Loss Of Confidence

With all the change in the air, this seems worth a second look. If you couldn’t move on it last time, maybe this time it will be different…

I’m realizing lately, people no longer believe in themselves. They don’t think they can solve their problems, meet their goals or realize their dreams. To verify this, I asked in the forum – Do You Feel You Can Do What You Set Out To Do?  Sure enough, people weighed in, stating they were not at all confident.

This got me thinking about why people are so down. Who or what robbed us (as a collective) or our confidence in ourselves and faith in others, for that matter. It’s pisses me off, to tell the truth.

I’m naturally counter-culture.  When I realized this, I decided immediately to go against the trend. I am so sick of, “I can’t.”  Can’t? Or won’t? Can’t? Or don’t want to?

I am not talking about paralyzed people being able to get up and walk. But jeez louise we have so many non-disabled disabled people it’s a joke.  It’s Saturn Neptune, see?  If’s as if the masses have had their tires deflated, beneath them. I don’t think they realize with a little air, they could be back on the road.

Personally, I’ve had enough of this. I think the idea a person cannot succeed is a lie.  If you get yourself going towards a righteous goal; and if you’re willing to put in the time and effort, I think the universe will support you.

Have you lost confidence? More importantly, can you get it back?

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Loss Of Confidence — 68 Comments

  1. You’re awesome! I am dejected by the way. I’m not exactly confident and yet I am moving on faith and pure determination. I am trying; if that’s the best I can do right now then that’s the best I can do until I hit a clearing. Both Saturn and Neptune are on my moon by transit.

    • Yea, I was thinking about this earlier on my way to work. Where did I go “wrong?” I have come to some conclusions about the root. Short answer is yes you can get it back. It’s like retracing your steps; re accessing muscle memory. A task. I’ve only had the smallest morsel of fire and without anything else, I’ve clung to that tiny smidgen of hope not knowing if a fire would ever return. But I realize that little ember can be sparked once more. As long as you have it. You have to hold on to it. Then find your way back. Remember.

  2. Thanks for this. I have to learn how to kick my own ass and be the head motherfucker in charge of my life. This semester I devoted too much time and energy to a man. This has been a theme in my life. There was mutual exchange. I don’t feel cheated. I’m in a tight spot right now and only have myself to blame. I have a few days (until Monday) to pull off a minor miracle. I keep thinking of that scene in “An Officer And A Gentleman” when Mayo gives up the glory of winning the highest record for the obstacle course to help Seeger “walk the wall.” God I love that scene. I could feel sorry for myself and say “fuck it” and stay on disability for the rest of my life, depend on family and what ever man I find who will put up with my crybaby bullshit. Or I can walk the fucking wall and fly jets. I want to fly.

  3. Sometimes I fall into loss of confidence because society and the media are full of poisonous attitudes and ideals. But it’s not how I’m meant to be, I have too much Leo in my chart. Whenever I go after a specific goal with commitment, I do feel very capable of achieving it.

  4. I think a lot of this has to do with Saturn transiting through Jupiter’s sign….it’s putting a brake on optimism. It’s just come off an opposition to my Sun so I’m feeling it particularly.

  5. Since I was born while Uranus and Pluto were conjunct (1963), I think it may have to do with Uranus square Pluto, and perhaps with Pluto opposing the U.S. Sun. I recall in the 1970’s and even a bit into the early 1980’s, junior colleges offered quality work study programs where you could graduate with a vocational degree and no student loan bill to pay off. The government saw it as a win win because employed people bought homes and contributed to the tax base. Government paying a small tuition bill to a junior college seemed like a small price to pay in return for a gainfully employed adult. What I do not understand is the people who benefited from such programs insist on kicking the ladder out and not allowing anyone else to do so. Paul Ryan is an excellent example of this. Immigration was easier as well, look at Ted Cruz. His father received asylum but he does not think anyone else should benefit. Also, look at the rise of mega churches. Tax exempt pastors live in mega oligarchy, preach hatred of fellow man and encourage division within our nation. People who hold government office obey these tax exempt organizations and condemn taxpayers. Money is worshiped as a God and those who do not have it are ignored and condemned. When I was little, most every home had a stay at home wife and a husband who worked at some mediocre job but could still afford a roof over the head and family time.

