Going To Funerals

funeral potatoesI once knew a man with five planets in Scorpio. His mother was also a Scorpio. She loved going to funerals. She’d never miss a one, within a 50 mile radius. She always brought a casserole.

She was church-y (his description). He said she had a funeral to go to most weeks, so these casseroles were sort of unending.

She didn’t have to know you that well to go to your funeral, or even know you at all. She might know your sister or your daughter or your brother. You get the idea. This gal was going to your funeral and that’s just all there was to it!

I thought of this because, satori went to two funerals in a day. I could never have done that. I told her that it may be the right thing to do…but I’d have stayed home. I could not have handled it.

I remember debating this, decades ago. You’re supposed to go pay your respects to the dead. People will judge a person who does not go pay their respects.

I argued on the non-judgmental side, of course. I think people mourn in different ways.  You can be at a funeral for show, right?  And you can just as easy be at home, grieving deeply.

I’ve seen numerous people over the years, incapacitated by death. We’ve got people who put “funeral potatoes” on Pinterest to make up for them.

How do you feel about going to funerals?  Do you want people to go to yours?

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Comments

Going To Funerals — 79 Comments

  1. I don’t mind attending funerals for people who I knew. When it comes to my friends or family, we should at least pay our respects, if possible.

    My friend’s father (whom I’d never met) had been struggling with cancer for a few years and crossed over back in the spring. I went to show support for my friend and her family at the wake but it was the awkwardest thing I’ve ever done. The home was filled to the brim with their extended family and friends & colleagues of the deceased that I didn’t recognize at all. And it felt soooo weird to be there at such an intimate gathering of their closest people and to be an outsider who didn’t know the man at all simply felt wrong on a core level. I gave her and her family hugs and condolences and exited stage right ASAP.

    That’s the last time I’ll attend a funeral service for someone I don’t know. But I can always show my support for the family by baking meals, sending cards, flowers, and offering a shoulder.

    Also, weddings. Especially for people who are like super extended family that I haven’t seen in awhile or barely know. That’s so awkward. The gaudy decorations. The cheap liquor. The awful food. The whole forced socialization of seating. The crappy DJ. The DVD’s with the couple’s love story. My kids continuously begging for more cake.
    No, thank you.

    My own wedding was a private affair and I liked it that way. Nuptials are a very intimate thing and I didn’t want the whole world watching while we made a big debacle (and debt) out of it. I want my funeral the same way. An intimate affair. Also, I want my body to become a tree pod instead of being placed into a $15,000 coffin to rot, lol.

    I find the thought of my future descendants visiting my tree, staying cool under my shade, climbing my branches, carving love notes in my branch very comforting. I love fall so my plot will always be nourished by recycling of dead leaves. Why not be useful in our afterlife… ?

  2. I do go to funerals…depending on how well I know their family member. As a support for the. But I do limit my time. Maybe 5 minutes, 10 tops.
    I’ve donated my body. Use what you can for the living, then use the rest for research.
    If anyone “wants to do something” after I”m dead that’s up to them of course. I do recognize its somewhat cathartic for people to get together. If they feel the need, go to a restaurant, have some burgers and beers! Get tipsy or drunk as ya want!

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