Feeling (Or Not Feeling) Despair

despairI understand that some people don’t feel “despair”.

I’m not talking about psychopaths, though they would be included in this group. I am talking about psychologically sound people who may be more intellectual than emotional.

I don’t know how to weigh the two scenarios. Is the person with the wider range of emotion the healthier one? Or is it the other way around?

I do know if people from the two different camps mix, they will be limited in their ability to understand each other. I can’t say whether this is good or bad. It’s just the way it is.

Do you feel despair? Where is your moon and how is she aspected?

pictured – Despair. Frank Holl. 1881. Oil on canvas.


Feeling (Or Not Feeling) Despair — 26 Comments

  1. I do. 1st house Moon in Virgo squaring Neptune. My 11th house Mercury helps me to detach intellectually and deal with the pit of despair I find my self from time to time. Yet it doesn’t annihilate the feelings.

    As to whether it is healthier or no, I wouldn’t tell either. Nonetheless, I think that if one manages not getting stuck into despair, it is a rich experience that is worth going through. I find that intellectualizing can be limiting.

  2. This is how I describe the difference in myself and a person with a lot of Aqua. They look at me like I am crazy. I feel their cool and run in the other direction.

    I was emotionally retarded until I was 40 years old. This was very painful.

  3. Perhaps those ‘capable’ of feeling despair are more compelled to find ways of spiritually rising ‘above despair'(?).

  4. Trying to quit. Natal moon in cancer 8th is enough. My natal moon is sesqui saturn so I kind of take that as a warning, like my natal mars sesqui uranus with natal mars in the 4th. My moon is in t-square with pluto uranus now, so I am learning that I don’t have to get into others space emotionally to successfully interact with them. I was over protective of what I perceived as their emotional state, all the time. And was takin on despair that was not mine.

    I think the emotional sensitivity is still there but it is opening up to a higher vibration of overall bliss. It’s the power of water. In that way I can relate a little to autism. It’s uncharted territory for me yet. I don’t know that I explained it very well.

  5. Yes I feel despair. Moon in Leo, conjunct Mars in the 9th house. I don’t think that sounds like a despairing moon, but I feel like a psychic sponge at times, despairing for others, for myself, this awful feedback loop.

  6. continuing:

    And so, by using their intellectual side, CHOOSE
    to float above their dispair (which is deep, very deep, but does everyone have to know?)

    Just thoughts of a Libra sun, with Uranus, Moon and Mercury in water signs, TRYING to “wear her rue with a difference”.

  7. i dont know if i believe that people who arent sociopathic or suffering from some other mental disease, don’t ever feel despair.
    i do, most definitely. im very cancer. but my partner is gemini and so he’s very air. he doesn’t dwell in despair. thats probably the difference. but has he felt it before? absolutely. unfortunately, since he’s not as comfortable with “feelings” the ways he dealt with despair was often unhealthy. so, i have to say i think that being able to feel things emotionally, is a strength. when you can own your feelings, you can accept them and get beyond whatever crisis is currently taking place in your life.

  8. Natal moon is in my 4th, squared my natal sun/Saturn conjunct in my 1st. Despair is one end of the spectrum I live with in my self/home all the time, thanks to the powerful role of Saturn in my chart and that square. Not that he’s not always powerful, but hey, my self can’t get away from it. On the one hand, living with Saturn gets easier in some ways as I get older, but the despair is somehow also closer to the surface.

  9. what is despair anyway…is it a lack of emotion or feeling, or is at a low (lowest) feeling you can experience? when i think of despair i think of something all consuming….but then i guess that would be anguish. if despair is the lack of feeling by definition…. then if its so profound, then it HAS to be a feeling right? how can something so deep not be something thats emotionally tangible.

    • Anguish vs Despair.

      I don’t know. What I do know is that I experience feelings beyond what another person I know does.
      What I don’t know is if this is because the other person has a lack or if it’s because I have been pushed (via) trauma into other feeling realms.

  10. I do !! Moon in Scorpio opposed by Saturn in Taurus!! the worst senario you can think about !!Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!

  11. I have no clue whether what I call despair is even close to what the word means.

    I’ve been suicidal before. I’ve been depressed. There have been many times where I’ve just felt so hopeless that another day was unthinkable, let alone 40 more years of “another day”s.

    But is that really despair? I don’t know! *smiles*
    I do know that it seems I don’t feel things like other people do. I have an emotional equilibrium that’s very strong and it takes a lot to knock me out of it (and yet, strangely enough, my “normal” resets very quickly to either highs or lows if I’m stuck there for any length of time). However, that state of equilibrium seems to be mostly apathetic or uncaring; it’s flat. Yanno?

    I have Aqua moon in the 8th trine Mars-Venus-Pluto in the 4th and square Uranus. Cancer rising, with Jupiter there, and my moon is the handle to my basket chart. Plenty of lunar influence, but I just don’t feeeeeeeeel. :/

  12. Yes I do feel despair. My Moon is in Sagittarius, but it squares my Ascendant, squares my Black Moon Lilith in Virgo and opposes my Jupiter in Gemini. And then my Ascendant is in Pisces, I have Sun square Saturn, I have Ceres in Pisces squaring Saturn and Uranus and opposing my Sun, and my Chiron is in Cancer as part of a Mars-Neptune-Chiron t-square.
    Fortunately, I have a grand water trine involving my Ascendant, my Pluto in Scorpio and my Chiron. In addition, my Moon can be uplifted by Mars and Venus.

