58 thoughts on “Scorpio And Trust – The Vetting Process”
alicia
Great topic Elsa! My fiance is a Scorpio Sun (conjunct Uranus and Mercury), and I am intimately familiar with the Scorpio probe and trust issues. He has a tough time with trust and is tested constantly. I think as a Pisces, I was brought in his life to help him learn to “let go” of some of these issues. And I know I’ve adopted some of his rules of trust (aka, cross me and you’ll lose me).
I don’t trust many people (Scorp Sun, Scorp MC, Pluto in the 8th). I never trust coworkers or bosses. “Friends” are a suspect group that will only get fleeting moments of trust. The people I trust unconditionally will be very select family members (2 of them) and all my lovers.
When my senses suggest I can trust someone I’m all in, completely in…sometimes to the point of being gullible. I’m an extremist and will just open my heart all the way.
Yes, I have been hurt and betrayed because of it, but once I trust and get betrayed in some way I still don’t regret my decision because as a Scorpio I know even my beloveds have dark and light and that humans are complicated.
Once betrayed, if it’s severe I jettison that person quickly and permanently, but I will give second chances depending on the level of my entanglement and the tenderness of my feelings.
I have major trust issues – it sucks. I am not Sun Scorpio, but I have Moon, Neptune, and Scorpio Ascendant. I guess the difference for me is if someone has never given me a reason to mistrust them, I don’t put any energy into not believing them. But once someone has broken that precious trust, I can never get my faith in them completely restored. With very hard work, I can go 99.9%, but painfully, never back to complete trust.
I have Scorpio Mercury sextile Pluto & I take people at their word and am trusting. But Neptune is on my Merc so maybe that leavens it.
When I was younger, I was one of those “really? ‘Gullible’ isn’t in the dictionary? That’s weird.” people haha.
I do probe a person’s “vibes” if I don’t know them yet & that is a factor if I trust them but that is kind of an involuntary action on my part & nothing I consciously try to do.
It can be somewhat complicated. I’m on the autistic spectrum, and have pluto aspecting several planets (sun, moon, mercury, jupiter, saturn, neptune, a few asteroids), as well as midheaven and ascendent. One of the things that I’ve realized early on is that paranoia is simply better than getting raped or murdered or ripped off, and that people lie alot (I also still have a problem with picking up jokes and sarcasm), so it’s a big safety issue with me. My mentality goes like this, maybe they believe what they say themselves, but never forget to scan/watch the hell out of them, and if they cross the line, never forget or let them off the hook, because it can come back to destroy you. Or you just get emotionally hurt. Neither are great endings, so it’s best to avoid getting screwed as much as possible. There is a great need to be on my guard 24/7 that will probably never go away.
“Friends” are a suspect group that will only get fleeting moments of trust.
Sun Merc Neptune Scorp– I think I trust people pretty quickly, if they deserve it. I must say though that I do not probe at all, I find it very invasive. Plus I already have people figured out within minutes, so I just let them reveal themselves. I have to fake another persona to make small talk in social situations, unless I hit it off with someone and it’s not necessary.
As a Scorpio Sun/Mercury (sun in 11th/Mercury in 12th), I mostly trust friends until they prove otherwise. With colleagues or others, it takes a while to gain my trust.
I agree with you that I do “probe” into people’s personality. I like to figure out/investigate what makes people tick. In fact, I just can’t seem to turn off this part of my mind. It is as if I am always thinking about people’s actions and motivations. Not necessarily to “judge” them, but as a kind of psychological experiment. To see if my initial impression of them was true. Although, I do basically get a “feeling” about their true self within minutes and I am usually right.
I like to figure out/investigate what makes people tick. In fact, I just can’t seem to turn off this part of my mind. It is as if I am always thinking about people’s actions and motivations. Not necessarily to “judge” them, but as a kind of psychological experiment. To see if my initial impression of them was true.
*very guilty*
“I just let them reveal themselves”
And they do.
Indeed, but I just wish it’d be in time more often for more people to notice before it’s too late.
I think I said that I tend to take people at their word but that may not be exactly true. Scorpio ascendant with a 12th house Scorpio moon and my intuition is lightening fast with people. I am very subtle about probing in most situations. (My 7th house Gemini sun is always tactful.)
I agree that people reveal themselves. If you are paying attention it happens very quickly in most cases. Most people show their cards all over the place even when they think they’re being slick.
I think other people think I trust them but I really don’t. But I want them to believe I trust them because then they will trust me and tell me everything. I constantly gather information about my surrounding people so I can be ready for anything. This I have had to learn because I seem to attract the type that only care about them selves and want to use me. When they betray me it still hurts but I don’t care any more.
How’s this? I don’t trust any Scorpios. Period. I came from a abusive Scorpio mother who rather throw/give away all of her money to her whore sister who almost murdered me and my dad. Another Scorpio friend I met sleeps with married men?…how’s that for trust-worthy. Another one I met, led a really nice girl on for almost 3 years, engaged and 2 weeks before the wedding, told her he never loved her and still loves his ex-girlfriend.And the sad part is that I know many more…. So lets see, about all my encounters with Scorpios have been very negative. Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde type of thing. They want to know the real you, but I sure as hell am afraid of knowing the real them. To the point I cut all ties with Scorpios in my life. Yup. Don’t want them as friends, relatives, lovers, etc…in MY experience, they are manipulative and cunning, and to be honest really don’t care if they trust me or not, after all the universe doesn’t only revolve around them. Give and take is foreign to those I met. The modus operandi is to manipulative through mind games to gain what they want. Sorry if it sounds harsh but this whole pseudo “trust” thing seems to me more as “let me find out all about you so I can stab you in the back later”….maybe this explains the isolation too…ok end rant.
OMG Hell yes. People always think I am nuts, but I do not trust them. They always come with a sob story and try to get you to let your guards down so they can cross you. Then, everyone is expandable except their lovers. I just don’t trust them. I am a Libra. The females are so threatened by us.
I have 5 planets in Scorpio in my 1st house (sun, moon, mars, venus, & mercury).
You never want to have a job interview with me. I check out everything on your resume, google you, and then feel very satisfied when my bullsh*t detector was right.
