Do You Trust People?

Recently I had someone tell me the only people he trusted in this world was me and Doris Day. “And I don’t even know if Doris Day is alive,” he added.

Well she is. I checked “Dead or Alive?” and verified this. But anyway, I trust quite a few people. Actually I trust virtually everyone I meet because I internalized Henry’s philosophy when I was a kid.

Henry thought most people were kind and that all people should be given the benefit of the doubt until they proved themselves to be disagreeable. I believed him. I absorbed this and have always lived this way. I just think people are up to good all the time, which I admit is a little naive.

Do you trust people?

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Do You Trust People? — 18 Comments

  1. I’m like you Elsa, I trust everyone until they prove to me otherwise. I agree that people deserve the benefit of the doubt.

  2. Moon in scorp conjunct pluto. I definetly have some trust issues. I picked 1 to 2 people, and that about sums it up. My soulmate who I confide every thing with him and my other best friend who has a strong pluto influence in his chart. We relate easier, and have had trust issues.

  3. I’m like you, too, BUT I have to say, I’ve also been far too willing to shush my intuition when it has warned me not to trust someone and I’ve paid for it.

  4. I don’t get exactly what I expect. People are supposed to often get what they expect because if you believe people are kind and expect to see their kindness you most likely notice more their kindness and nice deeds, and if you expect the worst out of people you most likely notice their faults more than their nicer sides and you will also have an attitude. I don’t know if this works most of the time, but I know in my case it certainly didn’t.

    I have Sagittarius rising so I started out naive and had faith in human nature. But having a packed 8th house and Pluto-Mars aspect and Pluto-Mercury and Pluto square my ascendant and quintile my Moon, soon enough I started to see all the shit going on around me, because with Pluto being a major influence in your chart you can’t remain naive about human nature – not recognising its dark side in others and in yourself is like defying Pluto or something 🙂 – you know, the God of the Underworld. And by dark side I do mean dark – having a very close relative who has been repeatedly raped by her spouse which I was aware of since I remember myself, being aware of domestic violence through friends whose parents abused them and through neighbors. I was molested myself by someone I trusted. You see, it revolves around trust – I have two relatives who were raped not by strangers, but by their spouses which they initially trusted, kids beaten by their parents who are supposed to be the ones to protect them – the people one normally trusts the most were not to be trusted.

    I still kept my faith in human nature for a very long time, refusing to “learn the lesson”. And I didn’t get what I expected – my friends turned on me, I was used at work as I made the mistake of trusting my employer, I had my share of sexual harassment and was also attacked once in the park in broad day light which I thought would end in rape, but I somehow managed to intimidate him off although physically I had no chance against him.

    In the end I became suspicious about people – everyone is guilty until proven otherwise. And you can’t really know anyone ever, even if you lived all your life with them. You know, when the Berlin Wall came down they got all the records of the secret police from East Germany and you wouldn’t believe how many people were spying on their spouses – people that were married for 20 years and more, people were spying on their relatives, parents, kids, brothers, friends, no one is to be trusted.

    It sounds pretty depressing but it’s not since again I don’t get what I expect :-). When my basic attitude was to trust people I got to see their dark side. Now that I recognise the dark side in human nature and protect myself I don’t get to see it very often. I choose my friends very carefully and consequently don’t get disappointed at them very often, and I don’t let people take advantage of me, I don’t act naive so people don’t take me for someone they can easily use or abuse, so I get to see a lot less of their dark side 🙂

  5. Oh, so it’s related to Moon/Pluto contacts, then…? That makes sense!! I have a Pisces Moon opposite Pluto in Virgo and everything Deby, Laura Elizabeth and Lori wrote resonates deeply. My Pisces Moon is DYING to trust everyone, even going so far as to jam the signals that scream, This person is not to be trusted!!!

    Oh, so that makes sense. Huh.

  6. Marly (#6), I think it’s first of all a growing up thing – everyone start out naive, believe in the good will of people around them unless they have a good reason not to, and want to believe our world is basically a good place and human nature is basically good. But as we experience more and more of life we discover not everything is good and people don’t always act out of good will, and that would include ourselves at times since we are not angels but mere mortals.

    But aside of that, of what everyone experiences, I think it’s a Pluto thing. It’s not necessarily a Pluto-Moon contact, but Pluto being pronounced in your chart in some way. Then trust would become an issue in some way. It’s normally an issue for Scorpios. I had a Scorpio acquaintance who described it this way: Either you are with him or you are against him. He was a very hurt Scorpio and that was the way he related to people – when he would meet a new person his first instinct was trying to figure out if that person was “on his side” or “against him” – there was no third option and there were no gray shades – if he didn’t feel you were “on his side” than you were an enemy to be wary of or even get back at. I suppose most Scorpios are not that extreme, but he was a very hurt one and that’s where Scorpio’s reputation comes from. They try to study people because they have a trust issue and need to know where people are coming from and if they are “a friend or foe” – if they are not their friend then they are on the “enemy” side and are not to be trusted until proven otherwise. And they are suspicious because they are deeply emotional and so they have been deeply hurt because being that emotional deep hurt is unavoidable.

