How Special – You’re Not Offended

mighty mouseLast night I read about someone passing “cold checks”. What’s a cold check? A hot check is a check that’s written without the money to cover it. I googled “cold check” and was informed that…well apparently cold check and hot check mean the same thing. It seems ridiculous.

This morning I read a remark, so common. The person stated they were an “X”/. They said they “self-identified as an “X”, where X is the population in question…and they weren’t offended. How special, I thought. How distinguished.

If you can be special for not being offended, you can also be special for being offended. “I am an X and I am offended!” How special. “Further, all X’s around the world should also be offended…”  I see! It’s as if the person thinks they are leading a movement from behind their keyboard.

I just don’t get the idea you can elevate yourself by making a statement. Bunch of words you may or may not mean in the moment and probably won’t mean at all in five to ten years.  But people write this stuff, night and day, ’round the clock.  There just seems way too much emphasis put on getting up each day to be offended or not offended, depending on how a person thinks they may come across.

Here’s a tip – you come across as common. You come across as someone incapable of having a dialogue. You come across as Mighty Mouse…who was make-believe by the way.

This is a Saturn in Sagittarius topic.  What does real high-mindedness look like?

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How Special – You’re Not Offended — 10 Comments

  1. I’m mostly familiar (I’ve heard) with the situation where someone is forced to represent their race among a table full of white people. And someone white asks them ‘that didn’t bother you people did it?’ And the person has to say ‘Um… No, no. It didn’t I guess.’

  2. I would have to google high minded to make a response. I am having trouble with concepts again lately. Darn neptune. What does it mean? What does it mean? All I am getting is aloof. In one’s own reality. Doing one’s own schtick. There’s one on my present work assignment. She’s so full bodied about it. I am new there but I am hearing she is irritating. But she is so who she is and she just rolls with it without a clue. I consider her a character. And all I really have to do is develop a working relationship with her. I think I can reason with her. I have to do that this week.

  3. Yes. Outrage porn. Attention seeking.

    I have no interest in talking to people who have already made up their minds. And are all riled up. They are looking for an audience, to be put on a pedestal somehow.

    I don’t need to feed someone’s ego, thanks.

    • Outrage porn! Such a great phrase. That’s what’s populating my Facebook nowadays.. Preaching to the choir. (‘Hey, did you hear about this attack on a woman? You mad?! Click here!’)

  4. That’s such a great question, Elsa.

    It reminds me of a conversation I heard on a pobcast called Beyond The To-Do List. The topic was “honing your voice”.

    The guest speaker, Todd Henry, discussed what it means to have an authentic voice.

    If I understood him correctly, most people think that in order to be taken seriously they have to build their platforms by being loud and overbearing. They mistake attention for impact. Todd reasons that (very loud) attention to a topic/belief/concern may bring awareness but not impact. He further posits that the body of one’s work – the sum total of value one creates – speaks louder than any words used, and that it is through our work that we build authenticity.

    So, authenticity isn’t just “being yourself” (or saying whatever it is you want to say), it’s having skin in the game.

    The audience can sense this, and they will judge the speaker based on whether the speaker is willing to rise & fall by veracity of his or her efforts.

    It is our work that speaks for…or against…us. If we want to be taken seriously we have to walk our talk.

    To me, that’s Saturn in Sagittarius.

  5. my local sag ascendants have been complaining about how overboard political correctness has become. to the points of feeling suppressed. because blunt is rarely sensitive.

    i think it could serve us all a little good to be uncomfortable from time to time. even sacred cows need to be examined. maybe it’s really a moose!

    people get too attached to their ideas of things and forget how to actually apply them in the acts of living. particular the art of remembering that other people’s stories are important too.

    everyone’s is.

  6. So true.

    Social media is inundated with these folks. It’s about dividing people into two categories and making them choose. “Share this meme if you’re a kitten lover. Ignore this post if you’re a kitten killer.” I refuse to allow them to engage me, even in triviality. That’s too polarizing. But the truth is richer in the middle of the Venn-Diagram where the overlaps and gray areas and discrepancies appear and a fairer, less biased distinction can be made.

    But I will tell you what I am offended by. I am SICK of the mob mentality. People see one article or a picture of a person and all of a sudden, there’s 2 million comments either hero-worshipping or tearing them down. You know nothing of this person but skim one article or even just a headline and you feel the need to bully them into pulpy bits. That’s bullsh*t!

    There’s a whole story you’re missing! The other half!! I read one GoFundme account story about a father with a Down syndrome newborn and the mother just callously abandoned them both. This sob story enlisted them loads of money until the truth came out. The mother hit back to the media with her version of events, which are very different, an emotional account of what occurred after birth and the father simply taking the baby shortly after birth and divorcing her.

    There’s always 2 sides. And always a lot of background details and hard decisions that sometimes people are forced to make. That doesn’t give license to dehumanize them for it.

    And that’s the peril of the Internet.

  7. I feel undecided about the noise. Mostly, in my wider circle of acquaintances, I just stay quiet about 99% of political issues. Partly because I don’t know how they’re going to feel. (One should never assume that 1) they are going to agree with you 2) people aren’t going to pull some crazy shit in response…) Mostly because I don’t think it’s functional to blast folks with my opinions, even though I do have strong ones. I’ve stopped blogging and updating Facebook basically, and focus on my actions, and thoughts on personal relationships. I’ve found that talking online mostly does little to nothing to help. If it’s someone very close to me, it’s different… I observe and negotiate and sometimes express when I think it’s the right time….

    But… In response, I guess…. Lots of folks online sound like pundits writing now, wherein they are 100% right and no one else’s perspective matters, on both sides. :/ And if you don’t agree, you must be pure evil, or maybe you must be un-American. To me it ain’t pretty. And we dont treat each other as human, when we do so… I forget why I appreciated their thoughts to begin with. Sigh. It’s weird, writing online and texts can cause so many more miscommunications amongst people. If possible, I ask in person.

    As for politics, I read some news. Then, I vote.

    Sometimes in keeping opinions to yourself, you save a valuable relationship. Because that person’s company is worth more than being right… And to me, as a whole *doing right by the people around you comes first in life…. So I hope I’m doing this right haha!

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