    Ironically, it was the great depression that brought about social security, Federal Home Loans and New Deal Job Corps programs as a safety net that saved people and brought about prosperity. There are so many in government today that will tell you those programs were worthless and unimportant. Why would someone tell such a horrible lie?

    When we are led as a nation by such wicked heartless souls who hate taxpayers and worship wealth, our nation suffers and people feel hopeless and helpless to do anything about it. A fear based response is to irresponsibly breed too many children ( think about third world nations and the U.S. before 1900) and to abuse alcohol, drugs or to even hoard food and become a compulsive eater. These are all human responses to hopelessness. It does not make sense, but it is a reaction nonetheless. Sort of like when someone in extreme poverty is given something valuable like a nice building, and they set out to deface and destroy it. It is a psychological reaction based on extremely low self esteem and self hatred. Only when mankind has control over their surroundings and a sense of ownership (skin in the game) do they learn self respect and respecting the rights of others. When mankind is taught survival is every man for themselves and the rest be damned, chaos ensues and hopeless depravity ensues.

    It’s funny, but if the government used reverse psychology and encouraged citizens to act as a collective and build up their own foundations without facing constant discouragement, our economy and overall outlook would improve. If individuals were given similar liberties and opportunities that corporations receive, it would be alot easier for people to invest in themselves and their communities. A person cannot compete with a corporation or a monopoly, and that is why hopelessness and despair are so prevalent. Uranus in Aries (collective) square Pluto in Capricorn (unyielding bureaucracy).

  6. i have pluto transiting my 12th house through 2021… your posts about your own experiences with this have been really comforting and helpful to me! i’m finding myself really making a huge effort focus my energy on things i CAN control… but im finding myself really pessimistic about other areas (esp love/relationships) that keep failing despite my best efforts. but i’m trying to do the work! <3

    • This seems like a perspective thing to me. You think you’re failing, but have you considered the possibility, you’re barking up the wrong tree? That the relationships fail for your own good?

      This may be worth thinking about.

  7. It’s interesting that you see this in the collective elsa. I feel beaten down. But life has always been challenging for me and I’ve always had a positive attitude until recently. I think I must be picking up on something deeper. I have neptune in the 12th.

    I Have to disagree though that the universe always helps those that help themselves. I want to believe it but I haven’t seen it consistently enough to believe that it’s a law of the universe. Maybe I haven’t lived long enough to see it on a large scale. I’m sure if you step far enough away from it and look broadly enough it’s true. I want to believe that.

    Either way I’m always going to strive. Always. What else do I have to do here in life? So that’s the principle I live by. I just don’t always do it joyfully. Now I have noticed that joy tends to heighten the potency of my efforts.

    • I stopped striving since I wrote this and honestly it was the best thing I ever did. Its a fundamental change in energy for me. I dont have confidence in myself. When I did, I was playing with an illusion. Now, I have confidence in Life. Such a freer way to be.
      Not judging those that do strive, but at some point for me, I asked, “what am I striving for? Isnt everything here temporal? And therfor isnt the loss, implied in the gain?” Now I feel like Life moves Through me and impels me as opposed to Life being something I had to conquer. Even if the conquering of “problems” happens, its a result of my faith and openness as opposed to some kind of battle.

  8. This is a great post, thanks for it, Elsa!

    I’ve always wrestled. I have Pluto in the 12th, and a lot of water — too sensitive sometimes, confidence in some areas, but with yods (2!), have had a big lack of confidence in others.

    This morning, I woke up thinking, “I’m so tired of struggling.” Need a break and more. And as I’ve, for a while, anticipated this Saturn/Neptune square coming into formation with my Pluto opp. Chiron for a T-square (exact tomorrow!), I’m trying to see this aspect as grounding and good.

