Can You Overcome An Abusive Childhood?

toy train When a parent abuses a child, it’s as if he or she sets them on a track like a train.  If that train does not work to jump that track, that’s it. It will run on that track for an entire lifetime.  Like this…

Your dad tells you that you’re ugly and worthless. You think you’re ugly and worthless. You continue to think it and have it impact you, on and on and on for the rest of your life.

I was pissed off when I realized this. There was no way I was going to let an abusive parent own my life in that way so I jumped the track. It was a choice!

Also, it’s one thing to jump the track and go your own way – the way of your choosing. That’s good, but there’s more to do. To totally recover and thrive in your life, you have to figure out what you were truly designed to do, before someone decided to interfere and subvert you on your natural path for their selfish agenda.  This is not the easiest thing to do!

I’am talking about the difference between doing what you want to do, your own way, as opposed to excavating what you were truly meant to do.

  • In one case, the train jumps the track, breathes a sigh of relief and runs off where it pleases.
  • In the other case, the train jumps the track, breathes a sigh of relief and then takes the time to try to understand what they truly designed for, from a universal perspective

I exercised that first option… and then I exercised the next.

I considered how my life was meant to unfold, and how it  might have unfolded, had someone not chosen to stick their foot in my path, thwart me and have me fall flat on my face. Working on this has changed my life from good to great.

I’ve also come to loathe anyone who disrupts or hijacks the life a child. I think it’s one of the worst things a person could ever do as the negative effects radiate out and touch many.

As an example, I was meant to marry my husband when we met as teenagers. When someone decided to get in there and derail my life, it impacted my life and his and so on an on.  Many people were affected.

Some don’t believe what goes around, comes around. They don’t believe in comeuppance of any kind. If you’re jacking up a kid’s life at this time, you better hope you’re right. Because it’s no small crime, that’s for sure.

Were you taken off track by an abusive parent? Where are you in your recovery?


Comments

Can You Overcome An Abusive Childhood? — 88 Comments

  1. Yes, I was, and to great detriment to my soul and most of my life. I decided very early on to jump the tracks to a different path but it took me until my 40th bday, and the change that Uranus transits brought for me, to truly break open the box where all of that trauma and conditioning lived. My childhood trauma didn’t just affect my life either. It affected the lives of my first husband, and his family. It has affected the life of my husband now as he has been with me on this path and watched me struggle, break open, and begin to stitch myself back together again in the form of my own choosing. It has affected the lives of many in between. It has been a life blessed with a lot of amazing experiences, but it’s also been exceedingly difficult at times and I wasn’t given to tools as a child to cope with that in a healthy way. I’ve had to throw all my old tools out (but first I had to identify them!) and rebuild new ones that support a healthier me. Do I have regrets? Sure I do. I wish like hell that I had known how to have a relationship without co-dependency before I started having serious relationships with men. Therapy has been a godsend. I don’t know where I would be without my therapist. The knowledge and understanding I now have of living with CPTSD, and being able to name it, has helped me to be able to stop so many of these awful cycles in my life. I’m 44 now. For 40 years I lived with an abusive parent’s conditioning in my head, directing almost every aspect of my life despite me consciously trying to separate myself from him. There are days I can sit in forgiveness for the tools he didn’t have either, or the inner child that needed so badly to control everyone around him in order to feel safe. I can fully sit there some days. Other days, well… on the harder days I’ve wished him dead.

  2. Yes Choo choo,the train rolls on but boy oh boy does that whistle sound so mighty different when the conductor changes shifts,yep put your cowboy hat on( most of them have a pretty good two step, hiding)
    The day changes ,perspective changes each moment ,only only only
    Think of How can I enjoy me in this day,and one beautiful day you’ll see
    Anyone who didn’t see your
    Shiny little soul,missed out,Boom! Now wrap those arms around you and truly
    Say loud ”Thank you God,I am Alive”and about all that has passed?
    It’s Gone,flush that shit away oh
    Choo chee can sing and two step tap and spin?try today on, I promise it
    Will fit,and it’s sweater weather?

