Cutting Your Losses Is A Learned Skill

I was talking to a pal last night about cutting losses. Mars is the planet the rules all cutting and in honor of its direct motion. Related is this video, Step Away From the Corpse.

The concept of cutting your losses is a learned skill rather than something you can reliably leave to human nature. I learned to cut my losses by playing cards as a kid. There are times you’ve got to fold your hand and absorb whatever losses result. You have to train to do this  because humans by their nature seem set up to throw good money after bad.

This applies to all situations. Many people won’t leave the casino, be it a stock they are invested in, a relationship, a war they’re waging or an actual casino, even when their losses are staggering.

Evidence of this is all around, from the woman who stays with a man who beats her until he beats her to death to the person or corporation who spends and spends and spends, time and money, trying to win a lawsuit that eventually nets them something insignificant or nothing at all.

In all these cases, there would have been indications that it would be best to quit. But you’re invested, headed in a certain direction, most have a difficult time turning back or changing course. The results are often devastating.

You can see what an important skill this is. Now is a good time to pick this up.

Learn to weigh things, realistically. If you check yourself and find you are barking up the wrong tree, consider cutting your losses and finding a new tree. Because while your back is turned to focus on the wrong tree other opportunities are passing you by, you can be sure of that.

Do you cut your losses?

 

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Cutting Your Losses Is A Learned Skill — 85 Comments

  1. I just wrote about this last night on the “If I knew then what I know now…” https://www.elsaelsa.com/forum/ board post. In short, no, I do not know when to cut my losses, at least with regard to my career. I take a pathetically passive role in that realm.

    I’ve got Mercury in Libra, and I definitely weigh everything a thousand times over when I think sometimes it would be better to just cut and run. I’ve spent my adulthood feeling cut off from the energy of Mars, and I’ve been trying more consciously to access it. Maybe now that Mars is direct, I’ll be able to do so.

  2. Apple, while I can play cards, it has taken me ages to learn this when it comes to social (Libra) interaction. For example, I have been blogging almost 10 years and it has taken me most of them to realize you have to nuke a troll on your site. The longer you wait, hoping they become “nice”, the more damage they do.

    Libra tends to compensate like crazy. They will extend themselves where an Aries knows to strike hard and strike fast with no indecision.

    I have picked up this skill from my husband and because of this (and thanks to technology and the Mechanic) my blog is consistently a place where people can socialize in an environment where they know they won’t be fired upon. They also know if they are attacked, the response will be swift and this is another way of cutting losses.

    I act in my interest and the interest of the community but this transfers to whatever. For example, if you are the head of a household, you have to cut losses for the sake of your family and this sense of responsibility can assist.

    Yesterday I heard of a man who was acting in a way that upset his soul. In that case, he should act in interest of his soul.

    What is crazy is to collect the losses as if they are going to magically turn into gains.

  3. I not only cut my losses, I swiftly amputate them. (Aries Sun, Scorp Moon & Rising). I’ve never seen any sense in beating my head against brick walls.

  4. Amazing timing. Just cut a loss yesterday. Returned a stock certificate that I knew was no longer mine. I’m sitting here chuckling because the timing is just so … so…. interesting? I don’t know what else to call it.

  5. I can cut my losses. And when I make a mistake, I like to work at correcting it as best I can.

    This week I couldn’t correct one, an honest one, and I felt bad, but I realized that I needed to stop trying to find a solution to every problem. I didn’t lose anything out of the deal, someone else lost a client, and luckily (well, eventually) the person was able to cut that loss.

    On the bright side, we didn’t dwell on it. And because of that, we gained something bigger out of the deal. The client. I was able to explain to her what actually happened– a computer glitch(!!!)– and she went from being irate to understanding about the whole incident.

    Thing is, some people (clients, consumers, etc) aren’t like that. Not as patient and they take stuff (errors) like this ultra-personally, get angry, and leave in a child-like huff.

    Sigh.

  6. Yeah, I started learning this the hard way in my twenties. I’m actually better at knowing when to cut my losses in relationships than my Aries husband but he has Saturn-Neptune conjunct in Libra in his 7th house.