    Pluto is the god of the Underworld and you can see it as a sort of a power struggle – “he” “wants” you to recognize “his domain” and if you wouldn’t, he’ll make you. So where Pluto is in your chart – its sign, house and aspects – these are the places where you are likely to meet Pluto and where you may be forced to let go of your innocence and change. For example, if Pluto is affecting your Venus then you might find out love is not all niceties and roses and caring and warm affection. You might be forced to recognize love has its dark side – if you mix Venus with Pluto then emotions run deep and you might encounter and have to deal with such painful issues as intense jealousy, possessiveness, love triangles, lose of a loved one, losing yourself in love/relationship or your image of yourself as a lover – in some way love will show you its dark side and you will not be able to remain innocent. Pluto is god of the dead, so modern astrologers will call it transformation and growth – something in you should die to give way to a new and deeper perspective of yourself and the world, so you grow as a person – Pluto experiences are transfroming. Well, I guess you could call them that too.

    If Pluto is affecting your Sun or your Moon then these are two aspects of your Self, where the Moon is more instinctive, responsive and unconscious than the Sun – then it is your self that would transform. So with your Pisces Moon you would be dying to trust everyone since in a sense you are everyone or somewhere deep would want to be emotionally one with everyone, their pains being your pains and yours being theirs – recognizing there are emotional boundaries between people would be the hardest thing. But if all people are emotionally one and everyone is trustworthy and everything is nice and peachy then where is Pluto in this picture? And where is his domain? And where is your recognition of him? He wouldn’t have it this way, would he? So you’ll have to change. Try to see it his way, you have a Pisces Moon, you can empathize even with Pluto – when everything and everyone is nice and peachy the poor old SOB is just feeling lonely and deserted, he just wants your attention and he lets you know.

    I think some of it stems from the way “Pluto people” percieve the world and interpret it. I mean, different people can go through similar experiences and react differently and come to different conclusions. So someone that doesn’t have a Moon-Pluto apect can go through the same experience as you but you might be affected differently. But I think we also might be some way “drawing” experiences that fit our Pluto placement.

  7. I trust a lot of people. I have some amazing people in my life and some uncanny intuition, and for that I am infinately grateful.

    Thanks for sharing all your Plutonian experiences, folks. It is good, informative reading!

  8. For myself it depends on the situation and gut instincts. I suppose trust in oneself is pretty important. As in, do you trust yourself to be a good judge of character and your environment, do you trust yourself to create appropriate boundaries and in your ability to enforce them etc.

    Besides, trust is a complicated thing b/c people are complicated. e.g. One person I might trust with say, returning a huge loan, I might not trust with a personal secret.

    I’m a triple Sag (including moon), Pluto square ASC/Mars, sextile Venus.

  9. OOpsie Debby you are the ‘folks’ I meant to thank!
    You are a wise woman, and have illustrated beautifully how one can transcend trust issues by acknowledging life’s dark side.

  10. I tend to trust everyone. People deserve to be trusted. I am attracted to people who trust no-one, boyfriend and friends alike. And I stare at them and think:’you are so different from me :-)’I am interested in the boundaries between trust and distrust, in my personal life, but that might also be why I am writing a PhD in political science…

  11. Thanks, Debby! As a matter of fact, I have a Pluto/Venus/Moon t-square with Venus in the 12th so everything you say is illuminating. With Venus in the 12th, I have an even harder time seeing a beloved’s dark side. I REFUSE!! But I’ve realized that it’s dumb to go against my intuition when it detects someone’s dark side. It’s a huge challenge, though. It is also very hard for me to see the dark side of women. It’s like I have to will myself to be less trusting without being paranoid. Very challenging.

  12. I tend to waiver in my trust of people. I think it’s because I naively ignored warning signs with those who eventually screwed me over. Because there are always signs, yanno?

  13. I used to be a very trusting. In fact until quite recently. I gave people the benefit of the doubt. Over this Mars retrograde and the multiple Mercury retrogrades I have been soooo messed over by people I trusted. It will take a while to get my shields back up and be empathetic again.

  14. I used to be a very trusting individual until quite recently. Maybe too trusting. It might be the Mars retrograde and all those Mercury retrogrades. People used my trusting nature to sucker me in. I was let go from my job out of the blue. Relationships down the tubes when I discovered the abuse of my trust. The past six months have been really bad. However it appears that things might be staring to change for the better, at least in one area. I’ll have to do what I need to and see what happens.

  15. Absolutely not… 🙁 I have been burned too many times and way too deeply to randomly trust people. I have a stellium in scorpio first house (and rising) as well as virgo sun, taurus moon.. so Im not sure if that recipe makes for this way of being.
    My own mother is disloyal, so when the one closest to you can act that way, its hard to trust others.

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