I am an attractive young woman who makes male friends very easily. In fact I make female friends easily too, but I tend to have more in common with men and generally enjoy those relationships more, based on my hobbies, professional interests, and maybe the fact that I grew up with an older brother and I have a very close bond with my dad.
Oftentimes, if I am interested in a man to be my boyfriend, and the opportunity arises to have sex – I will sink my teeth in, play out some form of lovey romance over the course of a few months, only to discover that I’m more suited to a friendship with the man than a committed romantic relationship. At that point, I’ve suffocated my chance to have a normal friendship with that person, robbed myself of that much more of my own innocence, and I’ve got blood dripping down my chin with no napkin in sight! (Don’t know where I got that line – probably stole it from you LOL) I really hate that the number of men I’ve slept with keeps growing – I always want the current one to be the last one, but the fizzle-out and break-up seem to be inevitable. Whether I sleep with a guy on the first amazing date, or I’m friends with a guy for years and years before we decide to merge, it seems that only until the relationship becomes sexual can I reach the conclusion that the guy and I are not truly compatible.
I met someone special while I was on vacation about a month and a half ago, and our chemistry was incredibly electric. We didn’t hook up, but we’ve been talking (texting) long distance every day since he gave me his number. The conversation has been fantastic and we seem to appreciate many important qualities in one another. There’s been no talk of sex, nothing raunchy at all, just pure, friendly, intimate getting-to-know-each-other chatting. He says he’s a simple guy. We are crazy about each other and I’m going to see him this week! We have activities planned and I’m going to stay at his house. I know that my grandma thinks that I should keep my pants on if I really like him. But today’s culture is so confusing… if I want to have sex with him, is there any harm in going for it? We already have plans to see each other again in another 2.5 months, so I’m absolutely willing to save it for next time if you think that’s wise… But I don’t want to play mind games or be withholding for no good reason. I know I’m going to want to sleep with him immediately, as well as dive into the role of being his girlfriend. What other strategy can I use to make sure we will be a good fit before adding another one to my list? I always hear people say they married their best friend – my parents are best friends and they make a great team. Dating is always a fun, interesting, transformative, and educational adventure for me, but I don’t have a best friend, and I want one and I want to marry him! How do I know the right time to have sex with a guy I like a lot as a potential boyfriend/best friend/husband?
Tomboy Next Door, Tired of Kissing Frogs (as much as she enjoys it)
Hi, Tomboy. You have clear insight into your pattern yet you think it might make a difference, whether you sleep with this man on this trip or the next? The problem does not occur until you sleep with a man.
This means you can sleep with the man and have the problem shortly after or you can sleep with him later this year and have the problem then. You have total control.
Astrologically, I would tie this first, to the Aries in your chart. You want to have some kind of sex and thrill. Once you’ve conquered, boredom sets in. Your Mars (ruler of Aries) is in Gemini so that goes double.
I also think it’s telling that you call these men, “frogs”. You feel superior to them and your chart shows this inflation. How’s that going to mesh with your “marry your friend” idea?
There’s more but this should be enough to illustrate to you, your pattern can not be blamed on our confusing culture. You can fix this but your perspective needs work. I see you’re heading into your Saturn return in Sagittarius. It’s the perfect time for that.
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