I think that Scorps are this way because we can be a bit calculating and Machiavellian ourselves. We just can’t believe that others aren’t scheming all the time the way we are. We want to figure your game out before you figure out ours. We are thinking ” If I was him/her, I’d totally be doing/thinking _____”. We don’t believe you when you say what you say because WE think you should be doing/thinking the things that WE would be doing/thinking if WE were you” Why aren’t you a schemer like us? What’s your angle? What do you mean you aren’t trying to advance your some aspect of your life to your advantage? What’s wrong with you?
Sometimes we just want to figure you out- period. Asking you questions is like having a personal “Choose Your Own Adventure” storybook. We like to see where the story goes when we peel back all of the layers.
When it comes to trust and love- I’ve been in a long term relationship with a Pisces for over 17 years and it’s a beautiful thing. But before that I was in a short relationship with a guy who was secretly with his ex while we were dating. I never spoke to him (as myself) again. Even though we had to perform a musical number on stage together a few weeks after the breakup, I never ever looked him in the eye again (I looked at his forehead when performing). I can be like a mobster “Your Dead to Me” when it comes to people that hurt me. Thankfully I haven’t had to experience too much of that in my life so far.
Love this topic. Definitely a good one to think about throughout the day. Especially when thinking back on meeting other Mercury in Scorp people. Lol wow. Totally, spy versus spy, but all sniper shots. Not a fun experience, this not being trusted, even (or especially) when I do the same thing! Aie. O when will the suffering end.
Yeah, I think trust is a strong word. I do have key people that I let into my life. But, trust? Hmm.. I trust people with certain parts of my life, yes, but trust completely… I have to get back to on that.
Trust is difficult. I sway back and forth, almost afraid to get too comfortable. For me at least (Mercury-Saturn conjunct, go fig), there’s a feeling that people will never accept me fully for who I am, what I am, how I am. And, mini impending dooms may happen in the relationship. Depending. So, I gotta be ready for what disasters may (or may not) happen. I agree with the other folks here. I watch myself probe and withhold myself from the other person. Even when I know it’s not always good for the other person, for us or for me.
Yeah, with relationships, I’ve been trained to think (Merc) in a “don’t invest” or a “they could hurt you” way partially by my parents (Saturn). And, from highly painful experiences in my past. They may be nothing for the other individual but for me, it hits twice as hard. Just adds incentive not to trust many.
Lately, I haven’t been able to trust those who are telling me what to do (giving advice, giving criticism, giving me negativity) for years now. Ex: Parents. Because I haven’t yet re-learned how to see which is which just yet.
Sometimes, people think they’re being helpful. Are they?
But, to answer your question, Elsa, mmm. I think it’s possible to gain the trust of a Scorpio mind. It just hasn’t happened to me just yet. Good luck everyone.
this video really speaks to me, and in fact i was the first to comment on that blog mentioned in the video.
I have a scorpio stellium (venus, mercury, pluto)
After watching the video (twice) i really started to think about the trust issues in my life and i realized these issues only develop when it comes to love relationships with men. I have no problem trusting my friends, or even strangers. But when it comes to love and relationships, i cannot take ANYTHING at face value. It is very exhausting. There is no end to it. Even when someone proves himself to me, i am still probing and trying to find something, anything! But in the end i don’t even know what i’m trying to prove! It becomes obsessive almost.
Im thinking maybe thats a venus scorpio thing. For some reason I have a hard time trusting men. I know many wonderful good hearted men and I adore them and trust them with my life and my love… As long as I’m not IN love
Great topic. I’m pisces, with scorpio rising and scorpio moon (1st) and uranus (12). I don’t have trust issues, except sometimes in heart related matters (and then I’m aware that it comes from my insecurities). I scan people right from the start, without even trying. I’m not testing them in any way, just observing. Very soon I can tell who is trustworthy. I never thought about it. It came naturally. Only recently I realized many people don’t have that hunch. sometimes it’s completely obvious to me that someone is lying or miss presenting themselves, but other people don’t see it. Usually then I can keep it to myself.
Thanks to this intuition or whatever is called, I quickly made friends with people, who turned out to be friends forever. It never happened that I misjudged someone, or that someone whom I trusted, stabbed me in the back.
Scorp sun here. Trust is usually balanced. I mean, I’m not gullible anymore though I used to be. I’d be interested to know what sign “GoFigure” up top is because in that person’s case, something is off.
Honestly, I don’t probe much because I’ve learned everyone is individual. All I care about is character and integrity. If they have good character, that’s all I need to know. I don’t really like knowing a person’s guts until they feel ready to share. At the same time, a person who overshares from day one and probes me is highly suspect.
All signs can manipulate. We’re all human. This is just my thinking. I’ve been burned by fellow Scorps but that was because I ignored niggling concerns and told myself it was nothing. Had i listened to my instincts, I would have gotten away from them before they abused my trust. I’ve placed great trust in Gemini’s and been badly used and abused by them. But, I have a lot of new Gemini friends who are aces – truly, in all respects. So for me, I don’t go by sign. A person is an individual first. Life experience shapes them first and foremost. How they deal with it is sun sign I guess? Assholes abound in every sign 🙂 At least, that’s been my experience.
Wyrdling, that last comment made me laugh. I’ve got a dear, sweet nephew who, after being burned by his first love, now proclaims that all women are screwed up! lol This mostly comes from the way his mother was with him. She’s a piece of work, not in any of our lives anymore. Anyway, he loved my Mother, and loves me, and has an incredibly awesome stepmom. All of us are strong, loving and level headed women. I’m trying hard to make him see that this viewpoint he’s adopting isn’t right. Having no luck so far!! lol
i have 4 planets in scorpio, including the sun. scorps can get a bad rap, but most of the ones i know, myself included, tend to go by our gut first. if the gut says the person is ok, then fine, we trust. the probing? we want to know what and how much to expect of you. and we find people and the exploration of human nature FASCINATING! but i don’t usually have to ask much because people feel really comfortable telling their innermost secrets to me. everyone! guess they know that the truth is that i will not hurt them. this is true. what is the point in doing that? the fact is, if you listen, no matter your natal chart, people will tell right in the beginning who and what they are…
the thing about scorpio is that we do know the dark side that lurks in us, and in EVERYBODY, and so can be very, very forgiving of people we like. it takes something pretty extreme for me to permanently jettison a person from my life, and that is after they got many, many chances… so i don’t think that “trust” is necessarily the issue. a person who is habitually boring and or annoying will get dropped real quick, tho’. scorpios need something interesting and preferably deep to explore…
the thing is that for scorp, knowing the deep about people makes it soooooooooo easy to fuck with them that some do it almost just for fun if they’ve been angered. but they’re always really really sorry later that they let their lower nature escape. control of ONESELF, not others, is really ultimately what the scorpio is all about…
in my experience, pisces can have major trust issues, and cancer, even more than scorpio. scorpio rising can often have more trust issues than those with scorpio planets, no matter the person’s sun, with the exception of mercury in scorpio. i’ve noticed that 11th house ruled by scorpio can present trust problems as well as the 8th.
