I had a nice person tell me I had some kind of pathology yesterday. I defended myself and I thought nothing more of it.
Today, I’m working on tomorrow’s newsletter which will dealing with all the planets moving into Pisces over these next weeks. It made me think of an old video which I’ve not been able to find (yet). In looking for it, I found this one. It’s from 2008 and I state I have been trying to learn to defend myself for 15 years… which means it’s not been nearly 30!
In whatever case, this stuff is going to relevant over the next few months. It’s going to be quite interesting.
“Make me think I’m crazy when I know I’m not…”
gaslighting – wikipedia
Who Is Susceptible To Gaslighting & Manipulation in Relationships?
Venus – Neptune In Relationship: Avoid Lying Down With Dogs
Follow up to this video is here: Why Do People Undermine Someone’s Happy Relationship?
Are you susceptible to gaslighting techniques? Can you see the tendency (or lack of) in your chart?
I loved this!
I feel you’re so “liquid” in this video, softer than usual, but most likely with a greater depth than I am imagining.
I remember that show as well. I think Maya said “slowly pecked to death by ducks”.
This is the underpinning of my entire chart. Venus in the 12th, square Moon in Pisces and quincunx Neptune. The Universe wants me to get this lesson through my head once and for all… An excellent book for this is Melody Beattie’s Codependent No More. I think you’ve designated it as a Libra book but I’ve read it several times and for me it really resonates with the entire Virgo/Pisces axis because codependents have such leaky boundaries and are so willing to do everything for others. YMMV, but for someone like me, it’s helped TREMENDOUSLY. Also, CODA the AA equivalent for codependents.
I love this advice, thanks for that Elsa. I needed to hear this advice.
Yes, yes, and yes! I’ve got Saturn trine Neptune (by way of a conjunction) and I had to learn this, too. I used to be very hard for me to accept that my emotions were “right” when others would tell me I should be feeling something different. Not that it doesn’t still happen, but thank cheeze for boundaries!
Wow that was great! We have been having problems with our computer for a couple of weeks and I have not been able to watch your videos. I think that I was begginning to have withdrawal symptoms! Anyway, I watched this video and loved it! You know it is not that hard to get rid of leg pecking ducks once you know that they are there and figure out what they are up to. Thanks very much Elsa. I hope that you and the soldier have another fantastic day together!
Just this week a few people I thought I had tossed have turned up again and started pecking. Time to kick some more duck ass I guess. The hard thing is that I just want them to leave me alone….I am not bothering them and quite frankly don’t care about them, but they seem hellbent on making me think I’m lousy at what I know I do really, really well. Aren’t there other people for them to peck? Or better yet…why can’t they stop pecking all together? Saturn/Neptune, Venus/Neptune
I’m definitely susceptible and struggle with it. I’m doing better these days. I’ve got a T-Square involving Saturn, Neptune and Venus.
Yes, this happens to me, and yes I’ve had to do it. Part of the reason why it is so painful, for me, is that it feels so hard…until it’s so easy. There’s no going back. I used to make the mistake of not grieving my losses, but I’m getting better. I hate hurting people. Even if they are a stupid duck pecking at me. Then again it’s why people take advantage so I’ve got to get with it.
This is very apt for me – 5th house jupiter square neptune. Also 12th house planets. Just have no boundaries and it is dodgy in partnerships because I lose myself. One guy last year implied I was ‘crazy’, the next suggest I have counselling for his porn addiction and then recently I realised I was losing energy again and stopped a new relationship. Usually friends save me but I need to learn boundaries and I hope pluto on my moon and saturn on my venus can help me do this. A friend commented just yesterday that ‘people need to just leave you alone’ but they wouldn’t do it if I didn’t let them. I seem to be doormat or full on aggression. I think this stuff is karmic – people will keep biting me until I own my own power.
Anyway, sorry to rant but I really feel this one.
Yes…this is the game that people always always play with me in the end. I’m not allowed to be upset, and when I am, I’m “crazy.” I’ve weeded out pretty much everyone because of this, the last one sometime yesterday. The method I’ve learned is to just be silent and walk away, which can be tough because you know they’re not trying to understand. But then again, if you escalate it, they’ll just not understand louder…and the great thing is is that these manipulators can be quite popular and tell everyone else you’re crazy. So best thing is to walk away and hide until they forget about you. I mean, in the end, I find that they’re the lost ones and they never really contributed as much as I idealized them to anyway…it’s funny how kicking certain ppl. out helps you find out what you’re capable of…okay I’m ranting now also, but err, this is also hitting home for me this year.
“…and the great thing is is that these manipulators can be quite popular and tell everyone else you’re crazy”
boy does that sound familiar, LOL.
oh, they’re often very popular… excellent at distorting reality to make themselves seem more appealing.
it does tend to wear off. then they have to go find a new set of victims.
I just made sense of why my niece would respond to an email about a year ago by writing, “You hate your sister Maria, but you don’t even know it.” I responded by sending her the dictionary definition of “Ingrate” because the last I heard from her I had given her a houseful of fine furniture, carpets, and washers and dryers,(and loaned her brother 24k for a lawyer) after she promised me I could stay with her when I came back to the states for visits. It never happened. I didn’t hate Maria. I didn’t LIKE her because she was a psychopath, and I had other sisters I did hate, because they intentionally caused me grief, like this niece’s mom. Then I realized that Maria had gotten ahold of her and was projecting on me her real feelings, and convinced this niece that she had solved all my problems by declaring that I hated Maria, without knowing it. Why it is always better to leave a bad narcissistic family cold turkey.
Some people have an idea about a person and they just fill in their story with whatever is on hand to make it work. This is for good or ill by the way. You can dream a person down, but you can also dream them up.
Generally, you get dreamed up… which is an early warning, you will be dropped from your high perch at some point. The higher up you’re placed, the further you have to fall. In reality, you’re just a person as opposed to a giant saint or sinner.
Yes, I’m susceptible, with Venus Neptune and Pisces Moon, but my question is – besides setting boundaries, what can you do? I want to spot these people coming before they cross the line, you know?
People are innocent until they aren’t (in my mind). So I don’t think it’s possible. If you are make assumptions about the other person, you’ll be doing the same thing you don’t want done to you.
“Death by a thousand paper cuts.”