Libra, Love And Codependence; Venus in The 12th House

This client actually suggested I write about her so I will.  She’s rich and she’s beautiful and she’s a Libran.

With Saturn in Libra she is coming to realize and to try to cope with the fact she cannot be alone for more than… well hopefully she won’t be alone at all. She will make almost any sacrifice or compromise to be in relationship and have love in her life.

Having Venus in the 12th house in Scorpio, her range on this front is endless. She can dream any man into anything but why should she?

I mentioned she is rich and she is beautiful but she is also fun and funny. The woman is pretty much universally desirable but her limitation or her Achilles heel then, is this fact she can’t and I mean she cannot stand to be alone.

The irony is that as important as love is to her, she can’t get it right because she’s got to get it fast. A man crosses her path and BAM. He’s it.  She engages him and immediately starts morphing to fit his ideal.

This leads to inevitable disillusionment so how rude is it to find something like this out when you are a grown up, successful business owner? I think it must be ghastly!

I don’t how she is going to deal with this ultimately though I offered her some ideas. Can any of you relate?

Who out there knows they’d be well advised to slow down if they want to find love?

Here’s her song.   Yours too, maybe?

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Libra, Love And Codependence; Venus in The 12th House — 22 Comments

  1. Awesome topic. I know many many people with Venus in Pisces, Neptune in 7th, Pisces ruling 7th house, Libra ruling 12th, etc etc. Would you say these placements are similar to Venus in 12th? (These folks sure act like it 🙂

    They seem to hang on well after they’ve experienced enough episodes of abuse. From what I’ve observed, it seems to be a boundary issue — porous boundaries — where does the other person end and where do I begin? Not a strong enough sense of self, perhaps?

  2. Hello,
    Venus in Capricorn here. Libra rising, so I get the Libra predicament.

    If its advise she is asking for, I would suggest Baby Steps in solitude. Seeing solitude as a place of conception, where SElf is re-born. Comfort Self with music, feel and listen to whats inside. Ten minutes. Just for Self.

    Peace.

  3. I do this – not the can’t stand to be alone bit, because I like being alone, but when I meet an attractive man, oh god. I turn into Miss Libra acquiescence, and I want him and the fantasy I’ve woven NOW. At least now I’m older and a bit wiser I can catch myself on when I feel it happening, and climb back into my cave 🙂

  4. recovering Love Addict over here. Every since I can remember, I have always dated or been in a relationship… always… many times with ppl I didn’t even like. Then bam, I fall in love for real this year… but my life is so cluttered with someone I dated for over 2 years. Never occurred to me that I would meet someone I would genuinely fall in love with… and not be able to be with them becuz I cluttered my own life with personal baggage. I’m officially on month 2 of being 100% single. Over time, I learned to appreciate it and I also discovered my true self again. All I can say is take it 1 day at a time and looking forward to the day when real love comes my again and my life, mind and spirit will be free and open to receive it. 🙂

  5. I was like that when I was younger – I couldn’t bear to be alone (Cancer planets in H11) and I mean at all, let alone without a man (or rather men) in my life. Being able to keep more than one relationship going was a big help (it was normal in those days)…

    But learning to be alone, and then on my own, was something which only came with time and maturity. It did come, and now I’m happy to be alone most of the time

  6. Having lots of libra here I can understand the situation. However I think there is a cure:Uranus.
    My favorite song? Would I Lie To You (Charles & Eddie) experienced by a gemini moon squared in transit for Uranus (thats gone for good or ill)

  7. I have the opposite problem–LOVE to be alone–and when I was younger I tended to flee from interested men (probably because my moon and venus in Gemini square my uranus) but my husband has venus in aries in 12th–and I have had to adjust to this is a big way in the five years I’ve known him. He can’t be alone–loves to be partnered. And he’s an Aquarius! I think it’s his Mars in Cancer, Venus in 12th that accounts for his strong need to be in a relationship.

  8. of all the things I can research and find answers to..this is not one of them. I’d love to know how she decides to deal with it.

