Astrology and Anger: How Long Can You Stay Pissed Off?

I was talking to Scott about his transcendent nature.

“Well, you never write anybody off. Most people can hit their limit. They say that’s it! I’m not going to have any more of that and they mean it.”

“I rarely get that pissed off,” he said. “In fact, the only person I have ever been that mad at is you!”

I laughed. “I know, and then you get over it. That’s my point. You decide I’m not that bad after all and we started talking again. This is what I mean. I don’t think you can write anyone off for any reason, it’s just not in your nature.”


And where is your Mars?

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Astrology and Anger: How Long Can You Stay Pissed Off? — 50 Comments

  1. I also have Mars in Libra, and there are very few people I’ve written off for good.
    Unlike my fiance (who has Mars in Scorpio) who can excise someone completely and not look back.

  2. Mars in 9th house Aries. The few people I would like to have written off kept coming back to zing me one more time – talk about frustrating!

  3. Hmmm, I have Leo Mars/11H sextiling that damned Pluto on my Asc. so I can get pretty fucking pissed off. The fire burns super-hot but dies out as quickly as it started. I like to think I can make someone “dead” in my book, but in truth, I can’t hold a grudge for very long at all. It’s probably my Venus Pisces capacity to forgive.

  4. Dear Elsa,

    I have Mars in Cancer, which makes me really wishy-washy. I hang onto people long after others shake their heads and ask what I’m doing. I can’t even break up with my boyfriend and mean it, we’re back to e-mailing. I just hate to finalize anything.

  5. as i rule i can always forgive but i may not forget or want to hang out with you much. i have mars in virgo in the 12th house. i rarely carry grudges, but sometimes i do. just not forever. i can eventually be friends again, but carefully.

  6. Oohhh can you extend your surveys? We need to answer the above choices but also mark down what mars sign we have so there is a potential correlation… would love to know if other people with mars in cancer answered the same, etc. etc.

    Is it possible? too complex? do-able?

    🙂

  7. I have mars in aquarius conjunct sun, it’s squaring uranus, trining pluto, sextile moon.

    I tend to be very tolerant in general except for very specific subjects which tick me off and i won’t admit at all within my circle of friends.

    If i get to the point of telling people to get out of my life I always mean it and pray to god i won’t forget about it in a few months and let the same things happen again.

    I am not wired to hold grudges, so it’s very hard to tell people off forever, my sadge moon has really short memory for unpleasent things.
    but i’m working hard on working up my defenses. I get my motivation in the fact that I want something better in my future and better things will naturally come as I improve myself.

  8. Mars in Cancer. I always wish that I could say “That’s it, I’m through!” and make it stick but it doesn’t work. I’m in the process of surrendering on this one, because I’m almost always willing to give folks the chance to make amends. It’s often quite ridiculous.

  9. answered depends on other person. If someone writes me off- fine, I’m done.

    If I decide I don’t want to deal with or be around a person- I just stop contacting them, whatever, and generally they don’t try to find me. I leave without saying anything, ect.

    If they contact me a year or whatever later and I realize that I like them still, and I’m over being mad, because generally I’ve grown out of whatever I had against them, so I let them in.

    oh, mars in sadg.

  10. That’s a tough vote. I definitely have my limits and never forget or forgive when people have wronged me, but I wouldn’t completely discount a person forever. People make mistakes, and some people are sick or just outright ignorant, close-minded, or selfish. but, we’re all human. Even morons I hate deserve some level of respect, though I definitely wouldn’t bend over backwards for someone who has hurt me in the past. If they don’t want to see me anymore, though, I’m fine with that. They’ll be back, anyway. I’m irresistable. 😉

    mars in libra, conjunct ascendant.

  11. oh, forgot to mention. I can get really, really pissed off, quickly. and stay pissed off, for around 2 hours, swearing I’ll be angry for a month.

    and then two hours later, I either regret it, or apologize.

    This is why I try not to get mad in public, I always get.. un-mad, in too short of a time to be respectable. By then I sometimes have exaggerated my story so much as to be hilarious in the telling. whether I’m still mad or not.

    and I usually tell the story, getting more and more dramatic, until I hit upon those irritating people who take everything seriously and try to tell me that surely it wasn’t that bad and I need to let go. I can’t stand advice on how to deal with my temper.

