When you have a long loveless dry spell, it’s only logical that after awhile you think this will never happen for you. I came to this conclusion myself at one point, and I lived in total acceptance of this fact for a number of years. I saw that others experienced true love in their life and I just thought I would be doing something else. I thought I had some other calling or purpose, I guess. I turned out to be wrong and there are a lot of stories out there like mine.
They say you find love when you’re not looking for it. I think it’s truer to say that love finds you. I also think that many things we call “love” are not love at all. Things like power struggles, sport and pain and drama. These things may be overvalued. They certainly distract a person and fill up their life. If you’re obsessed with stuff like this, I don’t know that you would even recognize love, if it lived next door.
I’ve witnessed many people fall in love, in my line of work. It transforms them. The one thing they have in common is the willingness to leave one station in life and progress to the next.
What do see or believe about falling in love? Where is your Venus?
I kinda believe what you used to believe, lol.
Venus in Virgo.
ydee, I believed that will all my heart. I looked around at my life and all my experience and that is what it added up to.
I wrote this because I see someone now, who I believe may have found love. I don’t think anyone expected it…and I’d like to write on this topic for awhile. It’s so important…
I’ve recently concluded that I need equality, and my biggest blind spot and weakness with partnership is willingness to communicate and share information about my schedule, plans etc with another person. I’ve recently been informed that I am just unwilling to share this kind of stuff and thereby have another persons say in my life.
(what an interesting thing to find out)
My Venus is in Aries 🙂
ariesgal, everything can turn on this kind of discovery. I’ve seen it over and over.
I have Venus in Gemini squaring Saturn and opposing Neptune.
I had big dreams, but they never became reality, often because of my own disbelief that they would. It didn’t bother me too much, though, unless someone pointed it out. Then I felt truly bereft and would be sad for a couple of days.
Eventually love did find me – literally – in a roundabout, unexpected way, and in a way I’d never pictured or dreamed up.
“Eventually love did find me – literally – in a roundabout, unexpected way, and in a way I’d never pictured or dreamed up.”
I see it happen like this all the time. Love is amazing!
I do also believe what you used to believe Elsa. Also believe what dolce used to believe.
Would be thrilled if it does turn around
I had love; strong, pure love, but also flawed, so I had to walk away before it destroyed me.
I want to love again, I miss that feeling. But I am scared to look, and don’t want to lose all the other wonderful things in my life.
A friend has also told me, repeatedly, that if I stop looking it will happen. Venus conj. Neptune has a hard time not looking, love could be around the next corner, ya know?
If it was not for Saturn, I think I would be in deep trouble, and a wreck.
1st House Saturn conj. Moon sq. 4th House Venus/Neptune.
I know I am meant to love again. I just wish I had some idea of how long I’m supposed to wait (Saturn).
I appreciate the thoughtfulness of this post. I believe in love, true love, and love at first sight (Soul recognition).
I have been without a relationship since June of 2010, which for me is the longest I’ve gone without having a husband or boyfriend since I was 17.
I believe God will bring me my True Love this time. I have learned not to “settle.” I believe you can set your intent with positive affirmations to attract it to you. I agree – it finds you when you are ready for that right person. You tell the Universe/God/Goddess/Higher Energy WHAT, and God decides HOW.
I know I will get married again, and am in the process of manifesting properly this time.
Saturn conj Venus Aquarius 12th conj ASC.
Isaiah 61:7 – my two horrible marriages will mean nothing when I find MY guy!
Thank you for sharing that Isernia.
I’ve witnessed many people fall in love, in my line of work. It transforms them. The one thing they have in common is the willingness to leave one station in life and progress to the next.
This is SO true!
I’m going through this exact thing Elsa is talking about….
Here’s my chart if anyone has thoughts about it.
