I have felt intensely deep feelings of shame and humiliation over these last couple of days. The fury of it all has taken me aback. I can’t even recall the last time I felt shame(d) to this degree. I would have been decades ago. I may even have been a teenager!
I feel this peaked, yesterday. I finally decided to look at the sky. Well, first I looked for info. The only astrological reference to “humiliation” is right here on this blog! See the discussion here.
Saturn is implicated, according to that thread. I checked the current sky. Saturn in Capricorn is opposing the Sun in Cancer. The Moon in Libra fills in the t-square.
These bodies all aspect my natal Mars. That’s explains the ferocity of my feelings. This has been nothing short of horrific. And here’s what kills me…
I am living in circumstances (unbeknownst to almost everyone) that are totally and utterly humiliating. The situation is out of this world. I know humiliation inside and out at this point. I have worked hard to become equipped to deal with it but this???
These feelings are go beyond my capacity to cope. It’s a clear sign to me, I’m in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing.
So I am going to stop now and that’s going to be the end of it. I don’t think you should ever get complacent or comfortable with the idea you’ve seen it all or felt it all, or whatever. It seems there is always a further “down” or a further “out”. And there is an upside here…
When something gets to hurting you this bad, you will snap. And once you do, you’re free.
I want to note, I know that I am responsible for my feelings! I think what happened here is I repressed my feelings and… um… then they got loose. There is another lesson in that.
What can you tell us about feeling shamed and/or humiliated?