uzmi writes on Defending Your Relationship From The Other Woman:
“I definitely agree, you have to defend your relationship. but I’d love examples because I’m not quite sure what works best to prevent such attacks. Is it body language, glares, what exactly? All hints & tips please! what do you do when women blatantly look a man up & down, short of violence? …not that I’m averse to that but cant always get away with it .”
uzmi, there are women who get cheated on repeatedly and women who are never cheated on. This is not accidental. It starts with your choice of man, I’d say. If you choose a man with a history of cheating, chances are he’s going to cheat on you as well.
Also, are you loyal yourself? Are you honest about what you want in a relationship, what you expect and where you lines are?
I think infidelity is so common, it’s important that you state what you are looking for. So many women are scared of men. They’re so freakin’ desperate they ask nothing of a man and this is exactly what you get.
Remember that like attracts like but victims attract perps. The winning recipe then is to not be a victim or a perp but to be and to offer exactly what you are looking for in a relationship. If you want an open relationship, say so. If you don’t, say so.
Some of you may have to take my word here but there are plenty of men who don’t want to worry about their woman screwing around on them. There are many, many, many men like that. In fact, MOST men are like that and if you’re not meeting them, you’re in the wrong place with the wrong crowd and you are the on in a position to change that.
As for glaring at people, I don’t find this necessary. Like a rapist can pick an easy victim, in most cases people know who is committed to their relationship and who is not. For example, men write me on facebook all the time, casting about. I don’t play. I see it as someone trying to penetrate my relationship and wave it off. Good boundaries, see? I only deal with people who respect my marriage and while there are some who do not, there is no shortage of people who do.
As for a woman blatantly looking at your man, that is is not a woman, it’s a pig. If you are a woman and with a man who likes women, you do not have to worry about pigs. Most likely, I’d do nothing in a circumstance like that unless I was in some kind of mood in which case, I might laugh at her and point.
You get the idea. I am with the man, and I would keep my energy on the man. If he does the same, the person has no power and they’re out of there like a roach when you turn on a light.
It’s a simple recipe. You have a bond that you’re committed to maintaining and so is he. When two people lock on like that, it’s formidable and if you don’t think this is possible, look around because there are strong relationships everywhere, all around the world.
How do you defend your relationship?
pictured – Two Lovers, Vincent Van Gogh, 1888