  3. Great topic and post!! For those who are born to heal (in the many ways that is expressed) the ‘training’ starts early and is harsh. Then you KNOW. In my experience, I was reminded of my innocence coming into life…and joy and knowing. With innocence in hand, I realized where the guilt and shame belonged…with the abuser. I handed it back and picked up my real life and moved forward. Somehow, I knew the essence of me had not been injured…could not be injured…just confused/distorted. Once I threw off the weight, I was good to go…not a lot of healing needed. Looking back, I saw how much of the victim story telling comes from the over-culture…definitely not helpful. It was worth tossing those opinions, too. Hey! They’re just opinions…Who is to say that I’ll be healing all my life, etc?! That kind of gets in the way of living your life. I don’t do soap operas…lol

  4. To Elsa on Abuse

    I do not downplay anyone’s abuse, by that I mean any abuse is damaging and hurtful, it leaves a permanent injury and everyone has pain to bear.
    My mother, brothers and sister were abused violently by my father. I heard my mother used to be hit, punched and verbally abused to severe bruising and bloodied face as well as my older brother. She told him when I was born if he laid a hand on me she’d leave. That created a break until I was about 7 when he began again, she was hit, threatened to leave but did not. She should’ve because what followed was a lot of hitting and verbal abuse. In time that escalated to kicking, being thrown, furniture thrown, screaming at us kids in tirades that lasted hours, toys destroyed, thrown and kicked at us, being picked up ourselves and thrown, hurt a lot, you don’t know the helplessness of being thrown, your body unable to move, head ringing, crying and being told to stop or he’d give us a reason to cry, the fear is paralyzing, faith destroyed because God can’t stop him. I wet the bed well into my 11th year, by 15 I was an alcoholic, my older brother is so introvert and unable to function, my younger brother of 2 years is a drug addict, the two little ones seen it, but do not recall it as we do. I fought back, talked with the school administration, psychologists and they all found me to blame as my parents lied, dad is a Taurus and provided as it appeared on the outside, mom was a Lay Speaker, but in time her alcoholism caused seizures, then paralysis and ten years later she died. To this day I don’t speak to him, nor do my closer brothers. I didn’t get help, I was removed from home, ward of the state of NY and without therapy, I am a mess.
    As an adult I too can be really mean when I’m severely drunk, so I only drink up to 10 beers a day, I’ll drink as many as a suit case but after that I have impulsivity problems and can be very disruptive. In my 20’s I’ve woken up in jail a couple times. I married an ex opiate addict that committed Suicide, I suffer severe depression, it’s so familiar I don’t feel right when I’m happy and then begin destructive behavior patterns, suffering PTSD thats physically debilitating at times. I’m broken, I always get up and try but I’m dysfunctional, it’ll never stop. Estranged from my daughter for fear I’d be abusive. It’s hell, that’s the short of it, I can go on, it effected everything, that’s just the summary. Growing up was excruciating.

    • That was then, born Pluto in 10, seen it pass through 11, 12, 1, 2, will be entering 3rd house, that’s the Sun sign, stellium, double grand trines, Pluto will leave Venus alone, move on to my Sun, Jupiter, then Mercury… it’ll chain react the trines, Saturn and Uranus, it’s going to be rough.
      Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had many years to help myself and I have, Pluto my Chart ruler, change is my middle name.
      I only found Astrology in April 2022, going through some big changes, I’m finally writing, my North Node says it must be uplifting, so it will be. My Asc says I don’t do therapy or medicine or anything that isn’t self guided or natural. I’m glad I understand myself now, nearly 50 I’m fixing it all, smoking, drinking, they’re going, I’ve been a lot closer to my daughter, I reach out to my brothers and sister, friends and neighbors.
      My health is at risk, that doesn’t bother my Mars, the Asc will regenerate and heal me.
      Change is tough when you’re hijacked, really bad if you’re your own and only source of progression, so long as I believe and move forward.
      All these comments I read are just incredible, I really do hope all of you can find strength and healing, to those of you that could move on, I hope you keep that strength.

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