I was told that people made amazing compromises, later in life, to avoid being alone. I was in my thirties at the time. I didn’t really understand. I understand now as I’ve witnessed this myself.
I think the current collective mindset is heading for a violent correction. See – High-Flying People Come Down To Earth. Individuals will realize that a partner can’t provide you a blissful feeling, day in and day out for decades. It’s not realistic.
This is true of a job too. We have some idea these days that we’re supposed to love our jobs. If you’re lucky, this will be the case.
In other cases. you may not love your job but you may get some satisfaction, knowing you can do it. You have some talent or skill and you’re putting it to use.
In many cases a person may not like their job at all. It doesn’t matter. They have to do it anyway, to provide for themselves or their families. They look for satisfaction, outside their workday.
Have you compromised in your life?
I think some people equate “compromise” with “failure”. I tend to think compromise and maturity are more closely tied. Saturn, exalted in Libra.
What do you think.
I have compromised myself in my career time and again and as Saturn is touring my first house and squaring my 10th house Sun I have had to say NO MORE. I thought a change I made a year ago was a radical break that really was just an adjustment and I am finding myself going in a completely different direction. Interestingly enough the new direction was the direction I started out on during my Saturn Return and got scared and compromised myself by going back to the old pattern. Compromise can be mature and healthy especially in inter personal relationships. But the career compromises I have made became one compromise after another where I continually chipped away at me until there was nothing left to give. Compromises on compromises on compromises are often an indication you need a new path, at least this has been my experience.
I was always willing to temporarily compromise by tolerating good/bad behavior in a man romantically if the physical chemistry is good. For some of us it is worth it. Better choices are for those who have them available.
It’s always worthwhile to invest in yourself but you still may not get what you want. I used to believe in the law of attraction, now I believe in either you’re lucky or you’re not.
I think the younger you are, the more you are able to get away with not compromising, simply because there are more chances available. For instance, in my career, when I was younger I was unwilling to take shit off my bosses because I knew if I quit, there was something better waiting on the horizon; and I was right. But now, in my late 50’s, with the job market the way it is and the fact that insuring someone of my age costs twice as much as it does with someone younger, I’m more inclined to shrug it off when my boss is an ass. It doesn’t mean I don’t look at other jobs, it simply means I am not going to take the risks I took when I was younger.
Relationally, if one is uncompromising, those around them are likely over-compromising. Ever known a narcissist? The extreme example, but yikes, everyone is white noise beyond their ability to comply/complete.
Not compromising in career has a cost, too. “I walk the line” and walk it alone pretty much sums it up. Still, some things feel like choking down a hairball & then it’s easy, no matter the cost.
what does ‘everyone is white noise beyond their ability to comply/complete’ mean?
Compromise has meant different things to me over time. During the career years when I earned an income and benefits for a growing family, I didn’t see it as compromise. I was striving and feeding my Leo Sun in a public way and paying a mortgage that would later be the compromise too costly for a marriage that would not last. Twenty years later: compromise after my 2nd Saturn Return brought all the chickens to roost, as you like to say Elsa. Pluto was now in my 12th House and Saturn, my chart ruler, was demanding cleaning and clearing my practices of compromise.
I have been humbled and reality checked over and over again in the second half of life. It’s not an easy process, but I love how real my life feels. Compressed (Saturn and Pluto)power source through compromise I see what you’re saying about maturation and Libra. It’s taken decades, but whose rushing. Inch-by-inch does it … literally.
My whole life has been fraught with arm-twisting compromise and I’m at the age where I don’t want to compromise anymore. That doesn’t mean that I’m an entitled brat but rather that I want to set the terms of my life as much as possible instead of juggling a seemingly endless complex set of issues and dramas that aren’t owned by me. It’s just draining the energy out of me right now.
This opinion has been sponsored by:
transit Pluto square Pluto and transit Uranus square Mercury *bows*
Sometimes we even get bored with ourselves. Hehe.