Venus Saturn and Pluto in Scorpio 10th house
…yup, the doubt and the questions are pretty much always there and even when the fade, my suspicions are easily roused.
I trust only when I HAVE to, pretty much life and death situations.
clio – I get the same response. Perfect strangers tell me their most intimate details right after hello!
Love this vid & thread Elsa!
Clio said, “making it easy to ‘****’ with them.”
yes, Yes, YES! I distinctly remember a lady Scorp friend who was talking about some woman co-worker being angry with her for no particular reason. Her response, “That lame-*** is a jealous BLEEP, I WILL **** her husband!”
…AND, she did!!!
Talk about letting the lower nature escape. Did she ever regret it? Not yet, I don’t think she’s reached her higher Scorpionic levels yet.
Im a scorpio and the people i trust, i have known for years and years and know their personalites 100%, they need to prove themselves. I will slowly give the person by trust, bit by bit and if they break it, i just pull all that back.
There is a point in which scorpios will trust you completely, but it is not common, thats why they only keep a few close friends to them that will be there for life, because they know those people are worth it.
My mother is a scorpio and she doesn’t trust anybody – not really. I think the closest she’s ever come is with me. I think this comes from being ‘betrayed’ by the people who were supposed to be trustworthy: her mother betrayed her by dying at such a young age, her father betrayed her by running off with another woman and God betrayed her by letting it all happen.
As these things go – she grew up to recreate this situation and married my father who betrayed her as well. He got custody of me and that was a betrayal by me – or so she thought. It took me years to convince her that I wasn’t going anywhere and she tried her hardest to make me go.
She has a lot of people in her life now, but I’ve noticed that although she’s there for them she doesn’t confide in them. And should they ever even think of betraying her – she’d be gone in a moment. So she keeps them always on edge, afraid to stand up to her, or tell her what they really think or even just disagree with her.
looks like i’ve got sun, merc, venus, and pluto in scorpio. got your super capricorn rising, too. i might be the devil if i weren’t blessed with an aquarius moon, lucky me. some saving grace is allowed to us all, i guess.
and about trust – i never trust strangers. i’m a totally suspicious person. i never hear the words people say, i hear their truthfullness. but hey, i love honesty like nobody else i know, and i don’t trudge on it or its messengers. when people tell the truth, i find that out quick like you said and i let it go. i also don’t point out a liar, i just drop them off the planet without any more concern for a single word they say. but i’d never keep prodding after the ceremony was over -ha. that’s just mean.
I am a Scorpio. I actually trust more easily than I should, sometimes to the point of being naive. It has gotten me into trouble. So perhaps I should adopt the persona you deem as Scorpio and probe more. Not that I don’t probe, I most certainly do. I probe and poke and prod and pick. And then I probe some more, especially if something doesn’t match up. Until I get to the bottom of it. Are they lying to me? Must find out. You could call it not trusting or you could call it being investigative. I am a researcher by trade, and a communication media expert. I’ve studied 5 languages. I feel that some people don’t trust ME. They think I’m not solid and they blow me off as not good enough. But such people may have some kind of insecurity issues, or perhaps they feel intimidated by me. I have a harder time trusting people like that. Hope this helps.
Hi Elsa,
I may be one of those Scorpio types you’re asking about. I am a late Scorpio rising. My Mars is conjunct Moon in Leo. My Pluto in Libra sextiles my Ascendant but is conjunct Saturn in Scorpio.
I don’t have 8th house planets, so I may just not pack a strong Scorpio punch. I do the vetting process just as you stated – I just assume it is in people’s best interest to hide their shadow side, so obviously you can’t ask people upfront, “Hey what’s wrong with you?” – you just have to wait and see them when their guard is down.
But my Scorpio issue comes with a feeling that returns like the tide. It’s that fear of death, existentialist feeling – that everyone we love dearly, we will ultimately lose one way or the other. So the actual letting go of that need to control becomes a spiritual thing for me. But before I get to that point, I go through a period of enormous self-doubt and insecurity about my relationships with people (even those closest to me).
Elsa, this is amazing. I finally after 10 years of being widowed, have a Scorpio BF (I am Leo, Sadge rising)I waited a longtime for him.I love that he doesn’t like small talk and BS. I am a single mom, a practicing artist and I work too, I do NOT have time to mess around.He does probe and it can be like the Spanish inquisition, but I am okay with that and have nothing to hide, I am also brutally honest and I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of me. I have never been w/ a Scorpio before, he also has mars in Scorpio w/ Cancer rising, lot’s of water and feelings. I am ok w/that. He’s an amazing person.We ran around in the same circle when I was a musician in a band 30 years ago. which I though was kinda mercury retrograde, since we have only been dating 2 weeks. Anyway your talk was really helpful. Thanks for that!
I have a heavy Libra 8th house (Sun, Mars, Uranus)and Merc in Scorp. I can’t speak from the perspective as a Scorp sun, but in my situation, it has been more of a battle with paranoia. It does have to do with “trusting” your inner judgement. I also have heavy Neptune with a Pisces Moon in 1st house squaring a Nept/MC conjunction.
I had to find a balance (well, hello there Libra)between being overly trusting and then deeply paranoid. It’s easier for me now, I don’t allow the paranoia to play out into a scenario that hasn’t even happened yet. I go there. Note it. And move forward with facts.
