Can You Overcome An Abusive Childhood?

toy train When a parent abuses a child, it’s as if he or she sets them on a track like a train.  If that train does not work to jump that track, that’s it. It will run on that track for an entire lifetime.  Like this…

Your dad tells you that you’re ugly and worthless. You think you’re ugly and worthless. You continue to think it and have it impact you, on and on and on for the rest of your life.

I was pissed off when I realized this. There was no way I was going to let an abusive parent own my life in that way so I jumped the track. It was a choice!

Also, it’s one thing to jump the track and go your own way – the way of your choosing. That’s good, but there’s more to do. To totally recover and thrive in your life, you have to figure out what you were truly designed to do, before someone decided to interfere and subvert you on your natural path for their selfish agenda.  This is not the easiest thing to do!

I’am talking about the difference between doing what you want to do, your own way, as opposed to excavating what you were truly meant to do.

  • In one case, the train jumps the track, breathes a sigh of relief and runs off where it pleases.
  • In the other case, the train jumps the track, breathes a sigh of relief and then takes the time to try to understand what they truly designed for, from a universal perspective

I exercised that first option… and then I exercised the next.

I considered how my life was meant to unfold, and how it  might have unfolded, had someone not chosen to stick their foot in my path, thwart me and have me fall flat on my face. Working on this has changed my life from good to great.

I’ve also come to loathe anyone who disrupts or hijacks the life a child. I think it’s one of the worst things a person could ever do as the negative effects radiate out and touch many.

As an example, I was meant to marry my husband when we met as teenagers. When someone decided to get in there and derail my life, it impacted my life and his and so on an on.  Many people were affected.

Some don’t believe what goes around, comes around. They don’t believe in comeuppance of any kind. If you’re jacking up a kid’s life at this time, you better hope you’re right. Because it’s no small crime, that’s for sure.

Were you taken off track by an abusive parent? Where are you in your recovery?

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Comments

Can You Overcome An Abusive Childhood? — 83 Comments

  1. Yes, I was, and to great detriment to my soul and most of my life. I decided very early on to jump the tracks to a different path but it took me until my 40th bday, and the change that Uranus transits brought for me, to truly break open the box where all of that trauma and conditioning lived. My childhood trauma didn’t just affect my life either. It affected the lives of my first husband, and his family. It has affected the life of my husband now as he has been with me on this path and watched me struggle, break open, and begin to stitch myself back together again in the form of my own choosing. It has affected the lives of many in between. It has been a life blessed with a lot of amazing experiences, but it’s also been exceedingly difficult at times and I wasn’t given to tools as a child to cope with that in a healthy way. I’ve had to throw all my old tools out (but first I had to identify them!) and rebuild new ones that support a healthier me. Do I have regrets? Sure I do. I wish like hell that I had known how to have a relationship without co-dependency before I started having serious relationships with men. Therapy has been a godsend. I don’t know where I would be without my therapist. The knowledge and understanding I now have of living with CPTSD, and being able to name it, has helped me to be able to stop so many of these awful cycles in my life. I’m 44 now. For 40 years I lived with an abusive parent’s conditioning in my head, directing almost every aspect of my life despite me consciously trying to separate myself from him. There are days I can sit in forgiveness for the tools he didn’t have either, or the inner child that needed so badly to control everyone around him in order to feel safe. I can fully sit there some days. Other days, well… on the harder days I’ve wished him dead.

  2. Yes Choo choo,the train rolls on but boy oh boy does that whistle sound so mighty different when the conductor changes shifts,yep put your cowboy hat on( most of them have a pretty good two step, hiding)
    The day changes ,perspective changes each moment ,only only only
    Think of How can I enjoy me in this day,and one beautiful day you’ll see
    Anyone who didn’t see your
    Shiny little soul,missed out,Boom! Now wrap those arms around you and truly
    Say loud ”Thank you God,I am Alive”and about all that has passed?
    It’s Gone,flush that shit away oh
    Choo chee can sing and two step tap and spin?try today on, I promise it
    Will fit,and it’s sweater weather?

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