    Of course, I feared it way in advance, worrying all kinds of shit would happen. But it hasn’t. So I’m flipping it over to try to be positive — this could be the kick in the ass I’ve needed. This could be *grounding* for my Pisces Chiron opposing 12th house Pluto, right? This could be (yet another) kick in the ass I’ve needed…

    I also really enjoyed the forum post, Elsa! Very timely. I do also think, for Americans, that some of this is indeed a sense of upcoming “Where The Fuck Do We Go From Here With This Broken System?”, and that this could fuel the fire for our collective Pluto return in 2020-ish.

  9. SO many people have reached out to me telling me how lost and sad they feel … I was feeling that way big time until I reached out to someone with a lot of wisdom and logic that helped put things into perspective for me.

  10. I have zero optimism. It feels like all of the life has been sucked out of me and I almost have no will to live. Transiting Saturn is on my natal Uranus/Jupiter conjunction. Everything is so grey…so meaningless. I can only muster a few minutes of perspective a day and I try to hang on to it for as long as possible, but I end up going to bed and waking up in the morning asking myself what is this all for. Thats all. Thank God this is just a transit.

  11. So much truth, it hits me straight in the gut. You’re damn right, Elsa. I think it’s optimism based on realism…. I think the Neptune Saturn opposition from way back taught me that things may seem effed up, or you may feel like piece of crap, but get up from the ground anyway. Try with all your might and heart. If it didn’t happen, it’s okay. Messing up is okay. Try again tomorrow. That might actually be more realistic than accepting defeat.

    Also, just because a person or a group of people keep repeating how shitty you are, (or how smart and perfect you are haha), doesn’t mean that is true. They are spouting their own opinion, and the mob is not always right. Take what is helpful, let go of the rest.

    So I’m trying to remember these lessons from when I first started reading your blog Elsa 🙂 Thank you.

    • Or maybe the person is already doing it. Life happens while you are making other plans is the adage I believe. Elsa winces. Friggin adages. : D

      Oh, and you are right, you can’t listen to the naysayers. You know what is right for you. They are no help at all.

  12. Iam convinced that when we define ourselves by our wounds, we burden and lose our physical and spiritual energy and open ourselves to to the risk of illness. people have been anastesiated, hypnotized, they have run away from their minds and do not wish to recognize their own conscience, emotionaly dehydrated, mentaly castrated. they dont listen to their own heart, are afraid of everything. and for that we can thank our media and government

  13. I don’t think confidence is always just *bling!* there it is, without effort. Sure, I see people who are confident. Or maybe they just appear confident. At any rate, sometimes you really do have to “fake it til you make it”. Sometimes confidence is really HARD! You get pounded, you get back up, you get pounded, you pout and lick your wounds, ask how bad you want it, find another angle, get back up again. Screw lack of confidence. Grab its balls and twist ’em hard.

  14. Could it be more to do with uncertainty/not-knowing what they want? That’s more often my problem; I have pretty solid faith that I can achieve goals, so long as I can pin them down and set them.

    Are we living in more “uncertain” times? The world seems to be becoming more and more complicated, so that it can be harder to see what course to take without going wrong. Will the economy go bad? Will the environment keep getting worse and worse? Am I contributing to that with my actions? Will my goals be relevant tomorrow (in the future)? What will everyone think of me if I _____(since we’re so plugged in to social media)? Is it even safe out there? These are just some of the anxieties that seem to be very present in many people’s lives right now.

    I admit I do not always know with certainty what I want to do with my life, and that can hinder progress. But make no mistake: I AM working on it, I WANT to succeed, and I BELIEVE it is possible.

    • Yes it could be that. I’ve had that feeling for some time, but realized today, when I wrote this, that I am not actually disabled by these conditions. The thwarting is a mirage. I can still love in this world in whatever way I please.

    • Gave this some thought. And I do think knowing that I want it is necessary. Sometimes I just said yes to the call when it came. And then also I need to be involved in it. Visualize it or I can’t make it happen. Wishing is powerful but the wish can happen with unintended not so good consequences. I need to be there with it all the way.

