Two years ago I met a man at work, and we began dating. At the time I wasn’t aware of this, but he had just divorced and getting back into the dating scene. I never intended on falling for him, but I did. Things got kind of nasty after I found out he had been “talking” to another woman. We never said we were serious – but this hurt my feelings.
Needless to say I haven’t spoken to him in almost 2 years yet I can’t get him off my mind. What do I do? I know he isn’t dating or seeing anyone, yet I don’t have the guts to call and ask how he is.
Well here’s the thing. What are you calling him for? Do you want to go another round? Do you want to present yourself as detached and casual, when in fact you’re a jealous maniac waiting to happen? Because if this is the case, you ought to leave the guy alone.
On the other hand, if you are genuinely sorry and wish to take responsibility and you know he is not involved with someone else, then you definitely should call him. But you’d better be humble – and you’d better brace yourself, because you may be rejected.
Saturn in Leo (opposing your Sun and Moon in Aquarius) is pressuring you to grow up and handle your relationships with a degree of maturity. And the fact that this guy is haunting you… well I suspect you did him wrong. So go do him right, and things should ease. Nothing wormy, okay? Like this:
“Hey, it’s me. I’ve been thinking about you and I really think I acted like an ass…”
And if he rejects you? Well then you’ll have learned a hard lesson, but one which will benefit you for the rest of your life. For the record, this is sort of like what parents do to kids when they shoplift. They make them take the item back and apologize, and it cures most kids of stealing for life.
Can you see that if you do this, regardless of his reaction, it’s very unlikely that you will pull this shit with the next man? Which means you learned something, which means you win. Bottom line: no pain, no gain.