Sun Scorpio 19°33’06 in house 8 direct Moon Capricorn 3°28’50 in house 10 direct Mercury Scorpio 4°01’34 in house 8 retrograde Venus Libra 14°57’21 in house 7 direct Mars Sagittarius 22°16’15 in house 10 direct Jupiter Libra 2°53’20 in house 7 direct Saturn Libra 5°59’45 in house 7 direct Uranus Scorpio 25°28’17 in house 8 direct Neptune Sagittarius 21°12’48 in house 10 direct Pluto Libra 22°46’42 in house 7 direct True Node Leo 14°45’30 in house 6 retrograde
House positions (Placidus) Ascendant Pisces 10°53’55 2nd House Aries 28°19’28 3rd House Taurus 28°12’17 Imum Coeli Gemini 20°16’26 5th House Cancer 10°41’27 6th House Leo 4°28’01 Descendant Virgo 10°53’55 8th House Libra 28°19’28 9th House Scorpio 28°12’17 Medium Coeli Sagittarius 20°16’26 11th House Capricorn 10°41’27 12th House Aquarius 4°28’01
Venus in Virgo in the 8th house, also Venus conj Pluto. Not many people plumb the depths of my desire. I’m ok being single. I would rather be without the drama, thanks.
Venus in Taurus. I’m still single at 50. I went 10 years without a boyfriend in the 90s, and have also been single for the last 7 years. Venus is square Saturn…and we do tend to find love later in life, once we’ve figured out our ‘unlovabilty’ issues. This is also a Uranus issue…and I’ve got it rising, and aspecting every planet in my chart. Uranus represents fear and freedom, so I’ve had lots to work on there. At this point I’m not looking. I know I will at some point I’m sure.
I’m totally unsure of this. Venus/Asc in Scorpio trine mars/Jup in Pisces. Sometimes I totally feel the love and sometimes I totally feel the pain part. to what extent might falling in love have to do with “loving the self?” Or the interaction between Venus and the Moon/Sun?
Venus is semi-square my sun and moon…or in other words…the midpoint of an exact square.
I’m also “still single at 50”- born June 9 with a Scorpio ascendant. And, have been without a true love partnership for the past 10 years. There have been connections which have had the potential. Although, throughout my 40’s the men I’ve felt love for have been working hard or somehow unavailable. I, too, cried lots this past winter. I proceeded to change my work life in a big way. And, I’ve begun to find love in myself. I’m allowing the shared experience of love to arrive in its own time. My soulmate(s) is out there. Our day will come.
I never fell in love. I do believe in love but I also think that maybe it’s not in the cards for me.. I have Saturn and Pluto on my 5th house.. maybe I just have to wait.
I have a Pisces Venus square Neptune. I have the ability to dream of love and give it to others (social work) in an impersonal way.
I honestly don’t know what I feel about me falling in love. Not sure I believe it yet.
i have unaspected venus in taurus in my 12th house and i think it means i don’t know how to use venus in mz life. i think i do progress somehow, but alone (thinking about things), or through platonic relationships. hmmm :(. so i’m not sure if this type of progress is good enough.
Venus in Aquarius in the 12th. Venus rules my 8th house stellium (moon, mars, saturn, pluto) and also widely squares pluto, and trines my moon.
Love has usually found me, and often been difficult in some way, with power struggles, inequalities – with me giving WAY more than the other person. I have also fallen for people who are unavailable or simply not right.
I am realizing now for the first time in my life that I will not just settle for anything and fall into the next relationship unless it really meets my needs too. And they are deep needs! They totally transform (consume) me, so they had better be shared with someone equal and deserving this time round! Otherwise I will stay single, and be much happier that way until I meet the right person. This is the lesson I have learnt..
I stopped looking 8 years ago and trust me, that didn’t help. I’m rarely come on to and the people that do are flat out creepy and old (or one time, a cheater). I don’t want to date my dad or granddad! I know I’ve got it astrologically, but ew!!!! And I just plain haven’t met anyone IRL that does it for me. I think at this point I may have lost the ability to do so. Like if the one did show up, would I even notice any more?
I concur that occasionally it does happen later in life for some people. Maybe in my 40’s or 50’s, sure (another Venus square Saturn). But in the meantime, what am I to do while I wait and wait and wait and waste my life and youth waiting?
I find it easier to believe it will never happen, rather than living in hope. That way I don’t focus so much on what’s not there, don’t live my life in hope that someday The Man Will Come, don’t make life decisions hoping that someday someone will come along to take care of me. Odds are pretty high this won’t happen and it will just be me forever. Who’s to say I’m special enough for that kind of miracle anyway?
At any rate, I am the poster child for being born an old maid and knew it wasn’t going to happen for me when I was 5 years old. I have too much independence as well as codependence in my chart, and maybe it just shouldn’t happen anyway because there’s nothing like a relationship to point out what’s wrong with you allllll the time. Not fun.