    But I still wait too long when it comes to jobs (Taurus on the cusp of the 6th) :::sigh:::

  7. I usually do in relationships, in fact so quickly I wonder sometimes…though in all honesty I have never once looked back in regret. I knew my reasons and even years later they stand.

    I just wonder if sometimes I don’t try hard enough, I comb for a fault I can’t look away from and whammo, it’s in my head picking and ticking away.

    Yes, Deb, in the same boat as you. I will hold on to a job sometimes that is beating up my self esteem until I see there’s nothing left and I need to leave.

    But it’s my home that’s killing me. I bought three and a half acres in 2009 and developed it myself, so apart from the hickories which were already here everything is something I placed.
    I used to garden and really enjoy it, but the work of mowing and keeping all the beds clean is no longer enjoyable, and I know my daughters worry about me out here in the boonies.

    I’m also not getting any younger, I’ll be fifty in May and I keep hoping (childishly) to find a man who would love all this and want to live here so I don’t have to give up what I put my creativity and love into.

    I worry that I’ll drive by and check on all my trees and get mad that they ripped out my plants etc…I really have no problem living out here, if I could sell half the land or let someone plant hay or something.

    And it’s a swamp, and I didn’t have any idea when I bought it. (At the time it was a field and the tall grasses hid quite a bit. In the summer when I looked it was dry.) Water standing literally a foot in a heavy rain down towards the road. I need a new sidewalk which I can never seem to save for, and my shed is sinking and the floor rotting out. I have a trailer off the ground so that’s okay.

    I also wonder how I might adapt to town, before my neighbors moved next door I could even pee in my yard if I got too dirty and didn’t want to enter the house that way… ;-o

  8. I like the cards analogy. I usually only bet what I’m comfy losing. But I like playing for playing’s sake, not necessarily for the win. So I’m content to stay at the table as long as I’m not losing horribly. When I am, I know it’s time to go graze at the dip ‘n’ chips. Mmmm…dip ‘n’ chips…

  9. Mars is square my Saturn now and I am seriously feeling its effect in my relationships… I am setting standards now that should of been set from before… and in my case it is actually having the opposite effect -instead of cutting my loses (which have been hanging by a thread already) I am actually rebuilding some of them but to a higher level. So now if they don’t make the grade they definitely will be severed with no hesitation…

  10. I’m not good at it, I keep hoping things will turn around, see the possibilities for the better… etc. But I’m learning extra much right this very week. Part of it is accepting my own worth, which I’m also learning to do. Realizing I don’t have to compensate for others, I can just leave them be.

    Part of it is that I have Taurus and once I have started to move in a direction it can be hard to switch gears. I have mars in Leo, also fixed and that makes me act all “but I decided to DO this!”

    I’m learning letting go. It feels good.

  11. I feel like someone is peeling off my skin. I want to cut my losses buy I feel like if I do, in one situation, I will die. When I think about it, I can’t breath.

  12. i’ve been so confused lately. i have a bit of many things mentioned in comments above: Mercury in Libra, Taurus rules 6th house, Saturn in 12th, and my Mars in Leo is transiting square Saturn. I have this vision and my real life barely reflects it. At this point I don’t know if I’ll ever live ANY of my dreams. People tell me all the time I’m too hard on myself – but I think I’m not hard ENOUGH on myself. Oh wait.. Saturn transiting 11th house. This is painful. Not looking forward to my Saturn return.

  13. Walked out of work today for a GROSS injustice. I recently gave my letter of resignation (we have to give 3 months) and am now being scapegoated for things that were in place waaay before I ever got there two and a half years ago.

    I am fuming and just flabbergasted. Adding to it is the realization that part of this comes from a person I trusted who (probably) made me look bad.

    Seriously considering not going back– not a small decision, as it means a loss of about $23k in lost salary/vested bonus thingy.

    I know a lot of people would say my time there is short, probably just about 8 weeks and to stick it out– it just feels almost impossible to suck this up and let an asshole get away with it. It is just so UNFAIR. There’s a part of me that is not financially driven and it feels wrong to allow myself to be treated like this.

    Very difficult.