It has been very hard for me to trust others but, I’ve found the more grounded approach I take the easier it becomes. Not to mention, being more selective has helped a great deal.
i trust openly until the person gives me a reason not to. and there still is the “probing”.. it is pretty constant. i WANT to trust people (i think that’s my libra), but in the first hint of something sly, they lose all trust until it is earned back (which rarely happens.. once it’s gone, it’s gone)… and that can happen in the first second of meeting someone, if i see a look in their eye that i sense is mischievous.. i will not trust them. if i look in your eye and feel love and joy and honesty, i will trust you until you give me reason not to.
do i trust anyone completely? ..maybe.. i trust my parents. i trust my sister. (i don’t trust my brother or anyone else in my family). i trust my best pisces friend, but only because i know the limits to our friendship (and when she will think of herself first). i trust my best cappy friend.. (as far as he trusts himself). i used to trust the taurus xfriend…. i will never trust her again.
there haven’t been many new people in my life as of late.. the scorp and i are still testing each other i think. and we will for a long time. i know he’s been burned, as have i.. and the slower we go, the easier it is to get closer. i think we both started in a place of trust, and are working on affirming that ideal. not building it up per say, nor are we searching for reasons not to trust.. just solidifying it within our relationship. but then again, neither of us are the uber scorp mentioned. me with my libra stellium, he with his virgo stellium.. there is a balancing act between us that gives each a turn to study the other; to probe.. i know when he is doing it, so i open up and let him in. he knows when i’m doing it, and he is honest and fair with his feelings when i need answers. we’ll see how it goes as more and more is revealed..
I have a Scorpio sun and mercury in Scorpio. I generally have a hard time trusting. I expect people to prove their trust. If they do even the slightest suspicious thing then I don’t trust.
I’m a 40-year-old woman with Sun in Sagittarius and Scorpio in Jupiter, Mars and Venus. Surprise, surprise, I’m single, child-free and socialize with very few people. I rescue dogs. Eight years ago I dissolved a seven-year marriage with my mistrust. I will die alone, and I accept that. Maybe in the next life…
I’m a 40-year-old woman with Sun in Sagittarius and Scorpio in Jupiter, Mars and Venus. My mother is Scorpio Rising; this woman hates everyone. Surprise, surprise, I’m single, child-free and socialize with very few people. I rescue dogs. Eight years ago I dissolved a seven-year marriage with my mistrust. I will die alone, and I accept that. Maybe in the next life…
I had to mull this for a while. I love snapdragon’s comment about “bump us and we’re on.” I think that’s very much my way. For me, it’s an assessment of what would be this person’s motivation to lie to me. If it’s not an obvious scenario, like a transaction or something, I operate from a place of trust — innocent until proven guilty. I can even be gullible with people I care about. However, when I find inconsistencies, I may file them away but really the hunt is on. I build the case in my mind, I become so hyper-aware to the slightest details that I actually physically sense when something is askew. Scorpio Moon, Merc/Jupiter conjunct in the 8th, Pluto on the MC.
My fiance is Scorpio Moon/Neptune/ASC. He probes very subtly. Many of his emotions are right at the surface (Merc/Sun/MC/Venus in Leo). But when it comes to vetting other people, he’s total unreadable.
It’s a side of him few people see because they’re too busy looking at the brashness of Leo, who seems to spend a lot of time talking about sports competitions or whatever.
Scorpio stellium here…. I suspect the initial trust / mistrust issues just might also have something to do with your Moon.
Stella Hyde in her book: “Darkside Zodiac”, describes various Sun / Moon behaviors. My Moon (Pisces) just so happens to severely “tone down” my stellium’s actions (all dark , but wet). I have to get really worked-up about something before the internal pressure blows my Piscean safety valve (Pisces transmutes negativity).
I would hate to see my actions if I had a Moon in Fire sign.
As far as trust issues….
I used to implicitly trust all people. “Scool of Hard Knocks” took care of that shortly after I left home. I’ll chock this up to my Moon…. the empathy of Pisces
Now I act more like: “Trust but Verify”. Only a small group of people gets a complete pass , and even then if something seems odd I will cautiously accept what they say. Piscean energy still emphasize , Scorponic energy kick-starts the “detective” mode.
I’m a Scorpio sun with a stellium in the outer planets, but I am just like you. I trust people until they’re proven otherwise, almost to the point of naivete. I have my mercury in Sagittarius in the 11th and a packed 9th house, perhaps that’s why. But I have actually found trusting until proven not to be a pretty efficient way to get around.
Yes, definitely, When people that are supposed to love you cant be trusted how can one trust a total stranger? I have a scorp stellium. Is it in the scorpios dna or is it the life path that we live that creates the mistrust?
Pluto in Scorp 8th house aspects to almost all planets…
Strong moon/cancer…used to be naive, didn’t listen to my first hunch…this has changed as I’ve grown older…
All you need to do is observe people carefully…and you find out what bugs you about them and why…
I’m also trying to get a peak at your room/house. 😀
There are so many circles of trust- and I have 1 person at the highest rung who has been with me for 15 years, however I have thought through betrayal scenarios. Mainly ways to rationalize it. It’s more self-protection because betrayal from this person would be nuclear…but i can get lowwwww so don’t even think about it 🙂
Well you cant trust people. Everyone has a weakness. Im comfortable with someone as long as i know what that weakness is but Ive never met someone who was airtight.
So while i dont put my trust in people, i do put my trust in the universe. I trust that no matter what happens, its for my benefit in some way.
On a more mundane level, i do believe people when they speak. Or i believe that they believe what theyre saying so in their mind they are being honest. I rarely get the sense that someone is lying. But my insecurities (which im sifting through as pluto squares my sun) lie in being effed over in some way, not lied to.
Now There are people who i can rely on to show up when they say they are going to show up and who will respect me. Usually they are Taurus and Virgo. (But ive been betrayed by a Virgo who i trusted more than ive ever trusted anyone so there ya go. Anyway, that experience led me to find trust in God and the Universe in the way I described above because my inabilty to trust anyting was torturing me. I experience more peace now).
Sun mc conjunct pluto. Mercury, moon, mars and uranus in scorpio.
Great topic Elsa! My fiance is a Scorpio Sun (conjunct Uranus and Mercury), and I am intimately familiar with the Scorpio probe and trust issues. He has a tough time with trust and is tested constantly. I think as a Pisces, I was brought in his life to help him learn to “let go” of some of these issues. And I know I’ve adopted some of his rules of trust (aka, cross me and you’ll lose me).
Trust continues to be difficult for me … and this is my 6th decade through. Sun and Mercury in Scorpio.
I don’t trust many people (Scorp Sun, Scorp MC, Pluto in the 8th). I never trust coworkers or bosses. “Friends” are a suspect group that will only get fleeting moments of trust. The people I trust unconditionally will be very select family members (2 of them) and all my lovers.