  9. Oh, and he also has Neptune in Scorpio late in the 7th. This “merging with the partner” discussed on another thread sounds spot on with my relationship. It seems to work for us though. I sometimes have to encourage him to give me some time alone–I’ve even set up man dates for him so that I don’t feel guilty when I want my alone time. LOL

  10. As I have Venus in Aries in my 12th house, it’s a little different. I crave my solitude (H12), as it directly influences my sense of self, and just–who I am (1st house ruler in the 12th).

    But I also am a double Gemini, and I can see myself about to become what someone needs, playing a chameleon-like siren song, but I stop myself, even if it makes my fantasy loving Venus sad because, with Saturn and Pluto opposing it–they just won’t tolerate me being anything less than genuine, regardless of it if hurts for a while or not.

    I crave a mate like water, but I need my alone time sometimes too to sustain who I am as an individual. Hmm, I sound odd to my own ‘ears.’ : )

  11. What about a group of friends? What are her hobbies? Anything to distract her? There are other bonds to strengthen in Saturn in Libra: is she fitting in time to build strong friendships, strong bonds with her relatives, her colleagues? Venus in Scorpio in the 12th can also be a good placement for therapy, huh? As usual, shooting from the hip. What if she paces the times she sees him or even tries auditioning another man parallel to that?

  12. And, aren’t some of you guys with Saturn transiting the AC working on learning how to cut boundaries (no more mr. nice guy) and how to be alone, your own person? Isn’t Saturn part of separating a Libra from their attachment to partnering? A happy woman, one who is not jonesing and frothing at the mouth for a man is a desirable woman. Right? Going deeply into herself and focusing on her deeper spirituality to transform her love life (Venus in Scorpio in the 12th)?

  13. Thinking about this more while cooking dinner: it was in my later twenties I started needing to be alone more than I needed to be with people. I struck a balance by going out most nights and at the weekend, but living by myself from when I was 28. Other than my marriage partnership (aged 34 to 40) I’ve lived alone all the years since.

    I think Neptune in Libra was part of my problem when younger, and still is to some extent. As soon as I find a man attractive, I put him on a pedestal, and simultaneously I’m envisaging a future for us, where we do indeed merge… The weird thing is that when offered this I tend to run because other things in my chart mean I do need my space!

    I’m not sure what the answer is, in terms of reaching a place where you both become as one, but give each other room to breathe and/or avoid seeing ‘the other’ as some idealised mate. In my own case it involves many stern conversations with myself!

  14. I have this. Venus/sun/mars/pluto in the 12th. Need to spend time alone to sort out how I feel about a person. If they can let me do this then I can adapt well. If not then my god it’s not pretty. So I know this about myself which helps. Also I’m learning to speak about what’s going on inside. To set a few boundaries and ask for the life I want. If they won’t compromise (and not manipulate) then I’m going to question the relationship. Thankfully cap is teaching me there’s plenty of time for the right one.

  15. I can relate. I’m also a love addict but think I have figured out a way to deal. I go through intense relationships about once or twice a year and usually spend the rest of the time without one recovering. It’s like going through withdrawals – during this time I take up a hobby and get into it obsessively. It can be music, dancing, cooking..whatever. find something that makes you you feel great – dancing is great especially if you like the admiration and beauty it expresses – kind of like being in a relationship. You get to feel sexy again without a mate! try it.

  16. “Who out there knows they’d be well advised to slow down if they want to find love?”
    You are an optimist as always, Elsa!
    I too have an incredibly Piscean Venus in 12th but also other stuff that make me take my time in entering a relationship. And by the time I am done thinking, my love interest is gone, in relationship with someone else.
    I can’t say I am very disappointed, I want someone willing to wait because I think relationships need time, patience and understanding. In the same time, I am keenly aware that what I want may not be possible.After all, we live in the era of fast food, fast sex, fast love and basically, fast!

  17. It’s the cling-and-self-sacrifice of Pisces combined with the partnering impulse of Libra – what else can they do?

    At least these types get a lot of relationship action – solitude gets old, too, I have to say.

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