    • My recent ex-boss scapegoated me too. He can’t admit his real estate business is failing because he doesn’t want to do the work anymore, even though he said to me “You know, I used to go home every night and spend 2 hours on the phone with clients, but I just don’t want to do that anymore”. He started the summer (the busy season) 2 months behind and ended the summer 3 months behind on his client files. He took me out to lunch as a ‘reward’ (in lieu of bonus pay) just two weeks before he let me go; then told unemployment he let me go due to ‘poor performance’! He lost the case of course because it was utter BS. The day I left I asked him to his face (because he’s VERY cheap) if he was going to try to screw me out of UI, and he said no!

      • Well, he sound like slime mould KaD. But, tell me (I don’t understand), what is in it for him? Why not admit he let you go because his business has suffered a downturn?

  14. {{{{{{PixieDust}}}}}} Damn, Pixie, that is horrible and completely unconscionable. I’m so sorry you’re stuck dealing with it.

  15. I think this sort of think can happen a lot in the work environment. It’s like they need a scapegoat. (((So sorry PixieDust))) I hope things get resolved in your favor if that’s a possiblity.

  16. ditto, feel for you pixiedust that’s the pits and I hope you find a way to hold your head high whilst serving your practical requirements. Some people have no moral credit left .. But it feels like they’re trying to make you do exactly what you”re contemplating here.. Save them $$$$

  17. Pixie…from the Transit Watch “Mars Direct” posted yesterday: The upshot here is, go ahead and shoot but take careful aim, mind the rules, play fair and “freedom” ought to factor here somewhere.

    It ain’t over till it’s over and Elsa comes to mind yet again: “Don’t let them rush your hand.”

    I’m very sorry this is happening to you.

  18. PD is there any chance that not coming back will mar your employment record/references? I’m not trying to tell you what to do one way or the other, but I would hate for anyone to take your walk-out as an admission of guilt.
    Would a direct conversation with the person be possible??

  19. So sorry ((pixie)),in my past sometimes i cut to the chase other times no.I think nowadays my life has become like the game show …deal or no deal

  20. Thanks everybody. I appreciate the support and the balanced advice.

    I am thinking about Elsa’s Mars advice and trying not to overreact. It’s good to know the astrology to see what you’re made of. I am going to face this prick tomorrow and see if he has the coglioni to diss me to my face. Why should I be without that money? Gonna be a tough few months- you Scorps out there understand how tempting it is to just BLOW IT ALL UP- we’re not afraid of destruction and rebuilding, or even burning bridges! 😉

    Thanks Elsa and community!
    xoxo

  21. good luck pixie. that’s tough stuff… had issues like that with a job once… not nearly so much money involved, but it felt like a lot to me. it worked out fine, the other party ended up shooting themselves in the foot… but… good luck!

    i can cut my losses. but often i wonder why i took so long to them for what they were.

  22. Pixie, guys I just wanted to share a Mars in Scorpio losscutting moment here..
    I was 22, in the middle of a fight to get my (abruptly kidnapped by his volatile and not at all paternal father)3yr old son back and had to return from London to Scotland, to my parents home to live for financial reasons re the fight. (They were great and supportive).
    I took a job in a fancy hotel, doing reservations. The supervisor was a bitter shrew of a woman with no friends or lovers. Short, stout and full of her power.
    I needed this job so much I let her attitude wash over me, but every week someone else left in tears, unable to handle the unfairness of the woman.
    This hotel was where all the top stars stayed on tours,(Tom Jones, Rod Stewart, Queen,Paul McCartney it was the ONLY place to stay in those days and I could write a book about some of the times we had there) and we had fancy penthouses, which us lowly reservations clerks were never allowed to book, only the Supervisor.
    So one day I was hauled in for disciplining by this woman.. utterly confused.
    A penthouse had been double booked. THe reservations book at that time was always and only handwritten..computers were very basic in 1974.
    Her handwriting was small, closed and neat and mine has always been big and open.. no similarity, and she pointed to her own handwriting as she told me that I was being officially reprimanded. I protested, and as I needed that job, begged her to please see that my writing was nothing like this, that it was hers. But she had got into trouble apparently, so someone had to be the fall guy.
    I said to her look please I didn’t do this, don’t jeopardise my job. She smiled evilly and clicked her fingers together ” I could get you fired on the spot for this, you have no contract here yet”.. I started to shake a bit as I was speaking, again insisting I didn’t do this.. then she went for the jugular ” Anyway I believe you have a son, why aren’t you home looking after him?”…I burst into tears and asked if I could please be excused.but she pushed and pushed till I was an emotional mess, then told me I could go back to my desk but let that be a warning to me..