My Libra sun/Leo rising dude shows definite potential. A blazing contrast to the water and earth I have had before. (won’t commit selves, want to have the unicorn without feeding the creature.)
Our libra mercuries are exactly conjunct. We are both too considerate of the other, and talk so much, we almost forget we are dating. My Venus/Pluto taps shoulder, aHEm!
His Venus/Saturn says “yeah. That IS a very important part of our relationship. I am busy now, but how is next Thursday, 9am or 3 am?”
My Taurus rising asks if we can eat first. (and a snack after).
The way we argue is too darn productive. Disappointed would-be suitor/friend laughs at me and tells me it reeks of the L-word.
We collaborate/compliment well. He likes wearing the same pants size, and taking turns. I ground his fire, he waters and warms my earth and air. He starts it, I make him finish.
Him: “I make you really unhappy, don’t I?”.
Me: “no, this bad habit frustrates me, and you. So stop it.”
Him: “OOHhhh. OK. That makes sense.”
…text…are you awake?
Call: so your boyfriend is an idiot.
Me: how unimpressed will I be?
Him: I did it AGAIN. We JUST talked about this. I have two solutions…
Me: the second one.
Him: so you’re not rage-quitting on me?
Me: nope. You fixed it, and told me about it. I only get mad when I have to tell you, and then you make a mess trying to un-do it fast, and throw a flaming bag of poo at me. I don’t care that poop happens. Taking the poop to the trashcan is GOOD. Flaming poop, bad.
Him: Oh. OK.
I am suspicious that this might be serious.
My Venus is in libra. His in Scorpio.
Sometimes I try to convince myself of the same thing, that there’s no love for me and I’ll be “doing something else” in my life but I can never believe it. Pisces Venus in the 7th house. It”s perplexing to me that I seem to be the hopelessest of romantics yet I’ve always been alone. Love is really the only thing I want in this life. It’s very sad for me but my Venus is Saturn/Mars/Uranus and the MC so it’s easy to feel doomed in that area.
Thanks for this post, Elsa.
I think the best way to draw love to you, is to just BE LOVE. Be a walking, breathing expression of G-d’s love for anyone and everyone; to greater or lesser degrees. ‘The One’ is still special, whom you love like no other, but the love for all beings is still there.
Venus conjunct NN in my 11th, trine Chiron. Love is my spiritual imperative; I can’t breathe in its absence.
@ Eixziander it’s serious. and I love it! thanks for sharing that.(Libra Moon Cap Sun)
Venus in Virgo, square Asc, Jupiter and Uranus.
I long for a love that satisfies and fulfills me, but I guess it’s not on the cosmic agenda for me. It slips out of my hand like sand every time it comes around.
Come to think of it, Venus is the apex of the t-square forming with Jupiter and Asc/Uranus. Bleh.
Venus in the 8th in Aries square Moon in 5th house Capricorn. deep, fast, and disconcerting… or totally kiboshed by the Saturn influence.
It seems I have watched others fall in love all my life…but no one has ever “fallen” in love with me. Even my ex has told me, though he loves me, that I am not the perfect mate. I have rejected many suitors in my youth. And have had crushes in my school days on guys that never knew. I have recently experienced unrequited love that will burn inside of me until my dying days. I do not expect to find love. But I have all the love in the world to share with friends, family and those in need.
Love came easily to me when I decided I wanted it.Really wanted it. Like my next breath.
It took 3 months from the moment I decided that I wanted to love, be in love, and be loved “back”, that my man came into my life. (he hadn’t been looking, though; his Venus in Libra 9th H).
Truly, It was deciding that (for me) which made it happen.
Still together and in love 23 year later (2nd marriage for me, 1st for him).
Venus in Aquarius 10th H
Venus in the fishies. With that wonderful saturn square.
Long long dry spells. By my late 20s I gave up. Literally, didn’t think I’d marry, didn’t think I’d fall in love again.
10 years later I’m married. Go figure.
I usually have too many loves going on. Maybe that’s b/c I put myself out there into the world and have a lot of interests. Too many, maybe! I get frazzled.
Venus in Gemini
Those candies look good. 🙂
Most of my long life has been a loooong dry spell. Maybe something to do with my wanderer Aries Sun in 9th or maybe with the 7th house cusp in Aquarius or with Saturn sitting in my 5th conjunct NN.
