I have been tossing this around for a month or so… how I might write this blog without coming across as a total bitch. It may or may not be possible but I’ve decided to try. It is about “talking into a fan”.
Now it was my friend, satori who came up with that idea / the phrasing. I tell her a lot of what goes on, plus she’s read my blog(s) for years and she’s noticed how frequently people react (and often react badly) to things I never said.
The soldier suffers this as well. In fact he’s got the problem worse than I do and I would chalk this up to Saturn on his Mercury. He just can’t see to get people to understand him. It is as if he talks and the words go right into a fan to be blown back at him completely misunderstood or deflected by the person rather than heard and internalized. And if you are a person who suffers like this pretty soon you don’t want to talk anymore and it sounds like this:
“You did this and this and this.”
“No, I didn’t,” he says.
“Yes you did.”
“You did so!”
Well at that point what is the use of trying to talk to the person? There is no point so what I do and what the soldier does, is we just quit talking. We quit talking but the other person invariably continues to talk which is fascinating and even stupefying if you think about it. Because who is talking into a fan now?
If I quit talking to you or if he quits talking to you it is probably because you are a fan. You are a fan, you poor thing. No one can get information to you and we would explain this if we would but since you are a fan it is hopeless.
I will come back with the various types of fans out there, the same way I did with the array of cock-blockers out there but meantime, here is my tip:
People who are fans do a lot of damage up until you realize you are talking into a fan. Next time someone does this to you, imagine a fan standing there and though it won’t help you get your point across it will let you be amused.
Are you a fan? Do you know a fan? What’s the deal with Mercury in your chart?
skip to Fans – Type 1
I’m not a fan, I’m just awkward.
I have this other thing that happens – or maybe I attract fans. I say something which seems to me really harmless, an ordinary comment or sentence or even a word or two with no malice attached. I mean I am not even on the track of trying to get some reaction or other – I am just talking – when poufff the other person blows up and starts screaming at me like I am an evil witch or something. I get such a shock and go away thinking – what did I say. I analyze the sentence backwards and forwards and backwards and inside out, and I can’t find what there is in it that is so offensive.
Rhian – that is interesting. I wonder where your Mercury is… it’s aspects. This would tell the tale, or at least part of it.
Mars conjunct Mercury in Scorpio, 12th House side of ASC. I am so not a fan . . . but I grew up with several so learned to shut up and throw things. ::grin::
As an adult if I really need to make my point, I do it in writing rather than verbally. Or wait them out and come at them obliquely. Usually I just say “screw it” and walk away since throwing things is not acceptable adult behavior! 😀
oh . . . Saturn does not aspect my Mercury, Uranus is inconjunct it.
Yeh actually Mercury does tell a tale here. Mercury is stationary retrograde in Taurus in the 10th opposing Jupiter (R) in Libra, North Node in Scorpio and Neptune (R) in Scorpio. It is also sextile Venus in Aquarius and trines Pluto in Virgo (R) – I have a Venus/Pluto opposition – this set of aspects is almost exact. It also makes a trine to Saturn in Sagittarius, which is in turn trine Pluto. So there is a lot going on for sure.
oh yes. and i’ve become better at catching on to the phenomenon quickly so i waste less of my time.
i love that image though. gonna’ keep that in mind next time i get frustrated at it.
mercury/saturn/uranus tsquare. mercury trine asc, too, for what it’s worth.
by which i mean, yes, i know fans.
I’m both. When someone can’t hear me, I just avoid them. But, I am also guilty of misunderstanding what someone was trying to say to me. If I have commented incorrectly to something you have written I apologize.
As a small child I remember wishing that I had been born mute so that people would love me. I had forgotten that until I read this post.
Mercury in the 12th house square Pluto, square Uranus.
My church lady Mom is my #1 Fan. I say things thinking I’m offering insight, wisdom, all-encompassing clarity on many levels. Next thing I know her lips are pursed, eyes squinty and she’s hurling judgement and quotes from the bible. merc retro in cancer SQUARING mars in libra. I’ve also been known to go off half-cocked in conversation, leading to discord and shameful feelings.
I have this messy Jupiter square Mercury thingy that could definitley push someone to send a fan hurtling towards my head in frustration. 😀
Most of the time I am not a fan……just the nutty professor who is chasing windmills in his mind.
at first I thought you were talking about a fan, as in a person who cheers for you and likes your team
LOL! Molly! I am still laughing at the visual of your #1 Fan. I’ll see your #1 Fan and raise it by 2…nay, 3 Fans! 1 with Merc. in Cancer square Uranus in Scorpio, another with Merc. in Sadge square Uranus and Pluto in Virgo and the 3rd with Merc. in Aquarius square Mars in Gemini, Jupiter in Sadge and oppossing Uranus in Leo.
I could show them pictures of what I was talking about and they’d STILL need a diagram!
Of course, I do have an opposition from Jupiter in Pisces to Pluto in Virgo so it may not be their problem alone…..ya think?
OMG! This just keeps getting better! cj, that was hilarious! I guess this is exactly what Elsa is talking about.
Where’s your Merc, cj? What is it aspecting?
This is a funny thread. 😀
Mercury and Neptune in conjunct on my ascendant on the 12th house side. Not quite talking into a fan . . .
I’ve got Mercury conjunct Saturn and squaring Cappy Moon. I don’t have this problem b/c I never put myself out there first. I let people talk and then decide if they will be fans and respond accordingly. I’m all about filtering out noise.
