Finding Love – Do You Have The Ability To Be Satisfied?

If you can be satisfied in relationships, you’ve got yourself a selling point. Two minute video.

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Finding Love – Do You Have The Ability To Be Satisfied? — 40 Comments

  1. Thanks for the video reminder, Elsa. My Venus is afflicted in every way imaginable except for a trine with Pluto. With your help, I’ve made a decision to be in relationship (because my Libra wants this), I’ve chosen a great man, committed to him (secretly in some ways, not telling him just how deeply, as you suggested) while I practice satisfaction and contentment all the way home to my second Saturn return. Sure, trust has never been my forte (Scorpio Moon) and perfectionism has fucked me over in the guise of Neptune much of my life. Nevertheless, I’ve learned my lessons (Saturn, Saturn, Saturn) and I consciously choose “happy”, regardless of how unfamiliar this may seem at times, every remaining day of my life. Thanks, Elsa. You are the Valentine that keeps on giving. Hallmark has nothing on you!

  2. …i’ve had to make a conscious effort to do this… don’t think it comes naturally in my chart… but maybe i just don’t have enough practice. i am very very happy… but i do need to avoid getting stuck in a rut. makes me zone out=== disconnected. argh. aquarius.
    the leo/aquarius oppositions have been really good growing experiences for me lately. not sure how to explain how, just yet, but i can feel it….

  3. Love the video…great advice as always…thankfully, I can be satisfied quite easily in relationships…the key is finding the guy to do it! LOL…”all in good time” 😉

  4. Thank you Elsa! What a timely post! This is definitely one of those signs (that you told me to look out for). I’m almost done reading this book with the same message – “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” by Lori Gottlieb. I recommend it to anyone who’s confused about finding Mr. Right. It’s a total reality check – basically many women self-sabotage by dismissing perfectly good men for the unrealistic, ideal man (who never shows up, or does show up, but as a complete disappointment).

    Now that Venus is in Pisces (my natal Venus is trine Neptune and my man is a native Pisces Venus), I’m seeing all the great things about my relationship that I took for granted. I’m also seeing how I’ve been hurting it – basically by creating a war zone. How can I expect my man to be his best if I’m constantly laying booby traps and land mines?

    I’ve changed my tune. I’m so grateful for what we have, flaws and all, and I’m willing to work past these speed bumps, because deep down I’ve got a man who truly loves me and is willing to work hard for a life with me, and I couldn’t ask for anything more. Thank you Elsa for your ever-positive, straight-to-the-point nuggets of wisdom.

  5. **Applause**

    Have been mourning my ex lately and thanks to this video, I am reminded that this was always the case: In his eyes, I was NEVER good enough, evolved enough, blah blah blah. Basically, any demands on my part were out of bounds, and there was always fault to be found in me. I tried so hard, and went a bit nuts in the process. What a waste of energy!

    Interesting, because here was someone who is almost fourty years old and has had many many relationships, and also bears attractive qualities (successful, sexy, smart, entrepreneur, etc.). Yet–surprise–just can’t seem to make a relationship work. He was a double Cap who projected a shitload of his own self-rejection, and wish I would had enough clarity to understand(my Venus Neptune fog maybe).

    Anyways, thanks Elsa. This is just so true.

  6. Oh hell. All I ever wanted was someone I was attracted to who’s stable, low-key, with a good sense of humor and not a woman-hater. Who can handle a chronically depressed wife who needs a lot of space to balance out the togetherness. I was never the nagging type, always supportive, all the things nice men say they need. None of it did me a damn bit of good, the only ones who ever came close to that were never the ones I was attracted to physically. And without that there’s no point.

  7. What do you think of the whole reddit pick up artist approach to men picking up women?

    It seems more ‘systematic’ than the advice women get. It can be douchey obviously.
    There seems to be no primer for women to appear more attractive or get more attention. I think because our insecurity and confusion is so profitable.

