Heavy Heart In Aurora, Colorado

My heart feels heavy today, as I grapple with assimilating the loss to my community and consider how to move ahead.

School starts in two weeks and parents like myself, are running around trying get our kids set for this. I live about 1/2 mile from the theater and reminders of the tragedy are everywhere. I have avoided driving by the theater, which my family has frequented for more than 15 years, but there are signs in remembrance on fences and light poles and news crews, everywhere.  I have to absorb this in doses so as not to be overwhelmed.

I am the President of the local Woman’s Club in Aurora, working hard to build and be part of something positive in this community. I am completely dedicated to this cause and hope that my neighbors are inspired to come together in ways such as this, so we can support and even distract each other from what looks to be very trying times ahead.

I’ve read about how no one joins anything anymore and I feel just the opposite. I want to be part of something. I want to contribute and stand up for my beliefs. I want to be a person who others can rely on. I want to resolve problems and not create them.

I am so sorry for the families who have been affected by the shooting, especially those who have lost a loved one. I will try to be a better person because of this and I only hope that I am able.


Heavy Heart In Aurora, Colorado — 36 Comments

  1. I know how it feels to have a whirlwind come through the community that you have lived in, loved in, built in. I know what it feels like to watch your neighbors suffer. I know how it feels for it to play out in the media. It’s a surreal experience that changes everybody forever. My heart goes out to your whole community. I’m so sorry this has happened Elsa. I vow to be a better community member as well.

  2. Seems like the time for everybody to step up and be a hero, even in the small ways of contributing to a positive support system. Prayers and blessings to your community.

  3. (((Aurora)))

    I’m glad you’ve set your mind on building and contributing something positive to your community. You’re very inspiring. That is the way we should all be going for, not the opposite one.

    I’m so sorry for all the lives that’ve been stopped so abruptly and I’m sorry for all the people who’s loved ones have been taken away from them. This shouldn’t have happened.

  4. I do try to pitch in for my community. Like allowing 50 non-drug-using teenage boys to have their party at my house! I just want to see more and more and more or this. I am tired of the tearing down. I want to see our community hit bottom and build up from here.

  5. Yup, as I keep telling the kids around me, who think I’m a crazy old lady for talking to them many times, it’s all about community. That is what is going to carry us all through the coming years. It’s time for everyone to get off their butts and to start looking out for others, not just themselves. Kudos to you Elsa, and my hope of healing and regeneration to you and your family and your community.

  6. I think this has awakened in people exactly what you are expressing – how can we rebuild together and contribute toward a better shared sense of community.

  7. The unthinkable assault in Aurora is very painful for me, also…my condolences to all. I want to address the incidents that occur every day in our nation and around the world. My mother, at the age of 79, was the victim of a home invasion robbery twelve years ago. It was a brutal physical assault that she survived only to go mentally insane several months later and she has never regained mental composure…it has ruined her remaining life and greatly affected her children’s lives. The perpetrator was a young man high on drugs…a mini-terrorist. Almost every day in my city, there are these incidents of the small-scale compared to Aurora, but just as senseless and damaging. Add the larger-scale local and global incidents of terrorism, such as 9-11-2001, the Oklahoma City bombing, the current crisis in Syria, with 19,000 civilians dead, Mexico’s drug cartel 45,000 mass murders, etc. It seems so awful, yet unreal and abstract until it happens to YOU or SOMEONE YOU KNOW. As horrid as the massacre in Aurora is, most of the nation will move on with the next awful something. I wish that every one would stay focused on the violence that seems to be such a part of our every day lives and try to find solutions to reducing this behavior. I don’t really want to believe that this is insurmountable. It was bad enough considering only handguns, but assault rifles and explosives that can take down a hundred souls in one minute? How do we stop this?

  8. (((Elsa and Aurora))) How blessed is your community to have a “Dangerous Old Woman” like you to do the light for rebuilding. “Dangerous” in its original meaning meant “protector” … as in, ‘You, and you, and you can stand in my danger.’ All is in the process of bottoming out, so it can rebuild. Embracing you, Elsa!

  9. Been thinking of you Elsa, wondering if this was near you. (((Aurora))). So, so sorry for the loss and pain you are all bearing. Blessings to you all.

  10. Hi Elsa — I am so sorry. This is my 3rd massacre in Colorado since I moved here, 2 having been at schools. You probably have PTSS. I had it post 9/11 when I saw dozens of people I know murdered.

    The answer does lie in activism — and we all need to speak out and convince our politicians to ban assault weapons and also ban the online sale of ammunition. If I cannot by allergy medicine at Walmart without being scrutinized and signing my life away — how is it possible that this person bought enough bullets online to do this damage?

    The truth stings. Our society is too ill to be trusted with assault weapons. There’s no justification for such weapons outside of military or law enforcement.

  11. (((Elsa))) I don’t know what else to say. Everything seems trite. Hope you feel my love coming through and lifting you all up. I’m so sorry.

  12. Elsa thank you for being social in such a antisocial world.. Where I live violence is pretty common its easy to get down watching all the shit go down.. Our corrupt justice system doesn’t help either.. Hopefully nothing like this happens in Aurora again.


  13. ”I want to be a person who others can rely on.”

    And that’s how something beautiful can rise from something ugly. There will be more people like you who, in this distressed times, feel he need to reach out to each other and make the foundation of Aurora strong.

  14. ((aurora))

    i think.. the human capacity for senseless horror is one of the primary reasons we _need_ strong communities. to fight back and remain resilient in the face of it.

  15. Elsa, my beloved girlfriend and I read and consult your site here in Philly almost daily. I personally had NO idea you actually LIVE in Aurora. I am sending so much light and love and prayers and rainbows to you and your whole community. I am thinking of you all and I sit in gratitude for your efforts and work around astrology. Peace, peace, peace – Natalie

  16. Can’t help but recall that days ago you felt the pulsing sensation that you ought to slow down and focus on certain aspects. I think you mentioned your hand or wrist aching? I have to go back and look at that… could it have been a premonition? Is that ache transmitting a message, too, and if so, what?

  17. (((Elsa))) you are such a wonderful positive light. You and your city will recover from this horrible thing. I for one am very glad you nor any of your family members were not in that Theater at the time it happened. Terribly sorry and saddened by this horrible event and my heart goes out to the family and friends of those who were injured and killed. Even to those who happened to escape injury but where there I feel for them as well that had to be a nightmare.

  18. This may not be much of a consolation but I have heard that Christian Bale is in Aurora meeting with Aurora theater shooting victims.

  19. Please keep the faith!
    Psychopathy is complex and confusing.
    I have been reading up on it since 2010. Here are my best resources: ; also Robert D. Hare and Paul Babiak – authors and speakers; Sandra L. Brown – Institute for Relational Harm Reduction.
    The DSM does not capture psychopathy of this extent, but it’s clearly going to be addressed better in the new, upcoming edition.
    It is very important to have public education about the destruction wreaked upon society by criminal psychopaths – please do so too, readers. Good books: Snakes in Suits and Women Who Love Psychopaths. Many psychopaths have exceptionally high IQ’s and zero empathy. They cannot relate to the pain normal people feel.
    Also, please note that “The Joker” unleashed this massacre on the anniversary of the Norwegian mass murderer Breivik!!! He was competing for “glory”. They have no conscience, but are very vain: one man up…
    Aurora is in my prayers.

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