    I thought about this for a day or so, then two days later, at lunchtime on Friday, I went to an employment agency, and to my amazement, was offered an interview on the spot for a job that had better hours and pay, the office was round the corner, I went, got the job and was to start on the following Monday. Exhilarated.

    I was late back from lunch, and apologised profusely to the supervisor, and during the lunch hour the remaining member of the team had given notice.

    I waited till five minutes before work finished. Said please could I have a word, very politely. “Of course, of course” my all powerful boss smiled beatifically.. “It’s just that I have been thinking so much about what you said about me having no contract and about you being able to fire me on the spot, that really troubled me”.. she hurriedly reassured me that she didn’t intend to do any such thing, that we could put that unfortunate slip behind us.

    “But you see I know that you know that you made that booking, not me, and that was really unfair, so actually I am leaving, on the spot, now, have a good weekend”..

    Good luck Pixie, and anyone dealing with injustice..it’s good if you can cut your losses to suit YOU ..as Elsa says.

  23. just posted – and lost a story (about a mean employer with a bullying way, at a bad time in my life where I needed the money and I could have been a victim or victor) so the above ps is out of sync..the story is relevant to the timing of loss cutting is all, and involved my (then)3yr old son who’d been traumatically abducted by his father, not out of love.

    Don’t get mad, use Mars energy to fire you forward into something better, and time it as best you can…is my thought. Hoping all will work out Pixiedust.. there’s friction about, and Scorpios can definitely detonate.. but they can also strategise.. ; )

  24. shucks thanks chrispito..glad about that..you are just such a lovely caring person.

    I worried after posting in case I sounded like I was down on short stout folk, cos I am no supermodel, for sure and a definitely like cake. Also I didn’t mention right away that my son was returned..thing is he was so central to everything that because I knew I got him back..I forgot to add that to the post! My ex then made it a condition of return (illegal I know) that I stopped working and paid a (very)small amount of alimony for about six months, then abruptly stopped as he found out I was actually managing on that meagre amount, and fed me to the wolves of social security, or so he thought ..so I tracked down a single parent day nursery and went and begged and begged till they gave us a place, and that same day I crossed the road to an employment agency and asked for any job within walking distance of the nursery. Got an interview, secretarial work at a civil engineering office nearby, said I’ll give you my all, but if my son is sick, I’m right with him. They gave me more than I asked for and got a hard working mother.

    Ex was furious..( is on his fourth or fifth wife now and tells everyone I was the love of his life, and his anger was that at age 16 I just didn’t know what love is,and couldn’t be with him, but I did feel sorry for him at times) more so when thanks to all of this story, I got to know one of the engineers I worked beside and a year later married him. My Jim. 33yrs later..that chain of events sucked but led me to the life I have now, and I am thankful!

  25. aw…that is so beautiful! i’m glad you got your bairn back. i find stories like your so inspirational–sometimes i get way too caught up in feeling powerless and sometimes i can’t see that the feeling is makebelieve–it’s an illusion.

  26. and my snoopy side wants to know if the hotel`s name rhymed with ‘immoral’. hee hee, don’t answer that if it’s too snoopy!

  27. Wherever you have Scorpio, Mars, Pluto..you’ll meet your power..what happened to me there was that for the first time in my life I kinda stood up and owned mine.. temporarily anyhow!! None of us has it sussed.. with you chrispito I often get the feeling that you have it all there, but don’t see yourself as the amazing person you are, truly. You do things, you attempt things that show you as brave and strong. You are wise enough to know sometimes when you need a little support and to reach for it, but mostly you give a lot, and in a gentle, thoughtful way. Plenty of power there.