  15. I am forever surrounded by confident people. Moon sextile jupiter? I dunno. It’s hard for me to understand what lack of confidence is. I go into situations and I dunno if I’ll be successful or not. Check it out. Give it a try. I am always compelled to make a go of it. I can’t let ‘the world’, whatever the heck that is, get in the way. And I do promote wild life and nature and tread lightly on the planet. It’s integrated into my lifestyle. There’s only so much I can do. Like my part.

    I think setting goals, no matter how small or unimpressive, and then completing them is a great confidence builder. I added that to my journalling in the last year or so. A list and check marks. Mundane stuff, but it works.

    What is success? What is the measure of success? Am I happy with what I am doing? Am I happy with my relationships with people? Am I a little ahead of maintaining my lifestyle?

    I’ve made it through the worst of times, personally. And I ain’t goin back there. Now I’ve got some ends to tie up. I have an inkling there is a new phase just around the corner. I don’t know that I have a choice in this. I just have to do what feels right for me. And that could all change tomorrow. What good would lack of confidence do? I just have to do it.

  16. I feel like I’m stymied at every turn. People who I used to think were competent drop the ball and drop the ball again. I search for replacements, and they’re in and out for communication, I search for other replacements. Efforts expended result in such a small return I wonder why I’m putting that energy out into the world, what I’m doing wrong. It does not help that I’m in a situation where all professional advice said “throw in the towel” except the consequences to family are awful and so I’m trying to pull them out of the black hole and it’s taking a toll, a huge, amazing toll on my marriage, health, friendships etc.

    Some days I sit down and am amazed at the things I’ve done in the last year – nothing short of working small miracles if I write it out objectively. But it hasn’t solved the overarching problem and with so many people flaking out or letting me down I begin to wonder why, how, etc. etc.

    The best analogy is that I’ve been reading and asking for advice and getting my “chops” while also trying to put out fires, small and large and someone over there is shooting at me, the firehose stops working from time to time, the backup equipment arrived but arrived broken, etc. etc. I’m kind of burnt out. I think I need some time off to “re-inflate my tires” but I don’t see that as an option because I go from dealing with that to dealing with a major family health issue in my “time-off” over the holidays. So no really downtime. No time to heal some of the wounds in my life so I’m full-strength.

    On some level the flakiness of others means I get no traction and that is probably one of the most demoralizing things I’ve had to deal with. Traction gives me energy to keep moving. No traction… well, that’s pretty depressing.

  17. I’m amazed that there are confident people who can predict their own behavior and plan what they do. I was never like this and find them intimidating and can’t connect. I come from a modest family too

  18. isn’t this a fixed versus mutable issue, maybe correlated with the briggs-meyers continuum that has judging and perceiving at opposite ends of the same spectrum? just different ways of being in the world; ways of operating in relationship the supposedly material other. maybe lately we’re all just collectively living a diaphanous neptune in pisces dream.

  19. People used to say ‘you can’t have it all’ but these days I look around and I see that having it all it’s possible. Some have it all and some have nothing at all. Some people’s total comfort has triggered an imbalance. The Universe looks picky and elitist to me.
    When some people DIDN’T have it all there was room to partake. As long as no one singular person ate the whole pie, we could all share a slice.
    I notice this around me: acquaintances with family, career and health, others with leftovers. And please don’t tell me the latter don’t put in the work because they do and that’s why they are still alive, otherwise they would be dead.
    And in the public space I look at personalities, big stars like Adele or Jennifer Lawrence. I like them both, they should be successful, but what justifies their ABSOLUTE success, domination on all fronts at such young ages? Has it happened before? Michael Jackson payed his dues, I don’t remember of such an explosion. The Universe definitely has its favorites and it was like this before, but today things are extreme. The favorites are rewarded with Absolute success, leaving very little for others.
    An extremist Universe.