When my senses suggest I can trust someone I’m all in, completely in…sometimes to the point of being gullible. I’m an extremist and will just open my heart all the way.
Yes, I have been hurt and betrayed because of it, but once I trust and get betrayed in some way I still don’t regret my decision because as a Scorpio I know even my beloveds have dark and light and that humans are complicated.
Once betrayed, if it’s severe I jettison that person quickly and permanently, but I will give second chances depending on the level of my entanglement and the tenderness of my feelings.
I have major trust issues – it sucks. I am not Sun Scorpio, but I have Moon, Neptune, and Scorpio Ascendant. I guess the difference for me is if someone has never given me a reason to mistrust them, I don’t put any energy into not believing them. But once someone has broken that precious trust, I can never get my faith in them completely restored. With very hard work, I can go 99.9%, but painfully, never back to complete trust.
I have Scorpio Mercury sextile Pluto & I take people at their word and am trusting. But Neptune is on my Merc so maybe that leavens it.
When I was younger, I was one of those “really? ‘Gullible’ isn’t in the dictionary? That’s weird.” people haha.
I do probe a person’s “vibes” if I don’t know them yet & that is a factor if I trust them but that is kind of an involuntary action on my part & nothing I consciously try to do.
Eh, I just have Scorpio rising and I still don’t trust anybody. Period.
It’s interesting that you made this v-blog about this because I’ve been thinking about this for a while.
I trust all my friends cause I don’t really care if they backstab me. You can expect that from people.
But as far as relationship. I don’t trust.
*not a Scorpio*
It can be somewhat complicated. I’m on the autistic spectrum, and have pluto aspecting several planets (sun, moon, mercury, jupiter, saturn, neptune, a few asteroids), as well as midheaven and ascendent. One of the things that I’ve realized early on is that paranoia is simply better than getting raped or murdered or ripped off, and that people lie alot (I also still have a problem with picking up jokes and sarcasm), so it’s a big safety issue with me. My mentality goes like this, maybe they believe what they say themselves, but never forget to scan/watch the hell out of them, and if they cross the line, never forget or let them off the hook, because it can come back to destroy you. Or you just get emotionally hurt. Neither are great endings, so it’s best to avoid getting screwed as much as possible. There is a great need to be on my guard 24/7 that will probably never go away.
“Friends” are a suspect group that will only get fleeting moments of trust.
Same here.
Sun Merc Neptune Scorp– I think I trust people pretty quickly, if they deserve it. I must say though that I do not probe at all, I find it very invasive. Plus I already have people figured out within minutes, so I just let them reveal themselves. I have to fake another persona to make small talk in social situations, unless I hit it off with someone and it’s not necessary.
As a Scorpio Sun/Mercury (sun in 11th/Mercury in 12th), I mostly trust friends until they prove otherwise. With colleagues or others, it takes a while to gain my trust.
I agree with you that I do “probe” into people’s personality. I like to figure out/investigate what makes people tick. In fact, I just can’t seem to turn off this part of my mind. It is as if I am always thinking about people’s actions and motivations. Not necessarily to “judge” them, but as a kind of psychological experiment. To see if my initial impression of them was true. Although, I do basically get a “feeling” about their true self within minutes and I am usually right.
“I just let them reveal themselves”
And they do.
I like to figure out/investigate what makes people tick. In fact, I just can’t seem to turn off this part of my mind. It is as if I am always thinking about people’s actions and motivations. Not necessarily to “judge” them, but as a kind of psychological experiment. To see if my initial impression of them was true.
*very guilty*
“I just let them reveal themselves”
And they do.
Indeed, but I just wish it’d be in time more often for more people to notice before it’s too late.
I think I said that I tend to take people at their word but that may not be exactly true. Scorpio ascendant with a 12th house Scorpio moon and my intuition is lightening fast with people. I am very subtle about probing in most situations. (My 7th house Gemini sun is always tactful.)
I agree that people reveal themselves. If you are paying attention it happens very quickly in most cases. Most people show their cards all over the place even when they think they’re being slick.
I think other people think I trust them but I really don’t. But I want them to believe I trust them because then they will trust me and tell me everything. I constantly gather information about my surrounding people so I can be ready for anything. This I have had to learn because I seem to attract the type that only care about them selves and want to use me. When they betray me it still hurts but I don’t care any more.
How’s this? I don’t trust any Scorpios. Period. I came from a abusive Scorpio mother who rather throw/give away all of her money to her whore sister who almost murdered me and my dad. Another Scorpio friend I met sleeps with married men?…how’s that for trust-worthy. Another one I met, led a really nice girl on for almost 3 years, engaged and 2 weeks before the wedding, told her he never loved her and still loves his ex-girlfriend.And the sad part is that I know many more…. So lets see, about all my encounters with Scorpios have been very negative. Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde type of thing. They want to know the real you, but I sure as hell am afraid of knowing the real them. To the point I cut all ties with Scorpios in my life. Yup. Don’t want them as friends, relatives, lovers, etc…in MY experience, they are manipulative and cunning, and to be honest really don’t care if they trust me or not, after all the universe doesn’t only revolve around them. Give and take is foreign to those I met. The modus operandi is to manipulative through mind games to gain what they want. Sorry if it sounds harsh but this whole pseudo “trust” thing seems to me more as “let me find out all about you so I can stab you in the back later”….maybe this explains the isolation too…ok end rant.
OMG Hell yes. People always think I am nuts, but I do not trust them. They always come with a sob story and try to get you to let your guards down so they can cross you. Then, everyone is expandable except their lovers. I just don’t trust them. I am a Libra. The females are so threatened by us.
I have 5 planets in Scorpio in my 1st house (sun, moon, mars, venus, & mercury).
You never want to have a job interview with me. I check out everything on your resume, google you, and then feel very satisfied when my bullsh*t detector was right.
I think that Scorps are this way because we can be a bit calculating and Machiavellian ourselves. We just can’t believe that others aren’t scheming all the time the way we are. We want to figure your game out before you figure out ours. We are thinking ” If I was him/her, I’d totally be doing/thinking _____”. We don’t believe you when you say what you say because WE think you should be doing/thinking the things that WE would be doing/thinking if WE were you” Why aren’t you a schemer like us? What’s your angle? What do you mean you aren’t trying to advance your some aspect of your life to your advantage? What’s wrong with you?
