Do Loud, Aggressive People Vex The Spirit?

Randamandar writes:

“From Desiderata- Avoid loud and aggressive people as they are a vexation to the spirit.’

I can hear the Soldier now, You don’t know the meaning of vexation, I’ll show you vexation.”

I called him.

“What do you think of this?” I asked my husband.  He has Mercury in Aries.

“Well I think that those who are weak, mindless, spineless and never question authority are a vexation to the spirit. What do you think, P? What do people like that do for the spirit? I think I have a lot of spirit and I am loud, aggressive and spirited.  Where is that quote from?”

“The Desiderata.”

“That poem they found in a church in the 1600’s?  Well that’s one of my favorite writings. I don’t recall that part.  But anyway, you have to take that in it’s entirety.  They are probably talking about boisterous bar types.  Blowhards. You know the type. So that’s my interpretation of that. That’s a different kind of loud and aggressive, I’d say. What do you think happened with that?  The person wrote it and thought it was nothing?”

“Yep, probably wrote it and thought it was nothing…”

Do you think loud and aggressive people vex the spirit? 

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Do Loud, Aggressive People Vex The Spirit? — 33 Comments

  1. Right on wyrdling! I have met people like that. The blow hards that the Soldier talks about. One of them married my sister in law despite many misgivings and warnings from others. He was absolutley one of the worst fathers of all time.
    Definitely a lounge lizard and blow hard!

    ‘That is a different kind of loud and aggressive.’ an excellent quote from a man of substance!, Our Soldier.

  2. Yes, absolutely.

    Two reasons why this can be okay:

    a) Almost everybody has a loud and aggressive side. If you are incapable of being quiet, you’re not only a vexation to the spirit, you’re a waste of space… not merely that, but a particularly offensive waste of space, because as the enormous personality that you are, you’re taking up far more emotional space than anybody else around you. But it’s a rare person who’s born with no volume switch at all. And people who have moments of BIGNESS can be exhilirating.

    b) There are plenty of times that call for a little helpful vexation. Sometimes people need stirring to action, or dressing down. There are plenty of hellish places and situations in this world, where a loud and aggressive person is not only desired, but essential.

    But I’ve been trapped for years in a cage with such a person, and it’s hard to think of anything worse than the way he used nothing more than the sheer force of his energy and volume to slowly crush the people around him.

    It’s power. You either keep it under control, take it out somewhere where it will be useful, or yes… you make people miserable with it.

  3. Another thought. Fast and loose. If I was being loud and aggressive [and I admit, I am capable of that.] and someone said to me, Avoid loud and aggressive people as they are vexations to the spirit, or more likely asked me to tone it down or chill out, I might say, Vexation to the spirit, I will show you Vexation of the Spirit! I will kick your ass with my vexation. It would be a joke, but I would get their point and I would likely tone it down.

    • At first make a concious effort to soften your voice
      Doesn’t mean your weak.see what kind of response you get. After a while it will come more naturally with practice.if a situation calls upon than yes show that agressiveness but as far as dealing with people on a day to day basis try this. Hope this was helpful.
      .

  4. I’ve swung from loud to silent. I’ve been thanked for my ability to bolster the spirit of others through my enthusiasm (usually Geminis, oh well)!
    I’ve been slagged off for being too loud (some people find it really annoying, go figure).

    I’m coming back towards the middle. I’ve eliminated the people who cut me down for being myself and I’m more accepting of myself now. My Sun/Saturn square took hit after hit for a few years. Guess what? I’m loud!

  5. Only if one lets the loud and agressive vex ones spirit. Obviously there will be conflict of controversy in the same room as the “loud and agressive” but why give them the power to vex spirit? Leave! Say goodbye or just be ok with it.

    Wondering why the Aries symbol has been singled out here because there are good cross section of “louds” across the whole zodiac. I work in anger management therapy for children and teenagers etc and previously an intellectually “loud agressive” one might say. I know that the force has changed in me now, thanks to Obe one kanobe.

    kingsley

  6. I have been called loud MANY MANY times by people who are insecure with themselves. There is nothing wrong with being loud, it’s being loud in combination with being uncaring, tactless or egotistical that is a vexation to the spirit. If you have something valuable to say the louder the better! If you’re lame or boring, stfu.

    • At first make a concious effort to soften your voice
      Doesn’t mean your weak.see what kind of response you get. After a while it will come more naturally with practice.if a situation calls upon than yes show that agressiveness but as far as dealing with people on a day to day basis try this. Hope this was helpful.
      .

    • I play music so I must admit that my wars are sensitive to tones and sounds .I think what I hateis people being loud for thesake of getting attention not for a real purpose.

  7. Kingsley – I singled our Aries because the original comment assumed his response so I wanted to go straight to the source and get his real response. He actually made your point at well. I think I get to decide what vexes my spirit!

  8. Do you think loud and aggressive people vex the spirit?

    Of course we do! How the hell is anything supposed to get done otherwise?

    max
    [‘Don’t try this at home.’]

  9. The city where I live is loud and aggressive and it does vex my spirit.

    Now, on a more personal note, if my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend were a little more loud and aggressive, it would be less frustrating than the cold and silent behavior (which I realize is what I do and commented about on another post!)