Like Rhian, I attract fans. My mercury in Gemini squares Pluto, Mars and Uranus in Virgo. I keep secrets (unlike most Geminis!) but whatever I say gets passed around and magnified–and often distorted. It’s as if people take everything I say very seriously. Regardless of how innocent or lacking in malice my words end up being thrown back in my face. It’s almost as if people want to dislike me or freak out on me… My SO’s mercury squares my mercury and opposes my Mars and yet, our communication works. He’s become more articulate and I’ve become a great listener (or at least with him I am!). Maybe once the great sex wears off, I’ll stop listening–and he’ll stop talking? Egads.
I’m a fan (Merc in Aries/6th, retrograde). Verbal arguments/communication are a mess for me.
My SO and I are each other’s fans for sure. My Leo Mercury (conjunct mars, venus, and the sun) is inconjunct his Cappy Mercury. We just can’t seem to speak the same language. Communication has been a central issue throughout our relationship, which has left my Gemini moon lamenting. And I know that the issue is just as much my energy as his.
Ah, for me it goes both ways: I have Mercury in a T-square with Uranus and Saturn (Mercury opposed Uranus, so yes many people think I am crazy. And my Uranus Scorpio is conjunct my MC, so…there you go.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve upset people and didn’t find out until much later (too late). They thought I was being snide or sly or generally hinting at something…you know, they thought I was being a passive-aggressive hag and I was totally ambivalent to the matter at hand.
Or, I thought I was being sweet and loving and they thought I had my knives at the ready…it used to really upset me until I got the astrology of it (thanks Elsa!)
Now, I can be a real nit-picking so and so as well. My oldest sister and I had an argument once and let’s just say this: after that argument I had learned the word ‘pedantic’ for the first time, and guess what? She was right to call me that!
Elsa’s endorsement aside, sometimes I really am a fan. Especially with my man.
Looking at the synastry, his Moon is atop my Sun-Merc-Saturn conjunction and also his Sun-Merc is on my Mars-Venus-Pluto. This is pretty accurate, because I think he says this that or the other and get pissed or depressed when I’m actually reacting to what I infer from his words. And sometimes that’s vastly different from his intent!
Plus, I have Mercury trine Neptune natally, so no clue half the time. AND I need to stop yelling into the fan (Luuuuuke, Iiiiii aaaaam yoooouuuurrr faaaaatheerrrr)! So lots of work on this issue, but I’m plodding along. 🙂
Have you ever burped into a fan? Nasty.
Phegh! Doesn’t sound like fun, Kashmiri. And the blowback. . ..
I used to talk into fans as a kid. We could make ourselves sound like the Darleks on Dr Who. “exterminate exterminate” I thought it was a great special effect. Is that what you mean about being heard in a staccato kind of way Elsa?
No, Kingsley, I wish. I mean the information /communication is completely deflected. It is defended against and blown right back into your face, none of it even begun to be assimilated by the person you are trying to talk to.
I used to be a fan, I think, but ever since I realized it I have actively been working to change that. It involves taking a lot more time to think about what people are communicating (not just how they’re communicating) before I react or respond.
My Mercury is in Capricorn (retrograde, 5th house), so when people throw new ideas into my thought process before I have had time to adjust for them, it throws me off and infuriates me, to be honest! I feel like my emotions belong to other people sometimes, but my mind is MINE.
Communication is an entire department in universities for a reason! *sigh* 🙂
Oh. My. God. My entire LIFE Ive been surrounded by FANS! Its like I talk and people just dont hear me.. which really ticks me off because I think I have a pretty good head on my shoulders. And misunderstood?? Bah. All the freaking time. For some reason what I say is NOT what people hear. Rhian I totally feel your pain darlin. People get SO mad at things that just make me scratch my head. My husband reads me wrong allll of the time & I tell him that if Im angry at him, or I mean to tick him off.. he’ll know it, he wont have to wonder if I meant something this way or that way. There will be zero doubt. Still he keeps on assuming things I never meant, and reading things into things that arent there.
Ah! Those ‘fans’. They can make one try harder thats for sure.
sometimes i think i am, too. i usually try to withdraw if i’m not catching things. but sometimes i’m just focusing too much to respond too. information in, or information out.
or i’m elsewhere. though i try not to act like i’m listening when i’m zoning anymore. gives people a false impression.
Oh man …..
I’m like Rhian in that I think I attract them. And I generally work at saying exactly what I mean, and being clear in my tone as well as my words. Of course, the harder I work at it …. yeah. The worse it goes. So I’m convinced it’s me, somehow, but I’m dogged if I can figure that out.
As for the Mercury …. 12th house Taurus. Sun/Saturn/Ascendant in 1st house Gemini – Merc conjunct my sun, trine Pluto, and opposite Neptune.
Have Mercury in 10th house and in Taurus. I end up being an interpreter between fans and muggles, muggles and wizards, and fans and fans.
It’s gotten to where I run screaming from fans for fear of getting drafted.
Here’s an even better one: have you met anyone who refused, half-subconsciously, to understand what you were saying as a defense mechanism? OMG maddening. MADDENING.
I had just finished re-reading your series (and later posts) re: talking into a fan….
Went back to FB to check on some threads… realized someone had totally “fanned” one of my posts. Politely replied to set the record straight. Then realized, by the way she had expressed herself, and her attitude, that she was “a fan”.
So I immediately deleted my response.
No point engaging with her.
A HUGE number of people had already seen said post (it’s an older one) and NOT ONE PERSON had had the problem she did with it.