    • Kri, read Sex Secrets of An American Geisha by Py-Kim Conant. Some may find her controversial but she straight up tells you, you need to lose the weight if you want to find a guy you’re attracted to. There are plenty of women who met their husbands while heavy. I know for myself, I am always at my slimmest when I meet someone who excites me. Almost NEVER when heavier.

      • Do you think that nasolabial folds or face crap also makes people look worse? Any advice on how to get rid of those?

        People dont like me now much and i think the subtlish mouth indentations demonstrates age. Also i got the first bits of dark circles, eye crease, and t zone blackheads. I try to use organic products and eat healthyish but dont have a routine. My mom didnt look this bad at 30.

        My friends say its not that bad but theyre blowing smoke up my ass. People argue that im imagining that i almost get no attention and people immediately turn away when checking me out but..
        Im observant and would say my new pattern is evwn the oldest men sometimes dont like me

        • Kri I’ve heard make sure you’re hydrated because insufficient water intake can mess up the look of your skin. Caffeine’s not so good for it either, also dries it out. I do see a difference when I’m off caffeine.

        • Kri, part of this is, I think, you exaggerating your flaws- no 30 year old has serious mouth creases yet. And creases around the mouth are not that unattractive when taking the whole picture (face) into consideration. Look at models…many of them have creases around the mouth. But something that will take the emphasis off them is exfoliation and moisturizer. Some other tips to help you look youthful are fuller eyebrows- eyebrow fuller if you don’t have naturally full eyebrows and smooth lips. Exfoliate lips…I exfoliate mine with my toothbroosh in the morning. And I also recommend lipstick that plumps. I’ve been using the brand PIXI which you can find at target. They have some really pretty shades. Anyway, beautiful lips will take away the focus on the lines around the mouth.

        • Kri, as PI said, it would be somewhat unusual for your nasolabial folds to be very deep at 30? Mine didn’t really start getting prominent until I hit 42 and I’m 45 now. Everyone is different but I find whatever I eat that bloats me also ages me. Salt makes every line in my face much more prominent and the same goes for greasy fatty food. When I cut back, the trenches plump back out to etches.

          • Theyre not very deep. Theyre about as deep as David Mitchells. if not less. i mean the comedian. theyre just more prominent than they were. and men dont like me at all anymore, not even the chubby chasers

      • @Scottish, I used to be super skinny(supermodel skinny) and that’s true, I attracted a lot of men, and the kind that most women want to get. (if they were in the military, they were ranked officers) if they had work, they were attorneys, stockbrokers and CEO types. or owned businesses. Very successful men. They really like (most of them) the “trophy wife” look, just like Trump with Melania. looking back, it’s on par with what successful men like in studies. I was just normally skinny though, from early childhood, but now i’m plumped up and happy. I didnt really care for alot of those men in the past though. I eat what I like even in middle age where they say it’s harder to lose weight.

        • I’d love to see a picture. That leaves me at a bit of a disadvantage- I have Venus in Cap and the kind of men I’m most attracted to don’t want me or only want me briefly.

          • And my opinion on one thing has never wavered- one brief fling with a man I’m attracted to who will never love me will always preferable to me than 20 years with a man I’m not attracted to who does. No one should have to swap attraction for love.

            • If you were unattractive, would you still want the attractive guy? Studied have shown that people choose partners in their same range of attractiveness. Normally, if you’re not so attractive, you end up with a not so attractive partner and vice versa… There are exceptions- if you’re an ugly millionaire then you can probably line up the attractive people, but then you would have to live with knowing you’re most likely not loved for anything other than your money.

              I’ve seen a few mismatched couples where one or the other was significantly more or less attractive than the other for no other reason than what seemed to be love. But not too often.

              • PI, I am attracted to many different physical types, am not looking for a male model. I’m not punching above my weight. I’m average looking and would be happy to find the same. But there has to be a little chemistry from the beginning, I don’t do “Maybe you’ll become attracted.” Friends have tried to fix me up in the past and I have always told them “If you wouldn’t sleep with him, don’t pass him along to me.”