  12. I have a Mars in Cancer (4th House) and I feel pretty much like Moxie above – the way she explains it is me all over!

    Sometimes I put up with so much crap from some people and will be the last remaining friend they’ve got. I hate confrontation so when they do something even I find difficult to swallow, I just try to write them off instead of rowing. But after a while I always regret it. I wonder how they’re getting on and if I was too hasty. Always, always second-guess myself so in the end there is really no point in me writing someone off.

    I would love to know the REASONS other people would cut someone off. For me it’s feeling like they’ve betrayed me in some way. I don’t care how badly they behave, I am pretty non-judgemental and open-minded. But I hate underhand stuff they may do to me behind my back.

  13. Mars in Leo square Venus in Scorpio and Pluto in Virgo. I have a story about my Mars in Leo.
    My husband was offered a promotion in 2003 so we ended up moving to another state with another co-worker of his. This co-worker brought his 18 year old girlfriend with him. ( He was 31).
    Because my husband and “Bob” (not his real name) had a mutual admiration society going I got the dubious assignment of baby-sitting his girlfriend “Jane”. I adopted her like one of my own and settled her into my family.
    Now, every weekend we had dinner together, bbq’s, shopping spree’s, holidays…..we were inseperable. ( I always wanted a daughter ).
    “Jane” started to complain that “Bob” was surfing the internet for porn and he even joined one of those dating services. My Mars in Leo kicked in ….big time! I was disgusted by his behavior towards my charge,er,I mean friend.
    Later that month he went “out” with another woman from work and left poor “Jane” home alone.
    I told her if I was her I would leave his ass. (I don’t mince words). She cried a lot and so I was getting tired of the whole mess because I do not like to see someone hurting.
    The straw that broke the camel’s back was the day she told me she was going to kill herself because he was screwing three different women from his place of work. ( He admitted it.)
    I called the suicide hotline and they told me to take her to the ER. When I turned around she was gone (to talk things over with “Bob”.)
    I let it go after that….I thought! She came back the next day asking if she could stay 2 weeks so that they could be away from each other to think things through. I’ve had so many people live with me and my husbands over the years that I knew this would not be good….but, my Libra ASC won out and I acquiesced.
    I begged “Jane” to go home to her family because this situation was not safe for her. She had to have “Bob” though and moved back in. I was soooooo f!@#$ pissed at this guy I wrote him a letter to tell him what a creep he was. I listed, in order of importance, all of his flaws and basically told to him to “burn in hell”.
    Well, I thought about it and thought about it….and decided that I was wrong. I called him up (about a month later) and apologized for that letter. Yeah, he’s a creep, but, he’s learning his lessons like all the rest of us soooo……. lesson learned about my Mars in Leo.

  14. When i get pi’zissed, i’m only mad for like 20 min when i say “I’ll never speak to you again!!” I’m a gemini with mars in virgo, so if you cross my line, i’ll talk about you. BTW, i’m the 11 year old reader of ze Elsa blog.

  15. I can’t hold a grudge for shit, even when I want to. Mars in Sagg in the 9th. If I try just to not contact someone they usually contact me and either pretend they don’t realize I’m ignoring them or they call me on it. I can’t get a break.

    I have been written by others a time or two and that hurt like hell.

  16. none of the above

    “fast and furious” and then the calm as body physiology returns to a balanced state.

    mars in gemini ha ha ha

  17. …just want to add, after my anger burns rubber down the avenue or boulevard it isn’t a matter of whether or not i forgive the person who ticked me off, or the person who pushed my buttons to the point of malfunction, cos’ that is usually a given ~i can’t hold a grudge for a lifetime…maybe an hour or two after which point i’m all for talking things through.

    no, my nascar response guarentees *i am* effectively eliminated from the other person’s life if not forever, then for a very long, long time.

    guess it is my other mars aspects along for the ride that leaves me alone and standing and wondering what the hell just happened that folk don’t want to speak to me again… sigh

  18. Mars in Taurus.. I think about the only earth I have in my chart. I flame up fast with all the fire I have, and I’m easily offended and hurt. It dies down.. I forgive, but don’t forget. I wish I could. I have Libra rising as well as 2 other Libras in my chart. I’m a natural diplomat. I’m easygoing and put on a good face. But I rarely forget what someone has done.. it makes me too wary or cautious to be around them as closely or as comfortably as I was before.

