I have a very difficult time keeping people in my life. Most people have friends who have been around for years and years. I don’t have that. Even my parents each have their separate lives; although are they are there for me if I need something, they are not really a part of my life.
Regarding having people in my life, I would like to know if it is me, them, or a combination. I do know I put up barriers because of childhood, and family stuff. What can I do to break down the barriers, and finally find friends (and more) who stay around?
What an interesting question. I think you are the cause of the conditions in your life, but I don’t want you to take that as a criticism. It’s just that you’re a Double Sagittarius going on 50 and by now you have met scads of people and each of them has been an individual. These individuals would have various levels of desire and capacity to maintain a relationship but since this has never occurred, I have to think that you are factor and your chart supports this theory.
With an Aquarius Moon and a 1st house packed to the gills with Sagittarius, you are an inordinately independent person who is not likely to suffer restriction of any kind. If there were ever an entity built for “leaving” it is you.
Now while the 1st house represents the self, the opposite house (the 7th) represents the other. People with a lot of planets in their 1st house focus on themselves (self-centeredness) while people with a lot of planets in the 7th house focus on the other (co-dependence).
Those are negative words but I want you to get the polarity. Because where ideally there is some kind of balance, you have a massive emphasis on one side of this equation. So if you want to solve this you are going to have to work very hard at cultivating this other mindset that is really very foreign to you.
But you are a Sadge! And Sadge loves a foreign land! So there is hope and this is how I would suggest you approach this:
Next time you meet someone you would like to cultivate as a “rest of your life” friend, ask yourself, “What can I do for this person?” How can you be thoughtful? What do they want and need?
I think you will find this quite challenging but very rewarding. And watch yourself because it’s easy to slip… “I want this person in my life so I am going to do this…” is very different from, “I love this person and want them to be happy.”
Get it? You have to care for the other as much as you care for yourself and when you manage this, relationships last.