              • I find male friends for the most part far better at introducing me to someone I have chemistry with than women. Former female friends often had the attitude that I should be okay with men they wouldn’t let within five feet of them because hey it’s the best someone like me will ever be able to do. Emphasis on past female friends.

          • @Scottish, I posted a photo of myself here before. lol I don’t know why I thought of your pisces mars, but saw on the news that Carrie Fisher (Virgo venus/Pisces mars) was so in love with Harrison Ford (during the star wars filming) and she dropped the bomb that they had a torrid affair. She’s writing a book on it but sent him a copy before being public with it. Saw it on cbs & yahoo news. I honestly thought they had fantastic chemistry.

            • They did. I would also be willing to bet if someone asked her “If you could do it over again, would you pass up the fling with Harrison Ford for a nice guy you weren’t attracted to who wanted to spend the rest of his life with you?” I would be shocked if she said anything but “No, sex that good really was worth decades of pain.”

  8. It makes me laugh, bitterly, because there are so many things I would be willing to put up with and compromise over for a great physical connection. But no chemistry is a dealbreaker forever no matter how nice a person may be. I would not call that commitmentphobia.

  9. It’s entirely possible that at my current state of chubbage I could find someone I never thought I would. But at almost 45, not looking like it.

      • I have lost some weight as well over the past two years. I’m not fat, tall and weight is evenly distributed but could stand to drop 30-35. Kri, I have the brackets around my nose and mouth too. My skin is in fairly good shape, have used sunscreen daily for many years and prefer the shade to the sun, but those lines are aging and there’s no way around it.

        • There is nothing available yet that compares to the quality of young skin. You can look good for your age, great even. But as far as I’m concerned unless you’re a genetic anomaly 45-year-old skin can never begin to compare to 25- or even 35-year-old skin. I find the crepeiness of my flesh and creeping hyperpigmentation absolutely awful. I want to laser everything off me but it’s expensive and the bottom line is even with those procedures I know my young face is gone. I am pathologically vain so it’s quietly destroying me.

          Michelle Pfeiffer says the reason people lose their eyesight with age is so they don’t have to see how old they look.

          • It’s not easy Kri.

            I have to check if there’s any oil in the formula, but for my face I alternate between a gentle apricot scrub cleanser and plain old soap when the container invariably falls into the crack between my sink and bathtub and and I can’t find it for two months. I like something gentle that still rinses clean, like a foaming cleanser, and prefer sunscreen without oil.

  10. I LOVE Jupiter in Libra. I felt it the day it switched signs. I hope what I’ve seen, learned and felt sticks around when it changes signs again.

    Yes, I do. It’s not totally activated yet, but it will be. I’m more satisfied with my life now then I ever have been in the past.

  11. My 4H Gemini Mars makes a wide trine to my 7H Virgo Venus. I am happiest with my partner when there is a multi-faceted intellectual connection. However, my 7H Virgo Venus exactly squares my 11H Sagittarius Saturn. I haven’t found real (Saturn) love (Venus) yet. In addition, when Elsa made this video, Saturn was paring away in my 8H Libra – I got a divorce.

  12. When I was young, I had low self-esteem and was eager to be loved. I was extremely easy to please. (And in some ways, I still am. I love small tokens of affection over grandiose things) But now that I’m older, I’m fully awake and aware and reconciled with my shadow side, happy with who I am (for the most part) and I demand a lot more. Not material goods necessarily but respect. As a woman. As a separate being. Autonomy over my life and body and my right to accept and appreciate my body as good enough and rejecting doctored sexual ideals. I also don’t bullshit anymore and I won’t do the flirtation thing. So if that makes me more likely to be single in the future, well, I guess, I’ll accept that too.

    Love me or go away. ?

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