  28. the hotel was The Albany in Glasgow, and was demolished last year, although it went through several ownership (chain) changes..snoop away! X

  29. “That couple in the hot tub? If we lived near them, you’d be in the car yellin’ at me, Come on! And I’d say, wait, P, wait. And I’d be over there at their hot tub, tossing in some carrots… some potatoes. Yeah, I’d be fixin’ it up so we could come home to some stew. Do you think it crossed their minds? Do you think thought, we’re sitting here in a pot waiting to be cooked?”

  30. well, just to add my tuppence ha’penny worth Pixie. I did the same thing, from a job years ago where I had been taken for granted then insulted when I had a review. Week later the boss realised she didn’t have anyone else to do my job and asked me to come back on a freelance basis, which meant more money.Ha ha. I did, for one contract, took the money, then went elsewhere. Stand your ground, which ever way you decide to go.

  31. Good for you Opal!! Was reading through the thread and wanted to say good luck ((brizo)), too and ((Dawn)) and anyone needing to be brave enough to be the best you can be..

    Elsa I think you are without a doubt the best of hosts, but not so sure about your husband’s recipe for stew, no seasoning, tsk tsk.. ; )

  32. Yeah, I know lindiloo but this PC acting like no one is stupid isn’t getting us anywhere. We have to start using our brains as human beings and one way to jump start people is to let them know people ARE judging them even if their “mom” is not. We just have the raise the bar, that is all there is to it.

    That, and my husband (and I) like black humor.

  33. When I make the cut, it’s final, but I have to think the situation through before I do it. (Aries rising & three Libra planets)

    I remember this one place I worked at–a few months after I started working there, they hired a crazed tyrant who was harassing me almost from the day he got there. I lasted six months before I walked out. I quit on the spot and made a big production out of it (Leo drama, of course), but I’d been agonizing over making the cut for months. I liked the company, needed the salary, etc. The wacko just pushed me to the point where I did what I didn’t want to do. Also, in true Aries/Leo fashion, I didn’t let this guy walk all over me while Libra was deliberating–I gave him hell.

    Interesting that when I start working again, Saturn will be back in Libra and transiting my natal Libra stellium.

  34. Elsa: absolutely.. although speaking up about “the Emperor’s new clothes” fairly unsettles folk doesn’t it. As it must. Copernicus (19th Feb 1473) discovered that as did Gallileo,(15th February 1564).
    History moves us forward but there will always be Prometheans, thank heavens! It takes a brave astrologer to speak up and out as you do, and you certainly have my respect.

    Oh and re the cuisine..indeed, a little black humour often gets the point across!

  35. Lindiloo- wow, what a story. You really painted a picture there! I love when the baddies get what’s coming to them! 🙂

    Latest news- I went in to see what was going to happen this morning. The boss called me and the person whose place I was taking and he said he heard through the grapevine that I might have taken it the wrong way, that he is in no way dissatisfied with my work, and that this was a serious situation and he had to show that he had made some changes. He said since I was leaving he thought he would put someone there who could work on a task force for at least the next 6 months.

    Dumb excuse, still means that in a roundabout way he’s using me, but the really good news is that after I left yesterday a few different people went to talk to him. They explained how things have been mismanaged for years (he’s been here a year) and that he made it look like he was blaming me. He doesn’t care about me, but realized it was reflecting badly on him and made a point to “explain” why he made this decision- and everyone was very nice coming to talk to me and telling me how lucky I was to be able to leave. People I never expected to take a side made a point to be nice and supportive to me, and in the end I felt kinda warm and fuzzy– well, almost. There is probably almost not one person there I have not been extra helpful to even though it wasn’t my job, doing things they had trouble with.

    It felt like a slap in the face– 6H Pisces moon.

    Some other concessions were made, so it looks like I can get through it until I leave. And I get my money! :huge grin: Thanks again.

