I’m at my rope’s end. I am feeling worse than I did during my Saturn’s Return. EVERYTHING has collapsed around me: relationships, friendships, work (there is none), finances and most of all my faith.
I cannot take it anymore. I’m constantly praying and trying to be open. I hunker down and wait to get around to the next corner, the next bend. But there is never any salvation. I feel utterly forsaken.
Well you are not forsaken. I am answering your mail, and people will read it and respond to it. There is a whole humanity out there. There are millions of people who are full of compassion for others, and you’re one of them, or you wouldn’t be feeling this bad in the first place. So just get this much loud and clear: you are not alone.
You are having a Pluto transit though and you are going to have to do something new. By that I mean that your old tried and true ways of coping are failing you. It’s like trying to ward off a forest fire with your little hose. It ain’t gonna work! You’re going to have to burn.
You are going to have to feel this pain and stay with it until it resolves. My friend, Ben has worked with children for 20 years and sees a lot of messed up kids. And he explained once, the kids had no idea how to resolve their bad feelings. The kid is upset and the parent gives the toy. The kid screams and the parent placates.
And this is a great disservice. Because if the parent left the kid to whinge, eventually they would exhaust themselves. They would finish feeling whatever they were feeling and they’d calm down. And this would be a great lesson to them. Turns out they’re not going to die after all!
But if you’ve never had this experience then you don’t know! You don’t know you can and will survive your bad… no your horrible feelings. And once you do know this, you will be a changed person. You will be empowered, so this is my advice:
Put down your hose and submit. Stay with your feelings, wherever they take you, no matter how dark it gets and wait to be delivered. Because you will be delivered. And you will be fine like you’ve never been fine before. Like Obi Wan, you will be “more powerful than you can possibly imagine”.
Post me back and tell me when I’m right, okay? And I’m not being snotty. It’s just that once I lost faith as well. And a friend told me it was okay. She said she still had faith and would hold its spot for me. So now I pay it forward. Come back and tell us… we’ll be here.
Much love and good luck.