Homosexuality and Suicide: A Cautionary Tale

This is for Mercury in Scorpio and today’s Moon in Capricorn. Regarding the young man from the soldier’s church who committed suicide last week.

“I went in there and his mother is devastated. His girlfriend… they were going to get married and she is devastated. I mean, devastated. Why does someone do that, P? What is so bad you have to go and kill yourself?”

I didn’t answer.

“I had them both in my classes. He was in the church and he met her… she was an abused kid. She was from an abusive background and then she met him, they got hooked up and decided to marry. She came to church and to my classes because she was going to convert so they could get married.”

“I see.”

“Yeah, and she worked real hard. She’s a good kid, they both were. So they were both taking the classes and then he was a year older… left for college and she was going to follow him a year later. But now he’s dead. He’s dead, P. I can barely believe it. What’s she going to do? I don’t see how she can ever get over this.”

I didn’t say anything.

“They were in there… they are crying their eyes out, P. The women are devastated. I mean the mother is devastated. The girl is devastated. He was all she had and why? What could have been so bad to cause him to do something like this?” he asked.

“Well, I have an idea if you want to hear it.”

“Tell me.”

“Well let’s see. He’s leaves there and he’s supposed to be over here, going to college. So he tells one person he’s going one place, tells the other he’s going the other place but instead he’s in San Francisco.”


“And he puts all this identification on his body… takes his cell phone, texts both his parents, this is not your fault, sets the cell phone down where it can be found and then jumps from the bridge.”

“Yep, that’s what he did.”

“He was probably gay,” I said. “Probably gay and what’s he supposed to do? He’s young and some of these kids are in circumstances where they just can’t bring themselves to confide in anyone. Who can he tell that is not going to go crazy on him? No one, so this is what happens. It just goes to show you that you have to allow your children the option of being gay because some of them are gay. And if you won’t accommodate this, you put your kid at risk of having to jump from a bridge to escape and there is no excuse for that. You simply have to tell your kid the sky is not going to fall if they are gay. And you see how this fits. He’s Catholic so that’s a good reason… he can postpone having sex with the girl which he doesn’t want to have anyway. Can’t make her feel very desirable. Everyone is hiding.”

“His girlfriend? I know her pretty well and I just don’t think she’s going to be able to recover from this.”

“Well she might if she knew what happened. If she knew what drove him and understood it was not her fault she might have a chance but it will probably never occur to her seeing as she is part of a community where no one is going to talk about this. I would tell her if I could. It sounds like she’s been through all kinds of things. Tossed around by her family and now this. How much is one 18-year-old supposed to take?”

“She’s been through a lot.”

“Well I would tell her, that’s all I can say. I would clue her into what it seems is the reality of this situation. No way should she have to carry this. I have met people doing astrology who have suffered their whole life due something like this. They believe a myth and that’s it. The rest of their life is impacted and for what?”

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Homosexuality and Suicide: A Cautionary Tale — 11 Comments

  1. It’s impacted for a reason, I believe, although being too close to a similar situation that just happened to me as well, it’s hard to see why.

  2. dreamsareality – me too. That’s why I told him this because had I not, it would have never occurred. I am hoping some clue leaks back to her… it is also why I posted this. Someone somewhere, be spared.

  3. i hate the way the adult world can put children into positions where they feel there’s no way out. no way to live who they are.
    two of my class (of 133) who graduated killed themselves in the first three years out of school. this little sheltered new england community that pretends “nothing happens here” but of course that isn’t true…. and there’s massive pressure to mold yourself to fit a particular set of expectations. i was lucky i spent part of my life in a real city.

    and once i got out things got better pretty fast, but how do you tell kids in the middle of something awful that if they can just stick it out a little while longer they’ll be able to make more choices for themselves? that they could probably leave, if they wanted to? it looks like forever at 16.

    although he was old enough he could have left, i gathered? but perhaps he couldn’t bear doing that to his family and fiance….

  4. I am of the belief that there are also many young women who abort babies for this very same lack of a supportive loving environment. The world will not end if you get pregnant and there are other options rather than abortion. We need lots more compassionate LOVE peeps! Mommies & Poppies who will not go ballistic on these kiddos.

    I’m hoping The Soldier finds some way to clue this young girl in, i.e. tosses her a lifeline of her own.

  5. This is such a clear illustration of tragedy in action. For those of us who could care less what someone’s sexual orientation is, this tale is mind-boggling. Unfortunately, there are many cultures that find same sex relationships taboo. I keep hoping that eventually this particular prejudice will become a historical footnote but the little voice in the back of my 12th Mercury in Scorpio mind goes “unlikely . . .” damn

  6. This is so sad. Gay teenagers at at huge risk of suicide. Coming from his background his problem was problably not only coming out to others, but also accepting it in himself, being ok with this identity. He problably grew up listening to how god abominates homossexuals and how freaky and disgusting they are, and then finds himself feeling he might be gay, and nothing in his environment points out a good exit for this situation. no light at the end of the tunnel.
    I think this is the saddest and revolting thing.

    I’m leaving a link of a documentary that is about suicides on the golden gate bridge. they filmed it non stop for 2 years. and reported 24 (i think) successful suicides. they then interview famillies and people passing by. it’s very neutral.. kind of zen and deeply 8th house. I’ve seen it several times. you can see it online here:


  7. Gay might be it, but lots of people get depressed when they go away to school. Jumping from the Golden Gate might just seem the thing to do.

    [‘I’m guessing he left no other message?’]

  8. i saw the same documentary as viv about two months ago, and thought of it reading this post. it’s a pretty intense movie, especially since it shows the people actually jumping off the bridge.

  9. Food for thought: How often have you felt an urge to take action, and DID, only to discover later that the action you took totally missed the point of what issue(s) needed to be addressed?

    Too bad with suicide there is no hindsight option…

  10. “how do you tell kids in the middle of something awful that if they can just stick it out a little while longer they’ll be able to make more choices for themselves? that they could probably leave, if they wanted to? it looks like forever at 16.”

    wyrdling that is SO true… you basically have to ask them to take your word for it, which is a lot to ask when everything in their experience (thus far) says otherwise…

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