    I’m a trusting soul. Too much so at times.

  19. i have mars in scoprio. there are very few people i’ve decided i’m done with, but the few i have, i didn’t look back. i don’t consider it holding a grudge, though, because i’m not mad. i’m just done is all.

  20. Odd…

    I’m the only Mars in Pisces who has posted so far. I find it an odd placement. I’m only coming to terms with it recently. I’m the original “artistic temperament”, but in a more Piscean, emotional artsy kinda way.

    I’m a visual artist and poet so I guess I fit the description well. This is compounded by my South Node and Moon in Pisces as well. Some days I feel the intense emotional and artistic energy is annoying and I’m pulled under. People always say “Oh it must be great to be an artist…you always get to create, etc”, but it’s a blessing and a curse (as are most things). The energy can be a burden if not used immediately or correctly. I find a lot of emotions get turned into myself if I don’t have a ready outlet (creative) for them. It’s more like I’m ruled by the impulse to create art rather than ‘it’s a fun thing I do’. I feel like it’s a primal urge.

    As far as anger goes, that is a cause for ambivalence within me as well. I’m an Aries (Sun) and (Mercury), but a Pisces (Moon) and (Mars), so I am torn between self-serving and self sacrificing impulses. My Mars (as well as several other planets) are located in the 3rd house, so it makes me even more apt to want to “express” (3rd house) my energy (mars) artistically (Pisces).

    (description):
    Mars in Pisces indicates that you will assert yourself in an emotional, sensitive, unassuming, co-operative, cultured, humorous, refined and caring manner. Energy levels can fluctuate day to day, much depends on your emotional state of mind. The incentive to action is governed not so much through logical assessment or practical necessity, but by intuition, ‘how you feel’ about a situation. Much of your personal energy is channelled into the subconscious mind, you are, therefore, naturally introspective and withdrawn. However, your refined and sensitive nature is well-suited to artistic, creative and imaginative endeavour – such as religious and spiritual work, music, romantic literature or humanitarian projects. Frequent periods of quite and solitude are necessary in order to recharge your energies. On occasion you can be devious, evasive, gloomy, indolent, changeable, irresolute and indecisive. Sex is synonymous with love and idealised romance. Your sensitive and self-conscious nature demands secrecy and privacy for sensual activity. Lovemaking is passionate, imaginative and emotionally elevating.

    0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
    (mars square neptune and ascendant)
    (moon conjunct mars)
    (mars trine uranus)

    Anyhow, that’s enough of that. hehee…

    😀

  21. Mars in Capricorn but stationary retrograde with bad aspects or something that nullifies the positive influences of Mars in Capricorn. I wonder what my mom has. She is an Aquarius. She is a woman of principle with her closest people and probably judges how we act when worst comes to worst. She probably has written people off. Some Aquarians including my friends are relatively demanding and have written friends off once it goes too far and in my opinion rather easily. I don’t think anyone’s offended me enough for me to write them off. Actually, I have written someone off who used me as a booty call but I knew them for a week and the writing off is a source of amusement to me.

  22. My Mars in Capricorn is in the 12th house, stationary retrograde, sextiling Jupiter which as far as I can tell is a bad thing?

  23. HA HA Dani! I once wrote a guy off because we went on a DATE and he said “Um, sniff snivel, I am not sure if I want a relationship.” EW!
    I hate when people think that they know what you want before asking! I wanted a booty call, damnit! Not some relationship! The thought that he thought I wanted one…

    As for my vote. I didn’t.

    I have a “done is done” attitude, but I still dream of people for years. I dream we are buddies and everything is cool, and I remember: oh yeah. You slept with my boyfriend. Oh yeah, you read my journal. Oh yeah, you basically assaulted me.

