How Does A Person Mature?

saturn oranmentI don’t know the answer to any of these questions. I’m asking you, though I’d say this is a Saturn-themed topic.

How does a person mature?  Do you feel you are a mature person?

If so, was there a certain event that grew you up? Or was this a process?

What is the hallmark of a grown-up, if such a thing exists?

Can a person be mature in most areas but still capable of acting like a child?

Is maturity something to strive for? Is it an achievement, or is it something to be avoided for some reason?

Thanks for your thought on this!


How Does A Person Mature? — 38 Comments

  1. Yes, I think maturity should be a goal. We all need to grow up eventuallly. For me it was becoming a parent (at age thirtysix) was the threshold. I think without being a parent I would never be able to grow up and resume full responsibility of my behaviours. I am not saying that everybody needs to have a child to grow up. It is just my experience.

  2. A person can definitely be mature in some ways and still capable of acting like a child. I know, because I am that person. I pay all my bills on time, am debt-free, don’t litter, drive carefully, take good care of my dog, and speak/write articulately. However, as far as interpersonal relationships go, especially with the opposite sex (the one I’m attracted to physically) I’m less than a teenager. I’m concerned that it’s going to take several more lifetimes to grow up in that respect. I have Saturn in the 4th house and a Pluto/Venus opposition in the 1st/7th. I think those are the indicators of the above issue.

  3. I think the question and responses are the size of our galaxy; when engaged in change and ultimate maturing I think, grace happens peace evolves love comes , possibly with a tear or two hundred, remind yourself to work with your heart and realize some may never hear their heart beat, they might not hear the big drums even when they walk behind the parade, ce la vie

  4. I never act like a child, but sometimes, people tell me that I come across as a person who has a childlike innocence. Which is completely bewildering to me, because I try to be the exact opposite.
    I have Capricorn(maturity) moon(feeling) in 5th house (leo–children).

  5. When I was a kid, around 10, I used to believe three things. That my parents would stay together forever, that we’d never have a car wreck in the family, and something else. Then my parents got divorced and my father wrecked his work truck. Somewhere after that I figured all bets were off in life and forgot what the third thing was. I may not have been particularly mature by my standards now when I was a kid, but that realization that all bets were off went a long way at the time.

  6. Early childhood left me with a background hum of worry and pessimism, but also with a passionate inner life. I slowly matured to independence and responsibility, at my peak when nurturing someone I love deeply.
    I look back and see cycles, a wave of maturity reaching a crest and then bang! — rebellion, bolting to freedom. Eventually growing some maturity again to survive, with the pattern repeating every decade or so.
    Cap rising and North Node, Aries Sun, give outer impression of maturity with childlike playfulness. Uranus conjunct South Node at Descendant, square Aries Sun and Libra Neptune.

    • I can relate to the childhood patterns of worry. I think we both have mars twelfth house, there’s a possibility for me that this worry was from anger.

      I think some children in my family can relate but in our case this happens frequently to only children of overprotective parents. I am a heady combination of serious Oscar movies at a young age, no specific chores, the incentive to appear intellectual, etc. And being bailed out a lot when I messed up. But I’ve been loved to pieces. And nurtured.

      I think our theories of what children need change with trends and as we grow. Right now I seem to think the right thing is to involve them in chores, give them tastes of responsibility, allow them to fail, allow them to learn resilience. But my opinions change so much and being an actual mom is a whole different game.
      I have overprotectiveness deep in my roots.

      • Sorry I was speaking about only myself. I think my worry can come from a strain of overprotectiveness that some Pluto in Leo parents in my family brought to raising children.
        I think ideas about early childhood and how to raise a kid right change with every generation. I also think people like me who think about it over the course of their life their ideas change in every life stage they’re in. I worry that I’m too hard on mothers because at this moment I can.

  7. Interesting question. I just think of maturity as taking responsibility. For yourself, and for the needs of others. Not being selfish, hurtful, or leeching off of others. And to do so willingly, without complaint.

