My husband and I have been separated for some time now. He’s taken on a lifestyle that I can not support or live with. I’ve tried my hardest to keep us together, but it’s such an uphill battle. My momentum is just gone.
Some days I am fine and feel that I can get through this on my own. But then there are days like today, where I don’t think I can live without him. And my world feels like it’s falling apart.
I know there are ups and downs when you lose the love of your life. What I want to know is, should I continue to try and save him? Or should I just move on?
Dear Double Aquarius,
I feel for you and I wish there were an easy answer. I also wish I could offer your some clarity, but I can’t. In fact, I have to warn to pace yourself with this because fact is, you are not going to wash up on the beach anytime soon.
By that, I mean it’s as if you’ve had your own personal tsunami come into your life and leave you afloat. Consider some of the people left homeless by Katrina. No doubt they want to land. They want their piece of ground back, but that ain’t happening.
Further, wherever they are at the moment, they are not likely to stay there. Their lives, like yours, are in flux. Even if they go back to the same house they lived in before the storm, will it be the same? Feel the same? Of course not. And no matter how much compassion people may feel, no one can change this.
So this is your predicament. And you’ve simply got to get your sea legs. Because I doubt your husband is gone, GONE. I mean that on every level, but as an example, let’s just say you never see him again. Is he gone? Hell, no! Not when you’re thinking about him every day.
And though it may not be easy, you’re going to have to get used to it. Because as you’re finding out – this is out of your control. You can put him out of your mind intellectually before you go to bed , all good. But then you wake up in tears…
And someone can move back to their home in a storm ravaged state, with their chin up, feeling strong, planning to rebuild their life, and same thing. They feel fine this morning, but then night falls and the tears come.
I understand that feelings are not that comfortable for Sun and Moon in Aquarius, but this is where you are. Try to find the rhythm of your feelings and align yourself, sort of like lying back on a raft in a pool and letting it take you. Try to find the beauty in your emotion. Because with Neptune in Aquarius, you cannot escape the raft, but there is purpose.
Anytime you are forced to endure the egregious, there is reward in proportion. This is a universal law, as far as I am concerned. So look for that. Quit fighting. Float in that pool, look up, and ask the universe to show you something good in all this. I bet you don’t go begging.