    Does anyone else have this problem? I see my old roomate, who I had a terrible falling out with (nasty Virgo man, can’t get into all of it), and I almost say hi! I must store my resentment somewhere…where did I put it?

    As for the friend I recently amputated, I just say to myself “I love you” over and over. And I do. I do love her. She’s just a gooddamn snake who treated me like shit and I had to cut her off. And yes, I dream about her. I wish I didn;t.

    Mars? 3rd house, Aries. Conjunct an Aries Venus; trine Neptune (12/sag) and Saturn (7/Leo).

  24. Aquarius mars 3rd house trine sun/venus/uranus in libra (11th) & saturn in gemini (7th). It really messes me up emotionally when people (especially those I’m attached to) do me wrong. I’ve gotten better at being objective (especially with those who I’m not close to) but I always hope for reconciliation and when I don’t think that’s obtainable then I resolve it within myself spiritually. Still, my Cappy moon (2nd) helps me to draw the line sometimes when I’m being taken advantage of and acknowledging someone as unhealthy for me to be around. Cappy moon square my venus/uranus.

  25. Taurus Mars, part of an earth grand trine. It takes me forever to get angry at anyone, but once you’re on my shit list, I’m done with you.

  26. i don’t do it very often, but when i do write someone off, that’s it. i can forgive, but i don’t forget.
    mars/pisces/7th.

  27. Oh, I’ve got a list. Don’t get on it. Because once there, there isn’t any coming off of it.

    It’s very short actually for my age I think. I’m nearing my **th birthday, so for there only to be three complete write-offs doesn’t seem so bad.

    1) ex-husband (Leo sun) who was physically abusive. Marriage was very short-lived AGES AGO!
    Numbers 2 & 3)are 2 women (Aquarius sun & Capricorn sun)who each mistreated my children in separate instances. The one lady was also a beeyatch to my Dad & sister in the same conflagaration.

    So OVER them with no hopes of return. Done is done.

    See, that’s not so bad and entirely justifiable it would seem to me. Crap on my kids and you are forever toast!

    I do get anger flares (Aries moon) where I want to stay mad at someone, but it’s usually relatively difficult for me and usually very short-lived.

    But when someone really hacks me off, like one person above stated, I may forgive, but I NEVER forget. I’m ever after more vigilant in watching those people for further signs of betrayal.

    One of the ladies above is related by marriage and I do have to see her at some family events, but the Scorpio ice comes out – I’m polite for other people’s sake, but only just barely. And it really chaps my hide to have to be polite to the woman, but I am for family’s sake.

    Scorpio stellium, but my Mars is doing all kinds of things I don’t yet understand astrologically:

    Mars in the Seventh House
    Mars in Taurus
    Sun Opposition Mars
    Venus Opposition Mars
    Mars Opposition Ascendant
    Mars Opposition Jupiter
    Mars Square Midheaven
    Mars Square Uranus

    Which I think means I’m very competitive, which is true, but since I’m not all that active socially, it hasn’t been that big of a problem for me.

  28. i have mars in scorpio, this placement is supposed to be very powerful, although iv’e never really cut anyone off (i’m only 20), but.. if i had to it would probably be there head 🙂

  29. i hv Mars in Scorpio.id say its Too powerful & i dont like it. & if i say i’m done..i really mean it. not cos im angry..but i dont care n u mean nothing to me anymore.

    s’times i choose to go back..not cos i change my mind..BUT i am back for REVENGE.& they never saw that coming.they dont see life in the same way again..

    i hv to use this “power” wisely n for a good course… Getting there

  30. Mars in Leo. I write people off all the time. That said, the people I write off have the following in common:

    1. At least one highly draining and annoying or harmful trait; and
    2. Enough resources at their disposal such that I don’t feel bad about not being the one to help them with their draining/annoying/harmful trait; and
    3. The unlikelihood that I could help them if I tried.

    Done and done.

  31. It takes a looong time to get me that pissed off, but if someone hurts me or disrespects me repeatedly, I cut them off. Mars in Aries in aspect to Saturn.