  36. Hi Pixie,
    I tried to post here a few times a couple of days ago and techno glitches..but hope to catch you now. I also have 6H Pisces moon..(and sun as well as chiron). I just went through more or less the same as you at work. I won’t go into all the nasty details – but it was probably about the worse work situation of my life. I guess with this placement…Pisces 6H…these situations are just bound to occur and I’m chalking it all up to lots of lessons and learning to work that inner Piscean faith to handle crisis and swim on. We can…we must.
    I forced my director’s hand to fire me…and also scored on the money front (had I quit, I would not have received same benefits) It has been terribly disruptive to my life (and my son) but it happened…and so next chapter. We’re leaving Beirut in a couple of days and heading to the islands, close to USA again. I hope to celebrate my 49th birthday next week, on the beach. Here’s to good health, good working conditions and Jupiterian good luck in the year to come…for all of pisces folk… only temporarily tangled in the seaweed! : )

  37. Pixie I’m cheering!!! Well done you! That sounded like such a Pisces “moment”! Lindsey I wish you the happiest of birthdays, felow Pisces, and on a beach sounds like bliss “Best Fishes for a great one!”
    y’know what comes across here with this Pisces Moon work thing.. is that as Pixie says you give your all, you quietly get your own job done whilst spinning a few plates for others..I see that with my daughter’s Pisces Moon too.. but what’s happening here seems so HURTFUL at the end of the day..it’s not that you aren’t tough enough to roll with the punches, more that you shouldn’t have to and I am sorry you’ve had these upsets..is Uranus around here I wonder..or is that Mars at zero Leo tweaking any quincunxes which are so often work related.

    Elsa I thank you so much for what you do here..as it stirs the brain in ways I so appreciate, good astro-stimulation is hard to come by and you offer it in bucketloads here, sowing a seed of an idea for us to run with..I tipped last week but as I just got some more work myself am off to tip again, because what you do, the hours you put in to enable this to be a community, a place for entertainment, for insights and for support, is SO unique. Thank you and I hope hope you are getting this holiday you’ve been packing for..you deserve it X

  38. lindiloo, thanks for kind words there..and yes, i think what set it spinning was transiting pluto opposing my mars conjunct midheaven…power plays at work. i was handling one, but when the second, and then third popped up…well, please, only one contestant at a time!! ….and yes, with uranus conjunt sun/moon…i guess this unexpected event was expected (of course, elsa noted it about 6 months ago in a reading)

    chrispito, yes! heading for dom. republic…no time frame in mind…might give teaching a rest

    pixie dust, forgive me for jumping on your trail here…you gave me the courage to post!!

  39. Once I realize things have gotten so bad that even if my worst fear materializes as a result of ending a situation, I still have to end it, that’s my change activation point.

  40. I LOVE this phrase that I learned here at elsaelsa. I carry it with me, but it’s still a work in progress, it’s still something that needs to be refined. I’m pretty terrible at cutting loses, actually – but there is hope!

    I’ve got something that might need to be cut but I still cant say for sure. I’m still holding on. I should probably take the loss, because the loss is actually quite good. I don’t know, I’ve still got some things to sort out.

    I had a flash of insight yesterday or maybe the day before and it was AWESOME.

    I’m obsessed with family, the idea of it, the reality of it… I just want a family! But I suck at it, I just got divorced. I’ve had a lot to learn. (Saturn and Moon in the 4th in Scorpio).

    I thought my family had to be a certain way to be successful …but my idea of what my family could be in the future just EXPANDED. I was given a vision… I’m just making sure that it’s not a delusion. Only time and patience will tell.

  41. I too think about cutting the losses. It is an uphill task. It will take time.
    Mars and Moon are the 2 planets which will harbinger change. One astrologer has told me that coming Feb 2017 will bring relief. This is due to Jupiter which will dominate my chart.
    I need to get some home truths across the society.

  42. I’m learning. Mars in Capricorn in the fifth does not dig accepting defeat in matters of the heart. But Mercury in Pisces in the seventh is clearly insane. “Gee. My splattered brain decorates his brick wall sooo well.”

    • I don’t think that sounds insane at all, Misti. Maybe you’re summoning up those intense thoughts to process the pain the way a cat purrs to heal itself when it’s injured.

  43. Such excellent timing. I am Fixed to a fault with Mars conjunct Saturn on the other hand and Pluto on the other to form a 7th/8th stellium. I don’t turn away from legacy (8th H) once and for all. All that squares a Scorpio stellium so the cutting of losses isn’t a clean break.

