The Coping with Saturn Neptune blogs – various stories and anecdotes start here: It’s a Hall of Mirrors and We’re All In it
In a few days, the Moon will be in Scorpio, squaring the Saturn Neptune Mars mess and Venus will be in Taurus forming a Grand Cross.
In other words, train wreck ahead. It’s the same thing as last week, except worse. 😉
Peak is April 5th.
But I have an idea about this and I want to share it. I want to write about my experience last week because this energy is affecting everyone and I bet anything you had something similar happen to you… as did everyone else you know. So I want to write this down now, before things heat up again in a few days knowing if it helps someone, it will help someone else and so forth…including me! So first, the back story…
Most people who read here know my daughter is ill. She is very ill and she has not been able to attend school regularly for about a month now… this current go around. She has not been able to attend school regularly over all in more than three years. But when these acute periods occur, they arise, crest, peak and then fall. This much is predicable and everything else is out of hand. Most notably the time (Saturn) one of these periods will last is always anyone’s guess and I have had to become accustomed to this.
By that I mean I know at this point that it is impossible for me to hold a regular job. It is also impossible to reliably keep appointments or to maintain a standard of… anything.
See, most parents have their kids go to school most days and they can count on this. But I am not in this position. Even if my daughter does go to school it does not mean I will not be hearing from the nurse, and needing to pick her up at 10, or noon, or 1, or whatever. And when this is how your life is set up, you have no choice but to relax your standard.
It’s all about control (Saturn). The lack of control, that’s the Neptune part. Because I can have a firm commitment (Saturn) to be in your dentist chair at 9:00 and be headed to your office even, when the school nurse calls and then what? What happens is the tide comes and wipes out whatever structure I had in place for my day and this is just the way it is. I mean, to whom should I complain? And how is this dentist going to complain at me? I’m sorry! I am very sorry, but my daughter is sick and I have to go…
And this illustrates how we’re connected too. Because when my daughter left for school in the morning, she intended to keep her commitment to be there, just like I intended to keep my appointment with the dentist. But when one thing fails the other things fail and the fingers get pointed in the hall of mirrors.
For example, had I kept my daughter home, she could have lied on the couch while I kept my appointment. And the nurse who has her in her office several times a week would have not seen my daughter yet again!
And I’d have not had to drive to school for the… 100th time (at least) in the last 3 years, to traipse in and get my daughter so I can take her home, both of us feeling beleaguered… yet again.
On the other hand, had I kept her home and it turned out she coped all day… well now she’s just that much further behind in school. And if she does not continue to show up and try, it gives a feeling as if she is giving up on going to school – which is an illusion.
But it’s an illusion (Neptune) her teachers (Saturn) can easily invest in. Because how many times can they work to catch my kid up only to have her slip through the cracks again? (Limits / Saturn to Compassion / Neptune… etc.)
So you can see the helplessness and hopelessness of trying to define what right action is. I actually think it makes no difference at all what I do. Or what she does. Or what the nurse does or thinks. Or what the principal thinks, or what the teacher thinks or what anyone else you can think of thinks. None of this is going to have an effect! Her own doctor told me – and this is a direct quote – that he has no “earthy idea” what would be the best thing to do when it comes to treating my daughter! And he was being kind! You see, initially he thought he could contain this… but guess what? Not so.
Not that this means anyone can give up. We can’t give up. All we can do is try our best and hope it comes out okay… some day. That and believe.
We have to believe there is a purpose to all this that will be revealed eventually. And we do believe that around here, thank goodness. Because these days you cannot stand (Saturn) without faith (Neptune).
To be continued.
Do you have a similar situation in your life right now? Something (or someone) you cannot control?
How are you coping?
skip to Faith, Optimism, Despair