I do think it’s possible to love or be satisfied by your job. You just may find yourself less comfortable or work harder
I’ve seen what happens when some of my friends just fell into marriages with dudes they didn’t know very well. It wasn’t pretty. “I was lonely.” Uh-oh. I don’t really know what to say to women who wants husbands and kids ASAP who can’t find just the right fit in time, though. You have to have a really good fit with a marriage, but if you want kids and don’t want to have them alone…I don’t know what to tell you on that one.
As for work, you gotta do what you can to keep yourself alive, eating and housed.
For people who don’t find the right fit in time, the answer is either suffer a continuous block of life-destroying loneliness or break it up with ill-fated relationships or marriages that at least offer some temporary benefits. There isn’t a good answer, there’s really only what’s available.
Yes, I compromise a lot. Basically I do what my husband prefers. Over and over again. He just doesn’t get it. At this point, I’m like, eh. He does a lot of other things that are good.
“I tend to think compromise and maturity are more closely tied” (Elsa)
” I used to believe in the law of attraction, now I believe in either you’re lucky or you’re not.”
“There isn’t a good answer, there’s really only what’s available. (ScottishFoldSoul)
I’ll totally agree with above statements. I’ve always been unlucky, no matter how positive my frame of mind was. So I made lots of compromises for the sake of survival.
Staying in jobs with bullying managers so as to have food and money to pay the bills. Being with guys who are not what I’d like so as not to be totally alone.
And for sure I took risks when younger, when more possibilities were available – but after a certain age, I’d feel a fool to just quit my job and break up in the hope that all of a sudden I’ll get lucky. If I do get lucky (still looking for something better…) I’ll drop job + guy and go for the better solution.
Astro I believe is responsible: Venus and Saturn in my 8th (survival tactics), Pluto & Uranus on my Asc (bad luck).
in the past I didn’t believe in jumping ship/out of a relationship just because the man was cruel/abusive/promiscuis, all those horrible things any human being should have with a partner. I am the type all the way in or not at all, so if I was unfortunate then it was how it was. (looking back and seeing my own personality, people would say I’m a doormat) so I suppose I did because I compromised. i’m sure there were plenty of young men around to “rescue” me, but I never let them in because I felt that there was something bad about doing that inside me, a lack of loyalty, against nature. and I believe in karma too. maybe I get this pathology from upbringing.
I have Uranus in my 10th house (Leo). I put compromise among the Uranian actions – adapt, create, fit, reinvent.
My chart ruler, Venus (Cancer) is in my 9th house: discovery, exploration.. mapping (aspect to Virgo Pluto, 11th house).
Interesting. I think we should compromise somtimes sure…stability is the best after a certain age imo. But I think we all deserve joy in our lives. There should always be something that motivates you to get up in the morning. Some kind of passion.
Maybe our capacity for joy lies in what we are able to create. Even if it only reaches delusion and nothing concrete. Better to live that delusion than die joyless, passion less. If there is nothing concrete then nothing is compromised. All is weaved into the process.
We always have to compromise.
I had a great job and did it very well. But, I couldn’t take it to the next level because I was a single mom and had to have a foot on the ground for my kids. Period. They had no one else. So, I could have taken it to the top, but I had to keep it in the middle so I could leave to take kids to practice and to the doctor. My male counterparts had wives that did this for them so they were able to soar above me. Even the ones who weren’t as talented with the work.
If I could go back and do it over again, I would still take my kids over the work. So, is that a compromise?
That’s how I see my life too soup. I’m always winning something when I compromise.
I have Saturn in libra. I think it’s a wise thing to just let go of how I think things should be. So that’s a big compromise I guess. But the rewards of that outwieigh the loss by a wide margin. So in that way I don’t feel like I’m losing anything. It’s like giving a nickel to get back a dollar.
The hardest part is trying to gauge when you have over-compromised or settled for too little. I have often swung between total egocentric views into unrewarding sacrifices and have still not found the right balance at age 57! this seems to hit almost every area of my life. Live and maybe not learn? Haha.
yes i have compromised many times in my life and i think everyone has to compromise in some situations of a part of life and this compromise will always make you better and gives more understanding to what the life is.