Venus in Taurus in 10th in wide opposition to Moon in Scorpio in 4th. Square Jupiter and Pluto in 1st house Leo, also trine Mars in 6th house.
At the moment the transiting Jupiter/Sun conjunction is sitting on my Venus (23 Taurus 51). Also my Solar return=Venus return.
I am hopeful (as always).
I have a pretty barren chart when it comes to love, in my opinion. Venus is in Scorpio. It’s conjunct Jupiter/MC/Neptune, square the nodal axis AND the Vertex, and widely opposite Saturn/Juno. :/
I’d also have to say my perpetual singlehood has a lot to do with the fact that my 7th house ruler (moon) is square Neptune. 99.99999% of my attractions have been unrequited, idealized illusions that have never, ever borne fruit. Many, many emotional disappointments/frustrations.
Uranus also squares both my ASC/DSC axis, and the sun (ruler of 8th house of sex and deep bonding).
I’ve felt like a cactus most of my life. It gets horribly lonely, for sure. Over the years I’ve watched the drama created by people in “love”. I used to ache when I saw that stuff, I wanted it so badly. I believed in SOUL MATES. “THE ONE is out there somewhere!!!”
But now? I have been alone for SO long (I’m 41 and have ALWAYS been single) I wonder if I’d even be capable of functioning properly in a real relationship, even if I wanted one.
I’ve come to accept that love is probably not in the cards for me this lifetime. I’m pretty cool with it, actually. I do recognize and enjoy the benefits of being single and unencumbered!
And nowadays, when I see demonstrations of love & affection between people, I feel like I’m watching a bizarre alternate reality/horror show (who ARE these strange, saliva-swapping creatures?). 😛
Venus in Libra in 1st conjunct Sun and NN; sextile Sagg moon; sextile Saturn; sextile Uranus
We have to let love in…there is nothing “wrong” with any of us. Love surrounds us and is our birthright. Recognize it every time you see it and say a prayer of gratitude whether it’s a baby bird being fed by its mother or two octogenarians holding hands. That too is meant for you. Imagine everything that you want in your relationship. Daydream about it, write about it, talk about it and possibilities will start to appear. Lastly: if the choice is between being down and negative or being hopeful and optimistic, why not go for the happiness? It can’t hurt!
Venus in gemini, Oof. Sounds like you need to find a Gemini with lots of Aquarius-at least an aqua moon.
My libra Venus is nodding furiously. When I stopped picking a person, and started writing down the “qualities” I wanted…boom! Found him. And I asked that if it was meant to be, it would be. (figured the universe knew better than I, so I am careful what I wish for.)
“I’ve witnessed many people fall in love, in my line of work. It transforms them. The one thing they have in common is the willingness to leave one station in life and progress to the next.”
So true! This reminds me that The Lover’s card in Tarot used to be called “The Decision”. It also represents giving up one way of life and committing fully to a new one.
And I think I’m going through it now…
i don’t think i’ve ever been in love because i confuse love with taking care of a person. my 7th house Cancer Venus hates the word codependent but i’m afraid that’s what it is.. after a decade of being in these one way relationships I’m finally taking care of and depending on myself. I’ve learned no one can take advantage of you unless you let them and tho its better to give, its good to get too. 😉
I don’t think we’re all meant to find it and have it. Maybe I’m just tired today, and not thinking straight, but that’s the way it is. There are people out there who never have the chance, who never are loved back and who just die without having been loved. There is no “It’ll happen to you one day, trust me!” and “There’s somebody out there for everybody!” and “It’ll happen when you least expect it.” For some people, there is nobody! No soul mate, nothing. Or maybe there is somebody but time, space or whatever issues will keep them apart and they will never know it. Where are the guarantees, really? There are none. None! It isn’t the way the universe works!
Venus very tightly quincunx Saturn, conjunct Sun, trine Neptune. Sure, I may be pleasant and nice, and I sure as hell can dream well, but it doesn’t mean it’s happening to me. I’m the person looking at everyone younger than me getting married and walking hand to hand and having kids, while I’m just… growing older and being more set in my ways.
I’ve been going out, I have been coming to terms with myself, I have been healing. I have been just doing things that I love, been just doing my hobbies, having fun, meeting people, not expecting anything. And what has it gained me? A little love? Nope.