    But, last night the reality of how much the loss would cost me was huge. Near psychosis. I woke to find this post. Mars is direct in my 1st house asking “Who am I now?!” Can I be here and there(in my past) at the same time? Not physically, and that’s the learned skill thing, karma learned over lifetimes.

    This is helping, Elsa. Thanks for being there with the scissors/knife. Now, to take it on.

  44. brizo – I just had to write,because I just went through the same situation. I had knee replacement and that was the final straw. I sold my big, beautiful house. But, it wasn’t as hard as I thought that it would be. I bought a simple ranch that didn’t have all of the yardwork.
    As we age, circumstances change. I didn’t want to spend my time taking care of the house anymore. I had other things that I wanted to become involved in.

  45. I’m not good at it. I stay too long. Even my therapist says I need to promise myself to stop ENDURING so much shit in relationships and just get the F out…

    Well, moon in 8H Libra square Mars in Cap. A double whammy of hoping for the better/durability. My friend once said “Loyalty is great, just make sure you know why you are loyal to something or someone”.

    That’s what I’m thinking about these days….

  46. With Pluto in the 3rd and in square to Mercury in Cancer, I’m always analyzing potential losses and strategic risks. I overthink and I’m probably too quick to cut my losses when the pressure turns up. My Moon in Gemini can’t handle too much enduring stress, which I dislike. I wish I had more of my Leo ascendant’s stubbornness to dig in and fight over the long haul.

  47. I’m not good at it. For years I made effort for family member who in no way returned any level of kindness, but I believed in it. Then he didn’t even call once over a year when I got a tough diagnosis. I was just shocked; and, I felt stupid. I asked him about it, he called me a martyr, drama queen, and other really ugly stuff. I am still hurting a year on, but I have no doubts I had to let it go. Still trying to figure out the astrology; I have no Scorpio to mention, but Cap moon so I’d’ve thought it would’ve not send me so reeling. Picking up my strong Jupiter and moving on.

  48. Oh, sorry everyone. I was commenting here and there in response to your stories (as if you had just told them) and then realised they were written back in 2010. Just ignore me! But thanks Elsa; I am enjoying the topic.

  49. Thank you Elsa. Your timing is impeccable I must say.

    Mars is transiting through my 1st & coming up to my Asc this week & is at present squaring natal Mars/Pluto (Virgo). I have just begun some private contract work setting up books of account for a couple of a similar age to me (parents of my son’s friend! awkward – much?) They have had a business he started about 3 yrs ago & are now wanting to do it properly as it is growing. Initially, I was being asked to set things up with what felt like my hands tied behind my back. Uncomfortable to say the least. Questions asked about their numbering/naming conventions being used ignored or I suspect, deliberately misunderstood.

    The wife, while a nice person, is a bit of a control freak & he is quite demanding. Anyway, as I have been entering the July data, I can clearly see they are cooking the books by charging everyday living expenses as business expenses, couple nights at expensive diners as business meetings, etc. Today, it started to get to me. Cynically, I would liken them to what we call here in Australia as the entitled Liberal blue bloods; those who have this expectation that they are above being caught or the law. (FWIW, I vote neither Liberal nor Labor nor Greens – what we call a swinging voter as I want to know what the policies are first).

    Today, I started to look for other work & I’m seriously considering cutting myself away from this contract(in a nice polite manner) as soon as practicable. If I do not, then I can see the bookkeeper (me) being blamed for any or all wrong doing should they get audited (which is bound to happen with govts everywhere looking for money).

    This would not be the first time I have cut ties with a role once I discover immoral business practices. I last did it in 2003 with a research professor squandering govt grant monies on personal projects rather than what the grant was provided for.

    Interesting that Scorpio is my h12 ruled by both the traditional & modern rulers placed in h10. Says it all doesn’t it. Great subject matter.

  50. There’s one more option. The woman who stays with a man that beats her can decide to grow a a spine a bash the motherfuckers head in. No questions asked. Bury the motherfucker in the back yard where nobody can find him.