Sometimes we just want to figure you out- period. Asking you questions is like having a personal “Choose Your Own Adventure” storybook. We like to see where the story goes when we peel back all of the layers.
When it comes to trust and love- I’ve been in a long term relationship with a Pisces for over 17 years and it’s a beautiful thing. But before that I was in a short relationship with a guy who was secretly with his ex while we were dating. I never spoke to him (as myself) again. Even though we had to perform a musical number on stage together a few weeks after the breakup, I never ever looked him in the eye again (I looked at his forehead when performing). I can be like a mobster “Your Dead to Me” when it comes to people that hurt me. Thankfully I haven’t had to experience too much of that in my life so far.
Love this topic. Definitely a good one to think about throughout the day. Especially when thinking back on meeting other Mercury in Scorp people. Lol wow. Totally, spy versus spy, but all sniper shots. Not a fun experience, this not being trusted, even (or especially) when I do the same thing! Aie. O when will the suffering end.
Yeah, I think trust is a strong word. I do have key people that I let into my life. But, trust? Hmm.. I trust people with certain parts of my life, yes, but trust completely… I have to get back to on that.
Trust is difficult. I sway back and forth, almost afraid to get too comfortable. For me at least (Mercury-Saturn conjunct, go fig), there’s a feeling that people will never accept me fully for who I am, what I am, how I am. And, mini impending dooms may happen in the relationship. Depending. So, I gotta be ready for what disasters may (or may not) happen. I agree with the other folks here. I watch myself probe and withhold myself from the other person. Even when I know it’s not always good for the other person, for us or for me.
Yeah, with relationships, I’ve been trained to think (Merc) in a “don’t invest” or a “they could hurt you” way partially by my parents (Saturn). And, from highly painful experiences in my past. They may be nothing for the other individual but for me, it hits twice as hard. Just adds incentive not to trust many.
Lately, I haven’t been able to trust those who are telling me what to do (giving advice, giving criticism, giving me negativity) for years now. Ex: Parents. Because I haven’t yet re-learned how to see which is which just yet.
Sometimes, people think they’re being helpful. Are they?
But, to answer your question, Elsa, mmm. I think it’s possible to gain the trust of a Scorpio mind. It just hasn’t happened to me just yet. Good luck everyone.
this video really speaks to me, and in fact i was the first to comment on that blog mentioned in the video.
I have a scorpio stellium (venus, mercury, pluto)
After watching the video (twice) i really started to think about the trust issues in my life and i realized these issues only develop when it comes to love relationships with men. I have no problem trusting my friends, or even strangers. But when it comes to love and relationships, i cannot take ANYTHING at face value. It is very exhausting. There is no end to it. Even when someone proves himself to me, i am still probing and trying to find something, anything! But in the end i don’t even know what i’m trying to prove! It becomes obsessive almost.
Im thinking maybe thats a venus scorpio thing. For some reason I have a hard time trusting men. I know many wonderful good hearted men and I adore them and trust them with my life and my love… As long as I’m not IN love
Great topic. I’m pisces, with scorpio rising and scorpio moon (1st) and uranus (12). I don’t have trust issues, except sometimes in heart related matters (and then I’m aware that it comes from my insecurities). I scan people right from the start, without even trying. I’m not testing them in any way, just observing. Very soon I can tell who is trustworthy. I never thought about it. It came naturally. Only recently I realized many people don’t have that hunch. sometimes it’s completely obvious to me that someone is lying or miss presenting themselves, but other people don’t see it. Usually then I can keep it to myself.
Thanks to this intuition or whatever is called, I quickly made friends with people, who turned out to be friends forever. It never happened that I misjudged someone, or that someone whom I trusted, stabbed me in the back.
Scorp sun here. Trust is usually balanced. I mean, I’m not gullible anymore though I used to be. I’d be interested to know what sign “GoFigure” up top is because in that person’s case, something is off.
Honestly, I don’t probe much because I’ve learned everyone is individual. All I care about is character and integrity. If they have good character, that’s all I need to know. I don’t really like knowing a person’s guts until they feel ready to share. At the same time, a person who overshares from day one and probes me is highly suspect.
All signs can manipulate. We’re all human. This is just my thinking. I’ve been burned by fellow Scorps but that was because I ignored niggling concerns and told myself it was nothing. Had i listened to my instincts, I would have gotten away from them before they abused my trust. I’ve placed great trust in Gemini’s and been badly used and abused by them. But, I have a lot of new Gemini friends who are aces – truly, in all respects. So for me, I don’t go by sign. A person is an individual first. Life experience shapes them first and foremost. How they deal with it is sun sign I guess? Assholes abound in every sign 🙂 At least, that’s been my experience.
yeah…
and i have met people who seem to be surprised to find that anyone is solid, too…
or, more specifically, men who are shocked to realize women can be solid…
kind of strange..
Wyrdling, that last comment made me laugh. I’ve got a dear, sweet nephew who, after being burned by his first love, now proclaims that all women are screwed up! lol This mostly comes from the way his mother was with him. She’s a piece of work, not in any of our lives anymore. Anyway, he loved my Mother, and loves me, and has an incredibly awesome stepmom. All of us are strong, loving and level headed women. I’m trying hard to make him see that this viewpoint he’s adopting isn’t right. Having no luck so far!! lol
i have 4 planets in scorpio, including the sun. scorps can get a bad rap, but most of the ones i know, myself included, tend to go by our gut first. if the gut says the person is ok, then fine, we trust. the probing? we want to know what and how much to expect of you. and we find people and the exploration of human nature FASCINATING! but i don’t usually have to ask much because people feel really comfortable telling their innermost secrets to me. everyone! guess they know that the truth is that i will not hurt them. this is true. what is the point in doing that? the fact is, if you listen, no matter your natal chart, people will tell right in the beginning who and what they are…
the thing about scorpio is that we do know the dark side that lurks in us, and in EVERYBODY, and so can be very, very forgiving of people we like. it takes something pretty extreme for me to permanently jettison a person from my life, and that is after they got many, many chances… so i don’t think that “trust” is necessarily the issue. a person who is habitually boring and or annoying will get dropped real quick, tho’. scorpios need something interesting and preferably deep to explore…
the thing is that for scorp, knowing the deep about people makes it soooooooooo easy to fuck with them that some do it almost just for fun if they’ve been angered. but they’re always really really sorry later that they let their lower nature escape. control of ONESELF, not others, is really ultimately what the scorpio is all about…
in my experience, pisces can have major trust issues, and cancer, even more than scorpio. scorpio rising can often have more trust issues than those with scorpio planets, no matter the person’s sun, with the exception of mercury in scorpio. i’ve noticed that 11th house ruled by scorpio can present trust problems as well as the 8th.
