somebody you do not discriminate which is similar to money. There is even a formula in business which recants that for one to be successful in business and earn lots of money he must find a job or a business which he loves to do and work becomes pleasure and then money will just come naturally. Love by itself would mean having an emotional relationship with another person and for one to attain good and smooth relationship with another we must be reminded with one of the ten commandments of love that is never to hurt the ego of our love ones and your relationship will go a long way in life. Mixing love and money would mean the optimization of the labor of love and the desire to earn millions of doughs. I believe that love is the essence of wealth and it is the great elixir why men attain and accumulate crunches and wads of money. Without love it means dismal performance and null profits.
So glad someone else asked this question so I didn’t have to :huge grin:
Elsa, I don’t know if you even know how awesome this is. I LOVE your take on currencies. It is ESSENTIAL to understand this idea in order to have a happy relationship.
Honestly, I wish you’d write an astrology book based wholly on this concept. You are the one to write it, relationship books are always popular, and I have a good sense about these things. I am not kidding. Plus I’d love to see you materially rich, along with everything else. 🙂
perfectly answered and i’m with pixie — would love to see the universe shower Elsa with material success 😉
“With Venus in the 8th house, sex is also currency. For example, if I don’t have sex, all hell breaks loose. I’m serious. I start climbing the walls. So the man who is able to intuit this and keep that monkey off my back… well can you see how this would be more valuable than having some guy pay my rent?”
Oh god, THIS. 8th house Aries Sun, Merc, Venus. Thank god my husband knows and accepts this.
How do you reconcile a need for sex with a need for love? I mean, what if love is not coming along yet you’re going crazy waiting for physical affection? I always get attached, so I have to avoid it, sometimes for a year at a time. Sigh.
“My check? Where’s my dick?”
Elsa, you rock.
Kash, if a guy is nice enough I might sleep with him before I love him, see if I like him better afterward. lol
I did this with my husband… He’s a NICE guy, and we got along well and all that, but he looked so straight-laced and nice-guy-ish that I wasn’t sure… Fell MADLY in love with him after a few months of conversation and nookie and never let him go. 😉
I have also Venus and Pluto in Eighth house (Scp) …
But personally i would never choose money ! I just use them because its neccesary! Nothing more and nothing less! Dont you know that money is a curse? They just come and go all the time and they are never actually yours:P But your man is going to be next to you forever!
8th house; Its the need for emotional security!
Usually this feeling of security can be achived by having power and influence over people, through financial dealings. People tend to seek this security in power, sex and material values.
For me ..its more… the need for security usually through merging with other people
”A real feeling of emotional and soul security can only exist when the tumultuous emotional conflicts always symbolied with this house begin to subside.
The occult studies associated with this house are primarily usuful as a means of attaining inner peace through klowledge of the deepest laws of life.
This house symbolies the desire for a state of EMOTIONAL PEACE which can be arrived at only by growing FREE from desires and compulsive willfulness. ”
what the HELL are you complaining about?
lucky, lucky, lucky!
i have venus in the 8th house too.
i’d kill to have what you do.