Fell In Love With Co-Worker, Sagittarius Woman in an Arranged Marriage

sagittarius oval pendantHi Elsa,

I am married and have a child. Recently I fell in love with a guy at work who was single and much younger than me. He showed his great interest in me by giving me a lot of attention. The irony of the situation is that my first marriage was arranged, so this was my first time falling in love; I didn’t realize what and why it was happening.

I had a great hormonal surge and to stop myself from hurting my commitments, I took time off from work to figure out the situation. Two months later, I still think about the other guy. I have the option of changing jobs and never going back to see him again. Should I face my fears or bite the bullet and move on?

Married Sagittarian
India

Dear Married,

I am not sure what you are afraid of. Are you afraid you will cheat? You don’t have to be afraid of that. You can cheat or you can not cheat, this is a decision you get to make.

As for your feelings for this man: if you go back to work with him, they will still be there. You will still be attracted to him and I am sure he will still pay you a lot of attention. But this does not predict the result of the situation because what happens is completely up to you.

I would hate to tell you to leave your job just because you are afraid. Assuming you like your job, it would be much more empowering for you to go back to work and discover that as a matter of fact, you can handle yourself. You can be attracted… you can even be in love with someone and you still get to choose what you do about it. Knowing something like this is this is very powerful.

And if you take a new job, this guy will be out of sight, but not necessarily out of mind. In fact his presence may grow stronger with time, as people tend to idolize others when they reflect back. And in many cases, if they were actually with the person they were pining for, they may be seeing reality by now – and reality is uglier than fantasy every time!

So it’s up to you. But if it were me, I would go back to my job (assuming I liked it). And with this first “love experience” somewhat assimilated, I would try to see this man in a more critical and detached way.

For example, you say he is young. Is he too young? Is he flitty? Would he make a good husband or does he best serve as a distraction? You see what I mean. You can poke holes in this, as easy as you can inflate it, most likely.

On the other hand, maybe you do really love him. And maybe you have a destiny together and so forth. I doubt this but if it is true, nothing you will do will stop the relationship. You’ll get a new job and run into him at the corner store, or the cleaners, or you’ll collide in a car accident. 🙂

You get the idea. I think you’re good to go back to work. You are strong and you are smart and you are not going to do anything you don’t want to do.

Much love, and good luck.

~~
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Comments

Fell In Love With Co-Worker, Sagittarius Woman in an Arranged Marriage — 5 Comments

  1. “You can be attracted… you can even be in love with someone and you still get to choose what you do about it.”

    “And maybe you have a destiny together and so forth…if it is true, nothing you will do will stop the relationship.”

    So if you love someone and they are your destiny…can you not mess this up and stop the relationship? Is our ultimate outcome a matter of human choice or do our choices reflect our destiny – and we keep making choices that align with this fate?

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