    I don’t think all adults need to have the same lifestyle. That’s where I have trouble with the concept of, not so much maturity, but of “being an adult.” But the two may be conflated. I see adulthood as a biological marker, maturity as responsibility, and any other attempts to define those things as a threat to the individual human spirit.

  8. I had responsibility at an early age (working at age 7) so I think that helped me personally.

    haha I can’t believe all the people I read who were making excuses for Cam Newton’s post-Superbowl press conference behavior: “He’s only 26, give him a break.” Huh?

  9. Adolescence used to be considered at an end at 18, or 19. But now it seems we’ve (at least US society) extended it to 30.

    • I used to believe this too. Certainly the men in the city can be alarmingly like this.
      My friends said this was due to urbanization and women getting more education and jobs. Less incentive to couple seriously for survival.

      TV shows are starting to echo this sense of being lost. Girls, new girl, broad city. More shows with everywomen dealing with the idea that their age doesn’t have built in meaning or steps anymore.

      Now that I am nearing this age I feel there is no turning back. I don’t have to follow the rules but. I am my own home and my house goes with me on my back. I can no longer relate to a lot of these shows easily.

  10. Whatever maturity I have has only come when the short-term pleasure generated by my immature choices is finally outweighed by the extreme pain they ultimately cause me. As Cappy Ben Franklin said, “If you do what you should not, you must bear what you would not.”

    • Very well put. As a Capricorn rising, I was the dependable child. I was given all the responsibilities, so was often assumed to be much older and more mature than I was. My real wake up call was a divorce I didn’t want after 15 years of marriage. I’m really struggling with my 8th house Pluto, Uranus, and Jupiter (all 3 are retrograde). I am an Aries sun and although I certainly don’t feel very “mature” a lot of the time, I’ve been forced to grow up and become more of an adult because of the painful divorce along with some other tragic life lessons on my journey. It’s been an eye opening experience on what I have and haven’t been doing right or wrong in this life.

  11. Interesting question. Is Maturity the ability to handle anything that life throws at you? I used to think that. As a Cap rising, I had responsibility thrust on me at 24 when my father died. I learned to work with it and am considered dependable. The big question for me, now with Pluto transiting my 1st house, is I try so hard to assuage and take care of everyone’s feelings…but what about my feelings? Don’t they deserve to be acknowledged? Pleaed to sayvthat I will be working on my needs and desires for a while 🙂

  12. I think it’s taught to us by kind souls willing to expend their time, and tenderness, needed to teach us but, if that’s missing, maturity is learned the hard way…through suffering and “stepping in it.” I’m sure most of us would prefer a brush with the former but not everyone has the time, nor patience, so whole lots of slipping on the banana peel takes place in the latter.

  13. I’d say maturity is when you’re able to follow the rules and usually do. But also know when it’s appropriate to break them rather than follow blindly. Essentially you’ve learned how to handle situations without needing someone else to tell you how to act.

    Isn’t that how we successfully conquer our saturns? By becoming our own authority and taking responsibility for our choices.

  14. There are many people who are high-functioning, successful and mature in their work lives but revert to childish and/or childlike behavior in their personal relationships so sure, you can be both at once.

  15. There is serious research that has been done that the brain is not fully wired up and formed, especially in men, till the age of 25. I think maturity is something to strive for, and I like to think of it as growing into Wisdom.

  16. Maturity comes when you seem to have less time for all of the silly and inane activities that you used to have, which happened to me at 27 at the beginnings of my Saturn Return. I no longer was interested in having as many friends; just goals and outcomes. I just turned 31 and hope the return has ended because I want to have more fun despite it all.

  17. I think maturity is knowing you have a choice and making the righteous one. And just learning from your damn mistakes. Trying to make them right in the present. Knowing all we have is now and also knowing that the choices we make now affect things in the future. So I guess it’s knowing your place in time. Using the power that is given to us all to be what we want to be. Realizing this in every fiber of our being and on every level of life.
    I think it’s a process and a worthy goal. Maybe not an achievement but a state of understanding. I think real maturity is practiced in every area so no I don’t think its compartmentalized.

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