Composite Charts vs Individual Charts And Reality In Relationships

Roman SoldiersI am getting ready to work on this gal’s chart and this may be simple but it struck me. While I think composite charts are useful and do describe how two people combine, they never, ever trump the natal. That is, regardless of the composite chart, the individual will never cease to be the individual and I can use myself as an example.

My husband’s chart is harsh and obviously so. His life is relentlessly hard and while my chart is intense as hell, I would not call it harsh in the least.

Our composite chart is a fortress, it is at least somewhat “harsh” and more than anything, it is a contract you can’t get out of and to a freedom-loving person like me this is oppressive.

Basically, I have a frivolous life in comparison to his and to enter a relationship with him, I wind up in this composite chart and I can tell you right now, if I had to be around him all the time, I would not want to do it.

See, he has to sleep on rocks and in trucks and stay up all night and drink cold coffee and eat bugs and fight and lead men, etc. This is written all over his chart but it is not written all over mine.  Because of this, I can opt out. I don’t have to go in the army or live in a truck for 20 days and my point is this:

I live my chart and he lives his.  Together we have ours but it cannot take over full-time and the reason is because I have mine and he has his.

When my husband is around my life is much harder then when he is not. It is richer, more rewarding and it is full of love but you better believe the “harsh” in my life goes off the page when I stand next to him and by my nature, I have to get away.

What is nice and what saves the situation here is my husband knows he is cursed. Everyone knows he is cursed and he has no expectation anyone else pay his debt. It’s pretty damned inspiring but if you want to be around it and absorb it, the burden and the jarring energy come with.

What I wanted to say here a person will never and can never lose their natal chart so investing in understanding your partner’s natal (as well as your own) is the best investment you can make.

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Composite Charts vs Individual Charts And Reality In Relationships — 18 Comments

  1. ‘Investing in understanding your partner’s natal (as well as your own) is the best investment you can make”

    oooh, yes… I think this was my biggest error when it came to my ex, and I’m VERY keen not to make similar mistakes with my new guy.
    Eg. he has Mercury/Sun conjunct his Midheaven in LEO. I endeavour not to say “shhh” when we are in public, ha ha ha. He’s very loud, and people ALWAYS bump into him and with his heavy Scorpio he gets irate about it.

    I think in the past I would’ve thought “gee, why does this bother him so much” but understanding his chart means I understand HIM. I really want to accept the person I love for who they are.

  2. What do you mean cursed? Just because his life is hard? From what you describe, it sounds like he has accomplished a lot and contributed much to society – which may not have been possible without the unique training hardship teaches. An easier chart may never have been able to do what he has, and in a way, that may be a curse too. Hardship certainly *feels* cursed, but it has big rewards too if you get through it!

  3. Ana, he says he is cursed due things he has done in other lives. He has awareness of this, he had awareness when he was a teen, he knows he has mammoth debt to repay and if you were to spend anytime around him at all, you’d not doubt him at all because it is so obviously obvious.

    He does not come from an astrological perspective, he’s a soldier.

  4. Well, if he knows then he knows. I don’t doubt it, just thought it was an interesting angle. I remember you once told me my chart was similar to his in some ways, and I can relate to the description of harshness you wrote up there. Everyday something messes me up and I have to solve/fix it on the fly. I suppose people who know me would say my life looks like a curse too, but I’d describe myself as “pressed” all the time. I suppose by ‘cursed’ I was thinking of bad luck maybe

  5. I had to look that up. I wonder if it’s possible that he’s cursed in some parts of his life and not others. He has you afterall, and it’s pretty lucky to have love in life you know. The universe was looking out for him 😉

    This made me think of a woman I know who’s partners (3 so far) have all died. It’s eerie, and it *does* look like a curse.

  6. gotta agree with Ana; Cursed with Elsa? Gurdjieff wouldnt allow his pupils to indulge in daydreaming about recursion. Soldier boy should live in the NOW with Elsa even if a million miles away right there in his picture frame, because he could get cut down tomorrow. Soldier dont mean soul adventurers, and Rasta dont work for not CIA. In any case, my Sag moon gives thanks and praises to Elsa for her advice to me. Since talking to her ALL my endeavors hit the mark. She’s good luck…

  7. “You’re not cursed with me?”

    “I don’t know.”

    “No?”

    “I got my eye on you,” he said, pulling the bottom of his eye down with his finger.

    “I see. So your friends figure you’re cursed.”

    “I don’t know. Probably. They don’t care what I say. They’re thinkin’ that motherfucker has another booby trap over there and the cut a wiiiiiiiide circle ’round me. No one is going to get in my foxhole, P, everyone knows, they all know that if there is a booby trap anywhere it is wherever I am.”

    “When have I ever done you wrong>”

    “Never.”

    “When have I ever messed up any man?”

    “You’ve not messed up a man but I could be the first so I have my eye on you,” he said, pulling the skin down under his eye again. “I’m not turning my back on Panizzon, are you kidding me?”

    No comment.

  8. So cool b/c I was just looking up midpoint charts and blah blah blah other charts for my bf and I and it makes sense to just look at our natal charts in relation to each other.. it helps me to understand where he is coming from most of the time and the direction I choose to go with him.

    Elsa, what is your take on Progression Charts? Is it worth the look or do most people ultimately end up working with what they were born into?

  9. Once again, excellent advice. Very valuable. again. You just taught me something wonderful. Although I have strong suspicions that my SO’s chart would be considered teh “easy” one and mine the “hard” one or “harsh” one. Explains a lot. Must mull this over, I might be making some changes in my approach.

    😀 Thanks!

  10. I formerly rebelled against the Aquarius in my ex-fiance/current lover’s chart. As a Cap sun/Libra moon– “If only it would just not be that way we could build a nice life together!” It’s dumb as hell, but that was the feeling. Never mind that I have Aquarius on the descendant, so he’s exactly what I am looking for even as I disowned it. But working with the energy instead of telling it to GTFO resulted in freeing us both up from some outdated needs and patterns.

    As for curses– I always thought I was cursed to have, to put it lightly, an overabundance of unwanted psychic ability. But as I get older, I see that curses are often the making of people, and in the end, usually turn into gifts.

    Sure as hell doesn’t make them any easier, though.

  11. Well said Elsa!!
    My husband and my composite chart says he will support my career(s), and I his..unfortunately, I support him (homefront, moving, etc.) and it rarely works in the other direction. If he does support my endeavors – it’s only to the extent it doesn’t interfere with his, AND he tries to “railroad” my decisions…
    So much for support (and living with a Virgo)…

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