Communication Is A Two-way Street

two way street

A number of years ago when my son was about twelve years old, we were having trouble communicating. I literally could not hear what my son was saying. Maybe he talked too fast or he mumbled?  My husband could hear him just fine so I went to the ear doctor for a check.

I was expecting to learn I had hearing loss; the ear doctor expected the same. We both surprised when my hearing tested perfect… or rather, I had no hearing loss or problem. “Really?” I said.

“Really,” she said. “I think your son is messing with you,” she added. I looked at her with my eyes wide.

“What?”

“He may be playing with you. Tell him you went to the doctor, your hearing is fine and communication is a two way street”.

Confused and maybe a bit skeptical, I went home told my son what the doctor said. He has the family poker face and Mars in Scorpio, so who knows?  He also has Mercury in Jupiter in Aries, opposing my Mars and Mercury in Libra Family signature, right. Mars Mercury.  So maybe this was a joke. If so it got played out.  We haven’t had a problem since.

Today, Mars in Virgo (Mars Mercury combo) is opposing Saturn. Mercury is opposing Pluto and sure enough I just told someone who keeps mailing me to STOP. Why? Because I don’t understand their emails. I mean, over and over, I say, “I don’t understand”.

Now, if this is because I am stupid, then I am stupid. I am certainly not playing around. This is my job here… I will respond to your email but if I don’t understand your email, my response is going to be, “I don’t understand”. What else could it be? And if you send me two or three or four more mails I don’t understand, they answer won’t change… well, yes it will. I will ask you to stop emailing me, because what is the point?

I had another gal email me about a report she bought from me in 2017.  She lost it.  She wanted me to resend it, which I would be happy to do. I did not know who she was (no name) but I had the email so I searched my sent mails and also my orders on the backend of the site – nothing.

I told her I could not find her order and she became irate. Basically, never mind you pos! I wrote back, stating I did not know who she was; if I had her name, I could search… well you get the idea.  It’s more important, I be a registered-in-the-courthouse, bitch, because of this.

In contrast, I had a client yesterday, on the fly for sure. Her initial email was hard to parse so I asked for clarification before I did the work, after making the wrong assumption. She apologized and clarified.

aries fireI did part of the consultation, leaving time to come back.  She came back and did not like my work.  She was measured but it was still like, wtf is this?  She has Mars squaring four planets in Scorpio, including Pluto so you can imagine. I understood how she felt.

I finished the consultation, clarifying my message and explaining why I wrote what I did, rather than what she felt she asked for? This ended really well. VERY WELL. So it’s not the heat that causes a problem. Communication really is a two-way street.

I have another client, we get on the phone and yell at each other.  This is our personalities, but also, I have more than one client that yells, truth be told!  This is also fine.  Some people get fired up when they’re talking about something that is happening to them; this is totally understandable.  Yell on the phone, I won’t bat an eye. You sound like my sister or my husband or something, so no problem!

Another scenario – a person will constantly probe me. I respond but they really don’t like anything I say. My message is rejected, misunderstood or twisted… something. What’s the point of this? I mean, I’m pretty mutable and there is no doubt I try. If my responses are unsatisfying, why continue to solicit them?

I think this is the perfect day to think about this stuff.  Communication and boundaries, basically.  Bottom line, if you’re having trough communicating, the problem may be on your end.

Do you feel you’re a good communicator? Where’s your Mercury?


Comments

Communication Is A Two-way Street — 24 Comments

  1. I try really hard to communicate, but I do have Mercury conjunct Saturn in Sagittarius, so sometimes I feel rushed and lack the words to express myself properly.
    I’m better at it as I’ve aged, but it is still a struggle.

    • I can understand this. I have periods like this too… oh, Saturn T my 6th or Saturn in Virgo. I feel for you.

      I actually does get you rejected. For example, sometimes people post in the forum but what they say is incomprehensible so no one responds. I feel very bad when this happens because I feel odds are high, the person has no idea. 🙁

      • I find you to be very concise and articulate when you write, Elsa.
        I suppose we all have our moments of being misunderstood, even you!
        The thing I dislike the most is when people don’t allow me to finish.
        I get frustrated and just shut up. Lol.
        I found that I have close relationships and friendships with others who talk a lot and are articulate.
        My husband always cuts me off and I think it’s because I’m not as quick as he is.
        It’s a minor thing I suppose.