Venus Saturn and Pluto in Scorpio 10th house
…yup, the doubt and the questions are pretty much always there and even when the fade, my suspicions are easily roused.
I trust only when I HAVE to, pretty much life and death situations.
clio – I get the same response. Perfect strangers tell me their most intimate details right after hello!
Love this vid & thread Elsa!
Clio said, “making it easy to ‘****’ with them.”
yes, Yes, YES! I distinctly remember a lady Scorp friend who was talking about some woman co-worker being angry with her for no particular reason. Her response, “That lame-*** is a jealous BLEEP, I WILL **** her husband!”
…AND, she did!!!
Talk about letting the lower nature escape. Did she ever regret it? Not yet, I don’t think she’s reached her higher Scorpionic levels yet.
Im a scorpio and the people i trust, i have known for years and years and know their personalites 100%, they need to prove themselves. I will slowly give the person by trust, bit by bit and if they break it, i just pull all that back.
There is a point in which scorpios will trust you completely, but it is not common, thats why they only keep a few close friends to them that will be there for life, because they know those people are worth it.
Clio–I’m on board with 90% of that 🙂
My mother is a scorpio and she doesn’t trust anybody – not really. I think the closest she’s ever come is with me. I think this comes from being ‘betrayed’ by the people who were supposed to be trustworthy: her mother betrayed her by dying at such a young age, her father betrayed her by running off with another woman and God betrayed her by letting it all happen.
As these things go – she grew up to recreate this situation and married my father who betrayed her as well. He got custody of me and that was a betrayal by me – or so she thought. It took me years to convince her that I wasn’t going anywhere and she tried her hardest to make me go.
She has a lot of people in her life now, but I’ve noticed that although she’s there for them she doesn’t confide in them. And should they ever even think of betraying her – she’d be gone in a moment. So she keeps them always on edge, afraid to stand up to her, or tell her what they really think or even just disagree with her.
But not me 🙂
looks like i’ve got sun, merc, venus, and pluto in scorpio. got your super capricorn rising, too. i might be the devil if i weren’t blessed with an aquarius moon, lucky me. some saving grace is allowed to us all, i guess.
and about trust – i never trust strangers. i’m a totally suspicious person. i never hear the words people say, i hear their truthfullness. but hey, i love honesty like nobody else i know, and i don’t trudge on it or its messengers. when people tell the truth, i find that out quick like you said and i let it go. i also don’t point out a liar, i just drop them off the planet without any more concern for a single word they say. but i’d never keep prodding after the ceremony was over -ha. that’s just mean.
I am a Scorpio. I actually trust more easily than I should, sometimes to the point of being naive. It has gotten me into trouble. So perhaps I should adopt the persona you deem as Scorpio and probe more. Not that I don’t probe, I most certainly do. I probe and poke and prod and pick. And then I probe some more, especially if something doesn’t match up. Until I get to the bottom of it. Are they lying to me? Must find out. You could call it not trusting or you could call it being investigative. I am a researcher by trade, and a communication media expert. I’ve studied 5 languages. I feel that some people don’t trust ME. They think I’m not solid and they blow me off as not good enough. But such people may have some kind of insecurity issues, or perhaps they feel intimidated by me. I have a harder time trusting people like that. Hope this helps.
Sure we probe and check everything out. But then…think of us like a computer that’s been put to sleep–bump us and we’re on.
Hi Elsa,
I may be one of those Scorpio types you’re asking about. I am a late Scorpio rising. My Mars is conjunct Moon in Leo. My Pluto in Libra sextiles my Ascendant but is conjunct Saturn in Scorpio.
I don’t have 8th house planets, so I may just not pack a strong Scorpio punch. I do the vetting process just as you stated – I just assume it is in people’s best interest to hide their shadow side, so obviously you can’t ask people upfront, “Hey what’s wrong with you?” – you just have to wait and see them when their guard is down.
But my Scorpio issue comes with a feeling that returns like the tide. It’s that fear of death, existentialist feeling – that everyone we love dearly, we will ultimately lose one way or the other. So the actual letting go of that need to control becomes a spiritual thing for me. But before I get to that point, I go through a period of enormous self-doubt and insecurity about my relationships with people (even those closest to me).
dorchid, what an eloquent remark. Thank you. 🙂
Elsa, this is amazing. I finally after 10 years of being widowed, have a Scorpio BF (I am Leo, Sadge rising)I waited a longtime for him.I love that he doesn’t like small talk and BS. I am a single mom, a practicing artist and I work too, I do NOT have time to mess around.He does probe and it can be like the Spanish inquisition, but I am okay with that and have nothing to hide, I am also brutally honest and I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of me. I have never been w/ a Scorpio before, he also has mars in Scorpio w/ Cancer rising, lot’s of water and feelings. I am ok w/that. He’s an amazing person.We ran around in the same circle when I was a musician in a band 30 years ago. which I though was kinda mercury retrograde, since we have only been dating 2 weeks. Anyway your talk was really helpful. Thanks for that!
I have a heavy Libra 8th house (Sun, Mars, Uranus)and Merc in Scorp. I can’t speak from the perspective as a Scorp sun, but in my situation, it has been more of a battle with paranoia. It does have to do with “trusting” your inner judgement. I also have heavy Neptune with a Pisces Moon in 1st house squaring a Nept/MC conjunction.
I had to find a balance (well, hello there Libra)between being overly trusting and then deeply paranoid. It’s easier for me now, I don’t allow the paranoia to play out into a scenario that hasn’t even happened yet. I go there. Note it. And move forward with facts.