  32. Mars in Aries, sun in Pisces and Venus in Pisces; all conjunct.

    I cut my father and my sister completely out of my life for six year – My sister basically told me to call her if I -ever- needed anything and then when I was in bad shape one day and swallowed my pride, she told me she didn’t know what I wanted her to do for me. My father sided with her and that was that. I was D-O-N-E. Don’t build me up just to drop me when I need you most.

    We were never close to begin with. She’s 10 years older and my dad abandoned me when I was very young.

    I have a VERY hard time letting go of romantic relationships.

    I wonder if the shit my father (abandonment, mostly) made it easy for me to cut -him- out of my life, and the same shit makes it uneasy for me to let go of other stuff.

  33. I voted “I don’t know, it depends on the person” I have Mars in Libra right on the Ascendant. I am currently in a seventeen year long relationship that has been written off three times, first two times for months, the last time for then seven years…this time we are living together for five and a half years…just and example of how my relationships can last, or not…depends on time I guess!

  34. Done is definitely done for me. However, that being said, it takes an awful lot for me to actually write somebody off.

    Mars in Capricorn opposing Venus in Cancer & trine jupiter in Pisces.

  35. Mars in Libra (5th house). When someone pushes me to the point where I’m done – DONE takes on a new definition making any kind of reconciliation impossible.

    Over the years, I’ve been pushed to this point less and less. I like to think I’m better at choosing who I get close to.

    I’ve actually been working on this over the past year. Someone has pushed me to this point, and because it’s a close family bond, my heart feels extreme guilt at the DONENESS my head wants.

  36. It takes a lot to make it to my permanent shit list but the few people who have that distinction are done, done, done.

    Mars in Scorpio sq Pluto

  37. mars cancer. done is done. And my pluto and saturn contacts make sure that is true. However, usually I’ve been pushed pretty far to get to that point. My pisces venus does shed a tear, wonders why the world can’t all just be friends.

    The good news is that the older I get the more I distance myself the sooner with warning signs. I used to get burned burned before being done. Now, I heed the warning signs and take care of myself.

    What is hardest for me is when those around me question me about the people I’ve cut off. Like they don’t understand that you stop the pain at some point… huh. maybe they’ve got a mars that doesn’t cut people off.

  38. I’ve got Mars in Gemini & voted “I don’t know if I’m done. It depends on the other person” b/c it really does. I am almost always willing to give someone a 2nd (or 3rd, or 4th…) chance, but it also depends on the transgression. I rarely stay angry for very long.

  39. I have Mars in Capricorn. Done is done. And they are gone for good. Forgiveness is not my best thang.

    On the other hand, there doesn’t have to be an obvious blow up for me to cut them off. I have Neptune in 7th and can grant people far too much that they don’t actually posses. When I start seeing them clearly as liars, scammers etc. I can just withdraw my energy over time. No confrontation I just disappear slowly over time.

  40. I have Mars in Scorpio in 7th house. When I’m done, I’m done for good. It’ll start out as a grudge, but then to me it feels like a clean cut without that emotional energy. Unless the person really tried to ruin my life. Then I could see that person even years later and utterly ruin them. My Scorpio Mars essentially says, “Don’t play games with me or you will feel the sting and poison for years.”

  41. I often think about ending a relationship or friendship for a very long time before I come to a decision. Friendships are very valuable to me and for me it requires a lot of deep thought and analysis before I can decide whether to keep someone in my life or cut them loose. Once I have made a decision to completely cut off someone it takes almost a miracle for me to allow them back in. It all depends on what happened to lead me to think about severing the relationship. I am an Aquarius, both rising & descending…not sure if they way I deal with people has anything to do with that

  42. Mars in Leo. I let go of my best friend. I told her I couldn’t abide with her and we needed to part ways. She asked if we’d ever be friends again and I said maybe in about 20 years. We went our separate ways, states apart, and then I looked her up in a little over 20. I wasn’t always mad and I never forgot her. It was terribly painful but I’d add it was entirely necessary. I had always been at her beck and call and she knew it. One day I realized I was being played and that was the end of it. Things are even now. I never want to be anyone’s slave and I’d put myself in that position. I needed to go for my own good.

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