m. asks, regarding my strong belief my life is long:
“Isn’t that kind of arrogant? What if you firmly believe in a long life yet you drink and drive. You risk your life. You can’t reason. I mean, I’m questioning.”
m., I agree it seems very arrogant to claim you know the future. However, if this happens to you, then it happens to you. If you wake up one day when you’re ten years old, believing you’re going to be Bob Dylan when you grow up… or a painter, or a poet or an actress or a dictator… or if you’re like me and you just have news in your head that you’re going to live a long time, well what are you supposed to do?
As I stated, it’s very hard to UN-know something like this once you think you know it. So I think the real problem, is it’s not PC. It can be seen as a lack of humility but I don’t think it’s anything of the sort.
But I think I get your question. And I think what is bothering you is the idea a person might be cocky or reckless with the knowledge their life is long. But this is only half the story. Talking Pigs cast a shadow. Every gift is a curse in exact proportion and vice versa!
See, I am going to be stuck in my body a long time!! So what I do to it matters. And last year I had to undergo tests for MS, and then what?
“If I have MS, there is nothing I can do,” I said. “I will just keep living, obviously. And whatever way my body may be compromised is going to be irrelevant to that. It’s going to just have to be whatever it is. It’s not like I have a choice! I’m not dying soon so whatever it is, apparently I will just have to deal with it…”
See what I mean? I’m not getting out!
And someone told me long ago it’s not so fun to get old. Because all your friends die! Do you think it’s fun to be the last one standing? Your peers go, your family is gone and you’re sitting there in your old body thinkin’ what the fuck! Why me?
See what I mean? The vision (Neptune) is a burden (Saturn) as well as a support (Saturn).
If you ask me, you are quite blessed if you think it possible you may die before your lover. Just think about that. I love my man so very, very much. I love him to the bone. And I look at him and I know I am going to lose him. And what do you think that feels like? It’s horrible. I promise you, it is freakishly unspeakable.
And obviously I could be wrong! But obviously, I don’t think so! And maybe you get my point.
I think this is an issue of political correctness. It’s not Kevin Spacey’s fault he grew up feeling he was going to be a famous actor. Or what about the painter who puts all their eggs in this one basket from a very early age… damned the torpedoes, because they feel this is their soul’s direction?
Is this arrogant? I don’t see it. I see a person who is blessed and cursed and that’s just the way it is, like a hard-wired fact.
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