  20. I seem to have bucked this so far, after around 5 years of taking crap, feeling put upon at work, redundancy and 4 job changes, bereavement and illness, I seem to have emerged! I hope not another false start, I don’t believe so. Started my dream job although it’s far less money, getting my old band back together and working with nice people.
    My husband is a year younger and seemingly echoing my bad times, thankfully I can now support him and lots of others going through it. I refer to it like being in a bubble – I’m chipper and enjoying life since the Sat / Jupiter changes. There is hope!

  21. i have days of loss of confidence, and i didnt pay attention to the transits but it’s when i didnt get enough sleep and i overwork myself doing everything for everyone. it tires me out so much and i desperately need to recharge. I recharged and felt better yesterday though.

  22. We had a big windstorm here the day after my birthday mid-November. Up-ended me personally, and the collective as well. This is a muddled ramble, but about what is lost, or just always there and won’t be defined too small…
    Hundred foot trees toppled near-by by not on us. We live in the woods, so there’s the choice aspect of this storm experience. To get out of the woods we had to get help: someone who had a chain saw and someone who would help. That someone with the chain saw is a neighbor who on most days and nights causes me such distress because of the choices he makes. Together that neighbor and my husband cut the hundred and fifty foot Pine, broke his chain saw and our metal o’o (digging stick). “I want the wood!” The neighbor said to my husband.
    This is a long and riddle sort of story to describe the up-ended-ness of my confidence. I don’t understand who solid ground is … and my Capricorn Moon needs that! So sorry confidence is a flowing thing says Pluto as it transits my 12th House Capricorn Moon. Confidence is a flowing thing, in that river is something valuable no matter what. BUT if you try to capture that something, but it in a bucket and carry it away with you. GUESS WHAT? It’s not a river any more.

  23. I think people are stuck between the idea that the full on American dream of being a super millionaire is the only worthy goal, and the reality that it’s just not going to happen for most people.

    Also, people were hit hard with the recession. They saw everyone around them fail. When you have never seen lasting success, it seems like a TV fantasy, not like reality.

    And even people who have success in some areas of life don’t always have everything.

    I honestly don’t know. I might achieve my goals, but I might get cancer and die early like my mom and grandmother. I don’t know. I guess I beleive that if my goals fail it won’t be because I gave up, so is that lack of self confidence? Or lack of confidence in the ladder that I’m supposed to be climbing to success.

  24. Saturn in Jupiter’s sign and Jupiter is in detriment in Virgo. Jupiter is Pisces traditional ruler. So we have a Sag Saturn ruled by a debilitated Jupiter, square a Pisces Neptune. Seems bleak as bleak can be…doesn’t mean there isn’t something to learn from it though.

      • It’s just how I feel. I believe there’s good to come it, of course. I know the Universe is benevolent and nothing is negative about it in itself. It’s just my reaction to it at the moment. It actually changes often…these mutable signs are all over the place.

        • In a weird way, Im grateful for it. It’s actually quite humbling…so what, I’m in a weak position. We fall and we have to get back up. I am humbled to the core.

          • I agree. And it is perspective. People think, why me? But really, why not you?

            I think about history or even current times. I’m not scrounging all day for one kernel of corn, dodging missiles, invaders, times where your best day was to wake up without the plague…I’m pretty lucky.
            So you work hard and you’re not a millionaire. Or you are. What does confidence have to do with all that? It’s knowing you try your best and being really disgusted when someone tells you otherwise. And it’s perspective. I need to remind myself of that, too. I’m moon trine Jupiter tho so I’m kind of bouncy dopey rose-colored glasses.

  25. Hey! I’m confident. I’m empowered. I know I will accomplish what I set out to do.
    I also believe by putting in the time and effort, the Universe will support me, and is supporting me.
    Uranus is headed for my Midheaven, and very soon, Saturn will be supporting my moon as a trine. Dig it, reap it!

  26. This is so true for me right now. And why wouldn’t that be, if you see important stuff(and people) in your life, just gone. I mean, its natural to ask ‘why me?’ When I see other people with the same problem as mine, are suffering little loss. Won’t that undermine a person’s confidence even by a teeny tiny amount?