  2. I have Mercury in Capricorn which is great except for the fact it sits on my 12th house cusp, lol. Verbal expression has always been a struggle. Learning to articulate my opinions and ideas has taken a lifetime to do. I think visually so much easier.

  3. I have natal mercury in Scorpio & it is conjunct Neptune which is conjunct the moon. I am measured when I think it will affect my professional image. But I have 3 planets in Virgo and they help in analyzing my thoughts and words. I have Pisces on the 3rd house and that helps in getting my message across

  4. Emails with no context – I see it as a symptom of the zombie apocalypse (otherwise known as a forced awakening lol).

    • I read one of these emails to a friend, to check my reality. I wanted to know if the email was comprehensible and it was me who was off.

      She said it sounded like a bot to her. Oh my! How ’bout no?

      More and more, we’re in a digital prison, custom designed by each individual. for themselves. I want to engage with other humans for as long as I can find some who want to engage with me. Communication is key.

      • You’re on the frontline Elsa offering support. You are going to get zombies who are too far gone and incomprehensible. You know what they do in the movies!

  5. Mercury conj venus rx in aries. 12H. squared by neptune.
    Your post made me laugh. It’s how I feel at world every day. No matter if I do what i want or what they want, its never satisfactory to either my boss or colleagues.
    I’ve been biting my tongue for sure lately… there’s this particular colleague now (they seem to take turns really), trying to get me to react so they can feel better, and blame whatever on me (it’s a lot easier than addressing their home life or the boss).
    I’m not budging tho. Making use of saturn in Pisces. I just pretend they don’t exist (natal saturn in scorpio♏). Pick somebody else (which they did today!)…
    I’m also keeping myself in check though. In the home arena. Would love to lash out but I’d be making my own bed so. Transcending that part…

    • PS: I think your son was pranking you too. My nephew is now 12 and I have caught him doing something similar to my mom and even to his mom. Guess what, he’s scorpio sun with mars/merc conjunct in sag. He did try to pull that on me as well, but I can see right through. His pluto/NN conj exact my neptune, my saturn conj his sun by 1deg orb.
      NOPE. Not on my watch he can’t. 🥳🤣🤣

  6. lol my husband still pranks me, and enjoys it. he used to prank his pisces sun/cancer moon grandmother who he loves dearly before she passed. they have a jolly time together laughing. he can’t prank his mother, she sees right through it. xD cap sun/stellium in cap. he tells me she’s no fun. haha. ive lived long enough that i should look right through it but nope sometimes he pranks me and i fall for it >_< It must be a scorpio signature in men. xD I read about the famous actors, Blake Lively (virgo sun with stellium) and her double scorpio sun/moon husband, always pranking. (i recognized it right away when i read their pranking ) he's a double scorpio with Scorpio mars, sag venus. ha ha. his mercury is in libra though ^^

  7. Pisces Mercury. I really struggle with communicating. Sometimes, I feel like I have an alien language all of my own and it takes someone who really knows me well, to understand where I’m even coming from. And I feel like I get “bulldozed” alot. Example: talking with a contractor, I wanted a quote to replace a door and two windows that were leaking, one window downstairs and one window upstairs. In the process of discussing what kind of windows, he launches into replacing all the windows on that side of the building and keeping a uniform look, yada yada. Long story short, he shows up to replace the windows and guess what? He has two windows for the downstairs, not one for upstairs, because, according to him, we discussed keeping the building looking uniform. I’m like, what!?! How can this be? The point was the windows leak. The worst part? I can’t seem to figure out how to fix my problem. These mis-communications just blind-side me. Is there a communicating for dummies (pisces) book out there?

    • I don’t have the communication problem but I do get misdiagnosed. I have taken to using Virgo methods. List and such. Check your work. Make sure the person you’re talking to got it right… and also that you got it right.

      Less “trust”, more “verify”.

      • Good advice. I already do lists to keep myself on track at work, mostly because I am interrupted so often. And I will forget things and drop the ball. But I did not consider doing the same in a “verification” manner. I’ve also learned that if something comes to me, like an anomaly, coincidence or anything weird, I had better stop and take notice, because if I don’t, it will bite me in the tuchis later.

