Getting More From Your Interactions With Others

jupiterThe concept of “added value” has come up for me over the last few days. I’m using this term for my own purpose so let me explain it.

If I have a discussion with someone and they agree with everything I say, I get a benefit in that I’m supported and validated. If they disagree with everything I say, I may feel frustrated or it may be interesting to me or whatever. But the best interactions provide a clear benefit.

I ran across this a few days ago when I was hit with something pretty serious. The person I talked to about it mentioned something I had not thought of.  This information increased my understanding of my situation. This is added value.

Then yesterday, I had a consultation with a man – clearly brainy. He’s also Cardinal in nature.

The consultation was about the synastry between two charts. He provided me with an exhaustive list of all the connections between the chart… which I ignored.

Now that’s funny, sort of.  But I ignored his work because his work is perfect, yet he still hired me.  Am I suppose to run through his thoughts and say, yes, yes, and yes?  I don’t think a person should be paid for such a thing.  Instead, I approached the comparison of the charts in my way, which happens to be nearly diametrically opposed to his way.

Most of you know how I work. I take all the pieces and come up with the big, cohesive picture and the unpinnings of the charts. I wind up with a true, balanced narrative that is actionable.  Mars conjunct Mercury in the 9th?  I hate minutiae!

This consultation was another example of “added value”, on more than one level. The client got an independent read on his situation that incorporated my life experience. I’m pulling things from the chart, completely outside his realm – why? Because I am from a different realm?

gemini italian dolls orangeAs it turned out, his way of interacting – dominating and doing all the work for others – was also exposed. He and I are actually peers. He’s running it… I’m running it. This consultation showed him what it’s like to work with someone who could add value.  It’s a big piece.  Like it could take months of therapy to discover something like this. It’s so efficient.

The person who shared their view on my situation was also efficient… and I shared what they told me with another person involved. The added value, added value.

I think this is something that is harder and harder to come by as people pressured believe in certain things and think, narrowly. It takes a lot courage to think and act independently. This is why I like Mars in Gemini so much and why I think we NEED this long transit. We’re killing each other’s brains by not speaking up.

For the record, I’m not talking about confronting passerby. I’m talking about having a person ask something or make a remark. Then you take the time to consider what you think about it; come back with your own idea which adds value to their life.

What do you think?


Comments

Getting More From Your Interactions With Others — 11 Comments

  1. I like this perspective because it’s stepping away from, “we should all listen to different points of view”. And that’s true but you’ve explained, using these examples, how it can take us out of our own heads and find value from the different vantage point.

  2. I should have mentioned, a person has to be open to another perspective. Take the client. I took a chance with what I did. The risk was calculated.

    The client was a Sadge rising, from X country, living in Y country where neither of the countries is my country. So chances are he’d be open to an outside perspective? This is not always the case!

    The risk here is that I do the work and he come back to say, HEY! I explicitly said I wanted you to look at my list…

    I just think this is worth tossing around as there are a number of angles here.

    • This is a goody Elsa
      In conversation with mature peeps who are not quick to defend is refreshing and a evolving opportunity for sure

  3. Such an interesting article Elsa ~
    we learn so much from comparing notes with others!
    As you mentioned towards the end, the opportunity arises when someone asks specific questions, and this actually just happened to me yesterday, when I commented on a post on Instagram (‘You only Need Five Hobbies’ @incomeyard), with a short and gleeful “Yay…I have ALL of these!!”, as I didn’t expect anything to come of it…
    Then, came the QUESTION!
    It seems that my ‘glee’, elicited curiousity from another Instagramer, and they asked me HOW I did it!
    WELL…that gave me A LOT to think about!! Mostly, how to answer as shortly and succinctly as possible, and without giving away too much personal information (you can never be TOO careful these days!!), while still tying ‘my story’ together to the ‘Five Hobbies’ mentioned in this post we had both viewed….
    I must’ve done something right, because this person gave me the KINDEST reply ever, saying how much I helped their perspective, but in reality, it actually made me take a CLOSER look at why I enjoy my activities of daily life!
    So, we BOTH got an added value out of this exchange, and in the end were happier for it! 🤗💫

  4. I just came here from your post “Projection & Getting Triggered: Blame Whoever For Whatever”. I agree that it’s better to add value when possible. But these last few years, people have been so divided and uptight about EVERYTHING. Probably they are reluctant to say something that will trigger the other person. It’s so easy to accidently ruffle people’s feathers, and they just don’t want to go there. Safer to keep things agreeable and nobody gets hurt.

  5. This is a really great post Elsa. The only thing I would say is that I now live in a very red state, a very conservative area. I have friends who are diametrically opposed to my points of view on a lot of things. I just am not up to dealing with that strife and negativity. We leave those subjects alone. However, when I was younger and things weren’t so polarized, I did speak up.

    I still think that “added value” can be a thing, like you pointed out. I do welcome added value in other areas that aren’t as polarizing as religion or politics, and am open to providing it as well.

    • Starcrest, you will make yourself sick if you don’t speak up, if you keep swallowing your message. There may be a reason you’re there in that stifling situation. It is time to listen to the other view (added value) then gently say, “I hear you (and give feedback to show you understand them) but I can’t agree because I see the issue from a different perspective.” Then, speak up with your view. You may get shouted down, you may get called names, but they will come away with your words in their head and that’s added value. Listening with empathy is the higher road and the key to then being heard. You don’t need to abandon your views and values to be respected. I sympathize with your situation, and can’t help wondering why you’re there.

  6. Elsa you help me, (an astrologer since the 70’s),navigate life. And I enjoy what you write!!! Added value. Some days you crack me up. Wish you were my neighbor!

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