I had been with my daughter’s father for two years and a half, when he decided to cheat on me and kick me and my daughter out of our apartment. That was back in June. I left and stayed with my sister until I found a job and an apartment, we’ve (my daughter and I) have been doing ok. Then all the sudden, her father came back and said he wanted to fix things.
At first I said yes, and then changed my mind – which is understandable considering my whole life was ripped away from me in one night. I went from having a fiancÆ’
Dear Single Mother,
I am sorry for all you’ve been through. You sound as if you’re depressed so keep an eye on that because if you start to drop lower you may want to see a professional. Meantime, I’ll sort this out for you and try to answer some of the questions dogging you, in the hope it helps you to get through this patch so you can move along.
I think your ex is right when he says he does not see this working out, but the reason has nothing to do with you. The fact is, he is a 20 year old boy, whereas you are a 20 year old woman / mother and I think it will help if you can get this clear in your mind.
See, you’re a Capricorn rising with a Capricorn Moon. This describes a mature person and it’s obvious from your post, your sense of responsibility to your daughter, etc. that the chart is accurate. And I bet if you look back over the course of your relationship, you will see this guy was a baby all along… and you were the mother figure.
As to why he does what he does and has done what he has done, it’s because he can. Do babies have to be responsible? Of course not. They’re babies. No one expects anything of a baby, most of all not the baby themselves and this is what you need to absorb.
Because it’s the rejection that’s killing you. Capricorn is so sensitive to rejection and I think it will help if you can see you have not been rejected by a man. You’ve been rejected by someone utterly incapable of relationship and it doesn’t matter who this guy ends up with. What girl, I mean. Whoever gets him is going to have a baby on her hands and what good is that when you’re looking for a man? Which is the key by the way, so please listen up.
With a chart full of Capricorn and Cancer on the 7th house, you’re a natural parent and so you’re going to be looking for children. And you found one with this guy! But now you have a real baby so no use for a baby-man!
And if you can understand and internalize this, you can be done with baby-men forever. And that would be a hell of a trick for a 20 year old, so this is my advice and here is your map:
1) Get it through your head that this guy is a baby.
1) Cop to the fact that you mothered him so you can identify your pattern.
2) Understand he is not going to grow up anytime soon (probably never).
3) Commit to mothering your child/children… from now on, real babies and nothing but
4) Look for real, grown up MAN who can partner with you
5) Have a happy life