    Ah yes, I remember Saturn in Virgo squaring my Moon and Saturn conjuncting my Sun, just as Pluto was squaring my Sun and conjuncting Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. I felt so unsupported at the time! It’s amazing how I made it through.

    And to think that when Saturn will reach Sagittarius, my Moon will be squared by Neptune and conjuncted by Saturn…Hopefully, that challenge can be mitigated by Saturn trining Venus, Mars and by Neptune trining Pluto.

    So yes, I can feel despair, but I do what I can to cheer myself up.

  13. Not usually, every once in a really great while, I might get down. But usually a good night of ‘alone time’ and a good nights sleep helps me get perspective.

    Moon in cappy, conjunct Jupiter, opposing my sun, squaring pluto and inconjunct my 1st house merc/mars.

  14. I was (which means still am) prone to depression. It comes and goes. But get up on my feet each time after a huge amount of rationaliting feelings. I tell myself that despair goes away, it is a feeling and feelings die pretty soon.

    7th house Moon conjunct Mercury and Saturn, sextile Venus. And gets a taste of Neptune because of its square to Saturn.

  15. I have felt it a few times. Virgo Moon conjunct Pluto/Uranus opposite Saturn/Chiron, sextile Neptune in Scorpio.

    I can’t recommend it, so if a person isn’t able to go there good for them. I would see it as a blessing to have avoided that place.

  16. When is it appropriate to feel despair and sorrow and grief, and when not? Strikes me as a way to go at this. Astrologically speaking, when do our water signs serve us beautifully, and when are air signs a danger to our ability to connect?

    I’m looking at all this water filling the astrological sky as a great big thank god, now we may have a chance to finally drop out of our heads and into our hearts about what is happening to the planet.

    But a big word of caution: Despair ALONE, and despairing with others, as in rituals of grief like funerals — those are radically different emotional experiences. Water needs to FLOW, and the tearful flow of grief is healing and cathartic.

    Despair that locks in –bound by too much earth? Saturn on a bad day? — Can freeze up into a terrible chilling existential cold.

    So maybe the trick, here, is using our water signs to break down the rammed earth ‘dams’ of despair.

  17. I have Sagittarian Saturn conjunct Ascendant opposing Mercury in my sun sign Gemini with Aquarius Moon. When I was young, circumstances led me frequently to despair, as everything darkened, but gradually, over the years, serendipitous events led me to learn systems and ways of being that give me core knowledge – that means I can still experience deep sorrow (my mother died within 4 days of my younger brother’s funeral almost a year ago) but know ‘this too will pass’- the pain no longer seems to be the whole of my perception. Venus and Mars in Cancer enable me to be self-protective, including good nutrition(vitamin balance plays a huge role I find in my general sense of well-being) at vulnerable times. I have made good use of alternative therapies, training in Shiatsu, dream psychotherapy and many other things, to achieve better balance.

  18. I don’t feel despair, even less than usual. Pluto square Pluto (cusp 12 and natal 8th house) and Jupiter at the cusp of 6th house. Enjoying Jup in the 5th house, by a health (mental and physical) programme. Sports, after all these years! So I guess the upcoming t-square (transit Jup and Pluto opposite, with my natal Pluto in Libra in the middle) will be the positive transformation of leading a more healthy life. Still have to get rid of the beer, and the belly 😉
    About the emotions: I am a more a thinker than a feeler, but recently (through this programme) I found out I need to let my feelings out (natal Venus in 12th) to lead a more happy mental life!

  19. BTW: Sun, Mercury and Venus in Cap, Aquarius ascendant, squared by Uranus in 8th and Pluto in 8th square Sun, Merc and Venus. Saturn in Cancer, 6th house exactly opposite Venus in 12th. I’ve had my share of gloom, death and sorrow for the rest of my life, but there will always be more. And some grief just never goes away completely. I hold on to my Jupiter in 1st house (though Pisces), big belly, I told you 🙂 and my belief in a better, more loving world. If you don’t stand up you can’t see. If there is not much joy in your life, try to concentrate on the little things. Your favorite book. Your favorite tree in the park. Stare at the sea. Things are bigger than your world of grief, and sometimes, grief brings you closer to people.

  20. O, I realise now that I read “some people feel despair” and reacted to that 😉 I DO feel despair, and don’t understand people who don’t or never seem to do. But some people just have not much to do with despair in their lifes. I can be jealous of that, but when they do experience grief (big, like death) they really can’t handle it and never return to their old selfs. They are broken for the rest of their lifes. But me, experiencing sorrow through the years, I enjoy the good times and moments so incredibly much, while they seem to have lost their joy forever. So, in the end, and not begging for more 😉 I am happy with myself and all the despair I experienced until now, because I am still whole.

  21. Marina, you would probably like the greeting card (susan morsel, pondering pond) I have posted on my wall. It says ‘For all her rotten moods she wore a pair of smiling wax lips. Her friends should not have to suffer, too.’

    The movie, movies again, Dans Paris, touches on dealing with sorrow. I probably liked it because there is despair, and I grew up in a household with a certain amount of it.

  22. I do sometimes, and understandably with the moon in the 12th house as part of a stellium with sun and retrograde mercury, all in Capricorn, trine Saturn in 7th. Food sensitivities don’t help!

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