  10. Just for the sake of historical accuracy, Desiderata was actually written in the 1920’s. The misconception comes from unclear wording in the original compilation it was in. It said something like “Desiderata: St. Paul’s Church; Baltimore 1692” which was referring to the date the church was founded, and not the date of the text. Here’s a link: http://books.google.com/books?id=2Tu3bScwKKAC&pg=PT237#v=onepage&q&f=false

    Gemini factoid! 🙂

  11. Loud -and- aggressive people are vexations to the spirit. Especially the spirit they are being aggressive towards. Loud by itself isn’t necessarily bad but when it accentuates aggression it might be. If it doesn’t apply in your life and you see loud aggression as strength’s awakening perhaps you’ve encountered some hearty folks. As for myself and based on my experiences of living with a narcissist, I’ll take the poems good advice and avoid them.

  12. If you’re talking about loud, aggressive bullies, then yes, they vex the spirit. As for good people who are just loud and aggressive by nature, I can respect them for the good they do but can’t stand being around them if I can help it. They fray my nerves.

  13. Depends on the context. Too much of any extreme vexes my spirit and begs for balance. If I’m around nice, people-pleasing, positivity do-gooders for too long, then I will long for a loud, aggressive, bluntly honest type to come shake up the environment. And conversely, the opposite when it occurs. In general, I prefer people who challenge the status quo. (Mars/Moon 10th)

  14. Sudden loud or high pitched noises stress me out. an accumulation throughout the day can create imprints of stress. I am also afraid and immediately on the defensive around drunk loud dudes, even drunk aggressive girls, or bros of any kind. I notice when I do practices in a room where the window opens to a daycare with recess, there is plenty of shouting random high pitched shouting. I try not to meditate during recess but I don’t know when it is, I try not to be mad or annoyed but even that gathers. There is also a child out there that appears to be let out to angrily scream and cry. I don’t understand what the parents do to it.

    I think my definition of stress is unpleasant stuff you have to rake without complaint that stretches your ideal quality of life. i.e. a stressful job is one that steps on your values of a quality of life (for instance no lunch time) and you can’t do anything to fight back.

    I think my insecurity and combative hypervigilance makes me stressed and easily spooked by sudden noises. Sometimes it has been a group of dudes yelling “fatty” at me or some such thing. I need to immediately get them back with a snide comment or some way to swat at them or much like a bug bite it will emotionally itch and swell a lot later. I have stopped being able to let male douchery go unpunished. But it has turned into a complex.

    I think animals in the wild find loud sounds annoying cause they can signal a threat. I think some loud noises raise the adrenaline.

    If someone is loud and yelling at me I will feel the need to get even louder or else they are dominating me. Situations like this are exhausting. Loud people aren’t my favorite people. In some places men will fight women for stepping up to them, I have to be prepared for this instance and not back down even though I know I will lose badly. The fact they’d want to fight me or get in my face is so repellent to me. Even if they’re responding to my aggressive comment (i.e. “quit staring at me” after they have been leering for 2 minutes even as I give them a dirty look.) In other places they will just stop doing what they are doing.

      • Interesting remark. I have to think about this. I’m having my Mars/Pluto transit. And I have a 12th house Mars. What’s the non-shadow side of yang energy?

        I also take any negative male judgment of any kind super hard. (The animalistic quick judgment like “checking out” or avoiding.. I always notice it even if it means nothing to them and they don’t notice themselves doing it. Leering from the wrong people, rejection by the right people, etc.) So there’s that.

      • Some days back I ran into some loud girls who were drinking out of a plastic bottle. I was annoyed that I was scared of them.
        Turns out they were going to the same party I was going to. As it happens, when you join a band like that, your perception of them as a threat changes. Being outside the group and in it feels really different. I’m sure if I were friends with bullies as a child I wouldn’t always stop them and might enable their behavior.

  15. I process loudness as dominance and will posture accordingly. I refuse to submit to such a thing I don’t care where you’re from.

  16. They vex me for sure. I hide from loud and aggressive people. I find that they are usually not very conscious and that’s something I avoid as well.

    • Also a curious observation. I find that little kids don’t notice when their pitch goes above the level dictated by their surroundings. Because they are less aware of them, it is some social norm that needs to be taught (i.e. don’t scream on the train in the morning). But, limiting the natural behavior of little kids is also an iffy move.

      • I dont think limiting the natural behavior of little kids is an iffy move at all. In my case, Im trying to help my son get along in society as easily as possible. And when it comes down to it, people that are annoying have a harder time forming friendships, getting jobs, having relationships etc. So I encourage him to have some awareness of others and to not be annoying.

  17. It depends… some people can be loud and be cool as hell and others are annoying. Can’t lump all loud people into the same box. Just like quiet people they’re all diffrent. I tend to be attracted to the cool and charasmatic kind of loud in a man particularly… ala my Ur/Jup in Sag…Uranus is my 7th ruler. But he also has to be plutonian. So there has to be a mix of loud, charasmatic, and powerful for me to find someone cool. This is something you can generally only see in person. In no way do they vex the spirit.

  18. All aggressive people vex my spirit, whether loud, moderate or dead silent.

    I avoid them like the plague. (Which means you don’t always know they’re coming or where they lurk, same as any virus. Sometimes they catch you.)

    Note that I make a distinction between being aggressive (bad 99% of the time) and being assertive (good 99% of the time).

    As for loud, there is a time and place. As long as it is respectful, I will tolerate it, in small doses. I have physical issues that make all noises/sounds problematic for me. But that’s just me.

    My spirit likes, loves, prefers modulated and assertive.

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