Lesbian, Cheated On Again! Am I Doomed?

Aries chase

Dear Elsa,

I am a 27 year-old, gay female. I just got out of a 4 year relationship, and I’m moving, getting a new job, and starting over. I have no friends and no money, but I do have debt.

My relationship ended when my partner was unfaithful to me after 4 years of being together. I was stunned she had done this. I stayed in this relationship because she was responsible and I was so sure she would be faithful. But she was emotionally unavailable to me. Over time, this caused me a lot of sadness and loneliness. What’s more, everyone I have ever been in a relationship with has been unfaithful.

Now I long for loyalty, real intimacy, and passion. I have to almost believe that this last relationship didn’t last because there is someone that is more suited for me that I am supposed to spend my life with. Could this be true? It is important to me that my partner be financially stable. Am I doomed to repeat this pattern of being the fool? I wonder if I will ever be enough for anyone.

At this point in my life, everything is question. Will I be successful? Will I find true intimacy and loyalty in a partner?

Cheated On

Dear Cheated,

I am sorry you’ve been betrayed and I think it is very normal for you to be asking these types of questions. Of course I think you can find intimacy and loyalty in a relationship, but keep in mind almost none of us manage this right out of the gate! Right? How many people do you know, still hooked up with their high school sweetheart ten years down the road, or twenty years down the road? That is a rare event! So please be willing to be realistic, because almost no one manages this by 27 years old either!!

Now at 27, by the astrology model, you are just growing up. “Adulthood” is marked by the Saturn return which occurs at about 29 years old. Up until this time you are still forming and this should give you some hope not otherwise! You are still trying to figure it out! How you are going to be in this world. How you’re going to make it.

Specific to your chart, Aries sun aside, you have a lot of Leo and Scorpio which means you are going to be under a Saturn transit for the next three years. And during this time you will feel pressured to define yourself. What works for you and what doesn’t?

And you’re going to be tired. Because this work is hard. You’ll want to give up, but don’t do that! This is a critical time in your life and the work you do now is going to set you up for the next thirty years! Seriously.

Now regarding your relationships, you’ve about got it down, and I’ll read this back to you to give a jump start:

You have Venus in Pisces, the best Venus you can buy, but it’s opposed by Saturn and I’ll explain.

Venus in Pisces yearns for a perfect union. It also represents the side of you that is so full of faith. You write: “I have to almost believe that this last relationship didn’t last because there is someone that is more suited for me that I am supposed to spend my life with.”

Can you see how ethereal this is? Very soul mate-ish. Then enter Saturn:

There has to be rules! There has to be commitment! There has to be financial (Venus) stability (Saturn)!! See that? That is you.

And when a planet transits a chart (in this case, Saturn) it sets off the natal situation. And this has occurred. Currently, you are deprived (Saturn) of relationship (Venus). You are scared (Saturn) you will not be loved (Venus). And my point is that for the next three years this is going to be in your face. Why? So you can work it out! And when you work it out…

Well, this is when you will find the love you are looking for. And don’t mistake me. You may meet her tomorrow! But you’re not going to get it right in some kind of flash of magic. You’re going to get it right because you do the plodding hard work. You’ll get it right because of the effort you’ll make, one step a time and yeah. I think you’ll do it! I think you’re going to be fine.

Good luck.



Lesbian, Cheated On Again! Am I Doomed? — 2 Comments

  1. Elsa is giving you clear advice-You will have the opportunity to be with someone who will give you all you desire…however, only after You do your ‘work’.

    This means-

    You can become financially stable. Rely on yourself and not someone else to provide this for you.

    You will become more aware of what you want in this Life. And realize that you have the power of Choice.

    You will learn to ‘let go’ sooner when a situation lacks the emotional intimacy you desire.

    This growth will happen over time….and part of that process includes time on your own to develop in the areas where you need to become stronger!

    You can do it…as Elsa mentioned–One day at a time and baby steps along the way!! The challenges of this period will reward you if you choose to do the hard work of ‘growing’. AND…Everyone goes through this period and survives!! 🙂

    Good Luck!

  2. I can only echo the words of Elsa and Kathy. I believe you will get through this, not only survive it, but thrive because of it. I love ya, girlie!

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