I drew conclusions around the idea that most of us have an “imprint” (Organic Attraction To A Physical Type) when it comes to finding a partner, accidentally. I think people leave their relationships prematurely. The going gets tough and they go.
I see this again and again in consulting. When I work with women who have ran through a lot of men and put up their charts up either in a single consultation or over time, I can see they are finding the same man over and over again, conscious or otherwise.
A very sobering thing about this is that in cases where the woman (or man) has repeated and repeated and repeated this cycle, the quality of the partner they attract drops over time. They find to their shock and horror that the man they are with currently is of lessor quality then the one they were with 5 or 10 or even 20 or more years prior and this is a very hard pill to swallow.
What happens when a person gets to this point is fodder for another day but to mash this with the concept of the “imprint” is simple: You dump the guy/gal… the 5’10”, dark hair, dark eyes that you are looking for and your next move is what? To go out and find one just like him.
I’m not saying people should not leave their bad relationships. What I am saying is if you leave them prematurely, going off half-cocked without learning anything you aren’t going to get very far. You’ll get into another relationship all right, but the same issues will constellate and typically your new circumstances will be worse than the one you fled. If you keep this up for 10 or 20 years… well you can just extrapolate out the results but here’s the trick or the quirk in the universe:
Time (Saturn) works both ways. In one instance it punishes but in another instance it promotes. Because here is another thing I have learned (the hard way).
If you give things time and stay in your relationships when the going gets tough, the problems often resolve themselves. People just get better at being together and it is a natural process.
For example my husband and I still FIGHT and we probably always will but we do it less often. Once every 3 weeks is now once every 3 months and stubborn as we are you know that neither one of us is doing all that much to have this effect, it’s just happening. What comes to mind is those dogs and owners who look alike. They may not start out that way but over time their differences resolve.
Many people never stay around long enough to find things can be worked through. I know because I was one of them. First sign of conflict, I was out of there and look where it got me. All the way back to the man I met when I was 17.
Would I have been better off had I worked it out with him – stuck it out back then? Well yeah. And this may not be true for all but it is true for many. You turn 40 and you realize your first husband wasn’t so bad after all. What would it have been like had you stuck it out?
I’ll put it this way: Once the blush is gone, I bet at least half the remarried people out there would be faring just as well if not better had they worked it out with their first spouse. Not a popular opinion but mine, nonetheless.
If you want to get serious about solving your problems with commitment, check out my Master Class – Finding Love With Astrology.
I devoted two sections to the topic:
SECTION 3: Tackling Commitment Phobia, Part 1: Sagittarius
SECTION 4: Tackling Commitment Phobia, Part 2: Aquarius And Virgo