  8. I feel I’m a good communicator, but more with the written word than verbal. I always think of things afterward that I should have said, or couched differently. As someone who was bullied at school, and the family scapegoat even though my father was a counselor I still had and have compassion and strive to communicate effectively. Uber Libra here with a Gemini moon. Mercury in Scorpio septile Mars in Virgo. Probing, exacting communication. A lot of people don’t like it, especially anonymous posters online (not here!) *shrug*

  9. I don’t think I’m the best communicator. I have a ton of Mercury energy going on, but my Mercury is in Cancer and sometimes I think I’m communicating in a vague way, or I can’t articulate things at all when I’m emotional.

    My Mercury is also highly aspected by a handful of planets – Uranus, Pluto, Saturn, Neptune, and conj. the Sun, square my ascendant, so I don’t know, it just all feels like it might as well be all Neptune with how confused I can sometimes get. Words fail me a lot. But I want to talk so badly, let me tell you! I love chatting so much. It PAINS me when communication doesn’t flow so I always try extra hard to make it so when it isn’t, and sometimes that turns into ridiculous rambling because I want it too much. At this point I have to laugh at myself sometimes, and I’ve learned to cut myself off here and there. But it’s HARD!

  10. dolce, thanks for writing that. You’ve given me insight, reminding me of someone who frequents another message board I frequent. Sometimes she will write something so insightful and wise, and other times she will seem not to get what people are talking about, or she’ll say something that seems like she’s unconsciously or consciously (deliberately) trying to be contrary. It seems like attention-getting. Not saying that’s what you do, but what you wrote about your own experience makes me think of her. A few people over there tend to kind of bully her or ignore her. Does that ever happen to you?

    I have a prominent Neptune so sometimes I don’t get stuff, or I seem unintelligent at times to people who have a lot of earth (my earth is Virgo – Mercury – not solid!) It’s very frustrating. It’s almost like my mind plays tricks on me sometimes, and I’ve been aware of this issue since my 20’s.

    • I don’t seem to get bullied online. Maybe I’m oblivious if I do. In real life though, yes here and there. I’m sure my Mercurial nature can be grating, and my occasional apparent neediness is a turn off. People who don’t mind going silent when the conversation doesn’t flow don’t have patience for me when I get in that mode. I’d rather be slightly bullied than ignored though, because that would actually make me shut up lol.

      That’s hard! It’s good you’re aware. I spent years unaware, so that you knew it since your 20s is helpful and you can at least try to work with it, but confusion is no joke. I can’t pull myself out of it when I’m in deep myself.

  11. Oh, I don’t know. I don’t think I handled it very well until I got rid of some unkind friends. I know at least one of them thinks I’m unintelligent, or at least thick. Ironically, she’s the one who introduced me to astrology.

    I do relate to what you said about pulling yourself out of it when you’re deep in it. Because my Mercury is in Scorpio, I can get quite obsessive about thoughts and feelings. When I was a child I used daydreaming as a method of escaping trauma, so it was difficult to let go of that. On the positive side, it’s useful for doing any kind of spiritual work, such as scientific prayer treatment/spiritual mind treatment (Ernest Holmes method). That method structures the mind whilst approaching spiritual and pragmatic matters.

    • That’s too bad about the friends. 100% misunderstanding probably, miscommunication (thus this topic). It’s interesting how some people you just can’t get through to and vice versa. Like you otherwise would be great friends, but the Mercury stuff doesn’t match up.

      I’ll have to look up the Ernest Holmes method, I’ve not heard of it.

  12. It’s the 5 steps of “scientific prayer treatment.” It trains the mind to claim and accept and receive the truth. I’ve used it with success. Just the other day I was talking with a new friend who is from my home area (L.A.) and we used to attend the same church 25 years ago, based upon the teachings of Ernest Holmes. We are talking about becoming prayer partners, something I’ve been wanting and looking for, for a long time.

    As for the friend, I don’t think the friendship was meant to last as long as it did. It soured and should have ended much sooner. We once had a lot in common but as time went on, we no longer did. Each of us became co-dependent and the connection became unhealthy.

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