Hi Elsa,
I am a gay Libra man who has met another gay Aquarian man and fallen in love with him on just a very few dates. When I told him how I felt, he said he wasn’t ready for anything. This being said, we still date and do things together and he admits that we get along very well.
Should I pursue him, let him go or hang in there? I am trying to hold back my feelings for him but also need feedback from him… which he is very, very reluctant to give.
Please advise me,
Libra Man
United States
Dear Man,
I am sorry, but is sounds as if you are trying to form a relationship with someone who is not inclined to form a relationship. So it really doesn’t matter what you do. If you pursue him there will be no result, if you let him go, no result, and if you hang in there… same thing. No result! So if you want a result, you’re going to have to ask a better question, like “Hey astrologer! What is it I want and why aren’t I getting it?”
And since I’m an astrologer and I’m right here, I may as well answer…
With a 7th house Sun in Libra, you want to be partnered, period. So every time you meet someone, you are going to try to form a relationship and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this… it’s your nature.
But if you want to have success, you have to find someone similarly inclined otherwise you will be deprived and feel like a failure – something you are prone to, with your Moon in Capricorn.
Last, you have Venus conjunct Neptune and you like to fantasize / dream up love which is what you’ve done with this Aquarian man, can you see this? You’re in love and pining after 2 dates and he’s like, “huh”?
You can compare the disparate responses to an alcoholic who drinks, as opposed to a non-alcoholic. The alcoholic takes a drink and all kinds things result. They lose their job, wreck their car, mess up their relationships, etc. The non-alcoholic has a drink and… nothing. They liked that margarita but tomorrow it’s no big deal.
So you are the alcoholic here.
Here’s my advice:
1. Own your own nature around wanting to partner.
2. Make sure whoever you involve yourself with is like-minded around the concept of forming a partnership.
3. Get a handle your ability / propensity (gift/curse) to fall in love via your imagination.
4. Be happy.
Good luck.
Be happy.
Amen. 🙂
I’ve been in the same situation. fell in love after two weeks. passionately. he said from our first time together that he didn’t want a relationship. 5 months later i was still hoping he would change his mind, acting casually hoping not to scare him off, while on the inside i was a wreck because I wasn’t getting what I wanted.
the sooner you leave the less it will hurt.
i wish i asked elsa the same question when my problems were staring…
Aquarians also have issues partnering, so inherently he might not be the best bet for insta-perma-boyfriendhood.
I disagree with Elsa and Elena here. You’re in a situation where what you want is a quick fix (illusion) and instead the Universe is giving you what you really need (something real). Ease up on the throttle — you guys are still dating and spending time together and from what you’ve said you two get along well together. The seeds are there, you’ve just got to allow them to develop at their own pace.
I agree with Elsa that you need to own your desire to partner. The big question, however, is the kind of partnership you really want. Learning to know people for who they really are and building trust take time. You can find someone who’s willing to microwave a relationship but would that the quality of relationship you want? Only you can answer that question.
May I suggest that your partnership is already there, for as long as it lasts and whatever the outcome. There’s plenty for you to learn and enjoy, the real issue is your willingness to slow down and enjoy it for what it is. That requires work on your part — that is, rather than trying to push things forward or ignore the way things are and being dissatisfied, but instead finding the things within yourself that are causing you to want to jump forward. Whether or not this relationship winds up where you’d like it to go, you’ll come out much better than when you started.
Marc says:
‘You can find someone who’s willing to microwave a relationship’
Ooh – good one!
From my personal perspective I feel an Aqua man is only comfortable, surprisingly enough, in a traditional form of relating – where he’s doing the pursuing. They can be mad about somebody but they can’t be made to be mad about somebody – it’s that quirky eccentric wild hair streak of Aquarius. The preferring of traditional ways of relating comes (IMO) from also being a fixed sign.
Well coming from an Aquarian who knows himself pretty well and I’m gay at that. If you really feel that you get a long hang in there. If you feel there is something there hang in there. It just takes time for us to open up and if we were not interested we would say so. A lot of the times we say we want our freedom but we also do want a long term meaningful relationship someone to be loyal to. There have been several guys I would have shared more with that I didn’t and had I would have probably had a really good relationship but it’s that Aquarian “stand offish” trait that keeps us distant even if we say we are not looking for a relationship we’re just not sure if we are ready. Inherently I know that most Aquarians want a relationship it’s just that sometimes we come off cold or perhaps it seems we don’t want one. Hang in there for love. FYI I just recently met a libra (hence how I found your site off of google) who after a few weeks I know I adore but I just feel it’s not the time and that we need to take things slower. Good luck!!
Ive been in a great relationship with an aquarian man and im a libra man we mutually fell in love after a few days instead of saying it we wrote it on eachothers backs with our fingers and weve been madly in love since and he has two beautiful daughters whom ive accepted as my own and he was my night in shining armor when i was in a dark depressing place and i cant ask for anyone better. A thing to remember is many other gay men are very permiscuous and want sexual fullfilment and a single partner cant always provide that. So either you came on too strong or hes looking for that fullfilment men love sex and think with there other head sometimes and not their heart.
I am an Aquarius who is hot for a Libra will this work what are best mates for Aquarius Jan 31 1965
I love this guy but he’s a little rough around the edges