  27. Thoughts are things, what do YOU want to manifest? Well, start thinking THAT way! Easy, not simple, but that’s where it begins. Negative thoughts create negativity…you know how this goes!

  28. The social media has made the world smaller but likelier for many. Alone on the phone with 500 “friends” you never met and a mile away your touchstone friends n family acquiesce s into a quick text chat instead of tea or a walk together. The pre internet born homesick for a world that’ll never change back but spoiled by the instant gratification of virtual life. Google whatever we used to go to libraries to learn about. I just turned 40 Nov 20 I’m kinda like who’s shit is real….

  29. Peoples’ dreams (Neptune) have gotten broadsided (square) by reality (Saturn); the structures (Saturn) we believed in (Sagittarius) have turned out to be illusions, or outright deceptions (Neptune). Pisces is the sign on my midheaven/10th cusp natally, and 6th house by sun sign. My career and my daily routines have changed tremendously over the past several years. I’ve always worked and made my own money, and done well, until Summer 2010. I moved, made a necessary and major life change, and left behind a great job. I’ve struggled to find good work since then. From 2011-2013, I had a job that showed me the dark side of corporatism. I had to quit eventually for the sake my own mental health. Since then, I’ve had an incredible amount of trouble figuring out what to do for work/ career. Neptune is casting a complete fog around these two houses in my chart. This is a long transit… (sigh). My hubby has been nothing but kind and encouraging about me quitting the horrible job, and not being able to find another job (at all) since then. We did downsize to accommodate the “missing” salary, and that’s worked out great for us; but the confusion in my mind about what I “should” be doing, work/career/daily routines-wise is not comfortable for me, not at all. I can’t seem to find a direction forward from housewife, related to this 6th/10th Neptune stuff.

  30. i think we’ve become too dependent on someone else telling us when we can do something. too much spoonfed learning and not enough self directed learning. we expected to be handed our textbooks and worksheets and freak out when something pops up that’s not already a part of our formulas…

  31. No, I haven’t lost confidence in my ability to get things done…But I have become extremely cynical and negative about the ability of America to even recognize that things need to be done, let alone do them. There is nothing but obstruction from the various lobbies for any reform of the many disfunctional policies we see at all levels…

  32. I am confident about my capabilities, after 7 months of strength training, climbing the toughest trail in Maryland, being two steps away from black belt, and surviving my Saturn Return. However, I am clueless and lost regarding career path (where am I qualified? where can I be my best self?), and making an effort to use the upcoming transits to gain clarity (Mars retrograde in Scorpio in 2016 helped me a lot, and Jupiter in Virgo at the time too, even with my Saturn return). A job in my field of study wasn’t right for me, even a short-term filler job wasn’t right for me…I think I may have found an answer through hospital or school security work, we’ll see the results of two job applications (one I sent, one not yet). Today I had to get past my Moon square North Node (I’ll have to keep asserting myself in conversations with my mother, and checking that what I’m doing is right for me) to assert what I think I need in a career, my intensity definitely needs an outlet. If I’ve tried stuff that was relatively relaxed and stable, it didn’t work, I looked too intense or stiff, or I got bored. If it was a challenge I couldn’t keep up with, I failed. Let’s see if there is a challenge I can succeed at and feel fulfilled…

  33. I thought it was just me….that I was out here by myself. Been here before but I was a young adult (so I could do anything). Keep communicating, everyone. It ALL helps..! <3

  34. Hah, I’ve never had confidence in the first place! There are things I want to do but nobody I know knows how to do them and nobody can help me and I have no idea how to do them. Is that a “loss of confidence” or is it just “I can’t do it if I literally have no plan, conception, or help to do it? If I’m working blind with no clue, why should I be confident? Why should I think I can? I’ve done “life coaching” and other stuff like that, but in the end I gotta do it and if I can’t figure it out by myself (and I still can’t find a way to do my goals), then…nope.

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