Should I Leave My Lover?

Trying to decide whether to stay or go?Β Β Here’s a simple no-fail criteria for ya.

Are you trying to decide whether or not to stay in a partnership? Tell us!

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Comments

Should I Leave My Lover? — 25 Comments

  1. We are currently negotiating in a number of areas, who works/how much at paying jobs, who spends/how much on necessary stuff, who cooks and cleans and cares for family members/how much/how often at home. And our mutual goal is to have a sane, fair life together where we both put just enough time in working so we can have fun playing. πŸ™‚

    Saturn in Virgo conjunct my Virgo stellium made for a very rough time in the relationship, I’m glad we got through that and are making future plans.

  2. The long-distance guy wrote me last night and said he wanted to pursue a real relationship when he comes back home for good in May. I really had to think about this… but your video gave me the answer. If this has any chance of working out, I need to commit to waiting for him, though it will be hard because I miss male company so much. Match.com has produced dud after dud, no one even comes close to him. He says I’m worth waiting for, and he hopes he is, too. So here we go. I just emailed him and said I agreed to but we would have to both commit to this and define some expectations.

  3. Perfectly true, always, even when Saturn is not in Libra.

    I was going to write here some metaphor like, if two people are on different ships going different directions, eventually they’re going pass each other by. Then I remembered my ex used to say things like this because in his mind his course was charted and I could follow along or not. The intimation was that my direction was *wrong* and his was *right*. So…even if it means giving up your relationship that doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path, and the other person is not.

    It was an important distinction for me to make to myself.

  4. Thanks for this! I can see that my relationship with freelance work and Ottawa won’t work out. They keep saying there isn’t enough work. There is no shared goal. They are who they are and I’m an odd duck given no certainty. I have a pre-interview I’ll continue to be available for for a full-time gig that’s out of province. It holds a lot of win-wins that I like.

  5. Elsa this is my first time watching one of your videos. It’s very interesting and informative. Although if you don’t mind, I’d like to make a suggestion. Is there anyway you could talk a little slower? When I pay attention to people I listen and watch, trying to get a “full view” and it seems like you were rushing the lesson, which sort of detracted from the message for me. I know you’ve got a certain way you do things but I thought you wouldn’t mind hearing the opinion of someone “new” to your commentaries and vlogs.

  6. This is great advice E! Thanks for new video.

    The Aussie and I will be good then – we have many common goals. It makes me happy to know that we’re heading in the right direction particularly after hearing your advice.

    Thanks!

  7. It’s gonna be tough getting anything out of this quiet and secretive Virgo I have, but I really want to try and make things work, even if it’s just a friendship. Feels like I’m putting in too much effort for little reward, though.

  8. Just 15 hours ago, my relationship was severely strained by my lack of trust in my Neptune square Venus partner. I’ve tried for exactly a year, to put past stuff behind me (his serial flirting and possibly more…) I get to that point where I feel fine about us, then a voice in my head brings up doubts. When I don’t trust my intuition, my body fails me. So I told him that tomorrow I’m asking questions of someone else as he has changed his story so many white lie times. Boom! My handsome Scorpio is now accusing, abusing, scared e.g. If I don’t trust him it’s over. Neptune just this week moved out of his fifth and I’m commitment phobic. Sure will miss him.

  9. Thanks for this. Lately, Saturn in Libra has been showing me what I’ve learned and where I need to focus. My marriage is an area of focus. This video is perfectly timed.

  10. Definitely excellent advice. But what if the whole goal thing appears to be the problem in the first place? If there’s a power struggle then how on earth will we be able to move toward a goal together? I say black, you say white, I say white and then you say black. My eyes are rolling around in my head at this point. Everything you predicted in the first consult I had about this man has come true. I’m in hell on earth!

  11. I am sorry, Bananas. πŸ™ But in reality, if you won’t walk if not on the same path, but towards the same goal, then you’re headed towards separation.

    Sometimes giving in is a very strong play…especially when you love the person and know you’re right.

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