Freedom From Repetition Compulsion: I’ve Identified A Pattern, Now How Do I Break It?

cocaine ratLola asks on the Freedom From Repetition Compulsion:

“This may sound like a strange question, but what happens when you recognize your pattern? For me, it was always angry, selfish men…”

What a great question, thank you.

Once you know you’re up to something, trace it back as far as you can. See if you can identify when and how it was set up… generally this happened in the childhood home and it is often obvious. For example, was your father an angry, selfish man? Point is, information is power so get all the information you can.

Armed with the information, I’ll tell my thought process: I don’t like being a cocaine rat. You know how they did those tests with rats? They would addict them to cocaine and watch them go back and back for the cocaine, starving themselves in the process.

Continuing to operate in these patterns once you are aware of them (provided you want to quit) makes you a cocaine rat. Are you a rat? I am not a rat. I am rebel, by God!

So based on this I start making different choices. And as I have told many people, many times when you do this you can expect resistance. For example, I used to date Scorpios with Leo risings. I dated like 9 of them in a row, each relationship disastrous. Gee, man. Maybe I ought to give this up.

So I decided to do exactly that and who do you think I met? More Scorpios with Leo risings. I met several of them and I had to make a choice, see? Do I go with the pattern, or cut a new path. I cut a new path. Three Scorpios with Leo Risings dodged and the universe sent me something new… success!

Anyone else want to share their process?


Comments

Freedom From Repetition Compulsion: I’ve Identified A Pattern, Now How Do I Break It? — 17 Comments

  1. Hi, Lola here again.

    Here’s the thing. Yes, my dad was the angry selfish one. That’s where I got the idea 🙂

    But when I met the guys that “fit” the pattern, there was a crack of lightening, and then there was “love” . . . of course, now I see this wasn’t love, and that crack-of-lightening attraction was because they fit my issues so well.

    When I meet nice guys now who are not in my pattern, I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel. I kind of just stand around now, hand on hip, all, “now what”?

    People say, “you’ll know it when you see him,” and based on past experience, that’s like my sign to run the other way.

    Any thoughts?

  2. After working for two Pisces Sun/Gemini Moon people in a row who LIED to me as well as their clients, if another job opportunity comes from that combo, they will see nothing but dust!!

    As to men, it was rescue missions one after another until Pluto came to MY rescue . . . believe me when I say you do not want to wait for him to show up. Effective but painful! 🙂

  3. So it’s not just me that feels like Pluto can be a knight in shining armour. Two pluto transits have each literally saved my neck. If you’re not afraid to go deep within and face your inner demons, pluto is pleased to call you friend.
    I LOVE U PLUTO!

  4. I mentioned on that thread that my repetitive problem was regarding looking at my own reflection.
    Basically, I forced myself to look. Specifically, if I was near another person and a mirror, I would force myself to pretend to check my teeth, or smooth my clothes, or whatever.
    And yes, it traces to childhood. My mom caught me looking in the mirror one too many times and drove me straight to the barber’s where my hair was completely cut off.

    On another note, this is also how I got rid of my fear of spiders: I started picking them up. Facing problems head on fits my Sun square Saturn very well.

  5. October27 – I have no idea but I can tell you for sure if you were a man I would not date you because it is a recipe disaster – tried and proved. I suppose it is the way my planets land on your wheel

  6. kashmiri….you’re my new hero. My fear of spiders and scorpions makes me dizzy (literally). To make matters worse, as scorpion was in my and my husbands bed (unbeknownst to us) and bit him on the ass! I just kept thinking “whew, I’m glad it wasn’t me.” It made my fear worse. I wish I had the strength to just pick one up like you did 🙂

    The only pattern I keep repeating is my mild anxiety. But the Vata oil recommended by someone on this blog has helped. A lot actually! I don’t know if this is a side affect or if it’s all in my head, but it’s actually made me very giddy. I love it, even if it’s just all in my head, that’s where it counts anyways right?

  7. I think the process is different for everyone, but also that a large part underlying the process is about integration. As in, integrating different parts of your brain-body so that everyone is communicating well with each other, is on the same page w/common goals (b/c that’s what a healthy system does). w/o that unity, your emotions, beliefs and perceptions of reality eventually get skewed. Besides, if your brain-body system can’t agree – one part says I REALLY WANT THAT and the other says NO WAY IN HELL, it’s a perfect set up for misery, especially if you don’t realize that’s what’s going on.

    When that happens, those parts of a person need to get in touch with each other and become united and synchronized – doesn’t matter in the end how it’s done, but get it done. I think that will break a pattern that is hindering you for good.

  8. Hehehe! You got to watch out for those Scorps with Leo Risings!

    I traded in my Scorpio with a Cap Ascendant and a Leo Moon for a Leo with a Scorp Ascendant and a Capricorn Moon. Much, much better. 😉

    (My process: I put out there exactly what I wanted– a Leo with a Venus in Virgo– and got it. Got him, I should say. Sometimes you just have to be specific.)

  9. Okay, it isn’t easy to know someone’s rising sign! At the most it’s an indirect question..or generally you have to have sex before you know. Or maybe I am insane and no one gets me, whatever. As dreamsareality said: this is how the cow ate the cabbage
    (don’t worry dreams, i’m not enlisting you, not least because you’re likely asleep)

  10. Kashmiri, tonight I’m up and a’lurking. Yes, I’d agree it would seem a bit hard to get rising sign info from just the average joe on the street.

    New one-liner, “Hey baby, what’s your Rising sign?” Said with just the right amount of Joey from Friend’s TV show slurring & cocked eyebrow it could get a girl lucky! 😀

  11. Shaina–Oh wow…..I’m a Leo with Scorpio rising, Capricorn moon, and Venus in Virgo!
    So….what’s it like dating someone like me? hehe.

    P.S. I realize half of the comments I leave are not astrologicaly related. I really need to learn the details of this stuff so I can keep up!

  12. Hey Shell! Well… I approve of you highly, for one thing. 😉

    Just kidding. Well, not really, but I don’t want to say that one particular combination is better than anybody else’s. I was just telling my boy last night, that in one sense he is cobbled together (in my perception) from all the bits and pieces of people I liked of my past relationships, and yet my perception of him is just that… it’s not who he IS, just the outward manifestation.

    But from an astrological standpoint, I’ve found that the combination suits me exceedingly well in a relationship. The excesses of Leo get balanced by the maturity of Cap and the depth of Scorpio, while the warmth and love Leos do so well really relaxes all the earth qualities so they can more easily display their inner feelings. (He’s also got Mars in Cancer, which is just enough Cancer for me, and a 9th house sun, so my Venus in 4th house and Neptune in Sag are happy.)

    To sum up my answer: dating somebody with that combo has resulted in one of the most open, communicative, balanced, and loving relationships I’ve ever had. Stable yet creative. It’s *awesome*. 😀

  13. You know, Kashmiri, I keep getting the sense that our charts are similar (at least in planetary interactions).
    With Sun conjunct Saturn, I deal with things ~exactly~ the way Kashmiri does – see the wrong thing (finally), confront it head-on. Of course, sometimes it doesn’t work. Been exposing myself to high places for decades and I’m still scared of heights, but… It’s done marvels for other problems. 🙂

  14. Hey Kashmiri, I’m a Taurus Sun with Sag Ascendant (I believe that’s rather similar to your chart). Anyway, I have a childhood hair experience. My mom always kept both of my sisters hair long but she always had mine cut into a pixie. My hair was always kept so short that I was frequently mistaken for a boy.

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