Your relationship with your mother begs for revolution, but once will not be enough. This is a static situation – a life time challenge that shows up in YOUR chart. Recognize that your mother stimulates you, and get as hip as you can to this, to maximize benefit.
For example, your success in part, is a rebellion against her negativity. Not that this is an easy way to go! But compare to some other gal who is coddled by her mother. In this way, your mother is the sand in your oyster.
But the main key here is DEATCHMENT. Learn to scope your mother in a cool and intellectual way and I’ll tell you a story to illustrate.
My daughter had a mean teacher awhile back. She was authentically mean, (and well meaning) and hoards of parents complained. I thought about complaining myself, but didn’t. I decided to teach my daughter something important, instead.
I explained to my nine year old, that this woman was slightly skittish. Maybe even really skittish. I told her there were people like this in the world and in fact – for the record, I was sort of skittish and so was she. However, in spite of her fairly bizarre methods, I felt her teacher was really into teaching. She very much wanted to help children, she just had a very unconventional and nutty way of doing so.
“Now I can and will complain, if you want. But there are skittish people all over the place, so how about you try to figure her out? See, I really don’t think she’s going to cut your fingers off, hon. She just thinks that’s a funny way to teach kids…”
Next day, my daughter went to school, completely empowered. She had this teacher’s number. Within a week, she had that teacher eating out of her hand, and my point?
Well this is the power in detaching. Basically, my daughter recognized the fact she was dealing with (good-hearted) Psycho Teacher. Armed with this information, she quit reacting to her emotionally, and Voila!
If you can adapt this scenario to your situation with your mom, I can just about guarantee improved relations.