It has been very hard for me to trust others but, I’ve found the more grounded approach I take the easier it becomes. Not to mention, being more selective has helped a great deal.
i trust openly until the person gives me a reason not to. and there still is the “probing”.. it is pretty constant. i WANT to trust people (i think that’s my libra), but in the first hint of something sly, they lose all trust until it is earned back (which rarely happens.. once it’s gone, it’s gone)… and that can happen in the first second of meeting someone, if i see a look in their eye that i sense is mischievous.. i will not trust them. if i look in your eye and feel love and joy and honesty, i will trust you until you give me reason not to.
do i trust anyone completely? ..maybe.. i trust my parents. i trust my sister. (i don’t trust my brother or anyone else in my family). i trust my best pisces friend, but only because i know the limits to our friendship (and when she will think of herself first). i trust my best cappy friend.. (as far as he trusts himself). i used to trust the taurus xfriend…. i will never trust her again.
there haven’t been many new people in my life as of late.. the scorp and i are still testing each other i think. and we will for a long time. i know he’s been burned, as have i.. and the slower we go, the easier it is to get closer. i think we both started in a place of trust, and are working on affirming that ideal. not building it up per say, nor are we searching for reasons not to trust.. just solidifying it within our relationship. but then again, neither of us are the uber scorp mentioned. me with my libra stellium, he with his virgo stellium.. there is a balancing act between us that gives each a turn to study the other; to probe.. i know when he is doing it, so i open up and let him in. he knows when i’m doing it, and he is honest and fair with his feelings when i need answers. we’ll see how it goes as more and more is revealed..
I have a Scorpio sun and mercury in Scorpio. I generally have a hard time trusting. I expect people to prove their trust. If they do even the slightest suspicious thing then I don’t trust.
My ex is a Scorpio Sun with Neptune and Mc in Scorpio. Pluto Virgo, Mercury Libra.
He’s a real smooth talker with a calming voice when it suits him, but is a pathological liar.
He “probed” me for 16 years – reading my emails, listening in to my phone conversations, always trying to catch me in a lie.
I am a very open and honest person, so that never happened, but he never stopped his behavior.
I guess when you are such a grievous liar, you think everyone else MUST be also.
I’m a 40-year-old woman with Sun in Sagittarius and Scorpio in Jupiter, Mars and Venus. Surprise, surprise, I’m single, child-free and socialize with very few people. I rescue dogs. Eight years ago I dissolved a seven-year marriage with my mistrust. I will die alone, and I accept that. Maybe in the next life…
I’m a 40-year-old woman with Sun in Sagittarius and Scorpio in Jupiter, Mars and Venus. My mother is Scorpio Rising; this woman hates everyone. Surprise, surprise, I’m single, child-free and socialize with very few people. I rescue dogs. Eight years ago I dissolved a seven-year marriage with my mistrust. I will die alone, and I accept that. Maybe in the next life…
I had to mull this for a while. I love snapdragon’s comment about “bump us and we’re on.” I think that’s very much my way. For me, it’s an assessment of what would be this person’s motivation to lie to me. If it’s not an obvious scenario, like a transaction or something, I operate from a place of trust — innocent until proven guilty. I can even be gullible with people I care about. However, when I find inconsistencies, I may file them away but really the hunt is on. I build the case in my mind, I become so hyper-aware to the slightest details that I actually physically sense when something is askew. Scorpio Moon, Merc/Jupiter conjunct in the 8th, Pluto on the MC.
My fiance is Scorpio Moon/Neptune/ASC. He probes very subtly. Many of his emotions are right at the surface (Merc/Sun/MC/Venus in Leo). But when it comes to vetting other people, he’s total unreadable.
It’s a side of him few people see because they’re too busy looking at the brashness of Leo, who seems to spend a lot of time talking about sports competitions or whatever.
Scorpio stellium here…. I suspect the initial trust / mistrust issues just might also have something to do with your Moon.
Stella Hyde in her book: “Darkside Zodiac”, describes various Sun / Moon behaviors. My Moon (Pisces) just so happens to severely “tone down” my stellium’s actions (all dark , but wet). I have to get really worked-up about something before the internal pressure blows my Piscean safety valve (Pisces transmutes negativity).
I would hate to see my actions if I had a Moon in Fire sign.
As far as trust issues….
I used to implicitly trust all people. “Scool of Hard Knocks” took care of that shortly after I left home. I’ll chock this up to my Moon…. the empathy of Pisces
Now I act more like: “Trust but Verify”. Only a small group of people gets a complete pass , and even then if something seems odd I will cautiously accept what they say. Piscean energy still emphasize , Scorponic energy kick-starts the “detective” mode.
I’m a Scorpio sun with a stellium in the outer planets, but I am just like you. I trust people until they’re proven otherwise, almost to the point of naivete. I have my mercury in Sagittarius in the 11th and a packed 9th house, perhaps that’s why. But I have actually found trusting until proven not to be a pretty efficient way to get around.
Bump!!!
Yes, definitely, When people that are supposed to love you cant be trusted how can one trust a total stranger? I have a scorp stellium. Is it in the scorpios dna or is it the life path that we live that creates the mistrust?
Yes, general!
Pluto in Scorp 8th house aspects to almost all planets…
Strong moon/cancer…used to be naive, didn’t listen to my first hunch…this has changed as I’ve grown older…
All you need to do is observe people carefully…and you find out what bugs you about them and why…
I’m also trying to get a peak at your room/house. 😀
There are so many circles of trust- and I have 1 person at the highest rung who has been with me for 15 years, however I have thought through betrayal scenarios. Mainly ways to rationalize it. It’s more self-protection because betrayal from this person would be nuclear…but i can get lowwwww so don’t even think about it 🙂
Well you cant trust people. Everyone has a weakness. Im comfortable with someone as long as i know what that weakness is but Ive never met someone who was airtight.
So while i dont put my trust in people, i do put my trust in the universe. I trust that no matter what happens, its for my benefit in some way.
On a more mundane level, i do believe people when they speak. Or i believe that they believe what theyre saying so in their mind they are being honest. I rarely get the sense that someone is lying. But my insecurities (which im sifting through as pluto squares my sun) lie in being effed over in some way, not lied to.
Now There are people who i can rely on to show up when they say they are going to show up and who will respect me. Usually they are Taurus and Virgo. (But ive been betrayed by a Virgo who i trusted more than ive ever trusted anyone so there ya go. Anyway, that experience led me to find trust in God and the Universe in the way I described above because my inabilty to trust anyting was torturing me. I experience more peace now).
Sun mc conjunct pluto. Mercury, moon, mars and uranus in scorpio.