  51. Man oh man have I been in a process. I am thinking that mars is not the cutter. But there can be something(s) that deplete the martian energy to do. The energy I use to work and to play. I went through the election process witnessing the president elect. I could hardly believe the gift he was imparting. All of his tactics I had seen before in the abusers in my life. It was uncanny. When the vote was over, I felt really clear without quite knowing why. I happened out on this site and read the post election piece. A lot of comments. An overview I thought. What hit me was, the comments about not unfriending haters. Bingo. That was it. I was taught to tolerate abusers, to enable abusers. I came into the world to an existing motis operandis and that is what I learned from. And it never was quite right with me. It took arduous work for an extended period of time to get here. I liken it to the severe trauma I experienced, being in shock for a very very long time on adrenaline overload. 2 months down the road I said to myself wow I was really in shock. 4 months I said wow I was still in shock. And so it went at 6 months, a year, etc. A long time to dissipate. It not only affected me mentally, but physically, where I still struggle with returning to balance. This abuse issue has taken a lifetime. There is no use in defending myself, that was exhausting. There is no use in trying to reason. It just is. But I no longer have to enable the abusers. And I don’t have to fight them. You know how the game goes, the victim becomes the abuser becomes the victim becomes the abuser. I don’t think I was necessarily attracting abuse, but I was allowing it, enabling it in my life. Status does not justify abuse. The holy books do not justify abuse. Money does not justify abuse. And the I give to charity plaque on the wall doesn’t justify abuse. The abuse exists. We have free will and that is a choice. So the long and the short of it all for me personally, is that I like clean clear mars energy, the energy I use to do my work and my play. What was depleting my energy needed to be eliminated. Chiron is making its last pass over my natal mars in pisces. Woo hoo I made it.

  52. I think I sometimes do this. I’m better now only because I have been to some dark places and never want to be back there—–ever. These stories up there attest to some dark places! Sometimes the product or outcome is not ideal and basically sucks because of the obstacles in my head and limited time, but then again it’s done, which is better than not done. I repeat: good / done is most times better than perfect. Leave it. Move on.

    Still, I realize I have to learn this better. So much to learn! In short, fuckeroni lol. But I’m willing to put the work in. I’m realizing that I don’t work as efficently as others, possibly due to some brain differences. But I work with love. So, I need to find other ways to contribute positively. Or better yet, once I do… find some place that appreciates me. I’m no robot and I’m never going to be one. If I want to create a place where I want children and people around me to feel at ease to grow, it is better to face my mistakes, fix them to the best of my ability, and then realize when it’s time to stop. Defend myself because I’m worthy of respect and love, while not damaging and insulting folks because they are also worthy of respect and love…. but don’t have the self-control to stop hurting others. (E.g. Bye trolls cool thx-deleted) 🙂 thanks Elsa and everyone for great perspectives.

  53. Yes have learned, amputate
    Beats the alternative
    No fix no cure just run and don’t look back
    Swim away like there is no land
    And breathe deep

  54. It took me 4 years and many failed attempts. But moments ago, I just walked way from THE Corpse. Again. I hope this is the FINAL time.

    BTW, it never ceases to amaze me how, every time something major happens in my life, I come here, and sure enough, there is either a pertinent blog post or a pertinent discussion happening in the Forum. It never fa
    ils.

  55. I cut my losses recently.

    Was to start a business with a friend, but even though he, say for instance, talked shit about people who smoked cigars he still wanted to sell them for profit.
    That didn’t sit well with me. It stirred for months until the powers that be intervened and created a nice situation for me to leave honestly. Big fucking lesson I learned.

    He was my best friend and confidant. I was the godfather of his kid. Now we are done entirely. Sad, but it was needed. I changed, he didn’t.

  56. I learned to cut my losses at such a young age that I don’t remember not knowing when and how to do it. If anything I cut my losses to quickly some times. Mars in Sag conjunct sun, Mercury, Venus, and the ascendant.

  57. i’m learning. although i seem to be better at it than a number of people i know. i still catch myself and wonder why i stuck with the thing that was bleeding me for so long… (i blame mars square neptune.)
    it’s called sunk cost bias.

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