The soldier and I on the phone…
“You were talking about the other day when you were feeling my feelings. (Compassion And Psychic Ability – Standard Issue For Moon Conjunct Neptune) My despair and all that? And how you I’ve got this stuff in me… I may not know about it, etc?”
“Yeah.”
“Well I wanted to tell you something about that.”
“Shoot.”
“Well, my hip is killing me. It really hurts. I have a bad SI joint, do you know this? I think you do,” I said knowing he read my other blog (silently) for three years and pretty sure I’d written about it about some point. “In whatever case, it’s acting up big time. It’s throbbing. It hurts like hell which means I have to go get another shot. I get the thing shot with a steroid. Cortisone or whatever.”
“Yeah?”
“Uh huh. I tore it up running out of a fire carrying my kids. I was saving them I guess. However I messed myself up bad and they did all kinds of high tech stuff there for awhile. I had to go the hospital and do stuff with my spine but none of it did any good so he decided to try this low tech way in the office which has worked beautifully. It’s painful but effective. They just stick a needle in there and shoot the thing in the office and if he gets it right and he usually does, I am good for a year or more. Maybe even two.”
“Uh huh,” he said. I could tell he was brushing his teeth. “I’d say something but I’m brushing my teeth,” he added.
“Yeah, I can hear that. Go ahead. Don’t interrupt that for this. But anyway what they do is stick a needle way in there. They use two I think, I don’t watch. I’m busy when they do this but the one needle that deposits the steroid is very fine and I think it’s flexible. Pretty sure it is as I recall. So basically they stick this needle in you all the way to the joint and then poke around looking for where it hurts the most. Because when he shoots this stuff in there, it does bring relief and it’s very quick too. So to do the most good… well you want to put this stuff right where it goes as opposed to an inch away or somewhere else off the mark.”
“Understand.”
“Yeah. So he’s got to deposit the steroid right where it hurts the most, which means he’s got to willing t hurt me bad. And I have to be willing to allow him to of course. I have to hold still while he manipulates this needle into the worst places he can find.”
“Hurts?”
“Yeah. It’s screamingly painful though I don’t scream. I can take it and in fact I have to help guide the needle. You know. I am telling him which way to move it so the needle will hopefully make contact with the epicenter of the pain which is something else if you think about it. We do this in concert… this long thin flexible needle stuck all the way in my hip… anyway you get the idea.”
“Uh huh, I do.”
“So the more successful he is at guiding this needle to where it hurts the most, the better the result will be because when he contacts a spot, it is intensely painful but as soon as he injects the steroid… well I can feel it in there and the relief is fast. Not immediate, but nearly and it’s completely palpable. “And lucky for me he does this otherwise forget about it. There would be no way to alleviate the pain. It would just be in there and I would have to live with it because there is no other way to reach it. You can’t massage it out for example. Massage doesn’t touch this. It’s too far in there. So anyway, he goes in there and hits up as much as he can. He does a good job. He is a really good doc… he tries hard and he is caring but anyway, this is what I am saying…”
“What, P?”
“Well I just think this is a good analogy for what you are talking about. You and I have our pockets of stuff… of pain and someone has to get in there with their knife. Someone skilled has to access this stuff and if they do I think we will have relief and I don’t think it will be hard, either. By that I mean I bet the relief will be fast. Healing. But you have to have someone who knows where this stuff is and what to do when they access it and I think we both have skills… superior skills on this front. So anyway, this is my story. I am interested in your knife so you go right ahead and use it. I would consider it a favor. Because if you don’t or I don’t get in there with you then we’ve no choice but just walk around with this stuff and personally, I’d rather not.”
Do you appreciate this kind of thing or no?
Totally! ‘Epicentre of pain’ is a phrase I can relate to. I have a litany of aches/old injuries I won’t bore anyone with, but my SO has broken his back twice and the relationship he has with his body is amazing. He has a very similar outlook to you; I think it’s related to his stellium in his Scorpio/6th house.
I really can appreciate this. I think the lack of being able to do this type of “surgery” in our relationships is why we remain “ill” and not at our best in relating to one another. I wish everyone would understand that this is necessary and healing and nothing to fear and not run away. It is better than medicine, especially since there is no medicine for hurt hearts.